The Fab 5 and their crew were rendered speechless by their first sight of
Hogwarts in all its splendor. That speechlessness lasted about three
seconds. Although Thom settled for emitting a series of delighted
monosyllables, the others were far more verbose.
"That's a SCHOOL?" Kyan gasped.
"School, schmool," gushed Carson. "That castle looks straight out of Disneyland!"
Ted's observations were a little more down to Earth. "Can you imagine the kitchen that place must have? And the wine cellar must be out of this world!"
Jai ran a hand in front of Thom's eyes, attempting to bring him back to reality.
Snape watched their display in amusement for a few moments, then broke the mood. "If you are all done gaping, we might proceed to lunch. This way."
Snape strode purposefully through the gates and around towards the entrance to the castle. Hagrid kept to the rear, encouraging the gawking stragglers to keep the pace, reminding them "there'll be plen'y eh time fer lookin' about the place later" much in the same way he handled the new first years each fall as they emerged from the Hogwarts Express. Snape navigated the corridors, ignoring the bewildered looks of the students they passed as they traveled up the stairs to the Great Hall.
"Now sirs, might I remind you that this is a school, and proper behavior will be expected from each of you whenever students are present. We have prepared a table for your. . . group. . . and would please ask that should you need to leave the table, you ask myself or Hagrid to accompany you. Hogwarts is a very . . . large school, and we would hate for any of you to become lost. Or worse." As Snape finished his lecture, he noticed the Americans eying him oddly, as if surprised by his manner, though they nodded their acceptance.
"Whatever you say, Mr. Snape, excuse me, Professor Snape." Jai responded tactfully, but after Snape turned to enter the Great Hall he shot his cohorts a rebellious look. They followed Snape into the hall, eagerly awaiting sight of more of the fabulous school.
It was a total secret that Snape and Hagrid had left to collect some American muggles, so naturally the whole school knew about it. Our famous trio in particular made sure to arrive at lunch especially early to catch the first glimpse of the Fab 5 live and in person, as did many of the other students.
The Fab 5's first glimpse of the Great Hall was accompanied by gasps of delight all around. (Though Professor Dumbledore had shown the foresight to redirect the House Ghosts' presence elsewhere for the duration of the meal, the sight was still a wonder to behold.) Four long rows of tables held scores of students uniformly dressed in black robes, but segregated by the colors in their ties. At the front of the room elevated on a dias was the faculty table, and a more unusual assortment of teachers the Five had never seen. Professor Snape and Hagrid were not the only odd ones in this bunch; a skeletal woman with very large glasses in a gauzy shawl caught their attention, as did a jolly looking and very elderly dwarf.
"Good heavens, it's Merlin himself!" Carson whispered loudly to one of his companions. Professor Dumbledore was standing at his place in the center of the faculty table and preparing to welcome the visitors. Unfortunately for Carson, his age did not curse him with poor hearing.
"Actually, Merlin's great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-" Dumbledore paused for a breath "great-great-grandnephew. But thank you anyway!"
"The students and faculty of Hogwarts would like to welcome some special guests from America this afternoon," the headmaster continued regally. "Professor Snape will be assisting them with a special project and they shall be staying with us for the next two days. Please make our visitors welcome and try to avoid bombarding them with unnecessary questions. Rest assured that if any student efforts are necessary to complete the project, the student in question will be notified immediately. Gentlemen, welcome to Hogwarts!"
Applause filled the room, as did some frantic whispering originating from the few muggle-born students who recognized the visitors. Only the members of Slytherin house failed to applaud, instead bestowing upon the visitors the honor of their disdainful glares.
"What's with the runts at that table?" Carson nodded toward the Slytherin table. "They look like we've stolen their girlfriends or something."
Ted snickered, "Or boyfriends, don't you mean? If that silver-haired one isn't playing for our team I'll drink a six-pack of Coors on the flight home."
"Blech!" Carson responded with the universal gagging motion, sticking a finger down his throat.
"They are just so adorable," cooed Jai. "Look at those sweet little faces poking out of their black robes. I don't remember kids looking so cute when I was in school."
"Who picked out their colors, though? The ones at that table look like bumblebees, and whoever thought scarlet and gold went well together must have been color blind." Although Carson was technically the clothes horse, Thom's eye for interior design was still offended by the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff house colors.
"The blue ones aren't so bad, Thom." Kyan rationalized. "Neither are the green ones, except for their weasely expressions of course."
Then the food began to arrive. Several very young students entered from the back doors, each bearing a tray overloaded with tasty treats and looking very put upon.
"House elves on strike?" One of the third-year Slytherin students asked of a server.
"No, silly, we can't exactly serve food the normal way with muggles here, now can we? Have no fear, it will be your turn at dinner," she responded sardonically.
