Aqua Phoenix1 you absolute genius you saw right through my evil plan. How
dare you, you clever little sod. You get a Matrix wet fish and a percent in
this movie.
Dang it. I was really going to enjoy dumping that little joke on you people oh well I've been foiled. The word Parodie was mentioned once at the beginning and wasn't said ever again because of the typo. You gain 0% in my next book for profit and a Matrix fish that you can collect as soon as you next plug into the Matrix ;) -------
The factory was dark and depressing. Smiths stood at every corner of the room staring down at Trinity, who is tied to a moving conveyer belt with a laser moving slowly towards her and a meat grinder down towards the end of the track.
"Help!" cries Trinity trying to untie her bonds; she stretches furiously from side to side the black shiny leather reflecting like a coal- smothered mirror.
"It is useless to resist" said Smith
"Your going to Die and we're going to enjoy watching you die" laughed another manically *Neo suddenly smashes down through the window above with Uzi machine guns in each hand in slow motion. Bullets spray across the room in all directions as he spins, with glass tinkling to the ground, most of the Smiths are eliminated quickly (in slow motion) but one remains, a Super Smith dodging through the bullets he stops and stands opposite Neo blocking his path from Trinity*
"Mr Anderson" said Smith walking prominently forward "You look surprised to see me. again . again"
"That is getting really old" bolstered Neo in a hoarse voice
*Smith takes out two Uzi machine guns and points them forward, Neo does the same*
They face off circling round each other.
"Your empty" whispers Smith
Neo pauses looking with intelligent eyes at the other "So are you"
"Actually. no I'm not"
Ratatatatatatatatatatatatata Neo leaps back dodging a hail of bullets that draw a yin-yang on the back wall. He proceeds to leap off columns in slow motion bullets only missing his head by mere centimeters. Concrete sprays across the room as bullets miss their destinations.
Smith stops panting for breath. Neo lands softly to the ground "Now your empty" smiled Neo with a knowing look.
Ratatatatatatatata Neo jumps straight up into their air with a worried expression and runs up a pillar and upside down on the roof. The bullets stop and Neo lands panting to the floor "Are you empty now?"
Ratatatatatatatatatatatata Neo stops the bullets with his hand and they pause in mid air before falling to the ground majestically with full orchestra music.
"Ok quit the guns already" panted Neo leaning forward "I've got stomach cramp"
Smith growls and straightens his suit cracking the bones in his neck "I'm going to enjoy watching you die Mr Anderson" he throws the guns to the floor and cracks his knuckles.
(Back in the meeting room)
Sentinel B: Chicken, does anyone have the slightest idea what it tastes like?
Architect: I knew this was going to come up sometime
Sentinel C: Chicken tastes like everything
Smith: Chicken tastes like Mr Anderson
Sentinel A: Who is Mr Anderson anyway?
Architect: Oh that's easy:
Sentinel A: Who on earth is that?
Architect: A random link I got off Google nothing more
Machine Mainframe: I AM GROWING IMPTATIENT WITH YOUR BLUNDERING ABOUT
Smith: Yes quite right master, now lets get on with more important matters, I suggest that I get put in charge of all military activity and exits and entrances to the Matrix
Sentinel B: What a good idea, Smith in charge of Military
Architect: Then what the heck do I do?
Smith: Oh you do the same as last time, just sit in that chair for a couple of centuries watching telly until the one comes along *aside* heh but this time he won't be coming along.
Architect: I think that's horribly unfair, since when did you get the right to command the military anyway?
Smith: I have a gun you don't so shut up
Sentinel B: Be quiet Architect your causing problems, if Smith wants to control the military then I don't see any problems with that
*Smith sticks his tongue out at the Architect*
Sentinel A: You have a gun?
*smith takes out a uzi automatic*
Smith: Nah it's a water pistol
Sentinel B: I thought we couldn't have guns in this place?
Sentinel C: Nah, it's a loading program, we can create anything we want, it just gets put on the Matrix hardrive temporarily.
Architect: Cool *everyone is suddenly sitting in the Bahamas in deck chairs*
Smith: I want a laser cannon *is flattened*
Sentinel C: I want jelly *is flattened by jelly*
Sentinel A: I want a luxury sea side resort and swimming pool
Sentinel C: Be careful though. if you ask for too much it can severely drain the memory resources of the Matrix, and can cause slow down and other problems
Smith: I want a military army base an island a yacht and every luxury in the world
(Back in the Matrix)
Everything ripples with Photoshop effects. Neo crumples to the ground and so does Smith, the laser stops firing and the meat grinders shut down. "What's going on!?" whispered Neo collapsed on the floor a strong ringing in his head just like in Xmen two another cheesy but fun film if you've seen it. Smith groans and tries to crawl towards Neo but he collapses in the process and slumps to the floor.
