Title What if I loved you
Author Jamie
Email: brown-eyed-dreamer@juno.com
Archive Why yes... I'd be tickled!! Just lemme know where so I could
go take a peek.
Category MSR, and a wee taste of Scully other in the beginning....
but you ALL know that they get together, right??
Disclaimer NOT MINE... I'm just borrowing Mulder and
Scully to have some fun with them... ;)
Summary When Mulder discovers that Scully has a significant other,
Mulder realizes that he's in love with her.... and he would do ANYTHING
to get her back.
Author notes: At the end
And now... on with the show
PULLS CURTAIN
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What if I loved you?
Would you love me too?
Would you have the same feelings
That I feel for you?
What if I loved you?
What if I loved you?
Would you let me kiss you?
Would we tear down this wall between us?
I have loved you since I first saw your beautiful face
Since our hands first touched
Since you spoke your name
What if I loved you?
Mulder sat at his desk, looking at the picture of Scully on his bulletin board. 'What if I loved you Scully?' Mulder thought to himself. 'What would happen?'
Mulder was getting restless. Scully had been reassigned to Quantico for two weeks. One day had passed and Mulder was miserable. He casually went down to see her yesterday, only to see that his precious Scully was in the arms of another man. A man that Mulder wanted to kill.
Mulder couldn't get their conversation out of his head.
"Come with me Dana." He said. " Come on, Love. Just for the weekend."
"I don't know Cain." Scully said. " I have another autopsy to do."
"That you could finish before the end of the day." Cain said. " I could be your assistant."
"Ah, but you're forgetting that I have a scalpel in my hand." Scully
said in her teasing voice.
"And you're forgetting that I am a foot taller than you and can pick
your little feet off the ground." Cain said as he picked a screaming
Dana Scully off the ground and began to tickle her unmercifully.
~~~
'LOVE?' Mulder thought to himself for the fifth time that
day. 'Scully couldn't be involved with this guy, could she?'
Mulder went through the conversation over and over again in his head.
'Impossible!' he thought to himself as he rolled his pencil on his desk. "Scully and I don't keep secrets from each other. She would have told me."
"What is a name like Cain anyway?" Mulder grumbled as he stood up from his chair to stretch his legs. He had a meeting with Skinner in a few minutes and he was NOT looking forward to it.
Mulder walked to the elevator and pushed the UP button.
'Who IS this Cain guy?' Mulder thought to himself as he pushed the button to the floor that Skinner's office was on. "And how long has he been seeing her?"
Mulder was going out of his mind with this thought. How long had Scully been seeing this guy and why did she keep it from him?? Mulder started to pace back and forth in the elevator. "Why, damn it, why?" Mulder muttered to himself. " I love her."
'Huh?' Mulder thought. 'Where did that come from?'
"I love her." Mulder said laughing. " I am in love with her."
The elevator brought him back to reality as it stopped and opened its doors
Mulder walked out of the elevator with a big grin spread across his beautiful face... He was in love with Scully. The mere thought had him almost skipping down the hallway to Skinner's office.
Mulder walked into the office... "Good Morning Agent Mulder." Kimberly said. "Assistant Director Skinner is expecting you...."
"Good mornin' Kimberly." Mulder said, showing her a mouthful of pearly white teeth
"Good morning Agent Mulder."
Kimberly said. "You're awfully chipper today"
"That I am." Mulder said as he walked into Skinner's office.
Mulder could not seem to stop smiling. He felt like the luckiest son-of-a bitch alive. He wanted to shout his love from the rooftop... like an old 'Fiddler on the roof' 'I am in love with Scully' Mulder thought to himself as he chuckled lightly. He didn't have the
damndest clue what Skinner was talking about and he didn't care.
"Am I boring you Mulder?" Skinner asked impatiently drumming his fingers on the desk.
"What?" Mulder said, surprised. "I'm sorry sir... I guess my head is in the clouds today."
"Well get off cloud nine and get back to work." Skinner said, angerly.
"Yes sir."
Mulder dreaded going back to his office. That office where for 5 years, he and his little redhead worked side by side. He was afraid. Afraid that if things got serious with Cain, that his precious redhead would leave him. Then what? Could he go on without her?
Mulder walked to the elevator and pushed the button that lead him into his haven.
'Could I go on without her?' Mulder thought to himself as he ran his long slender fingers through his hair. 'I don't think that I could.... I love her too much.'