Ted overheard this exchange, but failed to understand the point of it. He made a mental note to himself to ask Jai later if he was familiar with the term "muggle", then promptly forgot it as he tasted the first heavenly bite of Hogwart's cuisine. "This is amazing," he exclaimed. "I must speak to their cook!"
For once the Fab Five was quiet, as they enjoyed their amazing meal. From his seat at the end of the faculty table Severus Snape watched them overindulge in their smorgasbord, pondering what horrors they had in store for him once the meal was over.
*********************************************************************
"I'm absolutely STUFFED!" moaned Kyan. "I just could not get enough of that plum pudding."
"Do we have to work this afternoon? Right now I totally need a nap!" Thom yawned.
"Or pants with an elastic waistband! I wish they'd warned us, I would have dressed for the occasion," whined Carson as he unbuttoned the top button of his jeans. "Do not tell anybody I just did that."
Ted looked at his compatriots, shaking his head, "Excellent as the food was, there was no reason to make gourmands of thyselves. It's time to brave Severus' living quarters, so no naps for you!" He stood and motioned delicately towards Severus, who was scowling at the woman next to him at the table. He wondered if their host had noticed him, and if he should call out, but then Severus rose and came toward their table.
"What a lovely meal, Severus, please be sure to present our compliments to the chef. But now we're all anxious to get started!" The others nodded. "Time for you to introduce us to your living quarters!"
Why was Severus grimacing so, wondered Ted. One might think he wasn't enjoying this very much.
**********************************************************************
Snape sighed, he was best off getting this whole thing over with. "Very well, follow me. And don't lag behind."
He led them quickly through the halls, hoping their speed would prevent the muggles from thinking too carefully about the oddities on the walls (or from noticing that the pictures were watching them pass!) Luckily, the Americans were all in good physical shape and seemed to keep the pace easily. The little one kept attempting to engage him in conversation.
"How long have you been teaching here, Severus?"
Snape did some quick mental arithmetic. "Seventeen years."
"Wow, that's a long time!" There was a moment of silence, quickly interrupted. "So what made you decide to become a teacher?"
"Teaching was preferable to prison. Or so I thought at the time." Snape hoped this response would discourage further questioning. No such luck.
Jai laughed heartily, "That's hilarious."
Why did these people insist on thinking he was joking with them? Oh no, now the others were joining the interrogation. Are all Americans this incapable of silence?
"So, Severus, what made you decide on chemistry? It's a pretty intense subject, after all." This from Carson the Loud.
Snape let his annoyance shine through, "The subject is called potions. And I enjoy it because it is a delicately precise art, not to mention a solitary one."
"Control freak. . . confuses science and art. . .likes solitude. . ." Merlin's teeth, was Thom taking notes? He hated it when his students did that, but he hated this even more. Severus didn't bother trying to keep from stomping his feet as he led them down the stairs to the dungeon that housed his living quarters.
"We are going to your quarters, right?" Ted tentatively asked as they walked through the dimly lit, dank dungeon corridor. "Not the medieval torture chamber?"
"Of course," answered Severus smugly. "I prefer to live in the quiet of the dungeon. And here we are." He stopped in front of a large wooden door, then cursed inwardly. He'd forgotten to leave the door unwarded when he left. He'd need to use his wand to open it, but he couldn't exactly whip it out in front of a pack of muggles. He stood for a moment, trying to figure out a way out of this mess when he heard a young voice call out from up the corridor.
"Professor Snape!" He turned to find Miss Hermione "Bossy-Boots" Granger scurrying toward him. "Sorry to bother you, Professor. Professor Dumbledore sent me to show your guests to their rooms, he thought it might be best to get them settled in before you start your project."
She was looking innocently up at him. Too innocently. "Why you, Miss Granger?" Snape failed to notice a shared look between the Americans at the sound of her name as he stared suspiciously at her.
"I am the head girl, Professor. And I probably know a bit more about. . . where our guests come from than most of the other students." Ah yes, Miss Granger was a muggle-born. And deliberately or not, she'd provided a solution to his dilemma.
"Very well, Miss Granger. Please escort our guests to their rooms and then back here. I'll expect your return in one half hour. Gentlemen, please accompany Miss Granger." Five shining faces smiled prettily back at him. These men were bizarre.
"Okay! See you soon, Severus. Huggles!" Ick! That awful man was hugging him! Snape stood stiff with shock, and then the hug was over and the five followed Miss Granger back down the hall.
Once he was sure they were gone, Snape pulled his wand out of his robes, released the wards and entered his quarters. He made straight for the bottle of scotch whiskey that rested innocently next to a stack of clean glasses. Ignoring the glasses, he removed the cork and took a swig straight from the bottle. He had one half hour to himself, then the muggles would invade his home.
