Disclaimer: X and related characters belong to Clamp. Not me.

Blinded

An X/1999 Fanfic by pluto-mint

Summary: Fuuma is confused about his feelings to a certain someone. AU X story with no end of the world issue. F/K/K and Fuuma/Subaru (?) in later chapters

Blinded

Prologue

I am never much a dreamer. I don't believe in hope, I don't believe in wishes, and of course I never believe in dreams. My sister said that dreams are made to be real. Dreams are the things that you will keep on chasing in your entire life. You should believe in dreams. For nothing really matters to you anymore when you finally had it in your hands.

But like I've said before I never believe in dreams.

Dreams will only hurt you in the end. Because no matter how much you believe that the dreams will come true, in the end the dreams will only exists in your sleep. Why would you want to hurt yourself? That's why I never believe in dreams.

***

"Kotori, did you bring your lunch box?"

"I got it in my bag, Oniichan"

"What about the pills? You didn't forget to bring it didn't you?"

"Oniichan, please stop being a mother hen. I'm not an eight year old anymore."

"I know. But I just can't help it."

My name is Monou Fuuma and the girl to whom I talk to is my younger and only sister. Her name is Kotori. Our parents had died few years ago so that explains why I'm acting like a mother hen to her. I also happen to be a bit over protective to her. Well, that's what she said anyway.

This morning, as usual, we go to our school together. She's always cheerful in the morning. But today her golden hair shines brighter than usual and her eyes seem to glow with more happiness. Maybe she had a wonderful dream last night. I can't help but wonder what it is.

The school was already crowded with students when we got there. It's kind of hard to find a parking lot for my bike. When I finally found the perfect place, I feel a hand tugging at my shirt. It was Kotori's hand of course.

"What is it Kotori?"

"Oniichan," she smiled to me with her wonderful smile, "I had a wonderful dream last night."

Yep. My guess was right.

"I dream about Kamui. In my dream I saw him coming back to Tokyo and stay with us. Isn't it wonderful Oniichan?"

Kamui.

The name somehow makes my heart beat a little bit faster. And I don't know why.

"Kotori, Kamui had already left Tokyo nine years ago," ah the sudden leave, I always hate to remember that part, "but then again it's your dream we're talking about so I think there's a chance for his returning to Tokyo."

"You don't believe in dreams do you Oniichan?"

Now she knows my secret.

"Maybe. But one can still hope, can he?" I try to assure her with my smile.

"Of course he can, but why is it so hard for you to believe in dreams? That's the only thing I hate from you Oniichan."

Kotori never got angry with me. But when I make some mistakes she always looks so sad. And right now I can see sadness dawn into her eyes. In the end of the day I'm sure I will end up hating myself for making her sad.

"Kotori, I'm sorry. Tell you what I'll cook the dinner for you okay? Now wipe that look off your face or Kamui will never recognize you." It's always nice to tease her around.

"What's wrong with my face?" As clueless as ever that's my sister Kotori.

"Nothing's wrong with your face. You are beautiful. And I will pick you up after I clean up the dojo okay? It's my turn this week. Besides I don't want to make Arashi fuming at me."

"Okay. Say hi to Arashi chan for me"

I try so hard not to blush when she kissed my cheek.

***

Arashi and I had become best friends since our first year. She's my classmates and also my best friend at the kendo club. When I was elected as the kaichuo at the kendo club, she became the secretary. We are so close there's even talk about us being a couple. Which is kind of ridiculous, I think. Because no matter how close we are, we could never be lovers. She doesn't love me and vice versa. We are simply best friends for life.

I don't love her. But I think it's not so hard to understand why it's so easy for a guy to fall in love with her. She's the woman that could define 'Japan's classic beauty', long and silky black hair combined with a marvelous alabaster skin and a body shape that could show the gracefulness inside her. Let's not forget about a pair of piercing eyes that could see your deepest desire.

And…I think those eyes are staring at me right now.

"Fuuma, don't just stand there! Give me a hand will you."

Damn, but those eyes can be scary sometimes.

"Arashi.., I need to pick Kotori right now. Besides I've already finish my job sweeping the floor."

"Always the over protective brother are you? She's 16 this year Fuuma. You should give her more rooms for herself you know."

"Shut up"

"Ne Fuuma, why did you look so happy today? Did something good happen last night?"

"Did I? Nothing special I guess, but there's a dream that I've been thinking of a whole day"

"A dream huh? I wonder what it's about," there's a mischievous smile on her face, I hate that, "sooo did you have a good time in your dream?"

DON'T BLUSH! DON'T BLUSH! DON'T BLUSH! DON'T BLUSH!

Hah! I think that works. But still I can feel my cheek is tinted with a faint pink shade right now. Arashi always loves to tease me around. Sometimes I can be as red as tomato when she teases me. Thank god she didn't do it in public or I'll lose my 'cold' reputation.

"Sorry to disappoint your hentai thoughts but it's nothing like that." I can't stop myself from grinning at her. Well what do you know? Apparently our ice princess is having hentai thoughts too sometimes.

"Well, I'm all ears you know.."

"I'll tell you later ok? Can't let Kotori wait too long."

She only answers me with a huff and something sounds like "jerk" under her breath.

***

As much as I trust Arashi as my best friend, I never told her about Kamui. What would I say to her any way? That he's my child hood friends, Kotori's fiancé, or maybe my first crush? I don't think I'm able to say those things to her. Well, at least not with her teasing me about it.

Kamui is..

Hell. I don't even know who Kamui is to me. I can't even term my feelings to him. All I can remember is the pain, the loneliness, and the sweetness left from a golden afternoon where we played on the temple's backyard.

I remember his violet eyes that could shine so bright they could melt an ice. I remember the happiness I've felt every time I heard him laughing at nothing special, or the shy smile he gave me every time he saw me secretly watching his every move. But I also remember the loneliness and the betrayed feeling I have every time I remember his goodbye wave.

What is this feeling? So painful and yet so blissfully blessed.

***

I didn't see any sign of Kotori in the parking lot. My heart starts to get worry. I run to the school backyard hoping to find her sitting under a tree with a book in her hands.

Lord, please let her be okay.

When I get there I see her long golden hair waved around by a gust of wind. I can hear her laughter. Thank God she's okay.

But who's with her? They better be nice to her or I'll..

All I can see is the person's back. A boy, with silky black hair, just a little bit taller than her, is talking and laughing with her.

"Kotori!"

"Oniichan"

The boy turns his face at me so I can see his eyes.

Violet.

"Fuuma."

.. K a m u i..

***

I am never much a dreamer. I don't believe in hope, I don't believe in wishes, and of course I never believe in dreams.

But that doesn't mean that I don't dream.

I dreamed of Kamui sometimes.

A/N: So.. how was it? Please let me know if you like it or hate it. And please don't be so mean to me.. this is my first fanfic anyway.

Review please! Thank you! ^-^