Disclaimer: Yes, you can all yell at me. This has taken forever to complete. This is the end. Of one of my strangest fics, at that. I'm terribly sorry this has taken forever, and I'm aware that this is in written format, instead of like the handbook, but I honestly couldn't think of an ending. Sorry if I disappointed you all.

By the way, is "snuck" a word? MS Word doesn't tell me it's misspelled, but I'm not entirely sure. I thought I heard CR- er, THE Elvenking say something about it somewhere.

Calvin glared at Hobbes in the G.R.O.S.S. tree fort, as the summer sun, filtered through the leaves to make it look green, basked them in warmth. "It's all your fault, you know," Calvin snarled.

"You were the one who decided to have a meeting by the creek!" Hobbes shot back.

"You were the one who started arguing with me!" Calvin retorted.

"Only because you called what I wrote vile slander!"

"It was! I am not a smelly moron!" Calvin said firmly.

"Ever wonder why you don't have fleas?" Hobbes asked, crossing his arms on his chest.

"Because I'm a human, the smartest species of all animals on Earth!" Calvin said, hoping he was right.

Hobbes chuckled. "I wonder- who is responsible for the world's problems? Certainly not tigers."

Calvin threw his hands up in the air, and, unfortunately, the G.R.O.S.S. Club Handbook. Both Calvin and Hobbes made a dive for it, but watched, helplessly, as it landed in the creek. Bubbles and blotches of ink rose up from the water. Calvin glared at Hobbes.

"That was your fault, too."

"How was it MY fault?" Hobbes asked.

"You were arguing with me!" Calvin said, glaring at the tiger.

"You started it," Hobbes pointed out.

"Only because you recorded our meeting when I told you NOT to!" Calvin shouted, scaring several birds in a nearby tree.

"Yes, but this meeting was a goo- OOF!" Hobbes was unable to finish his sentence, for Calvin had slammed into his stomach, attempting to knock the taller one over. However, Hobbes sighed and walked towards the creek, lifted Calvin up, and dropped him.

SPLASH!

"WHY YOU—YOU—TO THE DICTATOR-FOR-LIFE!" Calvin stuttered, unable to finish his sentence.

"I'm through with G.R.O.S.S. for now," Hobbes said, and walked away, leaving the Dictator-for-Life of G.R.O.S.S sitting in the creek, dumbfounded.

"Hoo hoo," Hobbes said, and took a folded piece of paper hidden behind his ears. He opened it up and read it.

Fourth Summer Meeting

Today started out as a normal day. Dictator-for-Life Calvin woke me up earlier than I would have liked, telling me that today was "the day" for G.R.O.S.S. Apparently, Susie had a sleepover the night before with some girl (Madison- she was cute.) and they were out playing with dolls on the front lawn.

Calvin paraded out to the backyard, and I followed him, up to the G.R.O.S.S. fort, announced his plans. (I had to write these down quickly on scraps of paper, but I think I have the gist.)

"Gentlemen," Calvin told me, "today, an alliance has formed, between our enemies- Susie Derkins and some other girl from my class!"

"What's the plan?" I asked (while rolling my eyes, of course.).

"To send a select band of scouts to the headquarters of the vile creatures, and put a stop to their occult ritual!" Calvin declared boldly. I had to try hard to repress a snort.

"Really? An occult ritual? What would that be?" I finally managed to ask.

"Our Field Scout, Calvin, had to go on a dangerous intelligence mission. While he was there, he found out the girls were playing something called 'House.'"

"Say no more," I said ceremonially, although I thought (and still think) Calvin was overreacting. "I suppose we'll need a map?"

"And some water balloons!" Calvin said excitedly. He climbed down the rope ladder, followed by me.

We went inside, and I drew an accurate map, while Calvin filled up around a dozen water balloons. I took half, and he took half, and we snuck over to Susie's house.

When we got there, Susie and Whatsirname were carrying around several comatose animals for some reason- Mr. Bun and some duck (poor animals- I wonder why they don't try to wake them up?).

Calvin ran out at them and started screaming, "Yah! Yah! Get rid of slimy girls!" I just stayed back in watch. When the whole fiasco was over, Susie was soaking wet, as well as Madison.

"CALVIN YOU POOP HEAD!" Susie yelled at him (she's cute when she yells…). "LOOK WHAT YOU DID!"

Calvin grinned like it was Christmas. Then, out of nowhere, four water balloons smacked Calvin upside the head. I looked around for the source of the balloons, and there was Susie's friend, glaring at Calvin.

"Calvin you dope," she said venomously, "don't go crashing other people's parties- especially when I'm at them!"

Calvin seemed to quall under her glare. "Yes, Madison… C'mon Hobbes," he said, and led me away.

As we were walking back, he looked me square in the eye. "This never happened, got it?"

"Got it!" I said, and began recording it, next to all of our pointless rules for this club.

THE END

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Sorry for the ending, guys. Writer's block does that. Look for my next fic, Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust coming soon!