(Inside the Nebucaneza)
"Neo!" shouts Morpheus into the receiver "Get out of there quickly! Something's wrong! Link, get them an exit now!"
"I'm trying I'm trying just give me a minute!" panted Link pressing buttons on the keyboard, he clutched the silver chain tightly. The code suddenly stopped. The screen went black and Link froze looking at the picture before him.
"No!" he whispered "it can't be."
*This program has performed an Ilegal operation and will be terminated, press Ctrl Alt + Delete to restart of any other key to try and continue, although your chances of this are slim sucker*
"Oh my god" whispered Morpheus peering through his shades.
(back in the Bahamas at the sea side resort and army base)
Machine Mainframe: THE SYSTEM'S CRASHED YOU IDIOTS! WE'LL HAVE TO REBOOT NOW!!, HAS ANYONE GOT A PEN THAT I CAN STICK IN THE RESET BUTTON!?
Smith: Ok so maybe we were being a little to over imaginative
Machine Mainframe: I'D SAY, YOU USED UP OVER TWENTY BILLION TETRABYTES OF RAM YOU MORONS!! NOW WHERE WAS IT. A HERE WE ARE, LETS SEE IF WE CAN REBOOT *click*
(Matrix)
Neo gets up groaning "What was that?" he whispers, he stands to his feet and looks about him. Smith does the same, Trinity gives a yelp and the laser suddenly starts firing again.
"Neo!" comes Morhpeus' voice from the receiver "Are you ok!? Something really strange happened back there! I thought you were a gonner!"
"He was" laughed Smith preparing a mega punch he flies forward.
Neo attacks with his own kick and the two meet in the middle with a huge photoshop blur.
(Meeting room)
Architect: I say that we disable all martial arts that will stop those stupid rebels from doing anything rash
Sentinel B: Good idea, I'll put that into effect now
(Matrix)
Neo and Smith slump to the ground groaning.
"I've forgotten Kung Fu!" he moaned
"I've forgotten Jujutsu!" complained Smith. They got up and tried to face each other. Neo swings a punch misses spins in a circle and falls over. Smith tries to kick him while he's down but slips on a banana skin and collapses. They crawl away and face each other off from a distance.
"It's no use" sighed Neo "I'll have to resort to a verbal assault"
"You can't possibly win, your name alone is an insult" laughed Smith
"You have the humor of a constipated Camel" replied Neo doing a pose
"Your breath is like garlic and your face like an Baboon's bottom"
Neo collapses to the ground as if wounded.
"You see" smiled Smith coming slowly forward in a swagger "I have the better arsenal"
"Oh yes of course you do, I couldn't miss your behind if I turned 180 degrees in the other direction"
Smith collapses to the floor in pain "Ouch! Insult combined with sarcasm! How?"
"I'm the one" smiled Neo coming forward.
Smith groaned and stood to his feet "No your not" he hissed picking up an iron bar he brought it into his hands "Your just a normal human being now Eat Irony!" he slams it into Neo's face hard who is sent flying across the room and smashes through a wall.
"Not Irony!" whispered Neo blood running down his fore head
"Oh yes" laughed Smith and I've got a whole lot more. cynicalism, sadism, pesimisticism black humor sarcasm irony drollness wit absurdity comedy and satire, now prepare to eat words Wordsworth"
"Arghhhhh!" screams Neo writhing in pain.
(Meeting room)
Architect: I've got a better idea, lets keep martial arts and disable verbal abuses, sticks and stones will break my bones but names never hurt anyone! How can we possibly control the rebels without martial arts?
(Matrix)
Smith opens his mouth and freezes "E = MC squared" he says dryly. Neo widens his eyes in relief.
"I've got a better one" he whispers removing himself from the rubble "Eat my fist" he flies forward and punches Smith through the opposite wall with a crunch.
"I'll take you all with me!" snarled Smith clutching a bomb that happened to be next to him. --------
Will Smith blow them all up and will Trinity get cut and grounded to bits in a big gory mass? Find out in the next billion dollar commission of the Matrix! ---
Help I have being robbed at this moment, if you see a red van with the letters "SWAG" on the side drive past your house please ring the police immediately my vast drugs empire money was all in that truck! They stole my computer! Has anyone got a spare keyboard out there that I could use to write the next movie?
