A Time of No Rain - a Final Fantasy VIII fanfic
by Erika Riggio [Filia]
Disclaimer: All of the characters of FFVIII belong to Squaresoft/SquareEnix.
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Chapter 2
It was spring, Rinoa Leonhart's favorite time of year. She was sitting in the garden in the back of Rainedrop, the pub that used to belong to Squall's mother, Raine, and of which Rinoa was now the proprietor. She had planted the garden herself after she and Squall had moved here shortly after their marriage ten years ago. It was filled with lilies and roses, Rinoa's favorite flowers, and had a small stone bench under a shady elm tree, with a birdbath situated in eye's view. It was easily Rinoa's favorite place in the entire world; but today, she was not filled with the joy she usually felt when she was here. In fact, she was filled with what could almost be considered a sense of loathing.
Rinoa put on a characteristic scowl, but with more passion than her usual teasing expression. How dare the world still be so gorgeous! It should be fall or winter, dead and desolate, not so alive and green and happy. She wasn't happy, so how could the world go on like this? She slumped over on the bench, looking down at the brown of the wet earth.
How had this happened? Their lives had been so good, so promising. After Ultimecia's defeat, it was as if the entire world had turned over a new leaf. Everything had seemed so happy and carefree. Who cared if she was a sorceress? The thing that had separated her from society suddenly didn't matter; Ultimecia was gone, and the sorceresses of the world were safe again. Edea had moved on and reopened her orphanage with Cid. And, most importantly, Rinoa and Squall were free to get married and live their lives as they pleased.
It had all seemed so perfect. The perfection had lasted so long, she hadn't imagined that it would ever end.
It wasn't as though they hadn't had problems. That would have been saying too much. Try as they might, for example, Rinoa simply couldn't seem to get pregnant. She and Squall wanted a baby with all their hearts, but whatever governed the powers of the world didn't have it in the cards for them. So, Rinoa was forced to live vicariously as the aunt to the two Kinneas girls and Zell and Iris's five children. She didn't mind that, but she had definitely been kept up nights by the worry and regret that plagued her.
One problem replaces another, Rinoa thought bitterly. But this was a much bigger problem.
She thought about the letter she had written to Selphie. Hopefully it had gotten there okay, and hopefully the Kinneases would come and visit soon. That was what she needed -- to see old friends, to play with the girls, to just forget her troubles for a while.
It had happened so quickly. Sometimes Rinoa had to remind herself forcibly that it had really happened at all. One day, everything had been fine. The next, Squall was sick. Incredibly so. Rinoa told him to stay in bed -- very much against Squall's strong will -- and pampered him all she could, not even letting him get up for so much as a meal. She enjoyed getting to baby him for once; Squall, although better than he was when she first met him, was still rather aloof and standoffish most of the time, and generally wouldn't let Rinoa pamper him in any way. But Rinoa also had a strong will, and she wasn't going to back down this time.
She had thought he had the flu. It certainly seemed like it, at first. But time passed, and Squall didn't seem to be getting any better. Rinoa began neglecting the pub, neglecting the housework, neglecting everything but Squall. She got letters from Selphie, but they sat on her writing table, unanswered. All she cared about was Squall, and that he get well.
But he didn't get well. He didn't get worse -- Rinoa's ministrations helped with that -- but he didn't get better. At last Rinoa gave up hope. She had grown up with the mentality of a princess; she could do anything if she put her mind to it. She had even managed to win over Squall, something his comrades thought might never happen. It took a lot to make her give up hope, but she finally did. She loved Squall too much; she didn't want something horrible to happen to him. So she did the very first thing she could think of. She called an airship and had Squall and herself transported to Balamb Garden, where Squall could be treated by the woman who was considered the best new doctor of the post-Sorceress age: Quistis Trepe.
