Thou Shalt Not Say Those Three Little Words
~~~~~~~~
I am having seconds thoughts about having invited Hermione to my quarters tonight. I haven't the vaguest what came over me to think that would be a brilliant idea. Even a halfway decent one. Like I haven't stepped over enough unspoken lines in the last couple of days already. One more really wasn't necessary. Dumbledore will hear about this all soon enough, of that I am certain, and I will be tossed out of here quicker than Potter can catch that bloody golden snitch.
Course, thinking along this line, one more is hardly going to hurt. In for a knut, in for a sickle and all that. May as well have what I want just for once in my miserable existence. Oh, great, now I am getting all melancholy. Perfect. Simply brilliant.
But just to spend one evening with Hermione as a person – not as her Professor. Perhaps I could possibly convince her to like me. Well, I'd settle for tolerate me. Better not set myself impossible goals – not really up for a let down right now.
I have been telling myself all evening that I will not have sex with her. I will not let her think that is all this is about. In no uncertain terms is this to be anything besides a nice dinner and conversation and then back to her dorm for her. Alone.
I've even cleaned up down here – took three cleansing spells just to get rid of the dust – a pathetic testament to just how long it has been since I have had anyone I'd wanted to visit me come around. I considered changing my robes, but after standing in front of my wardrobe for several minutes I decided this was being just a little too desperate (never mind the fact that all my clothes are identical).
There is a soft knock on my door, and glancing around the room in one last panic that I have left something embarrassing lying about. Then assuring myself that my stuffed teddy bear is well out of sight (my mother insists I keep it as a souvenir of my childhood – course when there is no one else to talk to Muffy does the job - tell anyone and your life shall not be worth living!), I open the door.
She is utterly stunning. She has changed out of her school clothes (thank Merlin for that!) and is wearing a long, tastefully cut black dress. Strange, never really considered this would be a flattering colour for her, but it most definitely is. Hermione's bushy hair is piled upon her head elegantly and she looks quite womanly. Frankly, if I'd met her right now I would never have guessed she was still in school.
"Hermione, do come in," I say as calmly as I can muster. She smiles at me! Then she slips inside and I quickly close the door behind her. She looks nervously around my quarters, and then appears to relax a little.
"Good evening, Severus," Hermione says gently. I think for once that I am glad my mother gave me that name.
"Do take a seat," I say, pulling one out from the table for her. She sits down very properly. I don't like it. This isn't Hermione. This is her trying to impress me and honestly I just want her.
Dinner starts out strained. The conversation is light, meaningless. Quidditch, books, at least we don't stoop as low as talking about the weather. Time to find out a little more about her.
"So," I ask, pushing my food around my plate. I'm too nervous to eat. "What do you plan on studying at University?"
She looks up at me in surprise. "Um, I'm not really sure yet."
"Now, come on. With a mind like yours you could do anything you desired," I insist, and I mean every word. I would hate to see her waste her talents.
"Flattery will get you everywhere, Severus," she replies cheekily.
I smirk back at her. At least I hope it's a smirk. Been too long since I've done that without having a sarcastic undertone. Oh well, she's smiling back – can't have been too bad.
"A year ago I would've said I wanted to be an Auror, but now with Voldemort gone…" She suddenly stops short and her eyes shoot up to look at mine in horror. "Oh, Severus, I am sorry…"
"What on earth for?" I ask, genuinely confused.
"For bringing that up, I am sure you have had quite enough of … that name."
"Indeed I have, Hermione, but I have not had nearly enough of you."
Wow, appears I have said the right thing for once. She is smiling at me in a way that I usually see couples doing with each other – the kind of looks that usually make me want to vomit, or curse them to oblivion. But this is different – she is giving me that look!
She has risen from her seat and is walking towards me. Somehow she manages to slip between me and the table and climb into my lap. Hermione buries her fingers in my hair and looking straight into my eyes. She whispers "I love you, Severus."
Holy crap. She what's me? No, this is all wrong! Very, very wrong! I stand up in panic and Hermione slips unceremoniously to the floor landing with a nasty thud. I should help her up but I am in too much of a state. I begin pacing the room.
"Severus?" she says in a quiet, hurt voice.
"You cannot love me!" I snap at her. "I forbid it!"
Hermione pulls herself to her feet. "You forbid it?" Her voice is angry and she is glaring at me.
"Yes, I forbid it! Hermione, this is all wrong!"
I know I am rambling. Thing is I want her to love me, but she shouldn't. I am completely unworthy of her and she could do so much better than a greasy old git like me and…
"You can't forbid me from loving you!" she yells at me. "However, it is quite clear that you do not return my feelings and that I am making a complete fool of myself here!" She is stomping towards the door. I have to do something. I can't just let her go…
"Hermione! Wait!" She stops to look back at me. Now I have to say something. "I…I think I love you too."
Merlin, she pounces on me and I find myself pinned to the couch, her mouth on mine kissing me like there is no tomorrow. Actually, if Dumbledore catches word of this there quite possibly won't be – at least not for me. Fuck it. I plunge my tongue into her mouth giving her the best I've got.
