Chapter 7: The Shot
~
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Christian held tightly onto his pale angel's arm, his face blanched and flushed of color. She did the best she could to help him, comfort him, but it would be too late soon.
"Satine! Help me, please oh god... help me! I need you!" Christian begged, looking up that silky white angel above him, his breath heaving.
"I can't do anything, Christian." she answered, disappointed. "I've tried, but they forbid me to do anything of these matters."
"Please... please I need you! You're my guardian angel... please!"
"I can't mess with love relationships,-"
"This isn't...isn't love! It's lust, j-just like you... warned me.", Christian realized; she was right all along.
"You brought this onto yourself, its too deep now."
"Ah... Satine... oh please! Please at least make him stop!", the way he spoke began to be longer, more forced.
"I'm sorry, but I can't do anything! Please hold on!", seemed like she was going to cry, "I know you can do something, I just know it!" Christian stopped short before he could even speak, his eyes blinked shut and his head, pale and flushed, flew backwards, hitting the wall sharply behind him, beginning to shudder. ~
He opened them back slowly, and noticed he was staring at the ceiling, his angel was gone. He slid down, shutting his eyes again, breathless and tired, his head resting in between his knees. He felt the Duke's fingers brush up his body and putting back his hair, making him shiver again, "You were beautiful. Just as I thought you'd be, my precious little harlot."
"I'm not a harlot, I'm not yours, you do not own me...", Christian looked up at him and cautiously stood back up, his lazy jaded eyes looked at him in hidden anger.
"Are you sure about that?-"
"Don't think you can change my mind that easily. I don't care who you are and what your status is, I know you don't love me, you just think I'm some stupid whore you can easily trick into doing anything you want.",Christian spat, putting his hand in his pocket, and quickly taking it out. Don't...
"You really do love living your life like this? Your bohemian age is ending, your own life is ending, nothing lives forever."
"Not everything! Love, love lives forever!"
"Love? You really think that love lives forever? Stupid bohemian." Christian's anger rose, "I am not stupid! It does live forever! You just don't know it because..." breathe in, "because you're a god fore-saken PIMP!", breathe out. Keep control...
The Duke merely stared at this pissed little revolutionary, "You're calling me a pimp when I can't call you a little whore? Your lifestyle is so similar to a prostitute's! You're waiting for the right one to 'fall in love with', just like Satine did to you and I." Christian was furious, but said nothing, as the 'pimp' stood across from him, staring him down. "Exactly; silent. Can't think of much, can you boy? Do you want me to just end it right here and now, so you can go on with your poor miserable life!"
"No! Unlike you, I have something to live for! I am not a prostitute, I am a bohemian! We live in our greatest times in life, while you just roll around in your bourgeoisie state of life, living it meaninglessly, of royalty and greed!"
Well, that caught his attention, they both stood silent. Christian bit his lip, controlling his breathing. "Meaningless, is it? And a revolutionary's life isn't meaningless, I assume?"
"Mine has meanings; truth, beauty, freedom, and love. Yours... yours is lies, and repulsive glamour, and confinement, and lust!"
"Christian I can save you, I can take you out of this for good!"
"I am not going to be your little male harlot, if that's what you're saying! You cannot change my life!"
The Duke shook his head at his rambling, "You say you aren't a harlot, but look at yourself. You're pale, thin as a twig, and you say exactly what a harlot would say. But what would you rather be; die loveless here in a poor pathetic place like this or go back, back to your home, back where you can be loved-! "
"I don't want to be loved like that, and I'm not! You can't make me!"
Christian couldn't believe what he was saying. To someone higher in power than him, someone higher in class. Class doesn't matter, something clicked in his head, and what ever it was it was driving him now. Breaking the fantasy truth and into vraie vérité, real truth. That the world isn't as romantic as the pages of a novel, but a mixture of fiction, comedy, drama, and war. The Duke seemed to stand even closer to him and whispered, You don't want me to make you. But if I can, I will."
Christian leaned back away, "I'd rather see you in hell."
"...Hell it is, then." ~
Time is nothing, everything is a blur, life is a blur, and so is reality. You miss your chance, and everything you lived for and wanted to have and earned is washed away. In that little glass of green wormwood, no sugar added. Nothing sweetened, this is life, and this is how it ends, in a simple drop of a glass. And before he knew it, he was in that glass, as he pulled the gun from his pocket and pointed it furiously at him, right at his head. His eyes grew wide, wanting to take back what he said, but it was too late for that now. Too late. He fired.
Bang.
Crash.
The voice...is silent. Nothing heard, nothing thought. The only thing is, who has lived? And who has died?
