I know I'm gonna see you again
Promise me that you won't forget
Cause as long as you remember
A part of us will be together
So even when you're fast asleep
Look for me inside your dreams
Keep believing in what we're sharing
And even when I'm not there to tell you
I love you forever
Anytime that I can't be where you are
Just close your eyes
And you'll be here with me
Just look to your heart
And that's where I'll be
If you just close your eyes
'Til you're drifting away
You'll never be too far
From me
If you close your eyes
Is there anywhere that far?
Anytime you feel alone
Is there anywhere my love cannot reach?
Oh no
I could be anywhere on earth
You could be anywhere out here
Oh baby if you are
Just close your eyes
And you'll be here with me
Just look to your heart
And that's where I'll be
If you'll just close your eyes
'Til you're drifting away
You'll never be too far
From me
If you close your eyes
Cordelia had never had a party like that in her honor before, something thrown together on Doyle's whim, an idea pushed to fruition by Maj's enthusiasm at seeing some of the light in his commander's countenance returned to them. Doyle revealed the nature of Cordelia's mission, the reason why she'd been sent, and the Colonel had only laughed in disbelief and gratitude, had duly noted that his General laughed easier, seemed less weary. Of course the bastard had gone off and announced it to the whole complex, giving way to a plethora of cheers and applause for Cordelia though many of the soldiers didn't understand the nature of the revelation one whit. It didn't matter.
Hours later, food was still being served in the dining hall, toasts were still being made, and soldiers stood in various states of repose, thankful for a rest, thankful for some optimism. Doyle had given a speech, announcing the nature of Cordelia's departure, told his men how she'd saved the life of the Colonel, how she'd rescued him from something dark as well. And they listened to him as he spoke, these armies of creatures, fighters for the Powers. They saw in him a remarkable change, a light behind his eyes when before there'd been rocklike stoicism, a lightness in his tone where there'd once been listlessness and suffocating gravity. They knew as well as he that the situation was bad, that there still lay a hard path before them, but with the subtle change in their commanding officer, they could begin to hope for something better.
And thus the evening ticked away, her last hours spent with a friend she'd thought she'd lost long ago. It was pleasing, to see him so well situated, to know that when she'd be gone, he would be amongst men who dearly loved him, officers in his care who appreciated him more than she ever had, when she'd had him to herself.
~~~~~~~~
Later, once the festivities had died down, once the celebrations had waned and reality once again impugned on their lives, they all stood in the arrival bay quietly; with far less ceremony than she'd received when first coming to Kaylorin, and into its war. Far less than the hastily scrapped together dinner in her honor earlier this evening as well. The sounds of fireworks and cheering armies still thundered in her ears. She was thankful for the present intimacy, the closeness of old friends and new. Truth be told, the pageantry of her celebratory banquet had intimidated her just a little bit. Three hundred thousand strangers cheering your name had been ego-boosting and frightening all at the same time. This on the other hand, had all the comforts of a family party. The officers were assembled (out of uniform mind you) behind Maj as she stood facing them from the base of the arrival platform; Doyle stood behind her. They had exactly twenty minutes until midnight.
Maj, looking tired from the week's ordeal managed a genuine smile at her. "Didn't think you'd be goin' so soon, darling," he revealed. "But I guess you did your job."
She put her hand on his head. "I have more work to do. Apparently."
"Rare one like you? I don't doubt it," he agreed. He sat down on his haunches, used his hind foot to scratch behind his ear. "That's the funny thing about the Powers. Spend your time trying to be out of the ordinary, trying to be good, and they just pile more work on you."
She laughed a little. "Because they know you'll take it without too much whining?"
"Well, most of us, maybe. Yeah, that must be it." He winked at her. "Anyway, lemme let the rest of these fuddy-duddies pay their respects, and I'll usher them out so you and the Gen can have a mo' to yourselves."
She smiled archly. "Are you conspiring?"
"Sane military strategy, madam," he replied innocently, feigning indignance before turning back to the line of officers arranged in a perfect line behind him. "All right you Creampuffs, pay your respects to the lady and we'll be out of here. Don't want to be in the General's way, now do we?" he announced loudly, chancing a glance to his right at Doyle. The Irishman scowled at the Colonel, but with a level of humor that had long since gone from his eyes, only freshly returned. Maj couldn't help but be a little satisfied at that look.
Tauri and Aun stepped forward first, and she took both of their hands. "I just wanted to say; back when I was staring in the conference room… you have very pretty wings." She managed to compliment Tauri without looking like a fool. It had been something she'd wanted to tell him since she'd first seen him.
He smiled crookedly and tilted his head forward, wings folded like a cape around his neck. "Thank you."
She turned to Aun next, took the proffered claws and folded them within both her hands. "I'm sorry about your brother," she said sincerely.
He nodded understanding. "He would have liked you, hey."
"Goodbye."
They both bowed and turned around, strode out of the room.
Gwyn coughed and went forward next. "I ah, I wasn't trying to kill you, during your physical, for the record," the blue faced girl revealed.