Neither Rinoa nor Squall had seen Quistis since their wedding. It was for good reason. Although Quistis had been offered numerous instructing jobs at all the Gardens around the world after Ultimecia's defeat, her ego was still wounded from her failure at Balamb. So she threw herself into her new passion, the healing arts. In her travels as a member of Squall's team, she had picked up many useful healing skills, and thought that perhaps the trade of a doctor would be better suited to her than the trade of a SeeD instructor. She dived headlong into the Balamb Garden library, studying all the books she could find about medicine and healing, and apprenticed herself under Dr. Kadowaki, the resident doctor at Balamb, who was nearing retirement. Quistis flourished as a doctor, and took over Dr. Kadowaki's position when she stepped down eight years after the defeat of Ultimecia. Dr. Trepe was easily now the most well known doctor in the world, although she did borrow slightly from her fame as being one of the Sorceress Six (as Squall's team was often called in local legend).
Winter was waning on the day the airship took Squall and Rinoa Leonhart from their home in Winhill to the island of Balamb. They hadn't been here in years, either. Ironically, they had planned to spend their tenth wedding anniversary on a vacation to Balamb. Needless to say, this wasn't exactly the vacation they had intended.
The airship ride had been pleasant. It was certainly nice being on an airship that wasn't piloted by Selphie, a hobby that Irvine's wife had, thankfully, given up after she became Headmistress of Trabia Garden. Rinoa still cringed when she thought about some of the narrow escapes they had witnessed in the Ragnarok. Squall spent most of the short trip in the bed in their private room, a courtesy that still amazed him. Being somewhat of a celebrity was rather foreign to Squall, but Rinoa was used to the special treatment. They arrived at the airship station on the plains of Balamb without incident, and made their way via private car to the Garden.
Balamb really hadn't changed much over the years. It was filled with students, as it had become significantly more popular after Ultimecia's defeat. Parts of the structure that had been destroyed in the Garden's infamous take-off had now been rebuilt under Xu, the new Headmistress, and she made sure that the building now remained firmly on the ground. Xu had never been a fan of the flying Garden. Squall and Rinoa donned hats and inconspicuous clothes in an attempt to sneak into the complex unnoticed, but a good portion of the students and instructors they came across still recognized them, some of them staring very unabashedly. Rinoa blushed and Squall cringed as they made their way to the infirmary.
Quistis was sitting at her desk in the front room, poring over some medical reports. At the sound of the door, she looked up, peering over her glasses. Even with the disguises, Quistis recognized her old companions instantly. "Squall? Rinoa? What are you doing here?!" She practically jumped up, straightening her clothes and hair subconsciously in her surprise. She had been up most of the night caring for a student who had been injured in the Training Center, and looked rather unkempt. She hurried over to Rinoa and embraced her in a tight hug. "This is such a surprise! I had no idea you were coming!"
"Neither did I, to tell the truth," Squall said, with a glance at his wife. Rinoa had planned the trip entirely without his knowledge, which irked him to no end. He hated doctors.
Rinoa returned Quistis's hug, shooting a disapproving glare at Squall as she did so. "I wish we could have come in better times, Quistis," Rinoa said regretfully as she released her old friend, biting her lip and looking nervously at Squall.
Quistis looked puzzled. "Better times? Whatever do you mean?" She too looked at Squall, wondering if it would be out of line to give him a hug as well. She decided she had probably better not. She had spent a long time getting over her crush on him; being near him like that would probably be the death of her.
Squall shrugged, leaning against the wall. "Rinoa seems to think I'm sick," he replied matter-of-factly, with another glance at his wife. "I suppose I am, but I don't think it's anything I need to see a doctor for." He practically spat out the word.
Rinoa put her hands on her hips. "You know I wouldn't bring you here if I didn't think it was serious, Squall," she said in a haughty tone. Honestly, why couldn't he just trust her? She looked back at Quistis. "He's been ill for weeks, Quistis. Some days he can't even get out of bed."
"You won't let me get out of bed," Squall practically snapped, although his tone was still simply the irritated one he always seemed to use, no matter what the occasion. He could even sound irritated when he said he loved her, although Rinoa knew he didn't mean it that way. It was just force of habit.
