Summoned
Qui-Gon stood in the middle of the picturesque room, painfully aware of the masters around him who would determine his destiny momentarily. He'd been there only a few times before, both times with his master. He felt rather alone and unprotected. Bowing respectfully to the assembled group, Qui-Gon waited for one of the Council members to speak, breathing slowly.
"A tragedy has befallen the Temple," Riven ni'Faied said quietly, inclining his head towards Qui-Gon. "It is not often we are presented with such a situation, but it is most certainly tragic when it does." Riven was the head of the Council, an older Wookie with silver fur.
"Too old to be a padawan, you are," Yoda said, his ears quivering, "but not ready to be a Knight."
"The Council has discussed and meditated on your situation," a small, female human said, her name Re'naid Sinantil, "as well as consulted with your teachers." She gave a decisive nod towards the young man in the middle of the room. "You will be excused from your final exams. Your teachers have assured us that you display the knowledge required. Instead, you are to assist a student who has been particularly troublesome. Her master is currently a hostage in the civil war on the planet Ieve. You are to be a mentor of sorts to her."
"See if you are ready for the Trials, your assignment will," Yoda said, looking enigmatic. "Learn important lessons, you will. At least, hope this we do." The small Council member looked amused at his last comment.
"We understand your pain, Qui-Gon Jinn, and we sympathize with you. But you must learn to control your feelings and overcome your circumstances if you are to become a Jedi. You will have the information in a few days," Riven said soothingly. Despite his large size and fearsome appearance, the Jedi Master was quiet and pensive, serene and soothing in his role.
"As the Council deems fit," Qui-Gon responded deferentially, although in an emotionless tone. He bowed his head and, upon receiving permission, left the Council chamber.
***
"Uncertain, you are, about your future and your feelings."
Qui-Gon looked up to see Master Yoda in front of him, leaning on his walking stick. He nodded slowly, knowing he could hide very little from the diminutive Master. "I feel emptied, like I have shed my last tear and am incapable of feeling anything else any more. I shouldn't have been as close to my master as I was. I'm afraid if I leave, I won't be able to bring myself to come back."
Yoda sat down next to him on the bench, absorbing the sound that created the ambiance of the Room of a Thousand Fountains. Water flowed with melodic tones, and occasionally the leaves rustled from fan-generated wind. However, the effect was realistic enough. "Regret your bond, you should not. Close to your master you were, and apologize for that you never should."
Qui-Gon shook his head gently. "I feel insufficient for what I'm to become. I thought I could control my emotions, letting them teach me instead of overwhelm me. I feel uncomfortable in the Temple, my home as long as I can remember. There are too many memories here now."
Yoda smiled gently, a rare expression for him. "Listen, you do not. With age, understanding comes. Memories, you will overcome. Grieving, you are. Bad, emotions are not, but painful they can be. Too young to be set loose from your master, you are."
"I'm glad you have confidence in me." Yoda could sense the padawan withdraw into himself, although he didn't know what the younger Jedi was thinking. Qui-Gon's gray-blue eyes became distant as they blurred with unshed tears.
"Proven to me, my confidence is. Anything you can't handle, the Council won't give. Fail you, your training will not. Here is the Council and the other Jedi, if need us you do. A little faith, you must have, all that is," Yoda nodded with certainty. He jumped down from the bench, obviously not needing his gimmer stick. "With you always, the Force is." Then he turned and left Qui-Gon alone, fading quickly into the vegetation.
Qui-Gon sighed as he watched Yoda disappear. He lay down on the bench looking up at the blue sky and the artificial sun, although he didn't really see. The Jedi Master's words still tumbled in his head, making little sense. Yoda usually talked in riddles, unless he simply used his walking stick to make a point.
His words didn't make sense. Yoda said that he shouldn't regret his bond with his master, how close they were. Yet now, the grief from losing him threatened to sweep Qui-Gon away. He was afraid to completely let go of them, for fear they would dominate him until he couldn't take it any more. Qui-Gon Jinn knew, in that deepest place within himself where he could admit such things, he was afraid love, to trust, another person for fear of being betrayed and left alone again. That seemed to be Yoda's message, though; he shouldn't regret what he had, even if it caused him suffering now. Perhaps that was why he had to connect to someone else now.
The padawan could sense that this was part of his training. He was emotionally imbalanced, an uncomfortable situation for someone who was suppose to trust his feelings insofar as to use them to base other judgments upon. But he could only trust those feelings if they were pure and unbiased by other things… such as the death of one's master. This student's master was also lost to her. How was he supposed to help her if he couldn't even help himself?
Yoda said he trusted Qui-Gon's training. That seemed to be the least enigmatic of his statements. Qui-Gon personally agreed with part of that statement; he believed his training would not let him down. The hindrance was not his training but himself. Did he have the discipline and strength to put this behind him to make decisions with a clear and neutral mind? Could he separate himself from his past to be able to take in the Force and not have memories of his master distract him? That's what made it part of his training, to see if he was prepared to submit to his Trials. It was the culmination of everything he was supposed to have learned from the Jedi, the ultimate final. However, the consequence to this wasn't mere failing status, but possibly destroying another person's life. It was enough to be daunting to anyone, let alone a newly orphaned padawan. He had to succeed, for himself, for the student, for the Council, but most of all for his master. Qui-Gon couldn't let Riley Giovan down.
