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Stones to Throw 3/4

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Over the next few days, Seth spent more time on the phone with Nate than he did hanging out with Ryan. Things were still strained and he just didn't know how to talk to Ryan like a normal person anymore. He'd listened to Nate talk about past boyfriends, the first time he realized he was gay, the painful memories of being disowned by his parents and kicked out at eighteen, how he'd pulled his life together and scraped together money from odd jobs to live and to go to school and a bunch of other things. It was during one of these marathon phone sessions that he realized Nate and Ryan were a lot alike.

Seth liked Nate, but not the same way he liked Ryan and sometimes he wished he could like him like that. It would make everything so simple if he didn't want Ryan so bad. Ryan clouded his judgement in everything he did. Seth had turned down Nate's repeated offers to set him up with some of his friends because he still held up hope that Ryan would come around.

Seth sat on the floor in the living room playing video games, occasionally eating from a bowl of soggy Fruit Loops, he was so enraptured that he didn't hear Ryan come in until he spoke.

"Hey!"

Seth did a double-take making sure he was the person Ryan was talking to. Satisfied that he was the only person in the room with Ryan he responded with a simple, "hey."

Ryan sat down on the couch, nursing his own bowl of cereal. "So what's going on?"

Seth felt Ryan watching him, the hair at the back of his neck prickled. He remained cautious. "Hmm? Nothing, just playing a little Playstation."

Seth could just barely make out Ryan's shape from the corner of his eye. It didn't help matters that Ryan was still wearing what little clothing he'd probably worn to bed and it was way distracting. "You've been busy the past few days. I haven't seen you much."

Seth paused the game and faced Ryan. "Yeah, I uh...thought it would be best if I stayed out of your way."

"You don't have to."

"Okay," Seth said, returning to the game.

Ryan stood, hovering over Seth. "No, Seth, I'm serious. We can get past this. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. You know, everything's cool. You're gay, or bi-sexual or whatever and I'm fine with that."

"You are?" Seth asked, sceptically, his eyes narrowing.

"Yeah, you know, it took me a while to process it all, but I've taken it all in and nothing's changed. I mean you're still Seth, right?"

Seth agreed silently.

Seth sensed more than felt Ryan sit down next to him and grab the other controller. "Can I play?"

Seth nodded. "Yeah, sure. Of course. Is this game okay?"

"It's fine."

It was fine and they were fine. It was fine-fucking-tastic. Everything was fine on the surface, but it wasn't fine. Nothing was fine because even now, Seth had to control himself not to reach over and touch Ryan and he didn't know how much longer his willpower would let him keep up this strongly veiled pretense of everything being fine. He needed to talk to Nate about the latest development in the whole Ryan saga.

As if Nate had been reading his mind, the phone rang and Seth reached over Ryan to pick it up. He realized too late that he was pressing his chest against Ryan's thigh, but once he recognized the uncomfortable look on Ryan's face, he righted himself and moved away.

"Hello?"

"Hey Seth, it's Nate."

Seth smiled. "Hey man, s'up?"

"Oh, going all ghetto on me, huh?"

"For shizzel," Seth dead-panned.

" Listen, I don't think I'm up for going to that thing on Saturday."

"What? You're kidding me, you have to go. I can't go without you. Please? Come on, man, don't leave me hanging." Seth twirled the phone cords around his fingers nervously.

Nate chuckled on the other line. "All right, if it means that much."

"You know it does, and you know I appreciate it. Wait, why aren't you up for it?" Seth asked, concerned.

"Chad and I broke up," Nate confessed after a minute.

"No way! Why?"

"I caught him cheating on me," he replied, simply.

"Damn!"

"Yeah."

"Well hey, maybe this thing will take your mind off if it. Maybe you'll even meet someone."

"Maybe I've already met someone." Seth gasped. "Hey, Seth?"

"Yeah?"

"Wear something tight."

"What?" Seth sputtered, catching Ryan's eye.

"You heard me." Nate hung up and Seth stood in rapt silence.

Seth set the receiver down and shook his head trying to piece together the events that had just transpired.

