DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and
owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to
Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros.,
Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is
intended.
(Thanks to those few who did review, amongst who are my loyal reviewers who review every time- Psy_Girl, Dying Angel, and Mella deRanged. Also thanks to Marie Chantal, thanks for saying you love the story, it's good to know that some people do. This chapter's a bit longer, and if the reviews come I will update, almost the whole story is finished, but I want at least a little feed back before I post. So please REVIEW! Thank- you.)
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"I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders."
-Jewish Proverb
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Fred Weasley was just opening the joke shop for the day when two people came shooting out of his fireplace. The first was Hermione Granger, and the second was a black haired young man who he did not recognize.
"Hermione!" Fred proclaimed, nearly knocking her over with a hug. "We were all quite concerned about you, you know, the whole kidnapped by a member of the inner circle thing. George! Hermione's here!" George came running from the back room.
"Sorry for using your fireplace, it's just that Ron and me still aren't connected, and this is the second best place.
"No problem at all!" George said happily. "And who's this handsome young bloke you've brought with you?"
Hermione blushed and turned to Harry, who in turn pulled his bangs back to reveal the lightening bolt scar on his forehead. "It can't be." George gasped. "Harry?"
Harry grinned at them, and they were soon jumping all about in excitement, rambling over one another.
"Dumbledore said he thought it was you."
"Looking bloody good chap, I mean.
"Where've you been all this time."
"Ron will be thrilled."
"Forget Ron, mum will probably have a heart attack with delight!"
This continued for sometime, before Harry interrupted. "Would you guys mind keeping this all hushed up? I only want members of the order to know I'm back, this has to remain secret." Fred and George nodded, and Harry turned to Hermione. "So, where is this flat of yours?"
~
Ron awoke groggily. He yawned loudly and rolled over to go back to sleep when he realized that someone was knocking on the door. He got up slowly and made his way to the door in his black boxers with little broomsticks flying all over them, and a plain white T- shirt. He wasn't exactly dressed for answering the door, and it didn't occur to him to put a bathrobe on. As he opened the door yawning loudly, and choked and rubbed his eyes. Hermione was standing there, and next to her was Harry Potter.
"Harry?" He squeaked. Harry had changed, but Ron could recognize those green eyes anywhere, and the scar certainly helped. Harry laughed and entered the flat, closing the door behind him. "What a surprise to spring on a man in the morning. My long missing best mate of 3 years just turns up on the doorstep with my other best friend who was just kidnapped. Nearly gave me a heart attack!"
"Breathe there Ron!" Harry quipped, pounding Ron on the back.
"Damn it's good to see you Harry!" The two exchanged a hug, and just stared at each other for a moment, Ron holding him at an arms length and taking it all in, trying to stifle his tears. He turned to Hermione and pulled her into a tight hug. "Speaking of heart attacks, don't you ever get yourself kidnapped again!" The three laughed, and Ron flopped into an arm chair as though exhausted. "Well, let's hear the story then."
~
It was well into the afternoon before everything was caught up between the trio. Ron suggested going out to a celebratory dinner (his treat) but Harry told Ron that he was avoiding the public, and they settled on making dinner at home instead. Surprisingly Ron had turned out to be a very good cook, and they all pitched in to make a wonderful dinner. Ron kept staring at Harry as though he may disappear at any moment, and Harry noticed that Ron was pinching himself fairly often.
Ron felt as though he was pulling off a fairly convincing act of seeming composed. In reality he felt torn apart with the shock, joy, confusion, and mixture of smaller emotions he couldn't sort out. Ironically enough Ron felt a great feeling of tragedy swelling in the pit of his stomach, a feeling he had not felt in such a strong amount since Harry first went missing. The feeling generated from the whole notion of all those missed years, the things he and Harry should have shared together and didn't, and the apparent loss of youth. Harry's laughs were a bit hollow, his eyes looked tired and terribly aged and he had a biting silence to him that he had not always had. Ron needed time alone, time to collect himself in silence.
