Do Not Speak
Chapter 9
By Kiddo
Information:
seaQuest, Lucas Wolenczak. doesn't belong to me. I'm not making any money with this story; it's only for entertainment.
The song "To say goodbye" originally is not written in English. The original one is German and is called "Abschied nehmen" by Xavier Naidoo. It is a beautiful sad song and was not that easy to translate. But I tried as always my best. I posted the song in English and in German. If any of you is able to understand German please read the German one, it is much better than my translation.
A spezial THANKS goes to my beta KatKnits00 and Aquarius, jewels03, K. Presson and Shi-Nom for their reviews.
***************************************************************************
Nathan Bridger stood in front of Lucas` cabin and knocked at the door. He could hear loud music from inside, he knocked again, but still there was no answer. Bridger thought the boy couldn't hear him because of the music.
So he decided to enter the cabin of his youngest crewmember.
Lucas sat on his bed, listening to the music. Seeing the Captain he nodded his head. Bridger nodded back and sat next to the teenager and listened with him to the song.
Darwin watched the two through the Aqua Tube.
**************************
And Yesterday I got the message. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Und gestern drang die Nachricht dann zu mir.)
I'm not sure, but it dismembered me, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Ich weiß nicht, aber es zerriss mich schier,)
Nobody was able to tell me how it happened. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Denn keiner kann mir sagen, wie es geschah.)
None of our people had been there. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Keiner unsrer Leute war mehr da.)
You layed quite good, I was told, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Du lagst ganz gut, das hat man mir gesagt,)
Why didn't I ever ask you by myself? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Warum hab ich dich nie selbst danach gefragt?)
You could have become a pretty big one, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Du hättest ein Großer werden können,)
But in any way I begrudged you that. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Aber irgendwie wollte ich dir das nicht gönnen.
*
And I wanted to say goodbye, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Und ich wollte noch Abschied nehmen,)
I never will forgive myself for this! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Dass werd' ich mir nie vergeben!)
Oh, how could you go away from us? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Mann, wie konntest du von uns gehen?)
Now I never should see you again! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Jetzt soll ich dich nie mehr sehn!)
*
Forgive me all the things I've said, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Verzeih mir all die Dinge die ich sagte,)
Only because there has been something bothering me. ~~~~~~~~~~(nur weil mich wieder irgendetwas plagte.)
Forgive me and the guys for having not been there, ~~~~~~~~~~~~(Verzeih mir und den Jungs, dass wir nicht da warn,)
Forgive me that I couldn't handle it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Vergib mir, dass ich nicht mit all dem klar kam.)
*
And I wanted to say goodbye, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Und ich wollte noch Abschied nehmen,)
I never will forgive myself for this! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Dass werd' ich mir nie vergeben!)
Oh, how could you go away from us? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Mann, wie konntest du von uns gehen?)
Now I never should see you again! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Jetzt soll ich dich nie mehr sehn!)
*
And I wanted to say goodbye, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Und ich wollte noch Abschied nehmen,)
I never will forgive myself for this! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Dass werd' ich mir nie vergeben!)
Oh, how could you go away from us? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Mann, wie konntest du von uns gehen?)
Now I never should see you again! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Jetzt soll ich dich nie mehr sehn!)
*
What will we do without our hero? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Was machen wir jetzt ohne unseren Held?)
We miss you and I don't care of all the big money! ~~~~~~~~~~~ (Wir vermissen dich und ich scheiß aufs große Geld!)
You are gone what a darned nuisance, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Du bist weg was nützt der ganze Mist,)
My little brother will be missed forever! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Mein kleiner Bruder wird für immer vermisst.)
*
And I wanted to say goodbye, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Und ich wollte noch Abschied nehmen,)
I never will forgive myself for this! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Dass werd' ich mir nie vergeben!)
Oh, how could you go away from us? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Mann, wie konntest du von uns gehen?)
