Yet Another Harry Potter Story
Chapter Seven – The Amazing Adventures of the Lion and the Fish
AN: Ack! I'm wicked sorry about not updating… okay, if you get sick of me not updating this fanfic, you can read my other one; I'm pretty good about adding more chapters ::apologetic smile:: Repeats monotonously:: I will update more often, I will update more often, I will update more often….
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They say that Argus Filch owns
One half of this whole town
With political connections
To spread his wealth around!
Born into society
An Auror's only child
He had everything a man could want
Power, grace and style
- 'Argus Filch', folk song, written c. 1894. (AN: The real song, Richard Cory, is by Paul Simon, performed by Simon & Garfunkel. I DON'T OWN IT.)
"What's this?" asked Harry. He, Ron, and a still extremely disgruntled Hermione were in the library later that day. Ron and Harry were working on their Potions homework. Hermione was working on something else.
"What?" Ron asked, leaning over to see the book Harry was reading.
"Look," said Harry, pointing to the verse. "Argus Filch… what d'you reckon?"
"I reckon it was written in 1894, mate, and no one would write a song about a Squib."
"But he has the same name," Harry pointed out.
"Well, maybe it was common back in the Stone Age," said Ron. "And read it again. Rich? Powerful? Filch?"
"I know," admitted Harry. "But maybe that explains why he's a caretaker. His rich, powerful, family cast him out when they found out that he was a Squib, and since they were so famous everyone found out about it, and Hogwarts was the only place he could find work."
"I'd feel sorry for him if that were true," Hermione remarked from behind a sheet of bushy brown hair.
Ron gaped at her. "You do realize that you just used a form of pity and a pronoun for Filch in the same sentence, don't you?"
"I'm usually quite aware of what I say, thanks," she answered.
"What are you working on, anyway?" Harry asked her. She had spoken but two words before he had run into the Filch-poem.
"Er, just something for-" Hermione muttered an indistinguishable word. Seeing the blank looks on their faces, she added, "The class I'm taking while you two've got Potions." She hastily shoved a thinly bound book into her bag and said, "Well, I'm done now. I'll see you two at breakfast tomorrow."
Harry and Ron exchanged glances. "Girls," Ron muttered, shaking his head.
***
The next day in Potions, something happened that was very queer indeed. Draco, normally the perfect angelic student for Snape, wasn't paying attention. He only made half of his Soaring Solution when Snape strode down the aisle and deftly plucked a purple book from his hands. Several students turned to watch Snape's odd behavior. Usually, he would have just told the antagonist off, not confiscated the distraction. And as it was Malfoy, well….
"Now, now, what have we here?" Snape addressed the class from the front of the room. "Astrology for Warlocks, hmm? I would not have expected you, Draco, to be reading something that is so obviously meant for Mudbloods."
Draco's face flushed, and he looked down (AN: Sorry to all you Draco fans out there ::cough:: Sarah ::cough, hack::, but it's for the good of the plot) and took Snape's insults. Harry and Ron found this whole scenario highly amusing. They fought to hide their laughter, but it seemed that Snape had found his victim of the day.
"Oh?" Snape continued, flipping through the embossed pages. "A dog-eared page? Well, we shall read, Mr. Malfoy, we shall read…." At this, Harry reverted to his old tactic of ducking under the table, or, in this case, behind his cauldron, to conceal his very loud and involuntary opinion. " 'The bonds you make won't be easy to break today. Before you take another step closer to your amore, think about how serious you really want things to be. This could be the start of a beautiful relationship, provided you're with the right person.' Oh, how charming… it changes your horoscope for each day… how positively nifty…." Draco's face adopted a scarlet hue that clashed horribly with his white-blonde hair. Ron had to stuff his fist into his mouth to keep from losing it completely.
"Lucky you don't take Divination, Draco," Snape said. "I doubt Professor Trelawney would be very pleased to see that you are straying out to a branch of fortune-telling outside of the curriculum…."
Luckily for Draco (and Harry and Ron, too), the bell rang just as Snape finished. As they exited the classroom, Ron said, "That was the most brilliant thing since Moody transfigured him into a bouncing ferret! I love Snape!" Harry cocked an eyebrow at him. "Okay, so I don't even remotely like him, but that's okay! It was still wonderful, brilliant, amazing, magnificent, superb…." (AN: Someone ate the thesaurus! ::Coughs::)
***
"Guess what!" Harry said excitedly, plopping down next to Hermione at lunch hour.
"What?" She asked, not sounding very interested.
"Malfoy got yelled at by Snape! Isn't that great?" Harry grinned as Ron sat down next to him. "Give her the details, Ron."
"What'd he get yelled at for?" questioned Hermione, sounding slightly more attentive.
"Reading in class. And you won't believe what he was reading. Astrology for Warlocks!" At Ron's last word, both he and Harry dissolved into peals of laughter.
"Well, astrology is quite interesting, isn't it?" Harry and Ron stared at her. "What?"
"Are you the same person who dropped out of Divination in third year?" Harry asked disbelievingly.
"I suppose so," Hermione answered, "but that certainly doesn't mean that I can't take an interest in something. Astrology is kind of cool. I'm a Virgo, what're you two?"
Harry and Ron exchanged glances. "Er, I don't know," Ron answered. "I was born on 1 March, so I guess that makes me a-"
"Pisces," Hermione answered automatically. "And Harry's birthday is 31 July, so that means that he's a Leo." When Harry and Ron continued to stare at her, she added, "What? It's not like you're not used to me knowing everything about everything already…."
"Erm," Harry said. "Hermione, are you sure that nothing's wro-"
"Quite sure, I'm fine. Just dandy!" she picked up her bag, and a purple book slipped out of it. She hastily shoved it back in. "I've some work to catch up on, so I'll see you two in Charms…."
Harry and Ron continued to stare at her retreating back. Something must be wrong with her, thought Harry. She would never have taken an interest in astrology last year, I know that for a fact. And she's always been so- modest about her intellect. Yes, something's definitely wrong with Hermione.
***
The brown haired, large eyed beauty looked attentively at her master.
"You are doing well, my servant," Voldemort said, stroking Nagini. Stroking one's pet snake when one is plotting evilly is a bad habit to get into, as snakes are very sensitive and tend to bite one if one rubs them incorrectly, causing one to lose one's train of thought. "Just keep them, shall we say, flat footed, and everything will be fine. FINE!"
She jumped at his last word. "Yes, my master," she uttered, and left.
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AN: Whoohoo! I wrote another chapter! Yay! :D What's with Filch, what's wrong with Hermione, and who exactly is servant? Yup, you guessed it, I'm a walking commercial for myself! Find out next chapter! And don't forget to review ^ - ~
--Juli