When Harry stood up and asked if it was alright if he retired for the night on the couch, Ron was relieved. He tried to convince Harry to take his bed but Harry was stubborn, and besides, Ron didn't really want to give it up, the couch was far less comfortable. Ron said he'd be going to bed as well, and Hermione agreed that she was also wiped out from the day's excitement.
Ron and Hermione ascended the stairway to their separate bedrooms biding Harry good night, and Harry pretended to crawl into bed as though making for a night's rest. In reality, Harry knew he couldn't sleep. He had too much too think about, and his pain was unbearable this evening. Memories dredged up from the past, some good some bad. It was the bad ones that kept him from sleeping. Seeing Ron and Hermione reminded him of Sirius, remembering their lost innocence from the childhood they had once met in reminded him of all the lost childhoods he'd witnessed over the years. He remembered being hot on the trail of an American death eater named Harvey Creg and one night finding the aftermath of a murder. Harvey had killed both parents of a family and left the young girl alone to suffer in the world. The memory chilled him and he stood up and walked over to the window to look out. Harry's teacher and mentor who had taught him to use his ancient magic was a woman named Altair Aquilla. She was very silent and impossible to read, but a powerful witch. Harry had been only 17 when he was chasing Harvey, and the heartbreak of the case was the first of a long series he would feel. At 17 he needed support, someone to comfort him and give him strength, but Altair was not the sort and would purposefully over look his pain. Harry had chosen that path himself, she never forced him to carry on. However, Harry felt he must carry on, and used the notion of keeping others safe in the future to continue going. Especially the thought of keeping Hermione and the Weasley's safe, because they were the only family he had left. Harry never caught Harvey Creg.
Harry tried to force the memories and the pain away the way his teacher Altair Aquilla had taught him, and he tried to become an emotionless, unmoving being, merely a still lump by the window, nothing more.
It was several hours later when Harry heard footsteps descending the stairs. He considered making a dash for the bed and faking sleeping but changed his mind considering as whoever it was would undoubtedly see him running.
"Thought you'd still be awake." Hermione said from the staircase, watching the sad looking Harry by the window.
"Did you now? Well you do seem to know everything Miss Granger, so I don't put it past you."
"I do know everything Mr. Potter." Hermione joked, joining Harry by the window. "You know, I was just here not that long ago standing with Ron. This seems to be the window where people go to think depressing thoughts."
"Oh yeah, and what was Ron on about?"
"It was both me and Ron actually, and we were thinking about you."
"Me?" Harry asked surprised. Every now and then that insecure 11 year old who'd never known love came popping back out. Hermione just laughed.
"Yes you. Remember, we hadn't seen you for three years and had taken you for d.dea. well it doesn't really matter what we'd taken you for, point is."
"You thought I was dead." Harry stated plainly, unnerving Hermione a bit.
"Actually, I was still in denial. But none of that matters now because you're clearly alive and that's all that matters."
"Well Hermione, I wouldn't say I'm completely alive." He turned his haunted, tired eyes onto her, and a chill ran down her spine. She felt herself go speechless. Perhaps he was right, a part of Harry had forever died. But then she remembered the snow fight. That part of Harry was still there is was just damaged. She decided to tell him this.
"You are fully alive Harry. You just need something to bring out those damaged parts." There was silence as she wondered what exactly had brought out that childlike Harry she had played with in the snow, what had vanquished that lonely look from his eyes and taken that silent edge that cut so deeply from him. What had made him more like that brave, caring and selfless boy she had adored all throughout childhood.
Hermione pondered this, but Harry already knew the answer.
"So, what are you doing out of bed?" Harry asked, changing the subject. Hermione shrugged, taking a seat at the kitchen table.
"Nightmares?" Harry asked not looking at her.
Hermione's eyes widened. "How do you know?"
Harry turned and looked into her eyes. "You've had them every night since I rescued you from the Death Eater's club. Both nights I went into your room and saw you were clearly having nightmares."
