Chapter 3
Pacing her apartment frustrated over tonight's happenings, Quistis glance between her phone and her friend's purse.
She knows what she has to do. After all, it's only a matter of time before her friend discovers it missing, and goodness knows, total chaos will brake loose the moment that happens.
Walking over to the phone, one thought enters her mind. "What if he answers?"
Who's to say he didn't think you were a total nutcase, and was counting his blessings now that things hadn't gone any further than they had because of how you acted all evening? Her conscience told her.
"Well you don't have time to think about it," Quistis told herself. People were leaving the party now and her friend was no exception.
"Better to call and clue her in on where her purse was instead of causing another catastrophe in the making…sigh.."
Punching in his phone number that was on the RSVP of the party's invitation, Quistis brace herself for the upcoming conversation.
The warm velvetness of Seifer's voice edged with concern trips across the phone line scatters butterflies in the pit of her stomach. Momentarily at a loss for words, Quistis remind herself that the situation could be worse.
Maybe he thinks you're a nutcase but at least he didn't catch you red handed with his diary.
"Now all you have to do is say something before he hangs up the phone thinking this happens to be a prank phone call" she muttered.
Quistis begin with an apology for her rude behavior while weaving another web of deceit about mistaking her friends purse as her own.
"Thank goodness my purse resembled a wallet, no one was the wiser when I walked out of the door toting two purses instead of one."she thought in relief
The warm concern in his voice turns to amused relief. After she talk to her friend about where her purse is, he's on the phone once more and asks to see her again.
Not sure if she was hearing had gone haywire, the elation of his words sink in.
Yes, her heart screams, Tell him yes!
By the time the receiver is back where it belongs, Quistis was so overjoyed words can hardly describe how her hearts filled to bursting.
Racing over to her friend's carry-all, Quistis remove the diary knowing her apartment will be the first stop her friend will make. The last thing she want her aware of is what she had been up to at the party, so she wondered where to hide the diary from sight.
Momentarily lingering to trace her fingers lovingly across the leather-bound surface, thoughts of him fill her senses.
She can't resist opening up to pages again; her heart filled with secretive endearments as she read…
"...Life never ceases to amaze me. Just when I think I have everything figured out I get thrown a curve. For the past couple of weeks she has been the only thing on my mind.
Day and night I have thought about all the things I wish I could tell her. Several times I've tried to find some reason to approach her just to start a simple conversation. I'd talk about anything just to hear that sweet voice again.
Today I finally realized that I couldn't hide forever. This weekend was the last performance, so it was now or never.
I went to the theater early to be sure I'd see her before the show started. Apparently there was some work going on inside so I decided to sit outside and wait for the technical crew to finish.
It was such a beautiful night, I decide to take advantage of the moment and play my guitar. I propped the exit door open and sat outside on the edge of the stairway.
As always I just started playing whatever was on my mind. Closing my eyes words flowed while my fingers slowly strummed sweet notes of music.
I sat there and imagined what it would be like to have her there while I was playing, wondering what she would say if she knew I was singing for her and praying that someday she would know all this and more.
Suddenly I began singing. I must have sung that song a million times before but never to this extreme.
Singing with more feeling then I've ever summoned before, I found that point where an artist becomes one with the song, giving life to it as my heart beat in rhythm of each note strummed. As I sang the words,
"What a wicked thing to do, To make me dream of you."
I pulled energy from the very depth of my soul as my voice echoed off the buildings into the night.
Then there was silence. The only sound heard was my heartbeat pounding against my chest while I gasped for air. And then just as suddenly I heard clapping followed by a voice that was music to my ears.
I opened my eyes to view her standing before me, startled to find her there like a wish come true. With compliments tripping off her sweet voice about how talented I was, all I could think of doing was thank her blaming my love for music being responsible for singing the way I did.
We sat there on the stairs for what seemed like hours talking about how music was such an important part of our lives. She depended on music to give her the rhythm so that she could express herself as she danced.
I depended on music as a way of guiding my thoughts and expressing my dreams. If she only knew that lately those dreams had been of her.
I didn't dare tell her that. At that moment all I wanted to do was take her hand in mine as we sat there on the stairs like two children sitting on the front porch enjoying a summer's night.
I just lost myself to the moment for everything it meant to me while I sat amazed that she was really talking to me.
Talking to her tonight was absolutely wonderful. Forgetting how nervous I was around her I just enjoyed those moments with her, better then any dream come true because it was natural. I didn't have to make up some story or search for conversation. It was just she and I and the evening.