"I don't know what else to do, Quis," Rinoa continued, completely ignoring the fact that Squall had spoken. "Could you take a look at him? A thorough examination. Check everything, I don't want you to miss anything it might be." She looked at her husband, who had the inkling of a betrayed look in his eyes. She smirked at him, in an "I told you so -- don't mess with me" kind of way.
Quistis couldn't help but smile. Their banter, almost childish in a way, had always amused her, even in the early days, when they had traveled together. But despite all that, and perhaps in part because of it, they really did make a fantastic couple. She could hear the concern in Rinoa's voice, however, so she didn't let her smile last long. "I'll do what I can, Rinoa," she said, pushing her glasses up on her nose and straightening her coat in an attempt to look professional. Considering the circles under her eyes and her rather messy hair, it was not entirely successful. She motioned to one of the infirmary's empty rooms, and Squall made his way in very reluctantly. Instantly he noticed that, by some twist of fate, this was the same room he had occupied after his duel with Seifer, the same room where he had first met Ellone again, the same room where his life had changed forever. What change would be in store for him this time?
The guest rooms at Balamb Garden were really quite nice. Rinoa had used them before, the last time she had visited. This time, however, the circumstances seemed even more grave.
She knew she was being silly, thinking that. The fate of the entire world had been at stake 10 years ago; had Ultimecia's plan been successful, her time compression would have destroyed everything the world had ever known. But the problem with Squall was much more intimate, much more immediate. If something happened-- The physical world might have been at stake last time, but this time, it was Rinoa's world. And in true princess mentality, that was much more important. As the stuck-up, material voice in Rinoa's head often said, "To hell with the masses. What about me?"
She hated that voice. She hated being selfish.
It was three in the morning, but Rinoa didn't care. She was wide awake, and had been ever since they had arrived sixteen hours earlier. The bed was still made; not even the bedspread had beed disturbed from the position in which she had found it. She was sitting in the chair next to the small desk in the corner, staring at a sheet of paper, blank except for two words: "Dear Ellone."
It seemed the obvious choice. Ellone Loire was the closest thing that Squall had to family, next to his father, of course. But she couldn't bring herself to write to Laguna; he was so busy with his duties as President of Esthar that she did not think it would be right to bother him with what might be a trivial matter. But Ellone would care. Rinoa was certain of this. Even if it did turn out to be nothing in the end, even if she had to follow it up with another letter two days later saying "Nevermind, it was a mistake, he's just fine now." Ellone would care.
If she was so sure Ellone would care, then why was it so hard to write? Maybe it was because she knew that Ellone would care. She would care a lot, in fact. Knowing her, she might very well get on the next airship from Esthar to Balamb to see if there were anything she could do, any way she could help. That was just the kind of person Ellone was.
Rinoa smiled ruefully. It was amazing how different Ellone was from Squall, despite the fact that they had grown up together. She knew that a lot of the reason that the way Squall had been the way he had been -- and the way he could still be -- was because of the tragic way in which he and Ellone had been separated. Still, it was uncanny how the two seemed to be mirror opposites of one another. It's not as though she were any stranger to that herself; she and her father were nothing alike. She was much more like her mother than her father.
Julia. Rinoa sighed. She didn't like thinking about her mother, even now, so many years after her death. She had been so kind, so talented, so incredible. Rinoa missed her with every fiber of her being. Nothing could fill that hole. She had thought that children might, but she supposed she would never know.
"Stop thinking, Rinoa," she told herself out loud. "You have a letter to write." She pulled herself up in her chair, the picture of princessly poise, and began to write in her steady, flowing script.
Dear Ellone,
It must be a surprise to hear from me after all this time. I don't know if Squall ever writes you, but I tell him to. Therefore, I don't know what you know about our situation now, and where or how I should begin.
How are you? I hope Laguna is well--
She crumpled the paper and threw it in the trash. This wasn't working. She put her elbows on the table and buried her head in her hands. "You're hopeless, Rinoa," she murmured. "A nervous wreck. What on earth are you going to do now?"
