Disclaimer: X and related characters belong to CLAMP. They're not mine.
Blinded
An X fanfiction by Pluto-mint
Warning: A bit lime-ish on this part.
Pairings: F/K, S/S, F/Su, Kamui/Kotori?
Ratings: PG-13
Sorry for the long Update minna-san! Enjoy this part! ^__^ BlindedChapter 3
The dojo was already empty since the practice session is already over. But a boy was still sitting silently in the corner of the room. His long and spiky bangs are covering his perfect golden eye. Through the slightly opened window, an evening breeze is ruffling his already ruffled hair.
The boy was thinking about another boy. It's always about that boy. Lately he's been haunted by the shadow of the boy. Violet. That's what he saw every time he closed his eyes. The violet shade of his eyes. Why?
He sighed for the fourth time in a row.
Kamui. Why do I have to feel these feelings for you? What have you done to me Kamui?
He was so deep in thought he barely heard the footsteps that's coming into his way. Nor did he feel the presence of another person inside the dojo.
"What's with the long face Fuuma?"
Kishuu Arashi was standing by door way with her long hair tied in a neat pony tail. Her beautiful face shows concern and genuine sadness. She was still wearing her hakama just like the boy who was sitting silently inside the dojo.
"Arashi."
Why does he find it assuring every time he heard Arashi's soft spoken words? Maybe it's because when he's with Arashi he never have to hide himself. Arashi knows all his unspoken secrets and she understands. He smiled toward the girl, acknowledging her presence. The girl only shook her head and makes a move by crossing the room and sitting right besides him.
"Don't think too much."
"What?"
"You heard me. I said don't think too much." Suddenly Arashi turns her face and smiles at him, "Sometimes you just have to let it flow Fuuma."
"Let… it flow?" He was puzzled by Arashi's words.
"Yes, my dear Fuuma. Feel the flow and you'll understand." She grins at him with a Cheshire cat like grin.
"I'm not Pocahontas and you're not Granny Willow so don't talk to me in puzzle because I don't understand what you're talking about." He lifted one of his eyebrows to emphasize the meanings of his words.
"Ne Fuuma, you're so thick sometimes." A pout is on Arashi's lips. "I can see that you're in love right now that's what I'm trying to say to you. You're just too blind to see it by yourself."
"Me? Arashi… I'm not in love. Confused? Yes. But in love? That's a little bit too much don't you think?"
"Say what you want. But I know what I see."
He sighed in defeat. Maybe Arashi is right. After all, these feelings he gets every time he saw Kamui must meant something, right? Sometimes he felt so happy just by seeing a smile creeping into Kamui's perfect feature, but there are also times when he felt so sad and alone every time he saw Kamui holding his sister's hands. And sometimes it even hurts deeper when he realized that Kamui would never see him, at least not in the way he wanted him to see.
It pained him so much just to think about it. Maybe it is love. But love is not supposed to feel this way, right? It hurts because he knows that his love is unrequited. Kamui could never love him in return. The boy was already in love with his beautiful sister for so long. Didn't they say that it takes two to love, right? Maybe he was meant to love someone he could never have.
"What's wrong? You don't seem so happy with the fact." Arashi must have seen the sadness that glides inside his heart.
"Nothing's wrong."
Of course nothing's wrong. Kamui loved Kotori and vice versa, they would be happy together. Everything is fine, really. Even if it means he could never have the one that he loved most for himself. But there's nothing wrong with that, right? He doesn't have the right to feel sad when the two persons he loved most are happy. That's what really happens, right?
He should be happy as well.
"How could you tell me that nothing's wrong, when all your eyes do is betraying all your feelings inside?"
Arashi's soft fingers are tracing his cheekbones with gentle touches. He tried to avert his gaze from her eyes. He's afraid that he would spill everything inside his heart when he looked into her eyes.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine. Nothing's wrong." A smile always covers a perfect lie. "You don't have to worry about me. We'd better concentrate ourselves on the next month Kendo Competition."
He rose from the floor with a cold determination that he would never let such trivial matters like his feelings toward Kamui breaking his concentration from everything. What he feels toward Kamui is not important. The only matter is Kamui and Kotori's happiness. Nothing else matters to him.
"But Fuuma, denying it won't do any help. The feelings won't go away even if you ignored it." Arashi's hands are tugging at his sleeve. A frown marred her beautiful face, making it filled with worry and sadness.
