All HP characters are the brain child of J.K Rowling who is an extraordinary writer and who thankfully does not take offense to those of us who like to mess with her world.

Warning: This will become eventual slash so if you gots a problem with that then read ne further!

Thank Christ for that. I thought I would be stuck with this chapter forever. After all that it's not really that long of a chapter either. Hopefully I am now unblocked and the rest of the story will flow more easily.

Zyrorai - Ta for the review. Yeah, I've noticed that too, as you can see, commas are my best friend. I like to get everything crammed into one sentence but I've tried to fix it up as best I could.

Sunfreak - I'm glad you like Cali and I think she's coming along nicely. She has her problems but the story hasn't really delved into her too deeply yet (is it just me or does that sound odd?). I do have plans to send her to Hogwarts (that was the main idea that got this story started) but that'll take some planing so for now it's just her Sear and Rem. Thanks for the imput!

Cheers

Sway (does the number thing piss anyone else off? I have gots to find a way to alter my name)

***

Sirius sighed. Great now he had thoughts. Cali had brought up an interesting point though. Why hadn't Remus married? Sirius agreed wholeheartedly with Cali perception of Remus. He was smart, funny and handsome, even if he can Cali were a little bias any fool could see that. What if he had been waiting for something, or someone… Sirius stopped that thought before it could gain momentum. He did not come here to rehash hopeless fantasy's he'd had when he was twenty years old (O.K, since he was seventeen but who's counting).

"I'm going to my room to read"

Calisto announced as she walked back into the dinning room.

Sirius scowled at her back as she bent down to kiss Remus on the cheek. She makes a comment like that then leaves the two of them alone. That girl was some kind of evil. Remus murmured something to her in French and Sirius berated himself for never learning the language. An idea sprung into his head. Why hadn't he ever thought of learning French? That would have grabbed Moony's attention and if not it would have certainly lured others into his bed. It was after all the language of love. Sirius mentally rolled his eyes, apparently eleven years in Azkaban had not diminished his ability to think solely with his penis.

"Goodnight Sirius"

Sirius looked up to find Cali right in front of him. There was no way he could stay mad with her; she looked far too much like his Moony. She hesitated for a moment then swooped down and hugged him.

For all his internal ramblings Sirius knew that he would be uncomfortable with people being close to him again and as Cali's arms went around his shoulders his first instinct was to push her away. He forced himself to relax, however, and tentatively put his arms around her. It was nice. She was soft and warm and smelt like Jasmine. Too few times in his life had he been touched in a way that wasn't either sexual or violent. It was a little awkward, due to the fact that he was still sitting down and the only way to hug her properly was if she sat in his lap and that was not going to happen. All too soon she broke away and headed to her room.

"Tea?"

The soft inquiry brought him back to reality.

"Yes, thank-you"

Sirius answered before the question had really penetrated his mind. The animagnus gave a soft bark of laughter. During their time at school Sirius had found himself taking whatever Remus offered him just so he could hold the werewolves attention for a while. Old habits really did die-hard, he never did like tea much. Looking up he saw Remus looking at him with concern. Must be the laughing.

"Just thinking about something"

Sirius said, waving him off

Remus lingered a moment longer before nodding and heading into the kitchen. Sirius stood and stretched in a very feline like manner, quite contradictory to his status as "A big over grown puppy" as James had liked to tease him. The day seemed to have dragged by and he was surprised to see that it was only eight o'clock. He moved into the living room and stretched out on the sofa then chuckled at his behavior. He hadn't even been here a full day and he already felt at home. How could anyone not, it was so warm and inviting. Well there were those special cases, Snape for one. Sirius grimaced as he thought of the greasy git. He would probably be most at home hanging upside down in a cave somewhere. Oh yeah, his entire family too. Sirius smiled. His mother would positively hate this place. Batty old cow wouldn't know warm and inviting if it came up and beat her over the head with a broomstick. 'Course he wouldn't have to worry about that. She had apparently died some years ago. Huh, that meant Grimmould Place was his. Sirius shivered in distaste, it certainly wasn't like he wanted it. He'd buried that old ghost long ago and dredging it up again would only be pain he didn't need. Taking in his surroundings Sirius let a smile linger around his mouth. Harry could be happy here. If, no when, he was cleared this would be the first port of call. Sirius knew that Remus would have no objections to housing he and Harry until he found a place of his own. Thinking of Harry made Sirius abandon the comfortable position he was in. Guilt purveyed his senses, he had failed to protect his Godson again. Of all the things Sirius had seen in his life he knew that he would hold the haunted look of those emerald eyes to his grave. Gods, the boy was only fourteen years old and he looked for all the world like a seasoned veteran. Sirius ran a tired hand over his face. It was never suppose to be this way. Harry was suppose to have grown up with the love of his parents and more then likely a few brothers and sisters. Sirius would play the cool Uncle type figure, spoiling the kids rotten but he would have been closest to Harry. Remus would have clucked his tongue disapprovingly but would secretly tell the kids the best spells to make dungbombs more potent. Sirius would never have entertained the notion that Moony could betray anyone and maybe one day show some of that Griffindor courage and tell Remus how he felt.

The rattle of the tea tray jerked Sirius out of his thoughts as Remus entered the living room. He looked at Sirius with concern on his face as he lowered the tray onto the coffee table. Sirius's eye caught the photograph on the mantle and closed his eyes.

"It wasn't suppose to be this way Moony."