Now I never should see you again! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Jetzt soll ich dich nie mehr sehn!)
*
And I wanted to say goodbye, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Und ich wollte noch Abschied nehmen,)
I never will forgive myself for this! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Dass werd' ich mir nie vergeben!)
Oh, how could you go away from us? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Mann, wie konntest du von uns gehen?)
Now I never should see you again, never see again! ~~~~~~~~~~~~(Jetzt soll ich dich nie mehr sehn, nie mehr sehn!)
*
To say goodbye ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Abschied nehmen)
*
Oh, how could you go away from us? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Mann wie konntest du von uns gehen?)
Now I will never see you again! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Jetzt soll ich dich nie mehr sehen!)
*
We miss you! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Wir vermissen dich!)
*
What will we do now? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Was machen wir jetzt?)
*
We miss you! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Wir vermissen dich!)
We miss you! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Wir vermissen dich!)
*
We miss you! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Wir vermissen dich!)
I miss you! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Ich vermisse dich!)
*********************
When the last notes of the song finished Lucas looked at the Captain. "Will I have to testify at the trial?"
Bridger shook his head. "I spoke with Admiral Noyce about this. Before I forget, he said hello to you. We both are sure that the evidence on the video and a print of your teeth will be enough."
The teenager looked relieved. "That's good, I don't think I would be able to face them."
For a moment they both fell into silence.
"I'm glad that you decided to speak again."
The computer genius shrugged with his shoulders. "It was really hard to speak Captain, and it isn't much easier now. But I had to do it. I couldn't allow them to get away so easily. I want them to get what they deserve."
Nathan nodded his head. "I can understand."
"I really have to force myself to speak. This was different in the past. I talked so easily, most of the time without even thinking. I even got myself into trouble sometimes because of this. One day my mother told me that not all people think the same way or as fast as I do. She said I had to pay attention to what I say to people I have never met before. It was some of the best advise I got. From that day I haven't had so many problems with other people."
Bridger smiled. "I believe in this being a very good advise. We all have to be careful when we met a stranger."
"You know what really is strange? I know that I did the right thing when I refused to give them the password. My dad wanted this from me and the formula is a very dangerous one. With this formula a person would be able to kill everyone on the planet, all the animals and all the plants. Everything can be killed with it. Our whole planet."
Bridger felt a large knot forming in his stomach at the thought of the formula falling into the wrong hands. He wanted to say something but didn't know what.
Lucas continued, "It was so important that they didn't get the formula. I know I did the right thing, but it doesn't feel that way. I feel like I let my parents down, like I'm the one to blame for their deaths."
Bridger took Lucas hands in his own hands and directly looked into his big blue eyes. "You haven't let your parents down. You did what your father wanted you to do. You made the right decision. I know that they are very, very proud of you."
Lucas slowly nodded his head, his voice cracking. "I miss them so much." The teenager had held his tears back for a long time, but now they were starting to pool in his eyes. "It hurts so much."
Bridger took Lucas in his arms and rocked him, while rubbing his back to calm him down. He stroked the boy's soft blond hair. "I know that you miss them and that the pain feels unbearable" The Captain had lost his son Robert and his wife Carol, so he knew the boys` feelings and what he was going through. "It is alright Kiddo, let it out." Bridger was glad that the teenager finally had shown his emotions. He had held them back way to long.
Twenty minutes later Lucas let go of the Captain. He tried to wipe his tears away with his hands. "Will it always hurt this much?"
Bridger nodded his head. "You will miss your parents forever, your whole life. But one day the pain will change. You will be able to think of them and it will be happy memories. You will think of the wonderful times you had which each other."
The teenager tried again to make his tears go away. "I wished I could see them one more time and tell them that I love them."
Captain Bridger smiled warmly at the boy. "They know this Kiddo, they know it and just as strongly as you love them, they love you, too."
"I wasn't able to say good bye to them. I was in the hospital when the funeral was held. I wished I had been at the funeral."