Dang it. I was really going to enjoy dumping that little joke on you people oh well I've been foiled. The word Parodie was mentioned once at the beginning and wasn't said ever again because of the typo. You gain 0% in my next book for profit and a Matrix fish that you can collect as soon as you next plug into the Matrix ;) -------
The factory was dark and depressing. Smiths stood at every corner of the room staring down at Trinity, who is tied to a moving conveyer belt with a laser moving slowly towards her and a meat grinder down towards the end of the track.
"Help!" cries Trinity trying to untie her bonds; she stretches furiously from side to side the black shiny leather reflecting like a coal- smothered mirror.
"It is useless to resist" said Smith
"Your going to Die and we're going to enjoy watching you die" laughed another manically *Neo suddenly smashes down through the window above with Uzi machine guns in each hand in slow motion. Bullets spray across the room in all directions as he spins, with glass tinkling to the ground, most of the Smiths are eliminated quickly (in slow motion) but one remains, a Super Smith dodging through the bullets he stops and stands opposite Neo blocking his path from Trinity*
"Mr Anderson" said Smith walking prominently forward "You look surprised to see me. again . again"
"That is getting really old" bolstered Neo in a hoarse voice
*Smith takes out two Uzi machine guns and points them forward, Neo does the same*
They face off circling round each other.
"Your empty" whispers Smith
Neo pauses looking with intelligent eyes at the other "So are you"
"Actually. no I'm not"
Ratatatatatatatatatatatatata Neo leaps back dodging a hail of bullets that draw a yin-yang on the back wall. He proceeds to leap off columns in slow motion bullets only missing his head by mere centimeters. Concrete sprays across the room as bullets miss their destinations.
Smith stops panting for breath. Neo lands softly to the ground "Now your empty" smiled Neo with a knowing look.
Ratatatatatatatata Neo jumps straight up into their air with a worried expression and runs up a pillar and upside down on the roof. The bullets stop and Neo lands panting to the floor "Are you empty now?"
Ratatatatatatatatatatatata Neo stops the bullets with his hand and they pause in mid air before falling to the ground majestically with full orchestra music.
"Ok quit the guns already" panted Neo leaning forward "I've got stomach cramp"
Smith growls and straightens his suit cracking the bones in his neck "I'm going to enjoy watching you die Mr Anderson" he throws the guns to the floor and cracks his knuckles.
(Back in the meeting room)
Sentinel B: Chicken, does anyone have the slightest idea what it tastes like?
Architect: I knew this was going to come up sometime
Sentinel C: Chicken tastes like everything
Smith: Chicken tastes like Mr Anderson
Sentinel A: Who is Mr Anderson anyway?
Architect: Oh that's easy:
Sentinel A: Who on earth is that?
Architect: A random link I got off Google nothing more
Machine Mainframe: I AM GROWING IMPTATIENT WITH YOUR BLUNDERING ABOUT
Smith: Yes quite right master, now lets get on with more important matters, I suggest that I get put in charge of all military activity and exits and entrances to the Matrix
Sentinel B: What a good idea, Smith in charge of Military
Architect: Then what the heck do I do?
Smith: Oh you do the same as last time, just sit in that chair for a couple of centuries watching telly until the one comes along *aside* heh but this time he won't be coming along.
Architect: I think that's horribly unfair, since when did you get the right to command the military anyway?
Smith: I have a gun you don't so shut up
Sentinel B: Be quiet Architect your causing problems, if Smith wants to control the military then I don't see any problems with that
*Smith sticks his tongue out at the Architect*
Sentinel A: You have a gun?
*smith takes out a uzi automatic*
Smith: Nah it's a water pistol
Sentinel B: I thought we couldn't have guns in this place?
Sentinel C: Nah, it's a loading program, we can create anything we want, it just gets put on the Matrix hardrive temporarily.
Architect: Cool *everyone is suddenly sitting in the Bahamas in deck chairs*
Smith: I want a laser cannon *is flattened*
Sentinel C: I want jelly *is flattened by jelly*
Sentinel A: I want a luxury sea side resort and swimming pool
Sentinel C: Be careful though. if you ask for too much it can severely drain the memory resources of the Matrix, and can cause slow down and other problems
Smith: I want a military army base an island a yacht and every luxury in the world
(Back in the Matrix)
Everything ripples with Photoshop effects. Neo crumples to the ground and so does Smith, the laser stops firing and the meat grinders shut down. "What's going on!?" whispered Neo collapsed on the floor a strong ringing in his head just like in Xmen two another cheesy but fun film if you've seen it. Smith groans and tries to crawl towards Neo but he collapses in the process and slumps to the floor.