He said heavily

He felt the lounge dip with Remus' slight weight and heard him chuckle softly

"When did we get so old Padfoot?"

He asked

"I'm not old"

Sirius answered defensively opening his eyes.

"No but you feel it, don't you."

Sirius sighed and nodded. Man did he feel old sometimes. As a young man he had never been able to sit still. He was a constant blur of motion, forever seeking his next adventure. He had found a kindred spirit in James Potter, who, like himself, seemed to be possessed of a manic energy. Those dreams of greatness they use to have seemed so distant now, like a memory of another life. In stories when hero's gave their lives it always seemed so brave and gallant and the world seemed to stop spinning in honor of there sacrifice, but Sirius knew the truth, the world never stops and in the end it's just one more precious life wasted. No matter how much you scream and beg and cry it never stops and sometimes he just wanted to say the fuck with it and leave it all behind. Sirius could feel his mind slipping away to that dark place again and he searched desperately for something to anchor himself to. Remus' eyes were full of concern and without a word he pulled Sirius into an embrace. He sighed and buried his face into the column of Remus' throat. While James had been the one who kept up with Sirius' furious pace, even driving him to new more daring heights, Remus had always been there to ground him. He was the rock on which everyone could depend and one whom Sirius had clung most needely to.

He closed his eyes and sank into the warmth of Moony's embrace. He hadn't realized how much he had missed this man. For eleven years he had barely existed, hadn't really noticed the time going by. He had been consumed by his worse memories and with the burning desire to kill Wormtail. Only the yearly inspections had shown him how much time had actually past. Now, looking around Remus' home, it penetrated into his brain that he had missed such a large portion of his life. He wanted it back, wanted to finally grieve the loss of his friends and try to form some semblance of a life. He couldn't though, he needed to pull himself together. Needed to stop the sting of tears that threatened to spill. There was his Godson to protect, an evil wizard to thwart and plans to be made. The rest could wait.

Pulling away from Remus he cast around for something mundane to say. The tea tray caught his eye and he moved towards it then stopped short.

"Do you still like hot chocolate? I recall you were never that fond of tea."

Sirius smiled and picked up the mug. He cupped his hands around it and inhaled deeply. He wasn't sure he could stomach all the rich food he had been on lately, after his diet of the past decade, but he was going to have this chocolate, his stomach be damned.

They drank in silence for a few minutes and Sirius appreciated the time so that he might organize his thoughts and take a moment to reflect on the goodness that was hot chocolate. It had always been his cure for anything ailing him but unfortunately this time it only allowed him to stall for a moment. He didn't want to talk about it. The others hadn't wanted details but Remus would. The rest of the order like Remus had already been told that Voledmort was back by the time Sirius had arrived at their homes. He was to simply tell them that the order was being reinstated. He had a sneaking suspicion that Dumbledoor had given him the task just so he would have something to do, that and to reconcile with a few old mates.

He finally turned to his friend after placing his mug down on the table. Remus waited patiently for Sirius to speak and Sirius was suddenly struck with the familiarity of the situation. How many times in his school years had he poured his heart out to this man? Remus had always been there for him, he was then and he was now. As in the past he had started speaking before he realized what he was doing. It all came pouring out, the story he had heard an emotionally and physically drained Harry tell the week before. Cedric, the cemetery, the ritual, the duel and Harry's get away. Remus had been most upset by the Hufflepuffs death, he had been one of his students. He had growled involuntarily when Sirius spoke of Wormtails involvement and when Sirius told him of the duel and it's results Remus had squeezed his eyes shut and murmured something in French that ended in Harry's name.

Silence reigned once again after Remus had listened to Sirius rant about how useless he felt and the things he would like to do to Wormtail once he found him. Looking up at the clock (one that told time as well as the activities of the members of the household) he realized that he had been speaking for nearly two hours. He also noticed that Cali's arrow was pointing on "Should be asleep but is wondering outside instead" The arrows were fixed and it was the writing next to them that seemed to change. He nearly laughed when he read that Remus was "Having a D&M"

"She's been fiddling with the settings again.

Remus said, obviously following his line of vision.

She's tried to change hers but can't so she messes with mine. I had to modify it so I could keep track of her."

Sirius looked at Remus expectantly.

"I'll call her on it in the morning, there's no real trouble for her to get into out here."

"Yeah, you've certainly locked yourself away from society"

"Sirius…

Sirius recognized that tone of voice

"No, let's not aye Rem. I just…"

He trailed off, not knowing what he wanted but he was certainly done with meaningful conversations for the night.

Remus squeezed his hand reassuringly and Sirius rested his head on Moony's shoulder, needing the physical contact of his last marauding brother. Remus didn't seem to mind and even draped an arm loosely over Sirius' shoulder. Another wave of tiredness hit Sirius and he felt himself give into the comforting dark, not afraid to sleep for the first time in thirteen years because he was here with his friend and was for once glad of Remus' anti-social behavior, they really were in the middle of nowhere. Before he drifted off he heard Moony's smooth baritone speaking to him but he couldn't comprehend the words. They made him feel safe though and he felt the lightest brush of something against his forehead before sleep took him.

AN: Does anyone else think this chapter is choppy in parts? It's also more angsty then I originally thought but there you have it. It's done now and I'm just glad I managed to get it out. Oh, once again I haven't been able to check my HP spelling references 'cause I'm bookless but if I didn't post this now I wouldn't be able to do so for another week and I really wanted it up.