If I should die this very moment
I wouldn't fear
For I've never known completeness
Like being here
Christian held tightly onto his pale angel's arm, his face blanched and flushed of color. She did the best she could to help him, comfort him, but it would be too late soon.
"Satine! Help me, please oh god... help me! I need you!" Christian begged, looking up that silky white angel above him, his breath heaving.
"I can't do anything, Christian." she answered, disappointed. "I've tried, but they forbid me to do anything of these matters."
"Please... please I need you! You're my guardian angel... please!"
"I can't mess with love relationships,-"
"This isn't...isn't love! It's lust, j-just like you... warned me.", Christian realized; she was right all along.
"You brought this onto yourself, its too deep now."
"Ah... Satine... oh please! Please at least make him stop!", the way he spoke began to be longer, more forced.
"I'm sorry, but I can't do anything! Please hold on!", seemed like she was going to cry, "I know you can do something, I just know it!" Christian stopped short before he could even speak, his eyes blinked shut and his head, pale and flushed, flew backwards, hitting the wall sharply behind him, beginning to shudder. ~
He opened them back slowly, and noticed he was staring at the ceiling, his angel was gone. He slid down, shutting his eyes again, breathless and tired, his head resting in between his knees. He felt the Duke's fingers brush up his body and putting back his hair, making him shiver again, "You were beautiful. Just as I thought you'd be, my precious little harlot."
"I'm not a harlot, I'm not yours, you do not own me...", Christian looked up at him and cautiously stood back up, his lazy jaded eyes looked at him in hidden anger.
"Are you sure about that?-"
"Don't think you can change my mind that easily. I don't care who you are and what your status is, I know you don't love me, you just think I'm some stupid whore you can easily trick into doing anything you want.",Christian spat, putting his hand in his pocket, and quickly taking it out. Don't...
"You really do love living your life like this? Your bohemian age is ending, your own life is ending, nothing lives forever."
"Not everything! Love, love lives forever!"
"Love? You really think that love lives forever? Stupid bohemian." Christian's anger rose, "I am not stupid! It does live forever! You just don't know it because..." breathe in, "because you're a god fore-saken PIMP!", breathe out. Keep control...
The Duke merely stared at this pissed little revolutionary, "You're calling me a pimp when I can't call you a little whore? Your lifestyle is so similar to a prostitute's! You're waiting for the right one to 'fall in love with', just like Satine did to you and I." Christian was furious, but said nothing, as the 'pimp' stood across from him, staring him down. "Exactly; silent. Can't think of much, can you boy? Do you want me to just end it right here and now, so you can go on with your poor miserable life!"
"No! Unlike you, I have something to live for! I am not a prostitute, I am a bohemian! We live in our greatest times in life, while you just roll around in your bourgeoisie state of life, living it meaninglessly, of royalty and greed!"
Well, that caught his attention, they both stood silent. Christian bit his lip, controlling his breathing. "Meaningless, is it? And a revolutionary's life isn't meaningless, I assume?"
"Mine has meanings; truth, beauty, freedom, and love. Yours... yours is lies, and repulsive glamour, and confinement, and lust!"
"Christian I can save you, I can take you out of this for good!"
"I am not going to be your little male harlot, if that's what you're saying! You cannot change my life!"
The Duke shook his head at his rambling, "You say you aren't a harlot, but look at yourself. You're pale, thin as a twig, and you say exactly what a harlot would say. But what would you rather be; die loveless here in a poor pathetic place like this or go back, back to your home, back where you can be loved-! "
"I don't want to be loved like that, and I'm not! You can't make me!"
Christian couldn't believe what he was saying. To someone higher in power than him, someone higher in class. Class doesn't matter, something clicked in his head, and what ever it was it was driving him now. Breaking the fantasy truth and into vraie vérité, real truth. That the world isn't as romantic as the pages of a novel, but a mixture of fiction, comedy, drama, and war. The Duke seemed to stand even closer to him and whispered, You don't want me to make you. But if I can, I will."
Christian leaned back away, "I'd rather see you in hell."
"...Hell it is, then." ~
Time is nothing, everything is a blur, life is a blur, and so is reality. You miss your chance, and everything you lived for and wanted to have and earned is washed away. In that little glass of green wormwood, no sugar added. Nothing sweetened, this is life, and this is how it ends, in a simple drop of a glass. And before he knew it, he was in that glass, as he pulled the gun from his pocket and pointed it furiously at him, right at his head. His eyes grew wide, wanting to take back what he said, but it was too late for that now. Too late. He fired.
Bang.
Crash.
The voice...is silent. Nothing heard, nothing thought. The only thing is, who has lived? And who has died?