No red lights; a Pietro fic.
By Untamed_butterflyz's Flayme
Summary: just a little something I put together when my angst muse, Elodea, wanted some attention. Pietro reflects on himself and his life.
Disclaimer: do I really need to write this **sighs and rolls eyes** not mine, not mine, not mine!
AN: written in Pietro POV, rated PG 13 for swearing and angst.
**
I know what they all think of me...
Annoying, bratty, self obsessed; they think my life has been one big game.
They think I've just raced through it.
I'm the fastest teenage boy on the planet, no, the fastest out of anyone, but I've had my share of red lights.
Like my father...that bastard ...
I hate him more than anyone knows, I hate him more than anyone actually, more than mystique or even professor Xavier over at that fancy mansion of theirs, and I know he hates me back just as much, he's always hated me for as long as I can remember.
We were never normal, but I guess that goes without saying, I guess that's what comes with the package of having these stupid powers, to tell you the truth? I think I would rather die than live the life I'm living now.
Except for my speed.
That's probably what's kept me sane all these years, like when my sister was sent away, I relied on my speed to take me away from it all.
I remember just spending hours running, it wouldn't matter where I ended up, sometimes I would travel miles subconsciously, I still do, and then, when I'm running, it's the only time I feel really alive.
The only time I'm real.
When I was younger, before I had my powers, I didn't have any way to escape my life, I always felt as if my life wasn't my own, as if I had no control over my own thoughts or feelings.
I didn't.
My father, Magneto, sir as he now commands me to address him, beat me a lot. He said I was useless and good for nothing and a waste of his time, he once even fucking said I didn't deserve to live.
But then things changed.
When my powers emerged he started acting all fatherly, trying to "make up for lost time" as he bluntly put it. Wasted time was more like it. But I didn't buy into his bullshit; all he had ever wanted was power, now he needed me to help him obtain it. I vowed to myself to never become a victim of him or of anyone.
I broke my vow.
I ended up destroying a lot of things while helping him, lives, families, "It's all for the good of your kind my son." Good of our kind my ass! I wanted to stop it all, I wanted to get away, but again I had lost control of my own body, it was like he had programmed me into the psyche that all of our killing was fine, that violence was okay, after all, it was what I had lived with my whole life.
The only person who ever knew how I felt about him and his fucking talk of "To have peace there must be war" crap, was Wanda.
She's my only sibling, and my twin at that; I used to think that being a twin was a special bond, one that couldn't be broken, that's what I had heard, from everyone and everything.
I guess I was wrong.
She hates me now, not without reason though; I left her in an insane asylum for eight years, without so much as a goodbye. I hated myself for so long after that, I stayed up thinking about it every fucking night for the next three months, my father kept spouting his almighty in the vein of God crap! He said it was for her own good, the idea of "You parents are your protectors and everything they do is out of love" and all that shit was still wired into my mind I was too young and stupid to see the truth.
She stood up to him.
Her powers were too great and she was too stubborn to let him stand in her way, so he made fifteen security guards armed with guns and cattle prods stand in her way instead.
A few years later he formed his first group of disciples, the brotherhood of mutants, we weren't much of a brotherhood, we called each other names, laughed when things went wrong for someone.
Lance tried to seem like a leader; he tried to act all "tough guy" when ever anyone was around, he gave the orders and fought the strongest enemies, when he was really messed up probably more than any of us.
Except for Todd.
We would pick on him the most, and though he was actually the first of us recruited, and should have been the leader by order, we still treated him like shit, he put up with it even though he didn't have to, he acts weak and defenseless but I know he's stronger then he lets on. I saw him in a fight once, not someone about to pulverize him, but a real honest to god fight, I don't know what this guy said that made him so upset, but I'd never seen him be so violent.
Freddy used to be a side show act for a monster truck show, that's basically all I know about him, every time somebody laughs he assumes it's about him, I guess the crowds gave it to him pretty rough.
Rouge only stayed with us for about a week, then she got all google eyed after summers as went off, she always put up a shield of dark makeup and clothes to seemingly "Mask her inner anguish" but she didn't really know pain, she didn't know hate or loss in the way the rest of us did. That's why she left.
Tabby just needed a place to cool off before she headed back, we never really expected her to stay; she loves the comfortable life too much.
She needed that place, and those people who all drape lies around themselves like badges of honor, who all wear masks to hide their hate, they know they can never win, even baldy knows it, but they keep fighting, like some day it'll make some sort of difference.
Every war is a lost war, even if you are victorious you loose in a way. The battle we're fighting is for a lost cause, and hundreds will die because of need.
Everything starts and ends with need.
For magneto it's power, he thinks he needs it so desperately he's willing to destroy everything to achieve it. For professor X, it's the need to feel right, he needs the authority over his mindless x-men to feel complete, so he leads them into a battle they wont win, and they love him for it. All of them are so dependent on his system of control that they'd go mad without it.
Every living person needs something they love, or else what's the point of living.
Something...or someone.
For lace its kitty, for Fred its jean, for toad it's .ugh. my sister.
I don't need someone to make me happy, sure I act the playboy, but it's in my genes to run around breaking hearts and making promises that I don't intend to keep. In reality, I hate people, I hate society for hating, and I hate society for its need of power. It was society that created me to be what I am today, as far as I'm concerned, everyone can go to hell, because I blame society.
Some day I might run away, or just end it all. Maybe someday I'll have a need to live and begin to believe that life's worth living and "turn over a new leaf" as they say, yeah right.
Now I'm supposed to say, "Maybe someday there'll be no red lights." But it's not true; every day of my life I'll have problems, but at least they'll be only mine to own.
**
So? R&R and no flames, if you want to keep your eyes in your head.