"That's a SCHOOL?" Kyan gasped.
"School, schmool," gushed Carson. "That castle looks straight out of Disneyland!"
Ted's observations were a little more down to Earth. "Can you imagine the kitchen that place must have? And the wine cellar must be out of this world!"
Jai ran a hand in front of Thom's eyes, attempting to bring him back to reality.
Snape watched their display in amusement for a few moments, then broke the mood. "If you are all done gaping, we might proceed to lunch. This way."
Snape strode purposefully through the gates and around towards the entrance to the castle. Hagrid kept to the rear, encouraging the gawking stragglers to keep the pace, reminding them "there'll be plen'y eh time fer lookin' about the place later" much in the same way he handled the new first years each fall as they emerged from the Hogwarts Express. Snape navigated the corridors, ignoring the bewildered looks of the students they passed as they traveled up the stairs to the Great Hall.
"Now sirs, might I remind you that this is a school, and proper behavior will be expected from each of you whenever students are present. We have prepared a table for your. . . group. . . and would please ask that should you need to leave the table, you ask myself or Hagrid to accompany you. Hogwarts is a very . . . large school, and we would hate for any of you to become lost. Or worse." As Snape finished his lecture, he noticed the Americans eying him oddly, as if surprised by his manner, though they nodded their acceptance.
"Whatever you say, Mr. Snape, excuse me, Professor Snape." Jai responded tactfully, but after Snape turned to enter the Great Hall he shot his cohorts a rebellious look. They followed Snape into the hall, eagerly awaiting sight of more of the fabulous school.
It was a total secret that Snape and Hagrid had left to collect some American muggles, so naturally the whole school knew about it. Our famous trio in particular made sure to arrive at lunch especially early to catch the first glimpse of the Fab 5 live and in person, as did many of the other students.
The Fab 5's first glimpse of the Great Hall was accompanied by gasps of delight all around. (Though Professor Dumbledore had shown the foresight to redirect the House Ghosts' presence elsewhere for the duration of the meal, the sight was still a wonder to behold.) Four long rows of tables held scores of students uniformly dressed in black robes, but segregated by the colors in their ties. At the front of the room elevated on a dias was the faculty table, and a more unusual assortment of teachers the Five had never seen. Professor Snape and Hagrid were not the only odd ones in this bunch; a skeletal woman with very large glasses in a gauzy shawl caught their attention, as did a jolly looking and very elderly dwarf.
"Good heavens, it's Merlin himself!" Carson whispered loudly to one of his companions. Professor Dumbledore was standing at his place in the center of the faculty table and preparing to welcome the visitors. Unfortunately for Carson, his age did not curse him with poor hearing.
"Actually, Merlin's great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-" Dumbledore paused for a breath "great-great-grandnephew. But thank you anyway!"
"The students and faculty of Hogwarts would like to welcome some special guests from America this afternoon," the headmaster continued regally. "Professor Snape will be assisting them with a special project and they shall be staying with us for the next two days. Please make our visitors welcome and try to avoid bombarding them with unnecessary questions. Rest assured that if any student efforts are necessary to complete the project, the student in question will be notified immediately. Gentlemen, welcome to Hogwarts!"
Applause filled the room, as did some frantic whispering originating from the few muggle-born students who recognized the visitors. Only the members of Slytherin house failed to applaud, instead bestowing upon the visitors the honor of their disdainful glares.
"What's with the runts at that table?" Carson nodded toward the Slytherin table. "They look like we've stolen their girlfriends or something."
Ted snickered, "Or boyfriends, don't you mean? If that silver-haired one isn't playing for our team I'll drink a six-pack of Coors on the flight home."
"Blech!" Carson responded with the universal gagging motion, sticking a finger down his throat.
"They are just so adorable," cooed Jai. "Look at those sweet little faces poking out of their black robes. I don't remember kids looking so cute when I was in school."
"Who picked out their colors, though? The ones at that table look like bumblebees, and whoever thought scarlet and gold went well together must have been color blind." Although Carson was technically the clothes horse, Thom's eye for interior design was still offended by the Gryffindor and Hufflepuff house colors.
"The blue ones aren't so bad, Thom." Kyan rationalized. "Neither are the green ones, except for their weasely expressions of course."
Then the food began to arrive. Several very young students entered from the back doors, each bearing a tray overloaded with tasty treats and looking very put upon.
"House elves on strike?" One of the third-year Slytherin students asked of a server.
"No, silly, we can't exactly serve food the normal way with muggles here, now can we? Have no fear, it will be your turn at dinner," she responded sardonically.