He stopped and turned his head to see the girl's face. He only smiled slightly as he spoke, "You're reading too many shoujo manga Arashi."
"Fuuma," Arashi walks toward him and stares him right on the eye, "Don't think. Just let it flow."
And then the girl do something that is unexpected from her, she hugged him slightly before she whispered to him. "I will be here for you, when you need me to."
The taller boy only smiled and nodded. "I know."
***
"Ne… Kamui-kun, have you decided which club that you're going to join?" Segawa Keiichi is standing besides his best friend, Shirou Kamui, with a curious look on his face. The two boys are enjoying the lazy afternoon together simply by observing the school's club activity from the second floor balcony.
"Ngh… I don't know. I don't find anything interesting here." Kamui didn't lie because he did feel quite bored only by watching the whole school club activity.
"What about joining the football club? All the boys in school want to enter the football club since Kotori-chan is the manager. They all hope to catch a glimpse of her or maybe if they're lucky enough they could date Kotori-chan one day. Blind hope, I'd say. Monou-sempai won't let that happen, not in a million years." Keiichi is pointing at the football field where a bunch of male students are trying to catch Kotori's attention. Kamui only shrugged, "I don't know. I don't really think that I need a reason only to be close with Kotori-chan."
"Sorry. Forgot that you're one of those special people who's allowed by Monou-sempai to be close with Kotori-chan." Keiichi only grins at him with a silly lopsided grin.
"Hn."
In the corner of his eyes, suddenly Kamui saw something interesting. A bunch of students with hakamas are laughing and walking together. It looks like they just finished their practice session.
"What about those students? Which club are they?"
"You mean the ones with hakamas? They're from the kendo club. Monou-sempai is the kaichou. Most girls join the kendo club for him while the boys join the club for Kishuu Arashi, the secretary. Speak of the devil, there they are."
Kamui saw a beautiful girl with a long pony tail is talking with a tall boy in a friendly manner. The boy shook his head few times before the girl catch the boy and… HUG him!!!
Kamui's eyes widened in amazement. He just saw Kishuu Arashi HUGGED Fuuma, his best friends. He heard a whistle is coming out from Keiichi's lips.
"So I guess it's official then."
"What is official?"
"Ne Kamui, can't you see what's just happened? They're quite a picture aren't they? Beautiful people, that's what they are. You know… the talk that saying that they're already an item. Not too impossible I supposed. I can see that the thick layer of ice is melting down every time she's around Monou-sempai. Man, he even let her hugged him. Trust me, Segawa Keiichi, as your number one gossip teller."
"Keiichi, I think you're just making things up."
"What? You didn't believe me? But you just saw them HUGGING. Oooh I can't wait to tell the Monou Sempai's fans club about this."
"Fuuma has a fans club? Weird." Kamui quickly shook his head to clear off his mind before adding his comments, "But it's just a friendly hug Keiichi, there's nothing wrong with that."
Kamui's protest was only answered with a snort.
***
"Oniichan."
In the middle of the school corridor, a girl is standing with a smile in her face. Her golden hair was overflowed with the golden lights emanating from the afternoon sky.
"Kotori, what are you doing here? I thought you're supposed to be with Kamui by now."
"Ne Oniichan, you're not forgetting that I'm the Football club manager aren't you?" Kotori answers him with a giggle. Her beautiful face looking slightly tired and there's sheen of sweat on her forehead. She was carrying a basket filled with wet towels and dirty football uniforms. Apparently she's just finished her core on picking up the dirty stuff from the Football club room.
"I thought I already tell Yuuto not to bear you with such physical activity like this." He was angry to see his sister in a condition like this. Secretly he swore that he would get some 'talk' with Yuuto right away. "Your heart cannot bear such burden like this Kotori. I think you'd better quit the club right now."
"Oniichan! The doctors already said that it's OK for me to do this!" A huff answered his angry statement, "Besides Oniichan, I'm the one who ask for the job my self from Yuuto-sempai."
"Kotori…"
"I thought we already agree with this." The girl is giving him a death glare right now. She was ready for a battle, judging from the way her hands stuck on her waist.
He sighed. "Okay… okay… I give up."