When the doors to the elevator finally opened, Mulder took a deep breath and walked out the doors, preparing himself for yet another day without Scully
Scully had just finished her 4th autopsy. She rubbed her cramping hands as she took a step back from the gurney.
"Deidre!" Dana called out to her.
"Yes Dana?" Deidre asked, walking towards her.
Dana and Deidre had become very close in the short time that they have worked together. Deidre, being almost 6 feet tall with long blonde hair, had just transferred into the beauru from a small town out west.
"I have just finished the last autopsy," Scully said. "There is nothing else to do here, so I'm going home... I have a-"
"Date?" Deidre asked. " Oh by all means... GO! I was going to leave early too."
~Knock, knock~
"If that's Mulder, I swear..."
"Who's Mulder."
"I'll tell you later." Scully said, walking to the door and opened it.
"Hey gorgeous."
"Cain.." Sully said, smiling. " What are you doing here? I thought that we were going to meet at my apartment.
"I couldn't wait."
"Apparently" Scully said as she closed the door, and Cain walked inside.
Cain moved his mouth down to hers and kissed her pouty lips. " I missed you."
Scully laughed.
"You must be Cain." Deidre said, butting into everything as usual.
"Why yes, I am." Cain said. "Has someone been talking about me? A wee little redhead perhaps?"
"Maybe." Scully said, grinning.
"And you must be Deidre." Cain said.
"That is a most definite." Deidre said in a flirty tone.
Cain smiled.
"Well, I'm off." Deidre said. It was nice meeting you Cain, and I'll see you tomorrow Dana."
"See you Deidre." Scully said, laughing.
"Let me change out of my scrubs..." Scully said, tilting her head up to look at Cain.
"Aww, do you have to?" Cain whined. " I kinda like the sight of you in scrubs."
"Yes Cain." Scully said, laughing. " I must"
Mulder was going insane. Two days without Scully and he was loosing it. Whatever happened to the man who always worked alone? He fell in love with Scully, that's what.
Mulder was sitting at his desk, staring at the unopened files. He could swear that the office smelled of Scully and it was distracting him. " I'm pathetic," Mulder said, pushing away from his desk and resting his feet on top of the desk.
All of a sudden, there was a knock at the door.
"Its open." Mulder said looking up at the ceiling, where at least a dozen pencils were stuck in it.
Skinner entered.
"Mulder are you getting ANY work done?" Skinner said in an angry tone.
"Um..."
"Um what?" Skinner said. "It is a yes or no answer."
"Not really."
"What does that mean?"
Skinner thought for a moment. "This doesn't have to do anything with Scully, does it?"
"No sir."
"Then what is it?" Skinner said. "You've been walking around with that 'pathetic me' look on your face for two days now.... Ever since Scully was transferred to Quantico for two weeks."
"I guess I just miss her sir."
"You guess?" Skinner said. " I think that is a most definite."
"Why did you really come down here, sir?" Mulder said. I assume that it wasn't to see if I was missing Scully."
" I came down to get the Hannigan file." Skinner said. " I need to look some things over."
"Why didn't you send Kimberly to get it?"
"Its Five o'clock Mulder." Skinner said. "Kimberly left for the night."
Surprised to hear that it was five, Mulder picked up the Hannigan file off his desk and handed it to Skinner. "Thanks Mulder." Skinner said, turning to leave. "Do yourself a favor and go home."
"Yessir."
Have I really been thinking of Scully all day? Mulder thought to himself. It was so easy to dream of her kissing him, telling him that he was the one that she loved. He had always had these fantasies of her in his dreams, but he never thought anything of it, telling himself that it could never happen, that SHE could never love a paranoid shmuck like him.
"God, I'm pathetic." Mulder said, getting ready to leave for the evening.
Driving home, his thoughts were on Scully, once again.
~~~
"So where are you taking me?" Scully asked Cain as they walked down the hallway leading to her apartment.
"You'll see, beautiful." Cain said. "But first, we must be dressed appropriately for the occasion. If you look on your bed there should be a box waiting for you."
"Oh Cain, you shouldn't-"
"Ah, but I did beautiful." Cain said. "A woman needs to spoiled every now and then, Dana."
Scully smiled as she unlocked the door.