Ted overheard this exchange, but failed to understand the point of it. He made a mental note to himself to ask Jai later if he was familiar with the term "muggle", then promptly forgot it as he tasted the first heavenly bite of Hogwart's cuisine. "This is amazing," he exclaimed. "I must speak to their cook!"
For once the Fab Five was quiet, as they enjoyed their amazing meal. From his seat at the end of the faculty table Severus Snape watched them overindulge in their smorgasbord, pondering what horrors they had in store for him once the meal was over.
*********************************************************************
"I'm absolutely STUFFED!" moaned Kyan. "I just could not get enough of that plum pudding."
"Do we have to work this afternoon? Right now I totally need a nap!" Thom yawned.
"Or pants with an elastic waistband! I wish they'd warned us, I would have dressed for the occasion," whined Carson as he unbuttoned the top button of his jeans. "Do not tell anybody I just did that."
Ted looked at his compatriots, shaking his head, "Excellent as the food was, there was no reason to make gourmands of thyselves. It's time to brave Severus' living quarters, so no naps for you!" He stood and motioned delicately towards Severus, who was scowling at the woman next to him at the table. He wondered if their host had noticed him, and if he should call out, but then Severus rose and came toward their table.
"What a lovely meal, Severus, please be sure to present our compliments to the chef. But now we're all anxious to get started!" The others nodded. "Time for you to introduce us to your living quarters!"
Why was Severus grimacing so, wondered Ted. One might think he wasn't enjoying this very much.
**********************************************************************
Snape sighed, he was best off getting this whole thing over with. "Very well, follow me. And don't lag behind."
He led them quickly through the halls, hoping their speed would prevent the muggles from thinking too carefully about the oddities on the walls (or from noticing that the pictures were watching them pass!) Luckily, the Americans were all in good physical shape and seemed to keep the pace easily. The little one kept attempting to engage him in conversation.
"How long have you been teaching here, Severus?"
Snape did some quick mental arithmetic. "Seventeen years."
"Wow, that's a long time!" There was a moment of silence, quickly interrupted. "So what made you decide to become a teacher?"
"Teaching was preferable to prison. Or so I thought at the time." Snape hoped this response would discourage further questioning. No such luck.
Jai laughed heartily, "That's hilarious."
Why did these people insist on thinking he was joking with them? Oh no, now the others were joining the interrogation. Are all Americans this incapable of silence?
"So, Severus, what made you decide on chemistry? It's a pretty intense subject, after all." This from Carson the Loud.
Snape let his annoyance shine through, "The subject is called potions. And I enjoy it because it is a delicately precise art, not to mention a solitary one."
"Control freak. . . confuses science and art. . .likes solitude. . ." Merlin's teeth, was Thom taking notes? He hated it when his students did that, but he hated this even more. Severus didn't bother trying to keep from stomping his feet as he led them down the stairs to the dungeon that housed his living quarters.
"We are going to your quarters, right?" Ted tentatively asked as they walked through the dimly lit, dank dungeon corridor. "Not the medieval torture chamber?"
"Of course," answered Severus smugly. "I prefer to live in the quiet of the dungeon. And here we are." He stopped in front of a large wooden door, then cursed inwardly. He'd forgotten to leave the door unwarded when he left. He'd need to use his wand to open it, but he couldn't exactly whip it out in front of a pack of muggles. He stood for a moment, trying to figure out a way out of this mess when he heard a young voice call out from up the corridor.
"Professor Snape!" He turned to find Miss Hermione "Bossy-Boots" Granger scurrying toward him. "Sorry to bother you, Professor. Professor Dumbledore sent me to show your guests to their rooms, he thought it might be best to get them settled in before you start your project."
She was looking innocently up at him. Too innocently. "Why you, Miss Granger?" Snape failed to notice a shared look between the Americans at the sound of her name as he stared suspiciously at her.
"I am the head girl, Professor. And I probably know a bit more about. . . where our guests come from than most of the other students." Ah yes, Miss Granger was a muggle-born. And deliberately or not, she'd provided a solution to his dilemma.
"Very well, Miss Granger. Please escort our guests to their rooms and then back here. I'll expect your return in one half hour. Gentlemen, please accompany Miss Granger." Five shining faces smiled prettily back at him. These men were bizarre.
"Okay! See you soon, Severus. Huggles!" Ick! That awful man was hugging him! Snape stood stiff with shock, and then the hug was over and the five followed Miss Granger back down the hall.
Once he was sure they were gone, Snape pulled his wand out of his robes, released the wards and entered his quarters. He made straight for the bottle of scotch whiskey that rested innocently next to a stack of clean glasses. Ignoring the glasses, he removed the cork and took a swig straight from the bottle. He had one half hour to himself, then the muggles would invade his home.