Matrix: With a Huge Plot Twist
Neo: Smith, that's a fish not a bomb Smith: Hahahaha you fool! While you were contemplating whether or not I had a real bomb, you sealed Trinity's fate! Neo: Nooooooooooo!
*Spluge*
And that was the moment that Trinity died. She died and everyone was sad, she was mourned for a thousand years, for more than that in fact. People came every day to the grave in Zion and laid down new flowers and paid their respects. On the stone it said "Trinity: She gave her life to the Spam industry" nobody of course was sure what that meant, but it sounded spiritual and perhaps had some deep inner meaning. Some philosophical content like the tree that falls in the forest when nobodies around.
And so the years passed and the days and the months and the years, and people in black shades and dark glasses came round the grave side with black umbrellas. And they looked down at the final resting place of Trinity. Trinity for hope, for joy for love, and Morpheus gave a speech at the funeral that lasted forty days and forty nights. And after he was finished the vicar had also passed away and they held another funeral in his honor. Everything was sad and depressing and Neo decided to commit suicide and they were all doomed for ever. The End.
(Inside the Matrix movie studio)
*the phone rings*
Big bucks phone call: That's a crap ending, bring Trinity back I don't care how you do it or you're fired!
Narrator: I'm only having a go at an angst movie give me a break!
Big bucks phone call: I don't give a damn what your trying to do, if you don't bring Trinity back and make a good ending I'll skin you alive, I'll toast you like a marshmallow and dance on your grave, now get to it!
Narrator: Awww
(Rewind to "Nooooooooooo")
Everything slowed down into milliseconds, moving forward Neo flew at the speed of light picking up all the pieces of Trinity he puts them in a big sack and flies up onto the roof. There in slow motion taking out super glue and sticky tape he sticks her back into one piece. Trinity's eyes open with life and they embrace like at the end of Reloaded. But the building explodes and they all died anyway.
Big bucks phone call: That's it you're dead!
Narrator: Alright alright, give me a moment!
But Neo escaped just at the last moment by flying away into the sunset, across the clouds avoiding the debris of the deafening explosion behind him which grew and grew until it swamped half of the city in a huge nuclear mushroom cloud.
(Back in the Nubucaneza)
Morpheus: He did it. he really did it.
Switch: So does this mean he's the one or not?
Morpheus: Well theoretically yes
Switch: Why theoretically? He just saved Trinity from the most near death experience ever seen ever; it's almost as if some big narrator out there suddenly changed the plot
Morpheus: Theoretically because, every time I start saying Neo's the one then someone contradicts me.
Switch: So he's not then
Morpheus: Exactly Switch you just contradicted me
Switch: So is he the one or not?
Morpheus: What do you believe Switch?
Switch: I believe that you're in front of me now
Morpheus: How do you know that?
Switch: Does this have anything remotely related to Neo being the one at all?
Morpheus: No
Switch: So is he the.
Morpheus: Switch just forget it
(In a near by pub)
Niobe: So do you come here often?
Tentacle robot: You do not look like Gama69JJ4 to me.
Niobe: That doesn't matter give us a kiss love *hick*
Tentacle robot: Your logic seems to be outdated
Niobe: So what's a robot like you doing in a place like this?
Tentacle robot: Are you sure you are not human
Niobe: If was a ooman! If I was a ooman, then wouldn't I be kickin yur ass oot the windie?
Tentacle: Phrase does not compute, I have no choice but to bring you in for possible repair
Niobie: *kicks robot through the window*
(Back in Zion that I made earlier)
Senator: What's the news about Neo and Trinity?
Morpheus: They're alive and trying to think up how to proceed with the plan
Senator: I presume you have already worked out a way to release all the humans at once from the Matrix?
Morpheus: . no
Senator: . I presume you already have a way to blow up the Machine power stations.
Morpheus: Actually yes, we were thinking about a nuclear missile
Senator: The technology has been lost to us for several centuries
Morpheus: Yeah right, you have the technology to build EMP frigging weapons with ships that hover and do that static electricity thing, don't tell me we can't build nukes!
Senator: Find me some Plutonium and some plans and maybe we can set about doing it
Morpheus: This sucks we're all doomed
Senator: I did mention that earlier
(Inside the meeting room)
Architect: So what's the sound of one hand clapping?
Sentinel B: You can't make one hand clap
Sentinel A: What are you talking about?
Architect: Ok, say if you were in the middle of Space and there was nothing around apart from this hand, what would be its sound if it clapped?
Sentinel B: Presuming this would be in the middle of space, there would be no air and it wouldn't make any sound at all, not to mention the fact that any muscles inside the hand would be practically useless
Sentinel C: Doesn't it make a sound a bit like two hands clapping?
Smith: Hands are for punching people with when are you people going to learn the facts?
Sentinel B: Smith I find your addiction to violence disturbing
Smith: Let me show you the sound of one hand clapping *clouts Sentinel B over the head*
Machine Mainframe: THAT WILL DO
Smith: So we're all agreed then
Sentinel B: I guess so *rubs cheek*
(Back inside Matrix)
Rubble and fire are pushed aside as a black sooty figure emerges. Smith looks up, his tie burned off at the base of it. He looks up at the sky to see a black dot cross in the red sun. He waves his hand in anger.