Hermione felt surprised that Harry had gone into her room two nights in a row and hadn't said anything until now, but didn't comment on it. "They're horrible nightmares Harry. It's that creepy club I went into. I don't know how you were able to bare it in there for so long. All those death eaters, and Voldemort so close. I hope I never have to go there again."
Harry stepped closer to her and she became acutely aware of the fact that he was only in a muscle shirt and boxers. She felt her stomach flip. "What are the dreams about?" He asked her softly, kneeling in front of her. She suddenly felt very anxious. How did he not notice the effect he had on her? How did he not notice that she was in love with him?
Finally she cleared he throat to speak. "Well, sometimes I never get saved and I'm sent to Voldemort and tortured. Sometimes I find out that you're actually a death eater and you bring me to Voldemort. Sometimes Jaques Farrier beats me until I die."
"Beats you?"
"Well yes, he wasn't exactly the nicest of kidnappers. He was a bit rough and I was afraid he would kill me at first."
"Bastard." Harry said loudly and angrily, causing Hermione to jump.
"Well, it's really okay Harry, I mean, I'm safe now."
"Yeah" Harry muttered sounding unconvinced. He walked over to the window again and leaned hard against the wall. "I shouldn't have left. I was so stupid. I thought by leaving I was protecting people, but I just made it worse didn't I?"
"What are you talking about Harry?"
"Nothing. You should get back to sleep."
"Harry, what didn't you understand about the whole nightmares thing? I don't want to sleep. I can't." Her voice sounded a bit panicky as she said this, and he looked at her with concern.
"You do have to try. Listen, you promise to try, I promise to try."
Hermione raised a skeptical eyebrow. "How will I know that you made any effort?"
Harry feigned a hurt look. "Can't you trust me? No? Okay then, here's the deal. I'll sleep on your bedroom floor. Then we can both watch out for each other."
Hermione considered the proposition. The idea of having Harry sleeping in the same room as her sounded a bit reckless, especially if she was expected to keep her composure around him. At the same time, she liked the idea. She finally nodded consent and the two headed up to her room, Harry grabbing a pillow and blanket off the couch. Once they settled in her room, they said good night and both emerged themselves in a silence which they hoped would change to sleep.
~
Harry awoke the next morning on Hermione's bed with her infolded in his arms. He began to panic. What had happened the night before? It was slowly coming back.
He had been laying on the floor in silence trying to sleep when her nightmares began. He could tell they were horribly violent, and he quickly jumped up onto her bed to try to shake her awake. Her eyes fluttered open and he saw intense fear in them, her body trembling all over. She threw herself into his arms and he held her until they both fell asleep.
Harry took in a sharp breathe. He prayed to god she wouldn't wake up as he tried to separate himself from her, despite the fact that he didn't want to. He liked having her close to him as he slept. Once he was separated from her he stood up and quietly left the room to go down to the kitchen and get something to eat. As he closed the door behind him, Hermione slowly opened her eyes.
She had awoken the moment Harry had shifted away from her, and she had remained silent as he moved about. She wished he'd stay with her, it had never felt so good to be held as it had right then. That one innocent gesture from Harry had sparked more emotion than even the deepest kisses she'd ever shared with Ron. She cursed herself severely for having these feelings for Harry, especially since he would probably never reciprocate them. As soon as other witches saw Harry they'd be all over him, and he'd probably forget all about her. Besides the fact that she was unsure of how capable Harry was of feeling after all these years of pain. Anyways, any girl who fell in love with Harry was potentially setting themselves up for heartbreak, for as the prophecy had said, either he or Voldemort was going to die. She didn't want to think about it. She shook her head clear and set to the days tasks.
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(I hope everyone liked this chapter alright, things will pick up soon and new character is coming. Also, in upcoming chapters. a lot of darkness, a speech, a criminal and some other fun stuff. If you want to find out review! Also, as a question to those who do review, this is !IMPORTANT! I know it's early in the game still, but I can't decide weather to end this fic or write a sequel. Please, give me some imput. Thank- you.
