Disclaimer: Thanks for all the reviews! 17 reviews on one chapter! Now, you know the drill: If I owned Calvin and Hobbes would I even make myself known online? (Honestly, Bill Watterson's a great cartoonist and probably a funny guy, but I heard he doesn't even go out in public to sign books- his mom drops 'em off at his house and he signs them and she takes them back…) Oh, by the way, if you want to see how the formatting of Chapter One looked, e-mail me and I'll send you a copy. Stupid FanFiction.net re-formatting…

Article IV: You got it right for once… All ranks must be discussed with the Dictator-for-Life before being given. Then how come you can appoint yourself all of these amazing ranks without a second thought? Because, flea brain, I'm Dictator. But I'm President. So? That's under dictator! I am the Dictator-for-Life! Big deal. Let's just end this section… Fine. …fleabrain…

Section III: Minutes of Last Meeting

9:07 AM: Meeting Called to Order

9:08 AM: Read Minutes of Previous Meeting. Much arguments on the Dictator-for-Life's part.

9:09 AM: President and First Tiger Hobbes throws Log Book at Dictator-for-Life.

9:10 AM: Demerits given to President and First Tiger Hobbes. Club Secretary Hobbes conveniently forgets to record them in the Log Book.

9:12 AM: Scuffle between members of the club. Of course, President finishes by sitting on Dictator-for-Life.

9: 15 AM: Dictator-for-Life gives up.

9:17 AM: Enemy spotted- Dictator-for-Life gives unreasonable plan.

9:20 AM: Club Strategist Hobbes comes up with a better plan.

9: 22 AM: Water balloons are filled.

9: 24 AM: Dictator-for-Life attempts to annihilate enemy, but gets soaked in the process.

9: 27 AM: Meeting adjourned

WHAT?!? That was a totally biased report! It's the truth and you know it! Don't stick your tongue out at me! Now you've got spit all over the page! Well, you just said to tape last meetings minutes in here, so I did! Now can we finish filling in the Handbook? Yes. But it's hardly over! We still have to add a rules section, and then a list of members and demerits!

Section IV: We skipped over Section III. No we didn't. The minutes are Section III. WHAT? YOU HAVE TO TITLE IT! Says who? ME! THE DICTATOR-FOR-LIFE! Fine then, I'll let YOU write the rest. Fine. Fine. Fine! Fine! FINE. FINE. Section IV: Planning.

Article I

All plans must have this sole purpose: the extinguish girls from the face of the earth! All girls? Yes, flea brain, all girls. This club is called Get Rid Of Slimy girlS, so OBVIOUSLY we want to get rid of ALL girls. What about your mom? What does Mom have to do with this? You said the other day that your mom is the only way you'd get fed, taken to places, and taken care of, so you just said you'd let your mom be extinguished from Earth. Fine. Amendment by Dictator-for-Life Calvin: Extinguishing mom's are optional. There, happy? What about Susie? She's cute. YOU TRAITOR! SUSIE IS OUR WORST ENEMY! But she's still cute… I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE WRITING THIS! Well, it's true. We'll discuss this after we've finished this handbook. For now, let's just go on to the next article…

Article II

Every plan must be discussed with the Dictator-for-Life before it is placed into action. If the Dictator can't be bothered, then try asking Club Spy, Calvin, or Club Strategist, Calvin. I thought I was the club strategist… Well, I changed it. Why? We've been over this before, Hobbes. I'm the Dictator-for-Life. You're the President. I'm ahead and you aren't. But you can't just take away an office from me! We should have it discussed by the Club Board of Directors! I'm the only member in the Board of Directors, so I discussed it with myself and I decided that I was best fit for the job. That's not fair! Not much is.

Article III

Every secret plan needs a map of the surrounding areas that the plan will be carried out in. Why? Because, fuzz-head, we won't get lost or we won't be without an escape route if we don't have a map. Can I be cartographer? Why not… I want a ceremony declaring that I, Hobbes, am now the official Club Cartographer. We'll do it later. Why? Because Susie's right under us! Quick! Grab the rotten tomatoes and help me! OK… does that mean we're done recording for the day? YES! JUST GET THE ROTTEN TOMATOES!