Forty Five - BF
Later that day Scott was wandering through the house, reminding himself of its dimensions and the locations of various articles and pieces of furniture. He suddenly realised that he was alone in the lounge. He made his way over to his father's desk. Feeling about he found the switch that activated the link to Thunderbird Five.
"Scott!" he could hear surprise in John's voice.
"Hi Johnny. We didn't get much time to talk while you were home so I thought I'd give you a call and say hi."
"How are you?"
"Not bad. I'm actually amazed at how easy I'm finding it is to get about the house. You don't realise how well you know a place until something changes and you have to relearn. So how are you John?"
"Me? I'm fine. It's been quiet these last few weeks. There's been a few emergencies that I've kept an eye... ah, I've watched... I've kept on listening to, but the local rescue authorities have managed without our help."
"Just as well. International Rescue has been a bit short-staffed these past few weeks."
"I know. How's Virgil's arm? He still seemed to be favouring it a bit."
"I don't know. He hasn't complained to me about it." Scott filed this bit of information away for later. "So have you discovered anything new and exciting lately?"
Now he could hear enthusiasm in John's voice. "Brains installed a new telescopic attachment last time he was here. And I think I've discovered a new star! And not only that, there's every possibility it's got planets orbiting it! I'll have to do some more research, but I'm pretty sure I'm onto something. Next time you're up here I'll have to show you..." John's voice petered out as he realised what he'd said. "I'm sorry Scott. I forgot."
"That's okay Johnny. I'd rather you were able to forget. I want everyone to treat me as they've always done."
"It's not going to be easy."
"I know. It's not easy for me either, but it's something we've all got to get used to."
"I had a weird call from Dad earlier today." John said tentatively.
"Yeah. What did he say?"
"He wanted me to track Virgil's watch."
"Oh."
"He said Virg. had told everyone to stop helping you. Why?"
"You may not believe this John, but Virgil was actually talking sense, although the rest of us didn't appreciate it at the time." Scott looked somewhat shamefaced. "Everyone was mollycoddling me, and I was letting them. I was feeling sorry for myself. And Virgil was getting annoyed because he could see what was happening. He just got a little steamed up and told us all to snap out of it."
"And Dad didn't take to kindly to it." John said dryly.
"I'll say!" Scott grinned. "Just as well Virgil was quick on his feet."
"And everything's alright now?"
"Yeah. It's like I said. I've realised that I want everyone to treat me normally. The problem is that Virgil's had a couple of months to get to know what I can do, he's learnt with me. But it's going to take some time for everyone else to adjust and get to know what I'm capable of."
"It going to take me even longer." John said quietly. "I'm not there to see you in action."
"Just treat me normally. That's all I ask. I'll let you know if I need your help."
"I'll try to remember."
"Say John." Scott started to manoeuvre the conversation around to where he wanted it to go. "I don't think I thanked you for the help you were while we were stuck in Regnad."
"I wasn't much help." John said despondently.
"Don't you believe it! You kept us believing that we could get out, even though we had all those obstacles to get through. You kept us focused. And when we were down you made us laugh. You don't know how important that was to us. I remember that we both commented on how glad we were that you were there guiding us. I understand your piloting skills were pretty awesome too."
John chuckled at the memory. "That was a real challenge! All I could think about was how Virgil was going to kill me if I so much as put a scratch on Thunderbird Two. And then when I lost contact with her I started wondering if I could ask Dad if I could live up here permanently."
Scott laughed. "The way Virgil was going on about that edible transmitter swap I wouldn't have been surprised to hear Alan had asked to join you."
"Of course if Thunderbird Two had crashed neither of you would have been here." John pointed out. "There was no way we could have got you out in time."
"That's the way these things happen." Scott saw the opening he'd been waiting for. "Sometimes things go our way, sometimes they don't. We survived. That was fate. I'm blind. That was fate too. It was no one's fault."
"Are you sure about that?"
"I'm sure that it was an accident. That I was unlucky to be looking over that wall at the moment that the generator blew. If I'd looked a moment earlier I would have been alright. A moment later and, well, I wouldn't have looked. I would have been running for my life. There was no way that I could have been warned in time. Don't blame yourself John."
"But I do blame myself. I keep thinking that maybe I could have let you know that the scientists were out sooner." Scott could hear frustration in John's voice.
"Don't. It wasn't your fault. It was no one's fault. Believe me, there are times when I feel like getting someone from Regnad, pushing them up against a wall and yelling at them 'look at what you've done to me.' But I can't blame them. The only person I can blame is myself."
"You?" John was curious about this idea.
"Yes me. I knew being a member of International Rescue would be dangerous, but I still joined willingly. It's the same for you and Virgil and Gordon and Alan. We all know the risks and yet we've all put our lives on the line. I can only blame myself for what happened to me."
"I'd never thought of it that way." John mused. "But then I've never had to." He sighed. "But still... if I'd radioed..."
"John." There was exasperation in Scott's voice. "Repeat after me. 'It was not my fault'."
"Are you sure?"
"John! Say it!"
Slowly John complied. "It was not my fault."
"Good." Scott smiled. "Now believe it, because I believe it and I know everyone else believes it."
John smiled. "Okay, Scott. I'll try." And Scott was pleased to hear relief in his voice.
From the shadows of the hallway Jeff Tracy smiled too. For the first time he began to realise that Scott was still Scott. He was still watching over his brothers even though he couldn't see them...