Cordy laughed a little. "Sure."
"We have no place to put three hundred prisoners because of you." It wasn't an accusation, just an observation.
"I used to think that all demons were bad," Cordy revealed. "I had to learn the hard way that they weren't. I don't think all humans, at least, not the ones you have, are that bad either."
"I ah, I have to confess that when you were taken, I didn't want him to go after you," Gwyn revealed, clasping her hands behind her back and looking at the floor. "Thank you for bringing him back."
"I'm going to trust you and the others to keep him there."
The Major nodded, and with a small smile, turned around and walked out of the room.
Kal stepped forward next, the heavy sound of his mechanizations surprising compared to the lightness of his step. "You are an interesting hybrid," he let her know. "The potential for great power."
"I wanted to thank you, especially," Cordelia noted. "For telling me what I am. I always wondered what was inside me, sometimes I worried about it. But, I feel much better now."
"As you should," Kal assured her. "You are an emissary of the powers, and your demon essence is only that which is good, which is pure."
She smiled. "Good to know."
The robot paused. "Just, remember not to overdo it."
She was sure that if he could smile, he would have.
Then, there was just Maj. She had the grace to look sheepish to him. "Hey, Maj."
"I forgive you," he responded without hesitation.
She looked indignant. "What makes you think I was going to apologize?"
He smiled and winked again. "It was a damn fool thing you did out on that battlefield, running in and riskin' your pretty face to try and save an old dog like me."
She put her hands on her hips and regarded him bemusedly. "I so would have done it the same way if I had it to do again."
He barked a laugh in response. "Yeah, I figured that."
"So what, I don't get a hug or anything?" she held her arms open and kneeled down on the floor.
He chuckled and put a paw around her shoulder. "Never had a pretty lady come down to me for affection before," he quipped. "Bye bye, beauty."
"Take care of him for me?" she whispered into his ear.
"I'll do by best, but he's a stubborn bastard."
Cordelia snorted at this. "Anyone could have told you that. But I'm counting on you, Maj. Make sure you watch out for him. I mean…I want to…he deserves…"
"To go home."
She nodded. "No one deserves it more."
He bowed his head solemnly. "I can't disagree with you there, sweetheart. I'll do my best," he promised. "He'll get to come home. One day."
She squeezed him again, in gratitude. "Thank you." She pulled back and stood up straight, regarding him with a mysterious moisture in her eyes. She took a deep breath.
"You two've got a little over five minutes, darlin', make good use, huh?" Maj instructed with a cheeky grin, caught somewhere in-between outright lasciviousness and keen amusement. "Be seein' ya, Cord." He winked again and then stood up, turning tail and striding out the double doors without a backwards glance.
Both Doyle and Cordelia watched him go in silence. After a time, she turned to look at him. "It doesn't get easier."
He didn't have to ask what she was talking about. "No, it doesn't," he agreed, eyes facing downward, brow furrowed.
"I hate having to say goodbye to you again," she revealed. "The first time took two years. I see you again for less than a week and it all comes back."
He made to apologize. "I…"
She held up a hand. "But it was worth it. To know that you're okay. To know that you're alive, that you'll come back to us one day," she enthused. "I can't wait to go back and tell him. Angel will be ecstatic."
Doyle bit his bottom lip. "About that, Cord… I…" he paused, trying to find words. "…I think it might be better, if you never told him. If you didn't tell him where I was. He doesn't need to know."
She looked horrified and deeply confused all at once. "What? Doyle, why?"
His eyes caught hers. "Truth be told, Princess, I don't want 'im to feel any necessary duty towards me."
His explanation only served to puzzle her further, and he watched as her pretty forehead crinkled into a series of confused lines. "What do you mean?"
Doyle absently drew his hand along his neck. "He knew I loved you," he said quietly. "Not that I ever let him forget that I was interested, but when I talked to him 'bout you, I could tell he knew I was in love."
She bowed her head at the frank admission. But by his tone of voice, there was no pain left there, not much, anyway.
"I just… if Angel thought I might be comin' back, bastard would probably martyr the both of ye off waitin' on my return."
"Oh." Realization hit her.
"All I'm sayin' is, I don't want the fool wastin' time, drawin' back, thinkin' he's got some responsibility as me friend to not take the chance to… to uh…" he arrived at some difficulty here in his speech, but with expression of great fortitude, took a deep breath and carried on. "… I don't want 'im to feel like lovin' you would be betrayin' me."
She moved to refute him. "Doyle..."
He shook his head. "It's no good Cord, we both know the fella, we both know he's the type to put everyone ahead o' himself, 'specially if he feels responsible for 'em."
She couldn't argue with that. "He would want to know," she put in weakly.
"And he will, eventually," Doyle assured her. "I mean, Skip, he said I'd be able ta come home one day, if I survive this, right? Angel can know then."
"Doyle what if that's…"
"Years from now? Decades?" he asked, finishing the thought. "All the better then, Delia. At least then the brute'd have had the time by then to realize he can't live without ye an' damn all else." His eyes twinkled at her with the thought, and with that she could see he was resolved to this.