So she did the only thing she could think to do. She cried.
It was unusually cold outside for what were supposed to be the early days of spring. Rinoa had ventured outside for the first time since they had arrived nearly two weeks ago, only to find that she should have taken a jacket. She sat on the stone steps at Garden's front gate, knees drawn up to her chest, trying to warm herself in the rays of the feeble sun.
She hadn't heard anything about Squall yet. Every time she asked, Quistis or one of her assistants would say that they didn't know anything yet, but that they were doing more tests. If she pressed them, they would just repeat themselves, like characters in some kind of game that were only able to say the two phrases they were programmed to say. After twelve days of being melancholy alone in her room, she had finally decided that enough was enough, and that she was going to enjoy herself while she was here. Well, as much as she could, anyway.
She had mused about going to visit Zell and Iris and their family, but once she had experienced the unseasonable weather the idea was discarded. Although the walking might have kept her warmer than simply sitting here on the steps, she didn't want to risk it, as the sky was growing strangely dark. The weather would hold for a while, but it looked as if it might be snowing by evening.
Rinoa's ears perked suddenly; she thought she had heard a voice calling her name. She looked around and shrugged. Must have just been her imagination. But then she heard it again. "Mrs. Leonhart?" It was coming from just inside the gate, strangely close. She wondered why she couldn't see the source of the call.
When the person finally came into view, she understood. The boy was unusually short, even for someone of his age; he looked to only be about twelve or thirteen. He had short spiky hair and wore a SeeD student uniform that was entirely too big for him. Rinoa couldn't help but smile. "Yes?" she answered, straightening herself a little.
The boy came up very close to her; he was not at all afraid or intimidated, something that Rinoa rarely came across nowadays. "Dr. Trepe asked me to fetch you, ma'am. She wants to talk about Mr. Leonhart." He nodded, looking as if he almost wanted to hold out his arm to escort her to the infirmary. He was incredibly well mannered; Rinoa was secretly rather impressed.
She got up and straightened her clothes, rumpled from sitting on the steps for so long. "Do you go to school here at Garden?" she asked, trying to make conversation with the boy while they made their way to the infirmary.
The boy nodded, then stopped walking abruptly and held out his hand. "I'm Shiro. Nice to meet you."
Rinoa had to stifle a giggle. Sometimes this was how she imagined a small Squall acting back at the orphanage, before Ellone left. She liked the picture of young Squall introducing himself to others very matter-of-factly, as if knowing him would give you all the answers to all your problems. She took Shiro's hand and squeezed it. "That's a nice name. Shiro."
Shiro positively beamed, as if he were pleased to the core that one of the Sorceress Six had complimented him, but also with the air that it was nothing less than he had expected. The two resumed walking. "I came from Edea's House," he said proudly, not taking his eyes off of Rinoa's face for a second, causing him to almost run into the side of one of turnstiles in the Garden's entryway. "All the best SeeDs come from there. Mr. Leonhart came from Edea's House, didn't he?"
So, this boy came from the same orphanage as Squall, Rinoa mused. In fact, all of the Sorceress Six, other than Rinoa, had come from Edea's House. Any student at Garden who came from there must be filled with pride, she realized, as well as an enormous desire to succeed. It was only a natural reaction when you came from a place connected with the group of people who had saved the world.
Rinoa smiled down at Shiro. "Yes, he did. So did Quistis and Selphie and Irvine and Zell." She didn't know why she was telling him, or even why he had asked in the first place. He obviously knew. But the incredible grin that spread across his face at the confirmation of his former home's glory gave her all the answer she needed.
After a few moments, though, the boy's face dropped. "I'm sorry about Mr. Leonhart," he said quickly to Rinoa, looking up at her without blinking.
Rinoa stopped in her tracks and whirled to face Shiro. "What? What happened? What do you know?" It took all of her will to keep herself from taking the boy by the shoulders and shaking the information out of him.