(Thanks to those few who did review, amongst who are my loyal reviewers who review every time- Psy_Girl, Dying Angel, and Mella deRanged. Also thanks to Marie Chantal, thanks for saying you love the story, it's good to know that some people do. This chapter's a bit longer, and if the reviews come I will update, almost the whole story is finished, but I want at least a little feed back before I post. So please REVIEW! Thank- you.)
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"I ask not for a lighter burden, but for broader shoulders."
-Jewish Proverb
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fred Weasley was just opening the joke shop for the day when two people came shooting out of his fireplace. The first was Hermione Granger, and the second was a black haired young man who he did not recognize.
"Hermione!" Fred proclaimed, nearly knocking her over with a hug. "We were all quite concerned about you, you know, the whole kidnapped by a member of the inner circle thing. George! Hermione's here!" George came running from the back room.
"Sorry for using your fireplace, it's just that Ron and me still aren't connected, and this is the second best place.
"No problem at all!" George said happily. "And who's this handsome young bloke you've brought with you?"
Hermione blushed and turned to Harry, who in turn pulled his bangs back to reveal the lightening bolt scar on his forehead. "It can't be." George gasped. "Harry?"
Harry grinned at them, and they were soon jumping all about in excitement, rambling over one another.
"Dumbledore said he thought it was you."
"Looking bloody good chap, I mean.
"Where've you been all this time."
"Ron will be thrilled."
"Forget Ron, mum will probably have a heart attack with delight!"
This continued for sometime, before Harry interrupted. "Would you guys mind keeping this all hushed up? I only want members of the order to know I'm back, this has to remain secret." Fred and George nodded, and Harry turned to Hermione. "So, where is this flat of yours?"
~
Ron awoke groggily. He yawned loudly and rolled over to go back to sleep when he realized that someone was knocking on the door. He got up slowly and made his way to the door in his black boxers with little broomsticks flying all over them, and a plain white T- shirt. He wasn't exactly dressed for answering the door, and it didn't occur to him to put a bathrobe on. As he opened the door yawning loudly, and choked and rubbed his eyes. Hermione was standing there, and next to her was Harry Potter.
"Harry?" He squeaked. Harry had changed, but Ron could recognize those green eyes anywhere, and the scar certainly helped. Harry laughed and entered the flat, closing the door behind him. "What a surprise to spring on a man in the morning. My long missing best mate of 3 years just turns up on the doorstep with my other best friend who was just kidnapped. Nearly gave me a heart attack!"
"Breathe there Ron!" Harry quipped, pounding Ron on the back.
"Damn it's good to see you Harry!" The two exchanged a hug, and just stared at each other for a moment, Ron holding him at an arms length and taking it all in, trying to stifle his tears. He turned to Hermione and pulled her into a tight hug. "Speaking of heart attacks, don't you ever get yourself kidnapped again!" The three laughed, and Ron flopped into an arm chair as though exhausted. "Well, let's hear the story then."
~
It was well into the afternoon before everything was caught up between the trio. Ron suggested going out to a celebratory dinner (his treat) but Harry told Ron that he was avoiding the public, and they settled on making dinner at home instead. Surprisingly Ron had turned out to be a very good cook, and they all pitched in to make a wonderful dinner. Ron kept staring at Harry as though he may disappear at any moment, and Harry noticed that Ron was pinching himself fairly often.
Ron felt as though he was pulling off a fairly convincing act of seeming composed. In reality he felt torn apart with the shock, joy, confusion, and mixture of smaller emotions he couldn't sort out. Ironically enough Ron felt a great feeling of tragedy swelling in the pit of his stomach, a feeling he had not felt in such a strong amount since Harry first went missing. The feeling generated from the whole notion of all those missed years, the things he and Harry should have shared together and didn't, and the apparent loss of youth. Harry's laughs were a bit hollow, his eyes looked tired and terribly aged and he had a biting silence to him that he had not always had. Ron needed time alone, time to collect himself in silence.