Qui-Gon stood in the middle of the picturesque room, painfully aware of the masters around him who would determine his destiny momentarily. He'd been there only a few times before, both times with his master. He felt rather alone and unprotected. Bowing respectfully to the assembled group, Qui-Gon waited for one of the Council members to speak, breathing slowly.
"A tragedy has befallen the Temple," Riven ni'Faied said quietly, inclining his head towards Qui-Gon. "It is not often we are presented with such a situation, but it is most certainly tragic when it does." Riven was the head of the Council, an older Wookie with silver fur.
"Too old to be a padawan, you are," Yoda said, his ears quivering, "but not ready to be a Knight."
"The Council has discussed and meditated on your situation," a small, female human said, her name Re'naid Sinantil, "as well as consulted with your teachers." She gave a decisive nod towards the young man in the middle of the room. "You will be excused from your final exams. Your teachers have assured us that you display the knowledge required. Instead, you are to assist a student who has been particularly troublesome. Her master is currently a hostage in the civil war on the planet Ieve. You are to be a mentor of sorts to her."
"See if you are ready for the Trials, your assignment will," Yoda said, looking enigmatic. "Learn important lessons, you will. At least, hope this we do." The small Council member looked amused at his last comment.
"We understand your pain, Qui-Gon Jinn, and we sympathize with you. But you must learn to control your feelings and overcome your circumstances if you are to become a Jedi. You will have the information in a few days," Riven said soothingly. Despite his large size and fearsome appearance, the Jedi Master was quiet and pensive, serene and soothing in his role.
"As the Council deems fit," Qui-Gon responded deferentially, although in an emotionless tone. He bowed his head and, upon receiving permission, left the Council chamber.
***
"Uncertain, you are, about your future and your feelings."
Qui-Gon looked up to see Master Yoda in front of him, leaning on his walking stick. He nodded slowly, knowing he could hide very little from the diminutive Master. "I feel emptied, like I have shed my last tear and am incapable of feeling anything else any more. I shouldn't have been as close to my master as I was. I'm afraid if I leave, I won't be able to bring myself to come back."
Yoda sat down next to him on the bench, absorbing the sound that created the ambiance of the Room of a Thousand Fountains. Water flowed with melodic tones, and occasionally the leaves rustled from fan-generated wind. However, the effect was realistic enough. "Regret your bond, you should not. Close to your master you were, and apologize for that you never should."
Qui-Gon shook his head gently. "I feel insufficient for what I'm to become. I thought I could control my emotions, letting them teach me instead of overwhelm me. I feel uncomfortable in the Temple, my home as long as I can remember. There are too many memories here now."
Yoda smiled gently, a rare expression for him. "Listen, you do not. With age, understanding comes. Memories, you will overcome. Grieving, you are. Bad, emotions are not, but painful they can be. Too young to be set loose from your master, you are."
"I'm glad you have confidence in me." Yoda could sense the padawan withdraw into himself, although he didn't know what the younger Jedi was thinking. Qui-Gon's gray-blue eyes became distant as they blurred with unshed tears.
"Proven to me, my confidence is. Anything you can't handle, the Council won't give. Fail you, your training will not. Here is the Council and the other Jedi, if need us you do. A little faith, you must have, all that is," Yoda nodded with certainty. He jumped down from the bench, obviously not needing his gimmer stick. "With you always, the Force is." Then he turned and left Qui-Gon alone, fading quickly into the vegetation.
Qui-Gon sighed as he watched Yoda disappear. He lay down on the bench looking up at the blue sky and the artificial sun, although he didn't really see. The Jedi Master's words still tumbled in his head, making little sense. Yoda usually talked in riddles, unless he simply used his walking stick to make a point.
His words didn't make sense. Yoda said that he shouldn't regret his bond with his master, how close they were. Yet now, the grief from losing him threatened to sweep Qui-Gon away. He was afraid to completely let go of them, for fear they would dominate him until he couldn't take it any more. Qui-Gon Jinn knew, in that deepest place within himself where he could admit such things, he was afraid love, to trust, another person for fear of being betrayed and left alone again. That seemed to be Yoda's message, though; he shouldn't regret what he had, even if it caused him suffering now. Perhaps that was why he had to connect to someone else now.
The padawan could sense that this was part of his training. He was emotionally imbalanced, an uncomfortable situation for someone who was suppose to trust his feelings insofar as to use them to base other judgments upon. But he could only trust those feelings if they were pure and unbiased by other things… such as the death of one's master. This student's master was also lost to her. How was he supposed to help her if he couldn't even help himself?
Yoda said he trusted Qui-Gon's training. That seemed to be the least enigmatic of his statements. Qui-Gon personally agreed with part of that statement; he believed his training would not let him down. The hindrance was not his training but himself. Did he have the discipline and strength to put this behind him to make decisions with a clear and neutral mind? Could he separate himself from his past to be able to take in the Force and not have memories of his master distract him? That's what made it part of his training, to see if he was prepared to submit to his Trials. It was the culmination of everything he was supposed to have learned from the Jedi, the ultimate final. However, the consequence to this wasn't mere failing status, but possibly destroying another person's life. It was enough to be daunting to anyone, let alone a newly orphaned padawan. He had to succeed, for himself, for the student, for the Council, but most of all for his master. Qui-Gon couldn't let Riley Giovan down.