"Who was that?" Ryan asked.

"Nate," Seth answered, absently.

"Are you two going somewhere?"

"What? Oh yeah, we're going to this rave on Saturday."

"A rave? Seth are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Yes, Dad, I think it's an awesome idea. Especially since Nate and his boyfriend just broke up," Seth said with badly masked glee.

"So what, you're interested in this guy?"

Seth couldn't read the expression on Ryan's face but hoped it wasn't disgust. For a minute he'd lost himself and forgotten what shaky ground he was on with Ryan when it came to their friendship and his 'gayness'.

Seth shrugged. "I dunno. He's really helped me and he's nice," Seth said, "and he thinks I'm adorable," he added almost as an afterthought. "You should come. I know it's not really your scene, but you can if you want to. There'll probably be, you know, people like me and Nate, uh, you know..." Seth stopped when he noticed the look on Ryan's face and he felt bad for treating him like an idiot child. "I don't want you to freak out about...that."

Ryan shrugged and took another mouthful of cereal. "I'll go," he mumbled between spoonfuls.

"You will?" Seth asked sceptically.

"Yeah. It'll be fun."

Seth's eyebrows raised, his heart beat sped up. "Uh, no...yeah, okay."

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Ryan had been acting funny all day -at least in Seth's opinion. Everywhere Seth had gone Ryan had followed. It was beginning to get weird. It was like sometime between the phone call with Nate and the preceding hours, theirs roles had become reversed. It was now Ryan that seemed to be hanging on every word Seth said and that was saying something because Seth spoke a lot.

Ryan actually had seemed stoked about going out and not just to humour Seth. It was definitely going to be a night they wouldn't forget soon - at least that's what Nate had insisted the eighteen times Seth had phoned him freaked out.

Hearing Nate's car horn, Seth stepped into his shoes and called for Ryan. "Hey man, hurry up!"

"I'll be there in a minute." He heard Ryan say from the bathroom.

Seth grabbed his wallet from the table and headed out the door. He made his way to Nate's car, smiling the whole time. In truth, he was nervous as hell, but had decided to use that energy to whine. It only seemed logical. Seth peered into the open window and eyed Nate. "Dude, this is such a bad idea."

"Would you just relax?" he said, leaning over and unlocking the door.

Seth climbed into the passenger seat and pulled his seatbelt across his chest.

"Dude, I'm a Cohen, we worry about everything. Anyway, Ryan will be out in a minute, or so he says," Seth told him without looking up. He drummed his fingers against the dash and spared a glance at Nate who was watching him. "A-are you wearing make-up?"

"A little eyeliner," Nate said, casually. "Why, you want some?" He teased.

Seth's eyebrows creased. "No, no no. I'm perfectly all right the way I am, thank you very much."

Nate's eyes scanned Seth. "You look great by the way."

Seth eyed himself in his usual low-slung jeans--maybe a little tighter than normal--and a tight baby blue t-shirt with dark blue edging on the sleeves and neckline. "Riiight."

Nate pointed to Ryan exiting the house. "Here comes your boy."

Seth perked up, focussed on Ryan as he strutted toward the car. "He's so not my 'boy' yet. You know this is totally not going to work out, Ryan's going to decide I'm a freak and totally break my neck."

Nate smirked. "Think positive."

"Oh, I am. I am positive Ryan could snap my neck."

"Seth."

Seeing Ryan stop to lace up his combat boots in the middle of the driveway, Seth turned to Nate and attempted some innocent flirting. "Since you're all of a sudden single and you have called me adorable--more times then once, I do believe--how about some rebound sex thrown my way? I can be your boy-toy after I get my heart broken, it's the least you owe me for making me tell him the truth and getting squashed like an iddy-biddy bug."

"That's tempting, Seth, but I have a feeling things are going to work out better than you think," Nate affirmed catching Ryan's eye and looking away.

"See, that's just it, I happen to know you're wrong," Seth said, completely oblivious.

"We'll see."

Ryan hopped into the back and Nate pulled away from the curb before he had even closed the door. Seth turned around and gave Ryan an apologetic smile.