"I'll get you Mr Anderson" he whispered "I'll get you"
*Safe lands on his head for no apparent reason*
Neo: Smith, that's a fish not a bomb Smith: Hahahaha you fool! While you were contemplating whether or not I had a real bomb, you sealed Trinity's fate! Neo: Nooooooooooo!
*Spluge*
And that was the moment that Trinity died. She died and everyone was sad, she was mourned for a thousand years, for more than that in fact. People came every day to the grave in Zion and laid down new flowers and paid their respects. On the stone it said "Trinity: She gave her life to the Spam industry" nobody of course was sure what that meant, but it sounded spiritual and perhaps had some deep inner meaning. Some philosophical content like the tree that falls in the forest when nobodies around.
And so the years passed and the days and the months and the years, and people in black shades and dark glasses came round the grave side with black umbrellas. And they looked down at the final resting place of Trinity. Trinity for hope, for joy for love, and Morpheus gave a speech at the funeral that lasted forty days and forty nights. And after he was finished the vicar had also passed away and they held another funeral in his honor. Everything was sad and depressing and Neo decided to commit suicide and they were all doomed for ever. The End.
(Inside the Matrix movie studio)
*the phone rings*
Big bucks phone call: That's a crap ending, bring Trinity back I don't care how you do it or you're fired!
Narrator: I'm only having a go at an angst movie give me a break!
Big bucks phone call: I don't give a damn what your trying to do, if you don't bring Trinity back and make a good ending I'll skin you alive, I'll toast you like a marshmallow and dance on your grave, now get to it!
Narrator: Awww
(Rewind to "Nooooooooooo")
Everything slowed down into milliseconds, moving forward Neo flew at the speed of light picking up all the pieces of Trinity he puts them in a big sack and flies up onto the roof. There in slow motion taking out super glue and sticky tape he sticks her back into one piece. Trinity's eyes open with life and they embrace like at the end of Reloaded. But the building explodes and they all died anyway.
Big bucks phone call: That's it you're dead!
Narrator: Alright alright, give me a moment!
But Neo escaped just at the last moment by flying away into the sunset, across the clouds avoiding the debris of the deafening explosion behind him which grew and grew until it swamped half of the city in a huge nuclear mushroom cloud.
(Back in the Nubucaneza)
Morpheus: He did it. he really did it.
Switch: So does this mean he's the one or not?
Morpheus: Well theoretically yes
Switch: Why theoretically? He just saved Trinity from the most near death experience ever seen ever; it's almost as if some big narrator out there suddenly changed the plot
Morpheus: Theoretically because, every time I start saying Neo's the one then someone contradicts me.
Switch: So he's not then
Morpheus: Exactly Switch you just contradicted me
Switch: So is he the one or not?
Morpheus: What do you believe Switch?
Switch: I believe that you're in front of me now
Morpheus: How do you know that?
Switch: Does this have anything remotely related to Neo being the one at all?
Morpheus: No
Switch: So is he the.
Morpheus: Switch just forget it
(In a near by pub)
Niobe: So do you come here often?
Tentacle robot: You do not look like Gama69JJ4 to me.
Niobe: That doesn't matter give us a kiss love *hick*
Tentacle robot: Your logic seems to be outdated
Niobe: So what's a robot like you doing in a place like this?
Tentacle robot: Are you sure you are not human
Niobe: If was a ooman! If I was a ooman, then wouldn't I be kickin yur ass oot the windie?
Tentacle: Phrase does not compute, I have no choice but to bring you in for possible repair
Niobie: *kicks robot through the window*
(Back in Zion that I made earlier)
Senator: What's the news about Neo and Trinity?
Morpheus: They're alive and trying to think up how to proceed with the plan
Senator: I presume you have already worked out a way to release all the humans at once from the Matrix?
Morpheus: . no
Senator: . I presume you already have a way to blow up the Machine power stations.
Morpheus: Actually yes, we were thinking about a nuclear missile
Senator: The technology has been lost to us for several centuries
Morpheus: Yeah right, you have the technology to build EMP frigging weapons with ships that hover and do that static electricity thing, don't tell me we can't build nukes!
Senator: Find me some Plutonium and some plans and maybe we can set about doing it
Morpheus: This sucks we're all doomed
Senator: I did mention that earlier
(Inside the meeting room)
Architect: So what's the sound of one hand clapping?
Sentinel B: You can't make one hand clap
Sentinel A: What are you talking about?
Architect: Ok, say if you were in the middle of Space and there was nothing around apart from this hand, what would be its sound if it clapped?
Sentinel B: Presuming this would be in the middle of space, there would be no air and it wouldn't make any sound at all, not to mention the fact that any muscles inside the hand would be practically useless
Sentinel C: Doesn't it make a sound a bit like two hands clapping?
Smith: Hands are for punching people with when are you people going to learn the facts?
Sentinel B: Smith I find your addiction to violence disturbing
Smith: Let me show you the sound of one hand clapping *clouts Sentinel B over the head*
Machine Mainframe: THAT WILL DO
Smith: So we're all agreed then
Sentinel B: I guess so *rubs cheek*
(Back inside Matrix)
Rubble and fire are pushed aside as a black sooty figure emerges. Smith looks up, his tie burned off at the base of it. He looks up at the sky to see a black dot cross in the red sun. He waves his hand in anger.
"I'll get you Mr Anderson" he whispered "I'll get you"
*Safe lands on his head for no apparent reason*