"I want to stay as Padfoot forever." Sirius said flopping into an armchair
in the deserted Gryffindor common room. The two boys were the only
Gryffindors to stay over the holidays.
"Well I wish I never had to be Moony." Remus commented as he lowered himself carefully onto the couch. The full moon had been the night before and Madame Pomfrey had only just released him from the hospital wing after mending all his hurts that morning.
"We could run wild forever." Sirius said dreamily still lost in his Padfoot-fantasy.
"Not forever." Remus replied grumpily.
Sirius noticed the sharpness in his friend's voice looked over that him, concern evident in his blue eyes.
"Remus?" Sirius asked carefully, not knowing what to say.
Remus looked up briefly, hie eyes overly bright, before looking that the foot of the couch where he now lay.
"For you and James and Peter, being animals is fun. For me it's a death sentence." Remus said bitterly. Sirius didn't answer, knowing not what to say.
"I'll be dead before I'm 40." Remus continued. "My body will just collapse one night during the moon when it all gets too much." Remus's voice dropped away.
Sirius sprung to his feet and walked over to the couch where Remus lay. Kneeling down beside the boy, Sirius spoke softly to him. "Please don't speak like that."
"What not?" Remus snapped. "It's the truth." Remus closed his eyes so that he wouldn't have to look at Sirius.
"You never know. Maybe a cure will be found." Sirius said hopefully.
"There won't be." Remus replied.
How do you know? You can't tell the future." Sirius told him.
"Even is a cure is found it won't be any good for me." Remus said.
"Why's that?" Sirius asked.
"My body has reached maturity, meaning that the virus is well and truly in me. My blood work has been changed. And my organs are already damaged, they are beyond repair. The strains of transformations that I've already had are enough to kill someone. In time, it will be the death of me when my body just can't work anymore."
"Oh Remus." Sirius whispered.
"I don't want your pity. I don't want you to feel sorry for me." Remus snapped open his eyes and Sirius could see the fire glittering in them. "I've known my fate for a long time. You just have to accept it."
"Have you accepted it?" Sirius asked softly.
"I have no choice." Remus replied. "I know what I am going to do what the time comes."
"What you are going to do." Sirius echoed. "You can't mean.?"
Remus nodded slightly.
"But Remus!" Sirius protested.
"Don't fuss. It won't be for a while yet." Remus said.
"But would you really be able to do it?" Sirius asked.
"It's better than collapsing in agony during the moon. Not knowing of you're going he man, beast or both." Remus replied bluntly.
"I guess so." Sirius said seeing the big picture. "But please promise me something."
"What's that?"
"Let me be there with you." Sirius said. "You don't have to go through your pain alone. Not anymore."
"We'll see." Remus closed his eyes once again. Sirius could bee by the relaxing of his features that his friend was dropping off into a much- needed sleep.
Watching over his friend Sirius leaned close and whispered. "You'll not be alone anymore."
"Well I wish I never had to be Moony." Remus commented as he lowered himself carefully onto the couch. The full moon had been the night before and Madame Pomfrey had only just released him from the hospital wing after mending all his hurts that morning.
"We could run wild forever." Sirius said dreamily still lost in his Padfoot-fantasy.
"Not forever." Remus replied grumpily.
Sirius noticed the sharpness in his friend's voice looked over that him, concern evident in his blue eyes.
"Remus?" Sirius asked carefully, not knowing what to say.
Remus looked up briefly, hie eyes overly bright, before looking that the foot of the couch where he now lay.
"For you and James and Peter, being animals is fun. For me it's a death sentence." Remus said bitterly. Sirius didn't answer, knowing not what to say.
"I'll be dead before I'm 40." Remus continued. "My body will just collapse one night during the moon when it all gets too much." Remus's voice dropped away.
Sirius sprung to his feet and walked over to the couch where Remus lay. Kneeling down beside the boy, Sirius spoke softly to him. "Please don't speak like that."
"What not?" Remus snapped. "It's the truth." Remus closed his eyes so that he wouldn't have to look at Sirius.
"You never know. Maybe a cure will be found." Sirius said hopefully.
"There won't be." Remus replied.
How do you know? You can't tell the future." Sirius told him.
"Even is a cure is found it won't be any good for me." Remus said.
"Why's that?" Sirius asked.
"My body has reached maturity, meaning that the virus is well and truly in me. My blood work has been changed. And my organs are already damaged, they are beyond repair. The strains of transformations that I've already had are enough to kill someone. In time, it will be the death of me when my body just can't work anymore."
"Oh Remus." Sirius whispered.
"I don't want your pity. I don't want you to feel sorry for me." Remus snapped open his eyes and Sirius could see the fire glittering in them. "I've known my fate for a long time. You just have to accept it."
"Have you accepted it?" Sirius asked softly.
"I have no choice." Remus replied. "I know what I am going to do what the time comes."
"What you are going to do." Sirius echoed. "You can't mean.?"
Remus nodded slightly.
"But Remus!" Sirius protested.
"Don't fuss. It won't be for a while yet." Remus said.
"But would you really be able to do it?" Sirius asked.
"It's better than collapsing in agony during the moon. Not knowing of you're going he man, beast or both." Remus replied bluntly.
"I guess so." Sirius said seeing the big picture. "But please promise me something."
"What's that?"
"Let me be there with you." Sirius said. "You don't have to go through your pain alone. Not anymore."
"We'll see." Remus closed his eyes once again. Sirius could bee by the relaxing of his features that his friend was dropping off into a much- needed sleep.
Watching over his friend Sirius leaned close and whispered. "You'll not be alone anymore."