My hands come to rest on her hips, stroking small circles through her dress. I could get lost here. Dumbledore could walk in right now and I wouldn't even notice. She tastes so sweet and she kisses like a demon.
I feel her slender fingers playing with the buttons of my shirt, then they slide up under the material and begin running over my skin sending waves of desire through me, settling in the front of my pants. I will not have sex with her. I will not have sex with her. I will not…
Hermione bucks against me and moans. Oh, such a sweet sound! I growl involuntarily. Merlin, I am so hard now it wouldn't take much to…
Hermione bucks again. I jerk away from her and clamp my hands around her hips to hold her still.
"No, Hermione," I manage to gasp. "Not tonight."
She gives me a questioning look. Gods, girl, don't do that. Please don't.
"And why on earth not? You appear perfectly able," she purrs, one hand dropping to the buttons on my pants.
"Hermione!" I gasp. "I just…no. Tonight was supposed to be a polite dinner. It was supposed to be a nice, normal," I cringe at this word, "date."
Hermione chuckles, but slips off my lap to sit next to me. "Okay." Yet her laugh continues.
"What is so bloody funny?" I snap.
"Well, it's just that I'd never had thought the first man to turn me down would be you," she laughs out loud.
"I am not turning you down," I growl. "I am merely asking for a raincheck."
"How about tomorrow morning then?" Hermione asks, giving me a sideways glance that I can't quite read.
"I have class tomorrow morning as do you."
"Ah, but that isn't until nine."
"What precisely are you saying?" I ask, turning to give her a questioning look.
"Can I stay the night?"
Well, well, who would've thought that Hermione could be so forward? I kind of like it. And my, the prospect of falling asleep next to her, waking up with her…
"I suppose that would be all right." Biggest understatement ever made – even by a Slytherin such as me.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you to….
LM-Pretty-Enough – Thanks!
Mooncroww – Cheers!
Anaranne Anwamane –So glad you're enjoying it!
Piggie – Mm, yeah, I can't really see a canon Albus ever condoning Snape having a relationship with any student, let alone Hermione! Thanks!
Someone28 – Thanks!
Jennifer13 – Ah, you'll have to see where Lupin comes in…
DarkGoddess – Thank you!
RebelRikki – Rules were made to be broken, after all! Thank you!
AnnabelleElizabeth – Thanks!
SpriteJessa – Cheers! SS/HG parting? Well, it's all part of Andrian's challenge (see chap two for details…)
Right, decided to post two chapters in one hit, so please proceed in an orderly fashion to the next instalment…
~~~~~~~~
I am having seconds thoughts about having invited Hermione to my quarters tonight. I haven't the vaguest what came over me to think that would be a brilliant idea. Even a halfway decent one. Like I haven't stepped over enough unspoken lines in the last couple of days already. One more really wasn't necessary. Dumbledore will hear about this all soon enough, of that I am certain, and I will be tossed out of here quicker than Potter can catch that bloody golden snitch.
Course, thinking along this line, one more is hardly going to hurt. In for a knut, in for a sickle and all that. May as well have what I want just for once in my miserable existence. Oh, great, now I am getting all melancholy. Perfect. Simply brilliant.
But just to spend one evening with Hermione as a person – not as her Professor. Perhaps I could possibly convince her to like me. Well, I'd settle for tolerate me. Better not set myself impossible goals – not really up for a let down right now.
I have been telling myself all evening that I will not have sex with her. I will not let her think that is all this is about. In no uncertain terms is this to be anything besides a nice dinner and conversation and then back to her dorm for her. Alone.
I've even cleaned up down here – took three cleansing spells just to get rid of the dust – a pathetic testament to just how long it has been since I have had anyone I'd wanted to visit me come around. I considered changing my robes, but after standing in front of my wardrobe for several minutes I decided this was being just a little too desperate (never mind the fact that all my clothes are identical).
There is a soft knock on my door, and glancing around the room in one last panic that I have left something embarrassing lying about. Then assuring myself that my stuffed teddy bear is well out of sight (my mother insists I keep it as a souvenir of my childhood – course when there is no one else to talk to Muffy does the job - tell anyone and your life shall not be worth living!), I open the door.
She is utterly stunning. She has changed out of her school clothes (thank Merlin for that!) and is wearing a long, tastefully cut black dress. Strange, never really considered this would be a flattering colour for her, but it most definitely is. Hermione's bushy hair is piled upon her head elegantly and she looks quite womanly. Frankly, if I'd met her right now I would never have guessed she was still in school.
"Hermione, do come in," I say as calmly as I can muster. She smiles at me! Then she slips inside and I quickly close the door behind her. She looks nervously around my quarters, and then appears to relax a little.
"Good evening, Severus," Hermione says gently. I think for once that I am glad my mother gave me that name.
"Do take a seat," I say, pulling one out from the table for her. She sits down very properly. I don't like it. This isn't Hermione. This is her trying to impress me and honestly I just want her.
Dinner starts out strained. The conversation is light, meaningless. Quidditch, books, at least we don't stoop as low as talking about the weather. Time to find out a little more about her.