Nathan looked Lucas deep in his eyes. "I promise you, the next time we are able to get away from the boat, I will take you to visit their graves myself."
The teenager gave the Captain a smile. " Do you know how intelligent you are?"
Bridger looked confused. "What?"
"You know just the right thing to say. I really feel a little bit better now."
"I'm glad that I can help you." Nathan thought a moment. Was it the right time to ask the boy? "I told you that I spoke with Admiral Noyce."
Lucas nodded his head. "Yes."
"We both are of the same opinion. We believe it's not right that the UEO has the custody of you."
Lucas nodded. "I know. But Aunt Audrey and I can't be around each other. We're like fire and water. Don't get me wrong - we can live together for a few days in the same house. We are able to go out of our way and can be polite to each other. But it only lasts for a few days. We can't live together for much longer."
The Captain shook his head. "I meant something different."
"And what?" The teenager asked confused.
"I want to get custody of you, to be honest I want to adopt you. What do you say?" Bridger looked apprehensively at Lucas.
"Oh! You really want to do this?"
Bridger smiled. "No, every night I run all over my boat and ask every member of my crew if I can adopt them. Yes I want to do it."
"Thanks."
Bridger looked at the teenager. "Oh Lucas help me, I'm getting older and older. Does this mean no thank you or yes?"
The teen laughed at the Captain. "It means yes. It's really nice that you want to do this for me."
Bridger smiled a smile that lit up his whole face. "I'm not as nice as you think. This is just selfish. I don't want to be alone the next shore leave and I need someone who keeps me young. Also I don't want anyone else to get custody of you. I know the crew of the seaQuest doesn't want that either. Because they don't want a jealous and depressed Captain, which I would be and I would end up giving them too much work and I would have them running all over the whole boat every hour."
Lucas thought about this. He could see it all very clearly. Suddenly he started to laugh. Only a few seconds later the Captain laughed, too.
TO BE CONTINUID...
Just one more chapter left...
Chapter 9
By Kiddo
Information:
seaQuest, Lucas Wolenczak. doesn't belong to me. I'm not making any money with this story; it's only for entertainment.
The song "To say goodbye" originally is not written in English. The original one is German and is called "Abschied nehmen" by Xavier Naidoo. It is a beautiful sad song and was not that easy to translate. But I tried as always my best. I posted the song in English and in German. If any of you is able to understand German please read the German one, it is much better than my translation.
A spezial THANKS goes to my beta KatKnits00 and Aquarius, jewels03, K. Presson and Shi-Nom for their reviews.
***************************************************************************
Nathan Bridger stood in front of Lucas` cabin and knocked at the door. He could hear loud music from inside, he knocked again, but still there was no answer. Bridger thought the boy couldn't hear him because of the music.
So he decided to enter the cabin of his youngest crewmember.
Lucas sat on his bed, listening to the music. Seeing the Captain he nodded his head. Bridger nodded back and sat next to the teenager and listened with him to the song.
Darwin watched the two through the Aqua Tube.
**************************
And Yesterday I got the message. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Und gestern drang die Nachricht dann zu mir.)
I'm not sure, but it dismembered me, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Ich weiß nicht, aber es zerriss mich schier,)
Nobody was able to tell me how it happened. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Denn keiner kann mir sagen, wie es geschah.)
None of our people had been there. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Keiner unsrer Leute war mehr da.)
You layed quite good, I was told, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Du lagst ganz gut, das hat man mir gesagt,)
Why didn't I ever ask you by myself? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Warum hab ich dich nie selbst danach gefragt?)
You could have become a pretty big one, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Du hättest ein Großer werden können,)
But in any way I begrudged you that. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Aber irgendwie wollte ich dir das nicht gönnen.
*
And I wanted to say goodbye, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Und ich wollte noch Abschied nehmen,)
I never will forgive myself for this! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Dass werd' ich mir nie vergeben!)