Later that day Scott was wandering through the house, reminding himself of its dimensions and the locations of various articles and pieces of furniture. He suddenly realised that he was alone in the lounge. He made his way over to his father's desk. Feeling about he found the switch that activated the link to Thunderbird Five.
"Scott!" he could hear surprise in John's voice.
"Hi Johnny. We didn't get much time to talk while you were home so I thought I'd give you a call and say hi."
"How are you?"
"Not bad. I'm actually amazed at how easy I'm finding it is to get about the house. You don't realise how well you know a place until something changes and you have to relearn. So how are you John?"
"Me? I'm fine. It's been quiet these last few weeks. There's been a few emergencies that I've kept an eye... ah, I've watched... I've kept on listening to, but the local rescue authorities have managed without our help."
"Just as well. International Rescue has been a bit short-staffed these past few weeks."
"I know. How's Virgil's arm? He still seemed to be favouring it a bit."
"I don't know. He hasn't complained to me about it." Scott filed this bit of information away for later. "So have you discovered anything new and exciting lately?"
Now he could hear enthusiasm in John's voice. "Brains installed a new telescopic attachment last time he was here. And I think I've discovered a new star! And not only that, there's every possibility it's got planets orbiting it! I'll have to do some more research, but I'm pretty sure I'm onto something. Next time you're up here I'll have to show you..." John's voice petered out as he realised what he'd said. "I'm sorry Scott. I forgot."
"That's okay Johnny. I'd rather you were able to forget. I want everyone to treat me as they've always done."
"It's not going to be easy."
"I know. It's not easy for me either, but it's something we've all got to get used to."
"I had a weird call from Dad earlier today." John said tentatively.
"Yeah. What did he say?"
"He wanted me to track Virgil's watch."
"Oh."
"He said Virg. had told everyone to stop helping you. Why?"
"You may not believe this John, but Virgil was actually talking sense, although the rest of us didn't appreciate it at the time." Scott looked somewhat shamefaced. "Everyone was mollycoddling me, and I was letting them. I was feeling sorry for myself. And Virgil was getting annoyed because he could see what was happening. He just got a little steamed up and told us all to snap out of it."
"And Dad didn't take to kindly to it." John said dryly.
"I'll say!" Scott grinned. "Just as well Virgil was quick on his feet."
"And everything's alright now?"
"Yeah. It's like I said. I've realised that I want everyone to treat me normally. The problem is that Virgil's had a couple of months to get to know what I can do, he's learnt with me. But it's going to take some time for everyone else to adjust and get to know what I'm capable of."
"It going to take me even longer." John said quietly. "I'm not there to see you in action."
"Just treat me normally. That's all I ask. I'll let you know if I need your help."
"I'll try to remember."
"Say John." Scott started to manoeuvre the conversation around to where he wanted it to go. "I don't think I thanked you for the help you were while we were stuck in Regnad."
"I wasn't much help." John said despondently.
"Don't you believe it! You kept us believing that we could get out, even though we had all those obstacles to get through. You kept us focused. And when we were down you made us laugh. You don't know how important that was to us. I remember that we both commented on how glad we were that you were there guiding us. I understand your piloting skills were pretty awesome too."
John chuckled at the memory. "That was a real challenge! All I could think about was how Virgil was going to kill me if I so much as put a scratch on Thunderbird Two. And then when I lost contact with her I started wondering if I could ask Dad if I could live up here permanently."
Scott laughed. "The way Virgil was going on about that edible transmitter swap I wouldn't have been surprised to hear Alan had asked to join you."
"Of course if Thunderbird Two had crashed neither of you would have been here." John pointed out. "There was no way we could have got you out in time."
"That's the way these things happen." Scott saw the opening he'd been waiting for. "Sometimes things go our way, sometimes they don't. We survived. That was fate. I'm blind. That was fate too. It was no one's fault."
"Are you sure about that?"
"I'm sure that it was an accident. That I was unlucky to be looking over that wall at the moment that the generator blew. If I'd looked a moment earlier I would have been alright. A moment later and, well, I wouldn't have looked. I would have been running for my life. There was no way that I could have been warned in time. Don't blame yourself John."
"But I do blame myself. I keep thinking that maybe I could have let you know that the scientists were out sooner." Scott could hear frustration in John's voice.
"Don't. It wasn't your fault. It was no one's fault. Believe me, there are times when I feel like getting someone from Regnad, pushing them up against a wall and yelling at them 'look at what you've done to me.' But I can't blame them. The only person I can blame is myself."
"You?" John was curious about this idea.
"Yes me. I knew being a member of International Rescue would be dangerous, but I still joined willingly. It's the same for you and Virgil and Gordon and Alan. We all know the risks and yet we've all put our lives on the line. I can only blame myself for what happened to me."
"I'd never thought of it that way." John mused. "But then I've never had to." He sighed. "But still... if I'd radioed..."
"John." There was exasperation in Scott's voice. "Repeat after me. 'It was not my fault'."
"Are you sure?"
"John! Say it!"
Slowly John complied. "It was not my fault."
"Good." Scott smiled. "Now believe it, because I believe it and I know everyone else believes it."
John smiled. "Okay, Scott. I'll try." And Scott was pleased to hear relief in his voice.
From the shadows of the hallway Jeff Tracy smiled too. For the first time he began to realise that Scott was still Scott. He was still watching over his brothers even though he couldn't see them...