How could I have known tonight would be the night, and how could I have known she'd come to me? It must have been destiny that she'd find me singing my hearts desire for her. After all this time I'm suddenly encouraged that fate is on my side.
Just about then the stage manager peeked out the door to let us know there was a cast call. The director went through his usual notes and comments about the show and then said that he had something to discuss.
It turned out to be about the cast reception planned for this weekend. Originally scheduled to be at his house, there were problems with remodeling so there had to be an alternative somewhere else.
Then it hit me. I could host the reception. I quickly offered my home for the reception mentioning it'd be no trouble and that I'd been waiting for an excuse to throw a get-together for some time.
I quickly glanced over to her and noticed that wondrous smile of hers gracing her features that shone through the depths of her beautiful eyes.
Had she enjoyed our conversation as much as I? Was it possible she longed to spend the evening together just like I did talking about simple pleasures just like we had this evening?
Only time will tell but this is the perfect chance I'd been hoping for."
Seifer
The memory of that recent summer night plays again in her minds eye. His voice caressing the words of a song that drew her nearer, the stolen moments of only the two of them discovering the shared wonder the both of them felt.
Her fingers lightly skim against pages once more...
"...Times have been interesting lately. I've been dreaming about her again. A woman yet I don't even know her name.
To me she's the woman in my dreams come to protect and give me comfort. She's everything that I've ever wanted and everything I desire.
Through rough times she's my strength and shelter, and there when I'm at my most vulnerable and feeling very alone.
Tonight was no exception. I awoke from sleep like a frightened child wondering what scared me so. Maybe it was the thought of never meeting this woman in my dreams, this same woman who's become part of my life without the reality of her existence.
How do I make this reality? How do I make this romance that only partakes in the depths of my soul-searching dreams at night a part of my life? All these thoughts upset me so, that I decided to write them to calm me down.
I had a dream of her again last night.
It seemed so real and lasted through the morning light.
I sat there helplessly as she held me with her arms.
She protected me from all danger, from those who might harm.
As fears crept into my soul, she pushed them all away.
When she looked deep into my eyes, I was lost without words to say.
I did not think that I could ever find someone, who could make me feel alive again.
I had given up hope, lost all feeling, and started to believe I was close to the end.
Even though I have now realized that reality is not always what it seems.
It is my deepest wish that she would still love me in my dreams.
She came along and touched my heart, and took away all the pain.
I can not explain these feeling from my soul, do not remember when I felt the same.
She brings me a special kind of romantic love.
The kind I have always dreamed of.
There may be things that may keep us apart.
But know I love you with all my heart.
If these dreams of love ever have a chance of coming true.
I pray to whom ever may listen that they are spent with you.
This dreams of you I have at night.
They feel so right, when there is no light.
It's amazing. When I first started writing, I thought I was writing about the woman in my dreams, then I began writing as if I was writing to someone I know. Someone who I know can completely change my life.
Could I know this woman that haunts my dreams at night? Can it be that I've met her and not even realized that the one I've always longed for is waiting for me?
Perhaps time will reveal this woman in my dreams, is a vision of someone I will meet in the future."
Seifer
Closing her eyes she can well imagine his longings are the very same as her own.
"How many times have I wished for someone that could touch my heart?", Quistis ask herself,
"How many nights have I longed for love to find me and show me the way to be whole?"
Slowly she close his diary and hold it close against her as her heart whispers the words from the depths of her being hoping his dreams tonight will hear them,
"I love you."
The knock at the door startles her back into the present -- it has to be Rinoa.
Quickly hiding his diary from sight, Quistis open the door, and there she is, Rinoa automatically flooded her with dozens of questions about her purse and her strange behavior this evening.
Quistis want to desperately confide in her, but she avoid answers, giving her the same flippant excuses she had given Seifer.
A bit daunted, Rinoa finally gets the hint Quistis wont give details, even though she knows there's more to what Quistis was not saying.
Rinoa hands her a leather bound volume, Romeo and Juliet.
"Something you forgot that he wanted to be sure you had," she states with a touch of too much innocence, "He says it's a gift, and wrote something in there for you."
Taking the Shakespearean volume, it's only after Rinoa leaves that curiosity gets the better of Quistis, and she gently open the cover.
The same wondrous flow of his handwriting draws an emotional tug of endearment as she softly whisper the few words inscribed,
"To a woman I thought could only exist in my dreams."