Oh, how could you go away from us? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Mann, wie konntest du von uns gehen?)
Now I never should see you again! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Jetzt soll ich dich nie mehr sehn!)
*
Forgive me all the things I've said, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Verzeih mir all die Dinge die ich sagte,)
Only because there has been something bothering me. ~~~~~~~~~~(nur weil mich wieder irgendetwas plagte.)
Forgive me and the guys for having not been there, ~~~~~~~~~~~~(Verzeih mir und den Jungs, dass wir nicht da warn,)
Forgive me that I couldn't handle it. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Vergib mir, dass ich nicht mit all dem klar kam.)
*
And I wanted to say goodbye, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Und ich wollte noch Abschied nehmen,)
I never will forgive myself for this! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Dass werd' ich mir nie vergeben!)
Oh, how could you go away from us? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Mann, wie konntest du von uns gehen?)
Now I never should see you again! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Jetzt soll ich dich nie mehr sehn!)
*
And I wanted to say goodbye, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Und ich wollte noch Abschied nehmen,)
I never will forgive myself for this! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Dass werd' ich mir nie vergeben!)
Oh, how could you go away from us? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Mann, wie konntest du von uns gehen?)
Now I never should see you again! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Jetzt soll ich dich nie mehr sehn!)
*
What will we do without our hero? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Was machen wir jetzt ohne unseren Held?)
We miss you and I don't care of all the big money! ~~~~~~~~~~~ (Wir vermissen dich und ich scheiß aufs große Geld!)
You are gone what a darned nuisance, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Du bist weg was nützt der ganze Mist,)
My little brother will be missed forever! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Mein kleiner Bruder wird für immer vermisst.)
*
And I wanted to say goodbye, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Und ich wollte noch Abschied nehmen,)
I never will forgive myself for this! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Dass werd' ich mir nie vergeben!)
Oh, how could you go away from us? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Mann, wie konntest du von uns gehen?)
Now I never should see you again! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Jetzt soll ich dich nie mehr sehn!)
*
And I wanted to say goodbye, ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Und ich wollte noch Abschied nehmen,)
I never will forgive myself for this! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Dass werd' ich mir nie vergeben!)
Oh, how could you go away from us? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Mann, wie konntest du von uns gehen?)
Now I never should see you again, never see again! ~~~~~~~~~~~~(Jetzt soll ich dich nie mehr sehn, nie mehr sehn!)
*
To say goodbye ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Abschied nehmen)
*
Oh, how could you go away from us? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Mann wie konntest du von uns gehen?)
Now I will never see you again! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Jetzt soll ich dich nie mehr sehen!)
*
We miss you! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Wir vermissen dich!)
*
What will we do now? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Was machen wir jetzt?)
*
We miss you! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Wir vermissen dich!)
We miss you! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Wir vermissen dich!)
*
We miss you! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Wir vermissen dich!)
I miss you! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~(Ich vermisse dich!)
*********************
When the last notes of the song finished Lucas looked at the Captain. "Will I have to testify at the trial?"
Bridger shook his head. "I spoke with Admiral Noyce about this. Before I forget, he said hello to you. We both are sure that the evidence on the video and a print of your teeth will be enough."
The teenager looked relieved. "That's good, I don't think I would be able to face them."
For a moment they both fell into silence.
"I'm glad that you decided to speak again."
The computer genius shrugged with his shoulders. "It was really hard to speak Captain, and it isn't much easier now. But I had to do it. I couldn't allow them to get away so easily. I want them to get what they deserve."
Nathan nodded his head. "I can understand."
"I really have to force myself to speak. This was different in the past. I talked so easily, most of the time without even thinking. I even got myself into trouble sometimes because of this. One day my mother told me that not all people think the same way or as fast as I do. She said I had to pay attention to what I say to people I have never met before. It was some of the best advise I got. From that day I haven't had so many problems with other people."
