Note: 9 reviews = immediate chapter… Pushing the limits, I know, but… One more chapter, one more chapter! Next chapter's the last! Review me!

Disclaimer: I wish I owned BtVS… but alas…

Dedicated To…

Everyone out there who supported me every step of the way (and my girl, Karen, who's the best thing I've got going for me now and has been since everything started falling apart again – I love her to bits 3). Thank you.

Ash – Aw! Did you catch the flu? :( *dispenses hugs* I'm glad an update makes things better… What tops your list of 'Worst Feelings in the World'?

cw – Hey, honey, you wish it were just an extremely realistic water pistol… and *lol* it did sound extremely dirty. *ponders* I like bangs better.

Karen – Reviews make me very happy! Check it OUT! I've gotten 36 already! *bounces* And sweetie, I think it's the last one that's your favorite… *smirk*

LJ – Always good to know I've got the in-character-ness down.

rain – *LOL* You see invisible butterflies, too?! Oh my gawd, me, too! I just knew my psychologist was totally off when he said my problem was one-of-a-kind! *laughs* Just. Kidding. I think. *shifty eyes* And you better pull your jaw back up 'cause here's another update!

lil badass – *loved* I have the greatest pack of reviewers in the universe. *grins* And *laughs* damn, woman, what kind of high are you on? I really enjoyed the rambling/babbling aspect of your review, by the way. It was wonderful and made me smile a couple times. *LOL* And who do you send the wish list to? I guess if you don't want to send it to me, you could always send it to that good, reliable, non-existent Santa… depending on the content of your wishes… *coughs* … If they're too naughty like I know my wishes are, you could always just take orders from the porn shop. *clears throat* … Or. Not. And on a final note… 'bendejo'? Hmm.

Akasha15 – … Is that a potential porn star/stripper name? I like the Star Wars part. And the "mistress of" *ignores "Fuffy"* "pain" parts. *contemplates*

rma – *laughs* Humor is always appreciated. I did think about killing Buffy off a couple times or another, actually… And thanks. A story can neeeever be too loved, you know? *grin*

Note: Constructive criticism always welcome… as well as senseless praise. Hey, a writer does have some needs…

Part VI – "Should've Been"

I'm on top now, hovering over you on hands and knees. The gun is a dead, steely cold in my hands as I drag it lightly along your cheek, heading slowly towards your neck.

"Is this how Angel felt?" I growled, voice ringing unnaturally harsh in my ears.

"Faith, please, don't..."

Begging gets you nowhere, Buffy. I had to learn that the hard way. I increase the pressure of the gun point on your skin, in warning, "I asked you a question, B. Didn't anyone ever teach you manners? Maybe you didn't hear me. I'll say it again then. Is this how Angel felt?"

You whisper something incomprehensible, turning your head to the side to avoid eye contact.

"No," with my free hand, I turn your head back, not letting go, locking my eyes on yours. I revel in your weakness and my power. "No. Say it. Say it again. I want you to fucking look at me this time."

"We can talk about this." you insist, some of your courage returning. "Faith, I'm sorry."

"All you want to do all the damn time is talk. Talk, talk, talk. Well reality check, babe. Talk is cheap. I'm in control. And guess what? I think I'm getting off more on the action side of things."

How do you like it, B?

Rough and cold?

I'll give you what you fucking came for.

"Faith -"

"I'm sick of listening to you wear out my name, B."

I start the kiss this time, dominating it. Dominating you. For a split second, you're unresponsive with surprise... but when you do kiss back - it's every bit as intense as the last one. It almost doesn't matter what circumstances this kiss is on.

I feel like I've been lit on fire.

When I finally pull away, a small cry for more escapes your lips. Your hazel eyes flutter open and I take in, gradually, how unfocused and disoriented you are.

"Uhnm..." you finally groan, voice gone soft and dreamy, forgetful of everything before the kiss, all rebellion gone, "Mm... that was... nice."

But I gather myself a lot faster, and I can't say the same. I still remember you calling out for Angel. I still remember my bitter anger. I still remember that you could have been thinking of him as I kiss you.

I still remember you have the power to hurt me.

But it's all ebbing away and every moment looking at you kills a bit of it. Maybe it kills a little of me, too. I dig my nails into my palm to steel myself and I'm reminded of the gun that lays forgotten there.

I feel sick. I feel like crying.

How can you not feel the chemistry, too?

How can you still want a vampire?

I feel so cheated. I should've had you. You should've been my goddess. You should've been perfect. But it's too late now... and there's nowhere for me to go but forward.

I hate you.

My fingers dance across your face, and despite myself, they linger at your lips. And I can feel my hands tremble slightly as they brush past. Soft, soft, pink lips... forever pouting. Your eyes slide shut again and I can feel, rather than hear, your sigh. And all I want to do is take you.

You used me.

This isn't my first time with a woman. But you make me feel slow and clumsy, like I've never done this before. All I want to do is trust you.

You called out for Angel.

Your body is made of soft curves and hard muscles. So perfectly melded together it makes my breath catch. And your breasts... I want to cry. It shouldn't have to be like this, Buffy. I shouldn't have to be mad at you. It shouldn't have to be anything short of perfect... perfect enough for you.

It has to be exactly like this.

Something lodges itself in my throat. How can you not feel the same way? How can you not feel anything but Angel when I'm so lost in you? I take a moment before slowly plunging a finger between your legs, into the wetness and heat.

"Angel!" you gasp.

"No fucking way, B." I jerk away from you, as if burned. Anger flares up in my stomach again. Once was bad, Buffy, twice... twice was going too far. I hefted the gun in my hands again, "Do you want Angel? I'll give you Angel."