"Okay," she acquiesced. "He won't know. At least, not from me."
He smiled fondly. "Thanks, Princess."
That done, they stood in silence a moment longer. He tried to think about anything else that needed to be said.
When the platform lit up and sparks began to explode out of thin air above the entry platform, they both jumped. Out of time. Doyle watched mesmerized for a moment, as a sphere of pure light split into itself at the point of departure, spinning and sizzling incandescent energy as it began to gain momentum, began to crackle and expand. He turned to watch her watch the light, saw her move towards the steps up to the platform, ready to leave again. Watching her, watching her go off to another mission for the Powers, another assignment before they would allow her home, it occurred to him that no future was ensured, not his, not hers.
He grabbed her hand in his before she was two steps up. "I still love you."
His words startled her. "Doyle…I…"
He heard the gentle reproach in her voice, and waved her excuse off. He knew she loved Angel, saw it in her eyes every time his name came up, had perhaps even seen it the first time Cordelia had smiled at the vampire back when he'd been in LA with them. Hell, he couldn't think of anyone who deserved her love more. "I had to let you know, is all, Princess," he explained quietly. "Since they gave me another chance to see you, when I didn't think I'd be able to. Since you're leaving again." His eyes met hers, and they looked a little surer of themselves, a little less lost, than when she'd first seen him looking down at her during the arrival ceremony. "When you know you love someone, you should say it as much as you can. You never know when you won't be able to again," he added, small pearl of wisdom that seemed to allude to her.
"No, I guess you don't." She smiled awkwardly.
"None of that, Delia," he admonished gently. "All I'm saying is, they so much as told you that you were goin' back. He'll be there. He'll have searched the world for you, and you get to go back." He shrugged one shoulder in a self-deprecating manner. "I guess I just want to make sure that you tell him you love him, when you see him. Knowin' you two, you'd be dancin' around fer months before a word came out. An' when you do get ta tellin' him, never stop remindin' him…cause…" he trailed off.
"…you never know," she finished for him, eyes bright with unshed tears and gratitude.
He smiled back and nodded. "Yeah."
She held out her arms and embraced him firmly before another thought could come to mind. "Oh Doyle," she whispered into his ear, resting her cheek against his own. He could feel the warm slipperiness of her tears there, against the roughness of his unshaven face. "I love you too," she revealed softly. "Always."
It was a different revelation than he would have hoped for three years back, the offer of her love in a non-romantic way, in a strictly platonic way, but it warmed him all the same and he returned the embrace wholeheartedly. He'd known all along that he'd never have her, not all of her, not as Angel would. As Angel did. But this was good enough for a battered warrior like himself, more than enough, more than he thought he deserved. "You have to go back to them now," he murmured against her hair.
She pulled back slowly, sniffled. "Yeah. I do."
He could see the white-light portal, ever growing behind her. "They need you."
She nodded again, took a peek over her shoulder.
"Thank you," he added. "I was losin' my way. Again. An' you helped me find it. Again." His eyes crinkled into a form of subdued merriment. "Don't let him lose his way either."
She didn't need to ask who he meant.
The dimensional portal was the size of a person now, five and a half feet in length and two in diameter, a crackling force of white light not dissimilar to the one that resided within Cordelia's own blood, and even then, the both of them could feel it calling her, back to where she belonged, back to her home. It had never been his. "It's time to go now," he urged her, even as the complex clocks chimed midnight.
She took his face in her hands and down at him. "You'll save this world, Doyle. I know you will," she encouraged him in her parting.
He chuckled a little, put his hands on top of hers. "How can ye be so sure, Princess?"
She smiled, half amusement, half sadness. "Because you're my hero," she responded with all due sincerity, before leaning forward and brushing a devastatingly sweet, chaste kiss to his lips. He closed his eyes at the contact, fleeting as it was. All too soon, she pulled back and released him, dropping her hands to her side. "Goodbye, Doyle."
He watched her turn and walk up those final steps to the platform, where the swirling vortex awaited her. He watched her walk into it, saw her turn at the last second and smile at him before disappearing from his life for a second time. He closed his eyes.
"Goodbye, Cordelia."
I know I'm gonna see you again
Promise me that you won't forget
Cause as long as you remember
A part of us will be together
So even when you're fast asleep
Look for me inside your dreams
Keep believing in what we're sharing
And even when I'm not there to tell you
I love you forever
Anytime that I can't be where you are
Just close your eyes
And you'll be here with me
Just look to your heart
And that's where I'll be
If you just close your eyes
'Til you're drifting away
You'll never be too far
From me
If you close your eyes
Is there anywhere that far?
Anytime you feel alone
Is there anywhere my love cannot reach?
Oh no
I could be anywhere on earth
You could be anywhere out here
Oh baby if you are
Just close your eyes
And you'll be here with me
Just look to your heart
And that's where I'll be
If you'll just close your eyes
'Til you're drifting away
You'll never be too far
From me
If you close your eyes