When Harry stood up and asked if it was alright if he retired for the night on the couch, Ron was relieved. He tried to convince Harry to take his bed but Harry was stubborn, and besides, Ron didn't really want to give it up, the couch was far less comfortable. Ron said he'd be going to bed as well, and Hermione agreed that she was also wiped out from the day's excitement.
Ron and Hermione ascended the stairway to their separate bedrooms biding Harry good night, and Harry pretended to crawl into bed as though making for a night's rest. In reality, Harry knew he couldn't sleep. He had too much too think about, and his pain was unbearable this evening. Memories dredged up from the past, some good some bad. It was the bad ones that kept him from sleeping. Seeing Ron and Hermione reminded him of Sirius, remembering their lost innocence from the childhood they had once met in reminded him of all the lost childhoods he'd witnessed over the years. He remembered being hot on the trail of an American death eater named Harvey Creg and one night finding the aftermath of a murder. Harvey had killed both parents of a family and left the young girl alone to suffer in the world. The memory chilled him and he stood up and walked over to the window to look out. Harry's teacher and mentor who had taught him to use his ancient magic was a woman named Altair Aquilla. She was very silent and impossible to read, but a powerful witch. Harry had been only 17 when he was chasing Harvey, and the heartbreak of the case was the first of a long series he would feel. At 17 he needed support, someone to comfort him and give him strength, but Altair was not the sort and would purposefully over look his pain. Harry had chosen that path himself, she never forced him to carry on. However, Harry felt he must carry on, and used the notion of keeping others safe in the future to continue going. Especially the thought of keeping Hermione and the Weasley's safe, because they were the only family he had left. Harry never caught Harvey Creg.
Harry tried to force the memories and the pain away the way his teacher Altair Aquilla had taught him, and he tried to become an emotionless, unmoving being, merely a still lump by the window, nothing more.
It was several hours later when Harry heard footsteps descending the stairs. He considered making a dash for the bed and faking sleeping but changed his mind considering as whoever it was would undoubtedly see him running.
"Thought you'd still be awake." Hermione said from the staircase, watching the sad looking Harry by the window.
"Did you now? Well you do seem to know everything Miss Granger, so I don't put it past you."
"I do know everything Mr. Potter." Hermione joked, joining Harry by the window. "You know, I was just here not that long ago standing with Ron. This seems to be the window where people go to think depressing thoughts."
"Oh yeah, and what was Ron on about?"
"It was both me and Ron actually, and we were thinking about you."
"Me?" Harry asked surprised. Every now and then that insecure 11 year old who'd never known love came popping back out. Hermione just laughed.
"Yes you. Remember, we hadn't seen you for three years and had taken you for d.dea. well it doesn't really matter what we'd taken you for, point is."
"You thought I was dead." Harry stated plainly, unnerving Hermione a bit.
"Actually, I was still in denial. But none of that matters now because you're clearly alive and that's all that matters."
"Well Hermione, I wouldn't say I'm completely alive." He turned his haunted, tired eyes onto her, and a chill ran down her spine. She felt herself go speechless. Perhaps he was right, a part of Harry had forever died. But then she remembered the snow fight. That part of Harry was still there is was just damaged. She decided to tell him this.
"You are fully alive Harry. You just need something to bring out those damaged parts." There was silence as she wondered what exactly had brought out that childlike Harry she had played with in the snow, what had vanquished that lonely look from his eyes and taken that silent edge that cut so deeply from him. What had made him more like that brave, caring and selfless boy she had adored all throughout childhood.
Hermione pondered this, but Harry already knew the answer.
"So, what are you doing out of bed?" Harry asked, changing the subject. Hermione shrugged, taking a seat at the kitchen table.
"Nightmares?" Harry asked not looking at her.
Hermione's eyes widened. "How do you know?"
Harry turned and looked into her eyes. "You've had them every night since I rescued you from the Death Eater's club. Both nights I went into your room and saw you were clearly having nightmares."