Bridger smiled. "I believe in this being a very good advise. We all have to be careful when we met a stranger."
"You know what really is strange? I know that I did the right thing when I refused to give them the password. My dad wanted this from me and the formula is a very dangerous one. With this formula a person would be able to kill everyone on the planet, all the animals and all the plants. Everything can be killed with it. Our whole planet."
Bridger felt a large knot forming in his stomach at the thought of the formula falling into the wrong hands. He wanted to say something but didn't know what.
Lucas continued, "It was so important that they didn't get the formula. I know I did the right thing, but it doesn't feel that way. I feel like I let my parents down, like I'm the one to blame for their deaths."
Bridger took Lucas hands in his own hands and directly looked into his big blue eyes. "You haven't let your parents down. You did what your father wanted you to do. You made the right decision. I know that they are very, very proud of you."
Lucas slowly nodded his head, his voice cracking. "I miss them so much." The teenager had held his tears back for a long time, but now they were starting to pool in his eyes. "It hurts so much."
Bridger took Lucas in his arms and rocked him, while rubbing his back to calm him down. He stroked the boy's soft blond hair. "I know that you miss them and that the pain feels unbearable" The Captain had lost his son Robert and his wife Carol, so he knew the boys` feelings and what he was going through. "It is alright Kiddo, let it out." Bridger was glad that the teenager finally had shown his emotions. He had held them back way to long.
Twenty minutes later Lucas let go of the Captain. He tried to wipe his tears away with his hands. "Will it always hurt this much?"
Bridger nodded his head. "You will miss your parents forever, your whole life. But one day the pain will change. You will be able to think of them and it will be happy memories. You will think of the wonderful times you had which each other."
The teenager tried again to make his tears go away. "I wished I could see them one more time and tell them that I love them."
Captain Bridger smiled warmly at the boy. "They know this Kiddo, they know it and just as strongly as you love them, they love you, too."
"I wasn't able to say good bye to them. I was in the hospital when the funeral was held. I wished I had been at the funeral."
Nathan looked Lucas deep in his eyes. "I promise you, the next time we are able to get away from the boat, I will take you to visit their graves myself."
The teenager gave the Captain a smile. " Do you know how intelligent you are?"
Bridger looked confused. "What?"
"You know just the right thing to say. I really feel a little bit better now."
"I'm glad that I can help you." Nathan thought a moment. Was it the right time to ask the boy? "I told you that I spoke with Admiral Noyce."
Lucas nodded his head. "Yes."
"We both are of the same opinion. We believe it's not right that the UEO has the custody of you."
Lucas nodded. "I know. But Aunt Audrey and I can't be around each other. We're like fire and water. Don't get me wrong - we can live together for a few days in the same house. We are able to go out of our way and can be polite to each other. But it only lasts for a few days. We can't live together for much longer."
The Captain shook his head. "I meant something different."
"And what?" The teenager asked confused.
"I want to get custody of you, to be honest I want to adopt you. What do you say?" Bridger looked apprehensively at Lucas.
"Oh! You really want to do this?"
Bridger smiled. "No, every night I run all over my boat and ask every member of my crew if I can adopt them. Yes I want to do it."
"Thanks."
Bridger looked at the teenager. "Oh Lucas help me, I'm getting older and older. Does this mean no thank you or yes?"
The teen laughed at the Captain. "It means yes. It's really nice that you want to do this for me."
Bridger smiled a smile that lit up his whole face. "I'm not as nice as you think. This is just selfish. I don't want to be alone the next shore leave and I need someone who keeps me young. Also I don't want anyone else to get custody of you. I know the crew of the seaQuest doesn't want that either. Because they don't want a jealous and depressed Captain, which I would be and I would end up giving them too much work and I would have them running all over the whole boat every hour."
Lucas thought about this. He could see it all very clearly. Suddenly he started to laugh. Only a few seconds later the Captain laughed, too.
TO BE CONTINUID...
Just one more chapter left...