"That's more like it." Kotori smiled at him with a sweet smile. "Ne Oniichan, It will take quite a long time before I finish the laundry. If you want to, you and Kamui could go home first. I'll go home with Keiko-chan today."
"No. I'll wait for you. Besides I'm sure Kamui will wait for you too."
"Niichan…" Kotori sighed. She really doesn't want to bother her brother again. She's 16 this year and it's quite natural if she wanted a space of her own. It's not like she doesn't love her brother, but sometimes she felt as if she's already taking too many times and parts of her brother's life. A pang of guilt always coming over her every time she remembers on how Fuuma used to put everything aside only for her. She wanted a life, not only for her but also for her brother.
Fuuma ruffled her hair affectionately, "Don't worry. I'll tell Kamui about this and we can go home together."
But Fuuma always smiled and told her that everything would be alright. And she hates to see that smile fade away every time Fuuma saw her with a sad look on her face. That's why she never stopped smiling.
"Oniichan…"
"Hn?"
"Thank you."
And she smiled. That's the least she can do for him.
***
After spending the whole afternoon watching the club activity, Kamui still doesn't have a clue on what club he's going to join. But he needs to join a club because the school counselor has already asked him to join a club in order to promote his social skill. A sigh is coming out of his lips. Right now he has a sudden urge to bang his head on his school desk in desperation. Maybe Keiichi could help him, since the boy knows so much about the school.
"Keiichi, what club are you in?"
"Me? Well I join the school newspaper club this semester. It's a pretty fun club, I think. We used to gather loads of gossips… er… I mean information from the students."
School newspaper eh? Sounds like fun. Well, Kamui always loves to write though he's not a very good writer. Besides he doesn't really go for sports and other outdoor activity. Maybe the school newspaper club would be a good choice for him.
"OK. I'll join the club."
Kamui was picking his things up when Keiichi suddenly grope him from behind. He yelped before finally fall to the floor along with the blond boy.
"I'm so happy Kamui-kun. You won't regret your choice." The blond boy was hovering over him and hugged him so tight, he can barely breathe.
"Keiichi, I can't breathe."
"Sorry." Keiichi grins sheepishly before letting go his arms. "I just got over excited."
"Keiichi… you're so heavy, you could move now." A blush is slowly covering his cheeks when he realized the situation he's in with the blond boy. With Keiichi laid atop him, anyone will obviously thinking that he's in that state for a purpose.
"Oh okay, it's too bad since the view was great actually."
Keiichi was about to move when the classroom door was suddenly opened by a very shocked Fuuma.
***
He can't believe his eyes.
Did he just see Kamui in a very compromising position with another boy? He saw a blond boy hovered over Kamui's slender frame and Kamui's state doesn't do any help to his imagination. A blush is creeping in the boy's face, added with his slightly messy hair they are making him look more and more… sexy. Thus they're leaving his imagination everywhere.
He blinked twice before finding his voice,
"Kamui…?"
A sudden wave of anger is flowing inside his vein. Fuuma was angry. So angry because it wasn't his hands that's touching Kamui's body. He turns his face to hide his anger from Kamui.
"Sorry to disturb you but Kotori said that she'd be late. You… you could go home first if you want to. I…"
Kamui saw the changes in his best friend's expression. Fuuma always turns his face when something bothered him. He gently pushed Keiichi aside and tried to catch Fuuma's hands.
"I guess I'll leave the two of you alone."
Just before Kamui manage to hold his hands, Fuuma turns his back and start to walk away. Seeing his best friends back speeding away, an aching feeling filled Kamui's heart. Fuuma's steps are forceful and fast. Kamui nearly run and jump the stairs in order to catch him.
"Fuuma, wait!!"
Fuuma stopped in his track. His fists were balled and they're shaking with anger. He counted to ten to hold his fury.
"Fuuma…You've misunderstood. There's nothing between me and Keiichi."
"Fuuma…" a hand is touching his hand gently making the fist yield and open itself, "Please don't be angry." He felt that Kamui's fingers are snaking between his own fingers. A bowed head is leaning on his shoulder, spreading a warm feeling inside his heart. The scent of apple and mint was coming from Kamui's silky head. He had fall in love with the scent since his childhood days.
He sighed.
Kamui is right. What right does he have to be angry with Kamui? Kamui's love life doesn't concern him. He was, after all, only a childhood friend of Kamui.
"I'm not. I'm just tired."
