Disclaimer: Back again! Don't own Enterprise, yadda, yadda, yadda.
Thanks to "pookha" who remined me about a certain epsidoe a couple of chapters back. Gave me a great idea for part of this so thanks!
WAAA, Lightbulby29's cat is going to report me to PETA! Please, don't do it little cat, I'm sorry... ;) *Evil Laugh, turns into not so evil cough*
Thank you so, so, so much to 'HopefulNebula', my gorgeous, wonderful, talented beta.
Please, please read and review!
Ahem - I have a notice here by order of "pookha" (Thanks again.)
"beware consuming liquid beverages while reading this story..
maybe hazardous to monitor and keyboard due to excessive snort of said liquid."
Now... on with the story.
~@~
Logs. ~Homing beacon.~
Captain's Log.
I lost my cat treats! No, that's not quite right, Malcolm lost my cat treats. I can't believe he would be so immature as to blast my favorite thing in the whole wide universe into outer space. I'm the Captain! Me! I want my cat treats! I'm going to hold my breath until I get them...
1... 2.. 3... 4... uhh... 5... the room looks funny... 6... 7... 8...
~@~
Dr. Phlox's Medical Log;
The Captain was just brought in, completely out cold. I have no idea what's wrong with him or how to cure him. I'm just a doctor for crying out loud! I know next to nothing on human anatomy, why oh why did that stupid human pick me? Maybe if I poke this red thing... ohh... I wonder what this weird tube like thing does?
Fascinating.
End Log.
~@~
Lt. Malcolm Reed's personal log.
10:00: Yelled at by the Captain for loosing his precious Cat treats. Captain fainted. No need to use weapons. Nothing to report.
10:08: Started to search space for the lost treats. No ships were suddenly discovered with the sweeps, so no need to take sudden defensive action. Nothing to report.
10:11: Bored, bored, bored. No sign of cat treats anywhere on the scanners. No aliens, nothing at all! Nothing to report.
11:30: ZZZzzzzz.... Nothing to report.
13:45: Something to report! Something to report!
13:46: I forgot what it was I was going to report....
14:00: I've remembered! Traces of cat treats found in space around a planet. We'll going down. Taking weapons. Good. Also taking Commander Tucker. Less good.
End Log.
~@~
Commander Tucker's Personal Log, Supplemental.
I feel very hurt.
Not hurt literally. (That must be a record, it's been nearly two weeks and I haven't had an accident... Oh fudge. I've just jinxed it now, I'm going to get hurt in some way, shape or form. I sometimes hate my life. It's as if someone is watching me and getting kicks out of seeing me get hurt.) But anyway, that's not the point. The point is my feelings have been hurt. We were all getting ready to go down to this plant Hoshi and Malcolm found which had the Captain's cat treats.
So there we were, all waiting by the shuttle for Dr. Phlox to the Captain go from Sickbay when I said that the people on the planet seemed nice. Then I said maybe we could ask the Captain for some shore leave.
I should have seen the signs. I really should.
As one, the people standing next to me began to slowly move away as if I was carrying some kind of plague. I still didn't get it. Looking round at the people who were moving away I saw Malcolm. So I asked him if he wanted to go to a club with me, once the mission was over.
Well, how was I to know he was still in therapy from the last time?
I really thought that those women were, well, women. I didn't know they were going to rob us and leave us in our blues, tied up. There was no call for Malcolm to scream until he went blue and then hide in the shuttle, whimpering.
He could have just said no.
So, we've arrived. At last, the whole way here all I could hear was this soft whimpering. It was driving me round the bend. Hello, what's that large brown thing that's coming towards us rather fast?
...ow...
End Log.
~@~
Captain Archer's Log.
Something funny is going on. I mean besides the shuttle flying by it's self down to the planet. (Now that I think about it, Enterprise does fly without a pilot a lot of times. I mean when Trip was floating in space, there was no one flying the ship. I really ought to do something about that... nah, why fix what isn't broken?)
Still, something funny is going on. As soon as we stepped off the shuttle this large... well, club for a better world, flew through the air and hit Trip in the stomach. Malcolm pulled out a phaser and shot it. The club rolled off. I was just bending over to help Trip stand up when the club came flying at him again! He managed to duck it but now he's running round in circles, this club chasing him.