By Untamed_butterflyz's Flayme
Summary: just a little something I put together when my angst muse, Elodea, wanted some attention. Pietro reflects on himself and his life.
Disclaimer: do I really need to write this **sighs and rolls eyes** not mine, not mine, not mine!
AN: written in Pietro POV, rated PG 13 for swearing and angst.
**
I know what they all think of me...
Annoying, bratty, self obsessed; they think my life has been one big game.
They think I've just raced through it.
I'm the fastest teenage boy on the planet, no, the fastest out of anyone, but I've had my share of red lights.
Like my father...that bastard ...
I hate him more than anyone knows, I hate him more than anyone actually, more than mystique or even professor Xavier over at that fancy mansion of theirs, and I know he hates me back just as much, he's always hated me for as long as I can remember.
We were never normal, but I guess that goes without saying, I guess that's what comes with the package of having these stupid powers, to tell you the truth? I think I would rather die than live the life I'm living now.
Except for my speed.
That's probably what's kept me sane all these years, like when my sister was sent away, I relied on my speed to take me away from it all.
I remember just spending hours running, it wouldn't matter where I ended up, sometimes I would travel miles subconsciously, I still do, and then, when I'm running, it's the only time I feel really alive.
The only time I'm real.
When I was younger, before I had my powers, I didn't have any way to escape my life, I always felt as if my life wasn't my own, as if I had no control over my own thoughts or feelings.
I didn't.
My father, Magneto, sir as he now commands me to address him, beat me a lot. He said I was useless and good for nothing and a waste of his time, he once even fucking said I didn't deserve to live.
But then things changed.
When my powers emerged he started acting all fatherly, trying to "make up for lost time" as he bluntly put it. Wasted time was more like it. But I didn't buy into his bullshit; all he had ever wanted was power, now he needed me to help him obtain it. I vowed to myself to never become a victim of him or of anyone.
I broke my vow.
I ended up destroying a lot of things while helping him, lives, families, "It's all for the good of your kind my son." Good of our kind my ass! I wanted to stop it all, I wanted to get away, but again I had lost control of my own body, it was like he had programmed me into the psyche that all of our killing was fine, that violence was okay, after all, it was what I had lived with my whole life.
The only person who ever knew how I felt about him and his fucking talk of "To have peace there must be war" crap, was Wanda.
She's my only sibling, and my twin at that; I used to think that being a twin was a special bond, one that couldn't be broken, that's what I had heard, from everyone and everything.
I guess I was wrong.
She hates me now, not without reason though; I left her in an insane asylum for eight years, without so much as a goodbye. I hated myself for so long after that, I stayed up thinking about it every fucking night for the next three months, my father kept spouting his almighty in the vein of God crap! He said it was for her own good, the idea of "You parents are your protectors and everything they do is out of love" and all that shit was still wired into my mind I was too young and stupid to see the truth.
She stood up to him.
Her powers were too great and she was too stubborn to let him stand in her way, so he made fifteen security guards armed with guns and cattle prods stand in her way instead.
A few years later he formed his first group of disciples, the brotherhood of mutants, we weren't much of a brotherhood, we called each other names, laughed when things went wrong for someone.
Lance tried to seem like a leader; he tried to act all "tough guy" when ever anyone was around, he gave the orders and fought the strongest enemies, when he was really messed up probably more than any of us.
Except for Todd.
We would pick on him the most, and though he was actually the first of us recruited, and should have been the leader by order, we still treated him like shit, he put up with it even though he didn't have to, he acts weak and defenseless but I know he's stronger then he lets on. I saw him in a fight once, not someone about to pulverize him, but a real honest to god fight, I don't know what this guy said that made him so upset, but I'd never seen him be so violent.
Freddy used to be a side show act for a monster truck show, that's basically all I know about him, every time somebody laughs he assumes it's about him, I guess the crowds gave it to him pretty rough.
Rouge only stayed with us for about a week, then she got all google eyed after summers as went off, she always put up a shield of dark makeup and clothes to seemingly "Mask her inner anguish" but she didn't really know pain, she didn't know hate or loss in the way the rest of us did. That's why she left.
Tabby just needed a place to cool off before she headed back, we never really expected her to stay; she loves the comfortable life too much.
She needed that place, and those people who all drape lies around themselves like badges of honor, who all wear masks to hide their hate, they know they can never win, even baldy knows it, but they keep fighting, like some day it'll make some sort of difference.
Every war is a lost war, even if you are victorious you loose in a way. The battle we're fighting is for a lost cause, and hundreds will die because of need.
Everything starts and ends with need.
For magneto it's power, he thinks he needs it so desperately he's willing to destroy everything to achieve it. For professor X, it's the need to feel right, he needs the authority over his mindless x-men to feel complete, so he leads them into a battle they wont win, and they love him for it. All of them are so dependent on his system of control that they'd go mad without it.
Every living person needs something they love, or else what's the point of living.
Something...or someone.
For lace its kitty, for Fred its jean, for toad it's .ugh. my sister.
I don't need someone to make me happy, sure I act the playboy, but it's in my genes to run around breaking hearts and making promises that I don't intend to keep. In reality, I hate people, I hate society for hating, and I hate society for its need of power. It was society that created me to be what I am today, as far as I'm concerned, everyone can go to hell, because I blame society.
Some day I might run away, or just end it all. Maybe someday I'll have a need to live and begin to believe that life's worth living and "turn over a new leaf" as they say, yeah right.
Now I'm supposed to say, "Maybe someday there'll be no red lights." But it's not true; every day of my life I'll have problems, but at least they'll be only mine to own.
**
So? R&R and no flames, if you want to keep your eyes in your head.