Kamui loved the feeling he gets when he feels the way Fuuma's fingers intertwined with his. He sighs as he puts his head in Fuuma's broad shoulder. He felt secure and protected. It assures him that Fuuma really cares about him just like the way he used to be in their childhood days and the realization makes him happy, more than anything in the world.
"Really?" He tries to look into Fuuma's golden eyes but his best friends only averted his gaze. He felt hurt.
"Fuuma?"
Fuuma turns his eyes to see Kamui's violet eyes upon hearing Kamui's hurted voice. Did he just hurt him?
"I'm sorry." Fuuma's voice sounds so gentle and caring. Kamui closed his eyes and leaned closer to him. He loved the scent of Fuuma's body. He smelled like rain and musk.
"It's okay." Kamui smiled because he just saw himself reflected in Fuuma's golden eyes. Fuuma cares. He knows it the moment he looked into his eyes.
Deep inside his heart, a question was nagging Kamui's mind. Why did he bother himself to catch Fuuma just because he doesn't want Fuuma misunderstood his situation with Keiichi?
Why?
***
Please tell me why can't I breathe when you're near me?
Breathe when you're close to me…
Kamui's body is warm and pliant under his. He can feel the pulse that was running under his alabaster neck. Fuuma's lips start to search and explore the skin making the body under him writhing helplessly. He had always adored Kamui's ivory skin. He amazed to the softness he felt under his lips.
I know you know
I lost in loving you deeply
Loving you secretly…
He traced his fingers on to Kamui's jaw line lovingly, as if he wanted to savour the feelings he get every time he touched the skin. He'd been holding the feelings for too long. Keeping as a secret in his life.
Before he fell in love with Kamui, he never knew that loving someone secretly could bring so much sorrow to a soul. It hurts so bad when you're unable to tell the one you love how you feel about them.
"Kamui… I…"
And I crashed in my mind whenever you are near
Getting deaf, dumb, and blind
Just drowning in despair
"Kamui, I love…"
His lips start to move, feel, and touch the skin under him. He kissed the lips desperately. Their tongues start to dance in a rhythm. Kamui's lips are soft and yielding under his. But his eyes are closed.
I am lost to your flame, it's burning like the sun
He needs to see those eyes as he spokes the words. He whispers hoarsely, demandingly, "Open your eyes for me Kamui."
And I call out your name the moment you are gone
"Kamui…"
"Kamui… I love you."
The boy opens his eyes. But Fuuma finds them empty and blank. There's no reflection of him in those violet orbs. In the end he can only whispers sadly,
"I will never have your love, will I … Kamui?"
The moment you are gone…
***
That night, Monou Fuuma wakes up to find the tears flowing over his cheek bones and disappeared somewhere around his neck.
TBC
A/N: Finally I can update this chapter! Sorry for the delay I was bedridden for about two weeks due to my mysterious illness T_T. I was so weak I cannot touch my PC .
So what do you think about the chapter? I try to put some lime part on this chapter. I tried… but apparently it doesn't work ~_~ I was too busy in hiding my blush when I type the part. For you Sei-chan shipper, Sei-chan is coming in the next chapter. And oh yeah I put a quotation of a song in the fic, does anyone knows what song it is? It's Saybia's The Day After Tomorrow. ^o^ I love the song and I think the song really describe Fuuma's feelings on this chapter.
WiredGIRL-san: Oh you would? I'd love to see it. By the way, I don't know why but apparently the email was having a trouble so I changed my email to white_mint_ice@yahoo.com ^_^ I'm really looking forward to see your picture.
Yanagi-san: Your Fuuma on Millions of Dreams really reminds me of Gackt. Thank you for the compliment!
Lady Zephyros-san: Thank you for the correction! You're right. And I'm sorry for the long update.
Saria-san: Ryuichi Sakuma ne?
"Yuuki is mine!!!"
"Yours am I?"
This is one of my favourite dialogue in Gravitation. About Kotori, I guess you just have to wait and see. Sei-chan is coming on the next chapter. ^-^
Yamato-san: grins I'm sorry for the long update. About Kotori? Oh you nearly spoiled the surprise. ^__^
And the last but not least Athrun forever! I'm still crazy about the boy! ^o^ Now that he and Kira are no longer enemies, I am longing to read a yaoi fanfic about them.