"So," I ask, pushing my food around my plate. I'm too nervous to eat. "What do you plan on studying at University?"
She looks up at me in surprise. "Um, I'm not really sure yet."
"Now, come on. With a mind like yours you could do anything you desired," I insist, and I mean every word. I would hate to see her waste her talents.
"Flattery will get you everywhere, Severus," she replies cheekily.
I smirk back at her. At least I hope it's a smirk. Been too long since I've done that without having a sarcastic undertone. Oh well, she's smiling back – can't have been too bad.
"A year ago I would've said I wanted to be an Auror, but now with Voldemort gone…" She suddenly stops short and her eyes shoot up to look at mine in horror. "Oh, Severus, I am sorry…"
"What on earth for?" I ask, genuinely confused.
"For bringing that up, I am sure you have had quite enough of … that name."
"Indeed I have, Hermione, but I have not had nearly enough of you."
Wow, appears I have said the right thing for once. She is smiling at me in a way that I usually see couples doing with each other – the kind of looks that usually make me want to vomit, or curse them to oblivion. But this is different – she is giving me that look!
She has risen from her seat and is walking towards me. Somehow she manages to slip between me and the table and climb into my lap. Hermione buries her fingers in my hair and looking straight into my eyes. She whispers "I love you, Severus."
Holy crap. She what's me? No, this is all wrong! Very, very wrong! I stand up in panic and Hermione slips unceremoniously to the floor landing with a nasty thud. I should help her up but I am in too much of a state. I begin pacing the room.
"Severus?" she says in a quiet, hurt voice.
"You cannot love me!" I snap at her. "I forbid it!"
Hermione pulls herself to her feet. "You forbid it?" Her voice is angry and she is glaring at me.
"Yes, I forbid it! Hermione, this is all wrong!"
I know I am rambling. Thing is I want her to love me, but she shouldn't. I am completely unworthy of her and she could do so much better than a greasy old git like me and…
"You can't forbid me from loving you!" she yells at me. "However, it is quite clear that you do not return my feelings and that I am making a complete fool of myself here!" She is stomping towards the door. I have to do something. I can't just let her go…
"Hermione! Wait!" She stops to look back at me. Now I have to say something. "I…I think I love you too."
Merlin, she pounces on me and I find myself pinned to the couch, her mouth on mine kissing me like there is no tomorrow. Actually, if Dumbledore catches word of this there quite possibly won't be – at least not for me. Fuck it. I plunge my tongue into her mouth giving her the best I've got.
My hands come to rest on her hips, stroking small circles through her dress. I could get lost here. Dumbledore could walk in right now and I wouldn't even notice. She tastes so sweet and she kisses like a demon.
I feel her slender fingers playing with the buttons of my shirt, then they slide up under the material and begin running over my skin sending waves of desire through me, settling in the front of my pants. I will not have sex with her. I will not have sex with her. I will not…
Hermione bucks against me and moans. Oh, such a sweet sound! I growl involuntarily. Merlin, I am so hard now it wouldn't take much to…
Hermione bucks again. I jerk away from her and clamp my hands around her hips to hold her still.
"No, Hermione," I manage to gasp. "Not tonight."
She gives me a questioning look. Gods, girl, don't do that. Please don't.
"And why on earth not? You appear perfectly able," she purrs, one hand dropping to the buttons on my pants.
"Hermione!" I gasp. "I just…no. Tonight was supposed to be a polite dinner. It was supposed to be a nice, normal," I cringe at this word, "date."
Hermione chuckles, but slips off my lap to sit next to me. "Okay." Yet her laugh continues.
"What is so bloody funny?" I snap.
"Well, it's just that I'd never had thought the first man to turn me down would be you," she laughs out loud.
"I am not turning you down," I growl. "I am merely asking for a raincheck."
"How about tomorrow morning then?" Hermione asks, giving me a sideways glance that I can't quite read.
"I have class tomorrow morning as do you."
"Ah, but that isn't until nine."
"What precisely are you saying?" I ask, turning to give her a questioning look.
"Can I stay the night?"
Well, well, who would've thought that Hermione could be so forward? I kind of like it. And my, the prospect of falling asleep next to her, waking up with her…
"I suppose that would be all right." Biggest understatement ever made – even by a Slytherin such as me.
Thank you, Thank you, Thank you to….
LM-Pretty-Enough – Thanks!
Mooncroww – Cheers!
Anaranne Anwamane –So glad you're enjoying it!
Piggie – Mm, yeah, I can't really see a canon Albus ever condoning Snape having a relationship with any student, let alone Hermione! Thanks!
Someone28 – Thanks!
Jennifer13 – Ah, you'll have to see where Lupin comes in…
DarkGoddess – Thank you!
RebelRikki – Rules were made to be broken, after all! Thank you!
AnnabelleElizabeth – Thanks!
SpriteJessa – Cheers! SS/HG parting? Well, it's all part of Andrian's challenge (see chap two for details…)
Right, decided to post two chapters in one hit, so please proceed in an orderly fashion to the next instalment…