- notes -
I think this sucks, but I had to get it out, and I figured that someone might find it a little funny. It's a stupid, dialogue-centric ficlet with a strange (and probably bad) ending. I had a little fun with the characters, and I think its sort of cute…
Would you believe that I wrote a fic that's not yaoi… or yuri… or even romantic? How odd.
But yea, the story uses dub names because it wouldn't work any other way. Seriously, you'll see. So anyway, since its all dub named, Bakura is Ryou, not Yami Bakura, okay? Just don't want anyone to get confused.
"Hey, Yug'!" Joey called, sitting down at the table beside Yugi in the library. "I just had the weirdest thought…"
"You can think?" Tea teased.
"Ouch," Joey said, pretending to be hurt. Then he turned to look at Yugi. "Seriously, it just occurred to me that I have no clue where Domino City is."
Tea blinked. "What?"
"Where is Domino City? I mean, I know we're here, but where exactly is here?"
Yugi scratched his head. "You know… I never thought about it." He looked around. "Tristan!" he called to the brunet at a computer. Tristan looked over.
"Yea?"
"Where are we?"
"Uh… the library."
"No, where is Domino City?"
Tristan blinked. "Why do we care?" He stood, joining his friends at the table.
"We don't know where our own home is!" Joey said exasperatedly, throwing his arms in the air. "What's wrong with this picture?"
"Why don't we ask someone?" Tea asked. "Surely someone must know."
As it turned out, no one in the library could answer the question… ever weirder, no one seemed to been bothered by the fact that they didn't know what country Domino City was part of until Yugi (or Tea or Joey or Tristan) had asked. Finally they settled back at their desk with a bunch of encyclopedias, thinking out loud and crossing off different places the small world map they had photocopied.
"Well, we know we're not in Egypt, so we can cross that out. In fact, I want to say that we can rule out Africa altogether," Yugi said.
"Why?" Tristan asked, staring at the map as though it would magically provide him with an answer.
"Well, look at geography. Africa is hot and desert-y; we're surround by water." Yugi put a big red "x" through Africa.
"So we're on an island!" Joey said triumphantly.
"Yes… But which island?"
They sat in silence. "Japan?" Tea asked.
"Why Japan?" Tristan asked, still staring at the map.
"Well, everyone's favorite foods seem to be Japanese…"
"Burgers aren't Japanese," Yugi pointed out.
Tea replied, "That doesn't mean anything."
"Then neither does that fact that everyone else likes Japanese food; maybe it's just a common interest."
"Oh."
More silence. Tea drummed her fingers on the table; Tristan looked like he was ready to attack the map; Joey looked deep in thought; Yugi looked like he was on the verge of panic. All these actions were interrupted by a suave, "Why so glum?"
"Where are we?" Yugi shouted, panicked. Duke took a step back.
"In the library."
Tea rolled her eyes. "No, we mean where is Domino City? So far we've decided that its not in Africa, and it's an island."
Duke seemed to consider this. "That's a good question." He sat down beside Yugi, who looked like he might have been having a panic attack. "Calm down, shrimp," he said, patting Yugi on the back. "We can figure it out." He thought some more, crossing his arms on the table and resting his chin on his forearms. "Well, we're probably not in America, despite Joey's accent."
"Oh?" Joey asked. "And why not?" He was apparently ignoring the comment about his accent.
"Well, I flew to Pegasus's island on a helicopter. Do you know any islands within helicopter-distance on the American coasts?"
"That's right! And the ferry we took the Duelist Kingdom only took about 24 hours!" Yugi said. "So we're not in America either." Another big red "x", this time through America. Then it was silent again. Everyone resumed their previous activities, plus Duke started biting his nails.
"That's gross," Tea murmured.
"Nervous habit," Duke admitted, and let his hands fall into his lap.
More silence.
"Bakura!"
Everyone jumped and stared at Tristan. "The freaky white-haired kid? What about him?" Duke asked.
"Well, he's an exchange student, right? We can find out where he came from and cross that off our list! He might even know where we are!"
"Terrific!" Joey said. "Go find him!"
Tristan took off, nearly knocking his chair over. Luckily Tea caught it and set it upright.
Silence again. Joey scratched his head; Tea started playing with her cell phone; Yugi stared to look like he was having a panic attack again; Duke was patting Yugi's back and telling him not to hyperventilate.
"Isn't this cute," a condescending voice interrupted the not-so-active party.
"Kaiba," Joey groaned. "Go away."
"No!" Yugi said excitedly. "Kaiba, your smart, right?"
Kaiba stared, and Yugi laughed nervously. "Right, understatement. Good. Where are we?"
"The lib-"
"No, where's Domino City?" Yugi interrupted.
Kaiba blinked. Stared. Blinked again. "That's a stupid question."
"If it's so stupid why ain't you answering, moneybags?" Joey sneered.
Kaiba glared. Blinked. Sat down across from Duke. "I have no clue." He looked at the world map. "We're probably not in Russia. Or South America. Or Alaska."
Each of these places received a big red "x" without question.
"Help!" an almost-whiny British voice floated into the library from the hall. "I didn't do it! It was him! Let me go!"
"Sounds like they found the freaky kid," Duke said. True enough, Tristan dragged Bakura in. He kicking and screaming in a very un-Bakura like manner.
"Found him!" Tristan said triumphantly, and nearly threw Bakura into Kaiba's lap without noticing the stoic teen's presence. Kaiba glared. Tristan blinked. "Does the genius know?"
"Nope," Tea said. "He's just as stumped as us."
"What's going on?" Bakura asked, sitting in Tristan's empty seat. "I just got dragged roughly all the way from the bathroom, so I want answers."
"Where are we?" Joey asked.
"In-"
"We mean Domino City," Duke explained.
Bakura stared. "You mean you don't know?"
They all stared. "You do?"
"Of course; I had to know where I was going when I left home." He was quiet.
"Well?" Yugi demanded. "Where are we?"
Bakura grinned. "Simple, really. We're in…" He trailed off, basking in the suspense. Everyone leaned towards him in anticipation… and promptly fell over when they heard answer.