I still feel a little... odd. When I woke up in sickbay, the first thing I saw was Phlox's face. Scary at the best of times. Anyway, I was doing the normal groaning, pain, but I'll live thing when I looked down and noticed that Phlox had somehow forgotten to stitch up my chest wound.
Wait.
I never had a chest wound.
Oh, someone's coming over here, waving his... three arms?
I never had a chest wound so why was my chest cut open?
End Log.
~@~
Travis Mayweather's Personal Log.
Today: Hoshi was reading over my shoulder and asked how would I be able to tell all my log entries apart when each of them are labeled 'Today' or 'Later Today' or 'Still Today'.
Huh, what does she know.
So. Where was I? Oh, yeah, I was about to write about the club incident. It was so cool! There was this brown club thing chasing after the Commander. Lt. Reed was hunting in the shuttle for some kind of weapon that would stop it. (He had already gone through his normal weapons of phasers, blast guns, nuclear missals and others.) Then this alien with three arms came running up to us.
Amazingly he spoke perfect English.
He came up to us and grabbed the club as it went flying past him. You could tell the poor alien was confused, he was hanging on for dear life as the club went haywire, trying to get at the Commander.
"Does your friend have any metallic devices on his person that are emitting an electronic pulse?" he yelled. The Captain's face went an interesting color. I think it was a red, nah, more of a pale, almost pink, purple.
"He has a micro-chip..." The Captain said. At that moment the alien let go of the club. It slipped from his grasp and flew right at the Commander. There seemed like there was no way he could get out of the way in time. Lt. Reed was too far away.When all of a sudden...
The Commander jumped about 10 feet into the air! It was astonishing. Then he spun round as he landed, a weird silver tube in his hands. As the club turned and came flying towards him as fast as it could, he pressed a little red button. There was a sort of 'hiss' and a green beam of light came out of the tube. It destroyed the club.
Lt. Reed practically started drooling.
The Commander said it was a prototype he was building as a surprise. It was at this point that I began to get wet. It wasn't raining, we were nowhere near any river, lake or stream. I think you can guess how I got wet.
I'm off to have a long, long, long shower.
End Log.
~@~
P.A's Personal Log, Password Required.
Password... Yes_Cheese
Woof! Woof, Yap! Woof, bark! Whine, woof. Yip, whine, whine woof. Yap, woof, whine, yip!
End log, new password as... Trip_is_a_jedi_don't_tell
~@~
TBC...
There you have it, please leave a review.
Bye!
~Sethoz
Thank you so, so, so much to 'HopefulNebula', my gorgeous, wonderful, talented beta.
Please, please read and review!
Ahem - I have a notice here by order of "pookha" (Thanks again.)
"beware consuming liquid beverages while reading this story..
maybe hazardous to monitor and keyboard due to excessive snort of said liquid."
Now... on with the story.
~@~
Logs. ~Homing beacon.~
Captain's Log.
I lost my cat treats! No, that's not quite right, Malcolm lost my cat treats. I can't believe he would be so immature as to blast my favorite thing in the whole wide universe into outer space. I'm the Captain! Me! I want my cat treats! I'm going to hold my breath until I get them...
1... 2.. 3... 4... uhh... 5... the room looks funny... 6... 7... 8...
~@~
Dr. Phlox's Medical Log;
The Captain was just brought in, completely out cold. I have no idea what's wrong with him or how to cure him. I'm just a doctor for crying out loud! I know next to nothing on human anatomy, why oh why did that stupid human pick me? Maybe if I poke this red thing... ohh... I wonder what this weird tube like thing does?
Fascinating.
End Log.
~@~
Lt. Malcolm Reed's personal log.
10:00: Yelled at by the Captain for loosing his precious Cat treats. Captain fainted. No need to use weapons. Nothing to report.
10:08: Started to search space for the lost treats. No ships were suddenly discovered with the sweeps, so no need to take sudden defensive action. Nothing to report.
10:11: Bored, bored, bored. No sign of cat treats anywhere on the scanners. No aliens, nothing at all! Nothing to report.
11:30: ZZZzzzzz.... Nothing to report.
13:45: Something to report! Something to report!
13:46: I forgot what it was I was going to report....
14:00: I've remembered! Traces of cat treats found in space around a planet. We'll going down. Taking weapons. Good. Also taking Commander Tucker. Less good.
End Log.
~@~
Commander Tucker's Personal Log, Supplemental.
I feel very hurt.