~~~
Mulder walked out of the elevator and walked to his apartment door.... He took out his keys, slightly glancing at the key marked "Scully". He sighed a deep sigh as he unlocked his door. Seeing his answering machine light blinking, he immediately walked to it and pressed the "play" button.
You have two messages.
Message#1--- Frohike Hey Mulder... we are going to order pizza and do some major hacking tonight. Wanna join us??
"Nah... I'm not in the mood for the three stooges."
Message#2 --- Call me now. I'm hot and ready for you. Don't leave me lonely. Call me 1-900-555-LOVEME
"Tempting.... But no."
Unenthused by the messages that were on his machine, Mulder walked to his bathroom to take a shower.
~~~
When Scully looked at herself in the full-length mirror, she was surprised at how beautiful she looked. Cain had bought her a long black spaghetti strap dress, with a slit coming up to her lower calf, complete with a small tiara to put in her hair, and gloves. The dress fit her tightly, revealing her curves that are usually hidden beneath her business suits and scrubs. She had decided to wear her hair up, putting it in a small bun on the top of her head, with small tendrils of auburn on each side. She placed the tiara in the middle of her head, being ever so careful not to mess up her hair. She then put the gloves on her arms, smoothing out the wrinkles as she pulled them up to her elbow. She took one last look in her full-length mirror, grabbed her evening bag out of her closet, and walked out of her bedroom door.
Scully found Cain sitting in a chair in her living room. Cain was looking at a magazine that was sitting on her coffee table. He looked up suddenly, hearing the noise from Scully's shoes. What he saw would forever stay in his mind.
"Dana, you're beautiful." Cain said, putting the magazine down to take a good look at her. "I'm going to be the envy of every man tonight." "Thank you Cain. "Scully said blushing. "You're the one who picked out the dress."
"And did I ever pick out a good one." Cain said, nervously putting his hand through his hair.
"So." Scully said. "Where are you taking me?"
"You'll see." Cain said, taking her hand.
~~~~
Mulder walked around his apartment, wearing his boxers. His towel lay loosely around his neck, to catch any water that would fall from his head. He walked to the kitchen in search of food. Opening the refrigerator, and finding nothing of interest, he grabbed his sunflower seeds from his cabinet and headed to the couch to watch some TV.
~~
Scully and Cain drove in a comfortable silence... Scully wondered where Cain could possibly be taking her, and Cain wondering what the night would bring. After 10 minutes of this, Scully spoke up
"You are taking me dancing, aren't you?" Scully asked, lifting a brow
"You figured it out FBI woman." Cain said as he turned into the parking lot.
" I knew it." Scully said laughing.
"Come on gorgeous." Cain said. "Lets go."
~~~
Mulder was getting restless. He ~tried~ to get some sleep, He tried not to think of her. He was unsuccessful in doing both. All he could think about was loving her, kissing her, spending endless nights holding her in his arms. Finally, with Scully totally in his mind, he drifted off into a Scullyfantasy.
~~
'I haven't had this much fun in a long time.' Scully thought as Cain held her tightly. She had not thought about Mulder in two days, and that was a record for her. She felt happy for once. For once, she did not think of Mulder every minute of everyday, of kissing those kissable lips. She knew that she loved Mulder with her entire heart, but she also knew that Mulder could never love her the way that she loved him She would ~NEVER~ leave the xfiles, but she needed to move on in her personal life WITHOUT MULDER.
~~
Mulder was deep into his fantasy of Scully. He did not even realize that someone had broken into his apartment.
"Get up!" The intruder yelled. Mulder jumped off the couch, startled.
"What the fu- "" Mulder yelled, eyeing for his gun. "Who the hell are you?"
"Who am I?" The intruder yelled. "Who am I? You should know."
It was then that an imaginary light bulb appeared above his head. "Hannigan?" Mulder asked. "When did you get out?"
"Doesn't matter now." Hannigan said, pointing the gun at Mulder. " I've here to tie up some loose ends." Then he shot the gun.
~~
Scully felt the vibrating of her phone in her evening bag. "Oh..." Scully said, pulling out of Cain's embrace to answer the phone.
"Scully."
"S-Scully I-its me." Mulder said
"What's wrong Mulder?"
"I w-was shot."
"Why didn't you call the paramedics?"
"Had to call y-you first." Mulder said. " I n-need you s-Scully."
"Alright, I'll call the paramedics on my way there." Scully said as she hung up.