Hermione felt surprised that Harry had gone into her room two nights in a row and hadn't said anything until now, but didn't comment on it. "They're horrible nightmares Harry. It's that creepy club I went into. I don't know how you were able to bare it in there for so long. All those death eaters, and Voldemort so close. I hope I never have to go there again."
Harry stepped closer to her and she became acutely aware of the fact that he was only in a muscle shirt and boxers. She felt her stomach flip. "What are the dreams about?" He asked her softly, kneeling in front of her. She suddenly felt very anxious. How did he not notice the effect he had on her? How did he not notice that she was in love with him?
Finally she cleared he throat to speak. "Well, sometimes I never get saved and I'm sent to Voldemort and tortured. Sometimes I find out that you're actually a death eater and you bring me to Voldemort. Sometimes Jaques Farrier beats me until I die."
"Beats you?"
"Well yes, he wasn't exactly the nicest of kidnappers. He was a bit rough and I was afraid he would kill me at first."
"Bastard." Harry said loudly and angrily, causing Hermione to jump.
"Well, it's really okay Harry, I mean, I'm safe now."
"Yeah" Harry muttered sounding unconvinced. He walked over to the window again and leaned hard against the wall. "I shouldn't have left. I was so stupid. I thought by leaving I was protecting people, but I just made it worse didn't I?"
"What are you talking about Harry?"
"Nothing. You should get back to sleep."
"Harry, what didn't you understand about the whole nightmares thing? I don't want to sleep. I can't." Her voice sounded a bit panicky as she said this, and he looked at her with concern.
"You do have to try. Listen, you promise to try, I promise to try."
Hermione raised a skeptical eyebrow. "How will I know that you made any effort?"
Harry feigned a hurt look. "Can't you trust me? No? Okay then, here's the deal. I'll sleep on your bedroom floor. Then we can both watch out for each other."
Hermione considered the proposition. The idea of having Harry sleeping in the same room as her sounded a bit reckless, especially if she was expected to keep her composure around him. At the same time, she liked the idea. She finally nodded consent and the two headed up to her room, Harry grabbing a pillow and blanket off the couch. Once they settled in her room, they said good night and both emerged themselves in a silence which they hoped would change to sleep.
~
Harry awoke the next morning on Hermione's bed with her infolded in his arms. He began to panic. What had happened the night before? It was slowly coming back.
He had been laying on the floor in silence trying to sleep when her nightmares began. He could tell they were horribly violent, and he quickly jumped up onto her bed to try to shake her awake. Her eyes fluttered open and he saw intense fear in them, her body trembling all over. She threw herself into his arms and he held her until they both fell asleep.
Harry took in a sharp breathe. He prayed to god she wouldn't wake up as he tried to separate himself from her, despite the fact that he didn't want to. He liked having her close to him as he slept. Once he was separated from her he stood up and quietly left the room to go down to the kitchen and get something to eat. As he closed the door behind him, Hermione slowly opened her eyes.
She had awoken the moment Harry had shifted away from her, and she had remained silent as he moved about. She wished he'd stay with her, it had never felt so good to be held as it had right then. That one innocent gesture from Harry had sparked more emotion than even the deepest kisses she'd ever shared with Ron. She cursed herself severely for having these feelings for Harry, especially since he would probably never reciprocate them. As soon as other witches saw Harry they'd be all over him, and he'd probably forget all about her. Besides the fact that she was unsure of how capable Harry was of feeling after all these years of pain. Anyways, any girl who fell in love with Harry was potentially setting themselves up for heartbreak, for as the prophecy had said, either he or Voldemort was going to die. She didn't want to think about it. She shook her head clear and set to the days tasks.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(I hope everyone liked this chapter alright, things will pick up soon and new character is coming. Also, in upcoming chapters. a lot of darkness, a speech, a criminal and some other fun stuff. If you want to find out review! Also, as a question to those who do review, this is !IMPORTANT! I know it's early in the game still, but I can't decide weather to end this fic or write a sequel. Please, give me some imput. Thank- you.