The Exorcism
Rhyme and Reason
c. A.D. 2100
"You are aware that we have not much time for this, Foaly."
"Oh, really? So tell me, Commander Root, what exactly had been keeping you on your toes since Artemis' mind-wipe was consummated successfully?"
For a microsecond, the look on Commander Julius Root's face was one of absolute regret. Foaly decided, on better judgment, to suppress the rapidly snowballing laugh from exiting his horsy mouth. It itched like an accidentally-swallowed stink worm in his throat.
"Stop it, you two!" Captain Trouble Kelp insisted. "Since Foaly is so sure that Fowl will never remember the People again, why should we take the bother to remember him? Proceed, Foaly." Captain Holly Short's smile returned, but a bit less buoyant than it had been.
"Anyway, the research on the Tara original of the Booke of the People has yielded some results. There has been a... discovery."
"Proceed."
"As you well know, legend states that there are eight original copies of the Booke. One gifted to the first fairies, and the other seven buried around the world in various locations. The first Council decided that every fairy would have their own copy of the Booke, and those were copied from the first Booke, titled the Tuatha original. However, the Council has never bothered with searching for the other originals, as they were too busy with the threat of the Mud People. However, after the recent series of conflicts with - " Foaly decided to be tactful " - he who need not be named, and our eventual victory, the Council decided that Mud Men no longer posed an immediate threat. However, they did perceive that the rapid technological development of the Mud Men might pose a long-term danger to the survival of the People. That was their two-pronged motive in initiating the search for the seven originals – to make use of the resources developed against Mud Men, and hoping that the seven other originals might hold new magic or words to increase the strength of the fairies."
"So they discovered the first original."
"At Tara, yes. Now the latest news is that they have located another original, somewhere within the Antarctic Circle. In the meanwhile, our scientists have been working with the Tara original."
"So what have they found? What does it concern the LEP?" Commander Root demanded to know. The first hues of crimson were coming on.
"The originals contain palimpsest messages."
"Palimpsest?"
"A Mud Man concept, from the days of the Egyptians. Their palimpsests were papyri that were reused after the original message had been erased. The palimpsest contained many different layers of information, each succeeding layer harder and harder to read under the written text."
"So the Booke originals have another layer of information. Why doesn't this extra information show up in our standard copies?" Captain Holly wondered aloud.
"The copies of the Booke are produced by optical reproduction, similar to a primitive Mud Man operation they call Xeroxing, that doesn't preserve the palimpsest information. The palimpsest information in the originals comes from the fact that they were hand-written, as far as we can tell. The ink deposits have varying heights, and the differences, measured in micrometers, appear to have been very deliberately deposited. We used a numeric-Gnommish conversion technique on the Tara original and came up with this rhyme:
Half floors and half floor above the foundation
of dwelling that needs no human invitation
a chamber of lights and a gem of pure darkness
begin transformation of underground nation.
The air in the room froze as Foaly recited the verse quietly, moving the LEP officers almost to tears in the way only centaurs can as readers of poetry.
Spheres aligned channel great realms of pure power
what once drove two races apart and asunder
must now be destroyed or all, even light, will
fold and crumble under apocalypse thunder.
An alchemist's treasure People must locate
and change the horror of race who will dictate
the Universe, better in peace than in war
such the People's mandate, so they resonate."
The room was still; even Root's face looked more like the 'after' mug shot in a skin whitener commercial. It was as if there were others in the room, mystical forces somehow summoned by the reading of the stirring verse, before which there was no response other than awed and sacred respect.
Captain Holly stirred. "Does the Tuatha original have a similar palimpsest?"
"Yes. It simply says, 'The other originals have important messages coded this way.'
The awed and sacred respect deflated like a punctured balloon.
"All this is some mystical mumbo-jumbo! What does the LEP have to do with this? The Council wanted such rhymes; let them have it." Commander Root had regained his trademark complexion.
"Oh, really. Don't you want some adventure. Now that Arty's gone, you might never get a chance for excitement again."
"Stop it, you horse ass!"
"I am not a horse! And I am NOT an ass! I am a centaur! Read my lips - "
"Oh yeah? They're so thick, you could put a meat patty between them and have a hamburger!"
"You're so red, they oughta call you Tomato Root!"
Captain Holly was still in a daze. She always was dazed a while once she heard his name. Only Captain Trouble took the trouble to tell them to
"STOP IT!"
They snapped out of their debate and looked, abashed, at Trouble. As if explaining, both stuck out their fingers (well, Foaly his hoof) at each other and said simultaneously, "HE started it."
"Whatever, you two," Holly snapped. "So, Foaly, what does the Council want with the LEP?"
"To them, it sounds like the rhyme calls for the retrieval and harnessing of several ancient artifacts. Who else to do it?"
Three LEP officers groaned simultaneously.