"What's the matter?" Cain asked as he walked closer to her.
"My partner was shot tonight."
"Your... partner?" Cain asked. " And I thought that you cut up dead bodies all day."
"I was assigned to Quantico for two weeks because I have medical training and they needed a hand." Scully explained. " I am really assigned to a different division of the FBI."
"Alright then, lets go help this partner of yours."
"Thank you Cain."
The car was silent on the way to Mulder. Scully was worried about Mulder, and Cain knew it. 'How long have they known each other?' Cain thought to himself with a small pang of jealousy. 'Are they close?'
Scully called the paramedics for Mulder on her cell phone.
Scully and Cain walked to Mulder's apartment and walked through the open door.
"Scully."
"The ambulance is on their way Mulder." Scully said, trying not to let the pain show on her face. She hated it when Mulder was shot. It turned her stomach inside out each time it happened.
"Hurts..."
"I bet it does." Scully said as she walked to the hallway closet and retrieved a towel and put pressure on the wound.
Cain stood by the doorway, watching out for the ambulance. He hated seeing them this way, so... close. Almost as if they were lovers. Cain secretly wished that the ambulance would come, right at this moment.
Mulder wearily looked at Scully. He had never seen her look so beautiful. The dress that she was wearing revealed every luscious curve on her body, not holding anything back. Mulder hated the fact that Cain was the reason that she looked so beautiful tonight, that Cain was the one she was dressed up for, and not him. Mulder wanted to shoot him for it.
"Sorry I r-ruined your date Scully."
"Its okay." Scully said. "Its not your fault that you were shot."
Mulder smiled wearily, as the paramedics paraded into the room.
I assume that you want to go with him." Cain said as Mulder was being loaded into the ambulance.
"Yes... I do." Scully said. " I'm sorry this evening turned out this way."
"It's not your fault." Cain said. "Or his for that matter. Things happen."
"I'll see you tomorrow?" Scully asked.
"Definitely." Cain said as he lowered his mouth to hers and gave her a sweet kiss.
"Goodnight then." Scully said as she climbed into the ambulance with Mulder.
~~~
It had been at least thee hours since Mulder was taken to the hospital. He had just gotten out of surgery and intensive care, and was now situated into a room of his own. Scully sat there in the uncomfortable chair beside his bed, waiting for him to awaken. She had been there for at least an hour and she was getting bored. She had taken off her shoes and set them beside the chair, feeling relief from the hurting that the shoes were giving her. She sighed a deep sigh as she pushed a strand of auburn hair. "Come on." Scully urged softly... "Wake up."
A few minutes later, Mulder woke up. "God, I feel like hell." he groaned, as he fully aroused from his slumber.
"Well hello to you too." Scully said, a smile peaking at the corner of her mouth.
"Hi.." Mulder said. "How long have I been here?"
"A while." Scully said. "You had a long surgery, but you'll survive."
Mulder smiled. "That's good to know."
" I would seem to think so." Scully said. " You should be out of the hospital in a week."
"Promise me, that you'll be careful Scully." Mulder said. "This guy is after me, and he could be after you too. I don't want you getting hurt, or killed for that matter. I don't know what I would do if it did."
"I promise Mulder." Scully said, taking hold of Mulder's hand and squeezing it.
Mulder smiled. " You look beautiful tonight, you know that don't you?"
"Thank you." Scully said, blushing.
1200 A.M.
Scully's apartment
"He said I looked beautiful." Scully said. "He's never said anything like that to me before." She shed her dress and walked into the bathroom in her bra and panties. She opened the middle drawer in her bathroom and took out her brush. She brushed her hair, slowly and thoroughly making sure to get all the tangles. She had taken the tiara, and carefully set it on her vanity. She then finished her nightly routine, and put on a fresh par of silk pajamas. She walked into kitchen, filled her teakettle with water, and set in on the stove. 'Why would he say something like that?' Scully thought to herself. 'Why now, after all these years that we have been partners? Was it just a friendly comment, or was it meant to be something more than that?' She knew that Mulder was completely lucid when she was with him, otherwise he would not have been a smartass.
The whistling of the teakettle brought her back to reality.... but she was confused. Did Mulder think of her in the way that he hoped, or was he after all so heavy on the drugs that he did not realize what he was saying. With that thought in her mind, Scully poured herself a mug of tea, and headed off to her bedroom to sleep
800 AM
The next day
Quantico autopsy lab
Deidre took a John Doe out of the freezer, and tried to put him on the gurney...