Not hurt literally. (That must be a record, it's been nearly two weeks and I haven't had an accident... Oh fudge. I've just jinxed it now, I'm going to get hurt in some way, shape or form. I sometimes hate my life. It's as if someone is watching me and getting kicks out of seeing me get hurt.) But anyway, that's not the point. The point is my feelings have been hurt. We were all getting ready to go down to this plant Hoshi and Malcolm found which had the Captain's cat treats.
So there we were, all waiting by the shuttle for Dr. Phlox to the Captain go from Sickbay when I said that the people on the planet seemed nice. Then I said maybe we could ask the Captain for some shore leave.
I should have seen the signs. I really should.
As one, the people standing next to me began to slowly move away as if I was carrying some kind of plague. I still didn't get it. Looking round at the people who were moving away I saw Malcolm. So I asked him if he wanted to go to a club with me, once the mission was over.
Well, how was I to know he was still in therapy from the last time?
I really thought that those women were, well, women. I didn't know they were going to rob us and leave us in our blues, tied up. There was no call for Malcolm to scream until he went blue and then hide in the shuttle, whimpering.
He could have just said no.
So, we've arrived. At last, the whole way here all I could hear was this soft whimpering. It was driving me round the bend. Hello, what's that large brown thing that's coming towards us rather fast?
...ow...
End Log.
~@~
Captain Archer's Log.
Something funny is going on. I mean besides the shuttle flying by it's self down to the planet. (Now that I think about it, Enterprise does fly without a pilot a lot of times. I mean when Trip was floating in space, there was no one flying the ship. I really ought to do something about that... nah, why fix what isn't broken?)
Still, something funny is going on. As soon as we stepped off the shuttle this large... well, club for a better world, flew through the air and hit Trip in the stomach. Malcolm pulled out a phaser and shot it. The club rolled off. I was just bending over to help Trip stand up when the club came flying at him again! He managed to duck it but now he's running round in circles, this club chasing him.
I still feel a little... odd. When I woke up in sickbay, the first thing I saw was Phlox's face. Scary at the best of times. Anyway, I was doing the normal groaning, pain, but I'll live thing when I looked down and noticed that Phlox had somehow forgotten to stitch up my chest wound.
Wait.
I never had a chest wound.
Oh, someone's coming over here, waving his... three arms?
I never had a chest wound so why was my chest cut open?
End Log.
~@~
Travis Mayweather's Personal Log.
Today: Hoshi was reading over my shoulder and asked how would I be able to tell all my log entries apart when each of them are labeled 'Today' or 'Later Today' or 'Still Today'.
Huh, what does she know.
So. Where was I? Oh, yeah, I was about to write about the club incident. It was so cool! There was this brown club thing chasing after the Commander. Lt. Reed was hunting in the shuttle for some kind of weapon that would stop it. (He had already gone through his normal weapons of phasers, blast guns, nuclear missals and others.) Then this alien with three arms came running up to us.
Amazingly he spoke perfect English.
He came up to us and grabbed the club as it went flying past him. You could tell the poor alien was confused, he was hanging on for dear life as the club went haywire, trying to get at the Commander.
"Does your friend have any metallic devices on his person that are emitting an electronic pulse?" he yelled. The Captain's face went an interesting color. I think it was a red, nah, more of a pale, almost pink, purple.
"He has a micro-chip..." The Captain said. At that moment the alien let go of the club. It slipped from his grasp and flew right at the Commander. There seemed like there was no way he could get out of the way in time. Lt. Reed was too far away.When all of a sudden...
The Commander jumped about 10 feet into the air! It was astonishing. Then he spun round as he landed, a weird silver tube in his hands. As the club turned and came flying towards him as fast as it could, he pressed a little red button. There was a sort of 'hiss' and a green beam of light came out of the tube. It destroyed the club.
Lt. Reed practically started drooling.
The Commander said it was a prototype he was building as a surprise. It was at this point that I began to get wet. It wasn't raining, we were nowhere near any river, lake or stream. I think you can guess how I got wet.
I'm off to have a long, long, long shower.
End Log.
~@~
P.A's Personal Log, Password Required.
Password... Yes_Cheese
Woof! Woof, Yap! Woof, bark! Whine, woof. Yip, whine, whine woof. Yap, woof, whine, yip!
End log, new password as... Trip_is_a_jedi_don't_tell
~@~
TBC...
There you have it, please leave a review.
Bye!
~Sethoz