(Inside the Nebucaneza)
"Neo!" shouts Morpheus into the receiver "Get out of there quickly! Something's wrong! Link, get them an exit now!"
"I'm trying I'm trying just give me a minute!" panted Link pressing buttons on the keyboard, he clutched the silver chain tightly. The code suddenly stopped. The screen went black and Link froze looking at the picture before him.
"No!" he whispered "it can't be."
*This program has performed an Ilegal operation and will be terminated, press Ctrl Alt + Delete to restart of any other key to try and continue, although your chances of this are slim sucker*
"Oh my god" whispered Morpheus peering through his shades.
(back in the Bahamas at the sea side resort and army base)
Machine Mainframe: THE SYSTEM'S CRASHED YOU IDIOTS! WE'LL HAVE TO REBOOT NOW!!, HAS ANYONE GOT A PEN THAT I CAN STICK IN THE RESET BUTTON!?
Smith: Ok so maybe we were being a little to over imaginative
Machine Mainframe: I'D SAY, YOU USED UP OVER TWENTY BILLION TETRABYTES OF RAM YOU MORONS!! NOW WHERE WAS IT. A HERE WE ARE, LETS SEE IF WE CAN REBOOT *click*
(Matrix)
Neo gets up groaning "What was that?" he whispers, he stands to his feet and looks about him. Smith does the same, Trinity gives a yelp and the laser suddenly starts firing again.
"Neo!" comes Morhpeus' voice from the receiver "Are you ok!? Something really strange happened back there! I thought you were a gonner!"
"He was" laughed Smith preparing a mega punch he flies forward.
Neo attacks with his own kick and the two meet in the middle with a huge photoshop blur.
(Meeting room)
Architect: I say that we disable all martial arts that will stop those stupid rebels from doing anything rash
Sentinel B: Good idea, I'll put that into effect now
(Matrix)
Neo and Smith slump to the ground groaning.
"I've forgotten Kung Fu!" he moaned
"I've forgotten Jujutsu!" complained Smith. They got up and tried to face each other. Neo swings a punch misses spins in a circle and falls over. Smith tries to kick him while he's down but slips on a banana skin and collapses. They crawl away and face each other off from a distance.
"It's no use" sighed Neo "I'll have to resort to a verbal assault"
"You can't possibly win, your name alone is an insult" laughed Smith
"You have the humor of a constipated Camel" replied Neo doing a pose
"Your breath is like garlic and your face like an Baboon's bottom"
Neo collapses to the ground as if wounded.
"You see" smiled Smith coming slowly forward in a swagger "I have the better arsenal"
"Oh yes of course you do, I couldn't miss your behind if I turned 180 degrees in the other direction"
Smith collapses to the floor in pain "Ouch! Insult combined with sarcasm! How?"
"I'm the one" smiled Neo coming forward.
Smith groaned and stood to his feet "No your not" he hissed picking up an iron bar he brought it into his hands "Your just a normal human being now Eat Irony!" he slams it into Neo's face hard who is sent flying across the room and smashes through a wall.
"Not Irony!" whispered Neo blood running down his fore head
"Oh yes" laughed Smith and I've got a whole lot more. cynicalism, sadism, pesimisticism black humor sarcasm irony drollness wit absurdity comedy and satire, now prepare to eat words Wordsworth"
"Arghhhhh!" screams Neo writhing in pain.
(Meeting room)
Architect: I've got a better idea, lets keep martial arts and disable verbal abuses, sticks and stones will break my bones but names never hurt anyone! How can we possibly control the rebels without martial arts?
(Matrix)
Smith opens his mouth and freezes "E = MC squared" he says dryly. Neo widens his eyes in relief.
"I've got a better one" he whispers removing himself from the rubble "Eat my fist" he flies forward and punches Smith through the opposite wall with a crunch.
"I'll take you all with me!" snarled Smith clutching a bomb that happened to be next to him. --------
Will Smith blow them all up and will Trinity get cut and grounded to bits in a big gory mass? Find out in the next billion dollar commission of the Matrix! ---
Help I have being robbed at this moment, if you see a red van with the letters "SWAG" on the side drive past your house please ring the police immediately my vast drugs empire money was all in that truck! They stole my computer! Has anyone got a spare keyboard out there that I could use to write the next movie?