"Need some help?" Scully asked as she walked into the room.
"Yea..." Deidre said. " This guy weighs a ton."
"Just let me put on my scrubs." Scully said laughing.
Within a few minutes with much pushing and shoving, along with many naughty words, they finally got the John Doe onto the gurney.
"So..." Deidre said, getting her autopsy tools. "How did it go?"
"How did what go?"
"Your date silly."
"Oh." Dana said, smiling. "It started out good.
"But-
Mulder was shot last night.
"Who's Mulder?"
"Mulder is my partner for the past 5 years"
"5 years!" Deidre exclaimed. "Wow."
Scully smiled. "A suspect shot him last night."
"Is he okay?"
"Yeah..." Scully said. "He's well enough to be a smartass."
Deidre laughed. "Oh, he's that kind of guy, huh?"
"Lets just say that his mouth can get the best of him."
"Is he cute?"
Scully blushed. " Better than cute... he's gorgeous."
"Oh really?" Deidre said. "Like Brad Pitt gorgeous?"
"Better than Brad Pitt."
"You like him?"
Scully grew quiet.
"I knew it." Deidre said. "Its more than that, I can see it in your eyes.... y-you love him."
Scully nodded.
"But-"
"He doesn't know that I feel this way... and besides... I don't think that he thinks of me in that way."
"Well how do you know if you have never told him?"
~~~
Mulder dreamed of Scully. The dream that he was the one that was spending endless nights in her arms... he dreamt that HE was the one that she was in love with. He tossed and turned, longing for the heat of her body, to enwrap his long arms over her small frame.
'But who am I kidding?' Mulder thought to himself as he awoken, and thought of his dream. 'She could never love me that way.' But oh how he wished that she could.
A week had passed and Mulder fully recovered. After spending 4 days in the hospital, he was finally back to work. Scully had dutifully visited him those four days in the hospital, so desperately worried about him because of his wound.
Mulder walked to his office and unlocked the door. The smell of Vanilla Fields, which was Scully favorite perfume, filled his nostrils. God, how he missed her already, even though he just saw her yesterday. Mulder took of his jacket, hung it on the coat rack, and walked to his desk to boot up his computer. 'Today is going to be a long day.' Mulder thought to himself, as he looked at the open files that lay on his desk. He slightly grumbled, as he was still, slightly sore. He walked to the file cabinet to retrieve another file that he was doing more paperwork. It was then when he noticed that his phone was blinking. He retrieved the file out of the cabinet, pulled his chair away from his desk and sat in it. He pushed the button on his voicemail and listened.
You have one message....
"Mulder it's me." Scully said. " I have a Ronald Wilkman in the autopsy lab. I believe that he's a suspect in a case that you are working ion...thought that you would like to look at the paperwork, or the heavy man himself. Call me if you are interested."
End of message....
Mulder picked up the phone and called Scully at Quantico. Deidre answered.
"Deidre Cummings."
"Deidre, this is Mulder, Scully's partner... is she there?"
"Um... yeah... just hold on one second Mulder."
"Dana! Phone!"
Mulder shook his head and laughed. A week and a half and they were like sisters.
"Scully."
"How come you didn't answer the phone?" Mulder asked, letting the poutiness show in his voice.
"Well gee Mulder." Scully said smiling at Deidre, who was listening in on the conversation. " I had bodily goop all over my hands."
"Yuck." Mulder said. "Okay that's a good enough excuse."
"So what is this about a Ronald Wilkman I hear of?"
"Yeah, well. You are working on the Wilkman case right? An unidentified body came in this morning and from the description that you gave me of Ronald Wilkman, I think that this could be him."
"What about the dental records?"
"Deidre is doing that now. "Scully said, shooing Deidre away to actually get the test done. "We should have them in a half hour or so, if you are interested."
"But of course Scully." Mulder said. " I'll be there in a half hour.
"Alright then." Scully said before hanging up the phone. "See ya Mulder"
"THAT was Mulder?" Deidre exclaimed.... "God he sounds sooo dreamy!"
"Deidre, that's not the half of it." Scully said, smiling as she thought of him. "Not even close."
End part one
A/N More to come! Please Read and Review. Also look into my other stories, this kiss series and Belonging Together
~Me