Shiro blinked and his mouth dropped open. He had obviously said more than he had been told to say. "Um.. nothing! Nothing, Mrs. Leonhart! Nothing at all!" He pulled himself free of her eager, frightening gaze and ran down the hall towards the dormitories as fast as his little legs would carry him.
Rinoa, too, set off in a run. Her first intention was to catch up with Shiro and get the information from him, but common sense told her that it would be better to go to the infirmary and get the information from Quistis herself. She made a sharp left turn and sprinted off.
She arrived in the infirmary in what seemed like seconds and leaned over with her hand propping her up against the wall, panting for breath. Quistis was at her desk, trying to look composed, but she looked up sharply when she heard the door bang as Rinoa entered. "Rinoa! What on earth?" She blinked, then realization crossed her face. "What did Shiro say? I knew I shouldn't have sent him, but there was no one else around, and he's the fastest for delivering messages."
"Wh-what's wrong with Squ-squall?" Rinoa managed to get out between gasps for breath. It had been a long time since she'd had to run anywhere, and she was horribly out of practice.
Quistis looked sad; Rinoa thought she could almost see tears in her eyes, but discarded the idea as a trick of the light or just her imagination. "Sit down, Rinoa," she said kindly, gesturing to the chair on the other side of her desk.
Rinoa pulled herself up from her hunched position against the wall and settled herself into the chair as best she could. Quistis never sounded quite this serious unless something was wrong; moreso, she never sounded quite so kind towards Rinoa unless something were really wrong. Rinoa had a feeling that Quistis had never quite forgiven her for being the girl Squall had fallen in love with, although Quistis was very good at hiding it.
Quistis leaned forward, elbows resting on the desk. She opened her mouth to speak, then closed it again and sighed. "I don't know how to tell you, Rinoa," she said finally, leaning back in the chair and putting a hand to her forehead.
Rinoa jumped up again, hands on hips in her most authoritative stance, the same one she often adopted with Squall. Her voice, however, didn't match her demeanor at all; it sounded very small and pleading, like a child's. "You have to tell me, Quis! Please! I'm begging you! What's wrong with him?"
"He's dying, Rinoa!" Quistis's voice came out tainted with anger and frustration, complete with a dramatic bang of her fist on the table. She caught herself too late, recoiling into her chair, looking as if she wanted to sink into the leather and hide. "He's dying," she repeated in a whisper.
Rinoa suddenly felt very lightheaded and was forced to sit down. But that just made things worse; now she felt as if she was going to throw up. She gathered her legs to her chest, curling into a ball, in utter disbelief of the words she had just heard. "No," she choked out, voice and eyes filling with tears as the full force of the discovery hit her. "No, you're wrong. He can't be."
Quistis was helpless. It was times like this when she hated being a doctor. "I'm sorry," she said lamely, unsure of what to do. This was so different from normal; she could tell parents and friends of students or teachers that their loved ones were going to perish without blinking an eye, but this was so different that it was startling. "I don't know what to say."
Rinoa looked into Quistis's eyes, her face panic-stricken. "What is it?"
Unable to meet Rinoa's eyes, Quistis pretended to consult her notes. "Cancer," she replied quietly. "The same kind that killed Raine. It might have remained benign, but all the stress he put on his body, using the Guardian Forces.." She trailed off, staring at a stray mark on her paper.
Rinoa felt her throat constrict, the tears coming too quickly to hold back. Huge drops rolled down her cheeks, silent and unchecked. "Th-there's nothing you c-can..?"
Biting her lip, Quistis fought back the tears that were gathering in her eyes. "Nothing," she breathed. She got up suddenly, knocking a glass of water off of the desk in her haste. It shattered on the floor in a million pieces. "I'm sorry, please excuse me," she blurted out, practically running down the hall and into the bathroom.
Rinoa had never felt so alone as she had at that moment. She sat in the chair, feeling her stomach churn and her throat tighten, until finally she slumped over onto the desk, having lost consciousness completely.