As he heads back to the library, he has the ridiculous fear that his father
is going to jump out of a classroom and strangle him like he did when he
was eight. Xander is terrified that his dad somehow heard the conversation
with Larry and is going to punish him like he always said he would. His
father used to always say how it wasn't right for he and Jessie to sleep
over at each other's houses every other night, because boys shouldn't even
sleep in the same room, or people would 'know what filthy faggots' they
were.
It feels like these big hands are closing around his throat, and he is eight again, at his father's mercy, his dangling in the air for what feels like forever as spots begin to dance across his vision, and he is dropped on the floor. The boy curls up into a ball, rocking back and forth; careful not to make a sound, in case it would enrage the giant monster that calls itself his father.
But then the memory is pulled back into his subconscious, and he continues to his destination, still trembling, but keeps going because he has to.
It feels like these big hands are closing around his throat, and he is eight again, at his father's mercy, his dangling in the air for what feels like forever as spots begin to dance across his vision, and he is dropped on the floor. The boy curls up into a ball, rocking back and forth; careful not to make a sound, in case it would enrage the giant monster that calls itself his father.
But then the memory is pulled back into his subconscious, and he continues to his destination, still trembling, but keeps going because he has to.