Disclaimer: X and related characters belong to the one and only CLAMP. Not mine.
Blinded
An X fan fiction by Pluto-mint
Summary: X AU with no end of the world issue, just boy fall in love with another boy.
Warning: Shounen ai and a bit lime in other chapters.
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: F/K/K, Seishirou/Subaru, Fuuma/Subaru, etc.
Minna-san… sorry for the long update! Enjoy this chapter for Sei-chan is here!
Blinded
Chapter 5
It was a quiet afternoon. Only a faint rustle of the window curtain, billowed by the evening breeze, could be heard. Beside the windowsill, a vase filled with roses was resting over the nightstand. The dim light of the sunset flowed through the window glass, creating a river of gold along the figure lied in the middle of the bed.
It was a boy, no, maybe a man on his youth. No more than twenty two, with soft and wispy hair, looking so beautiful and fragile in the midst of the white sheet tangled around his body. His closed eyelids covered the golden irises below. His hair, thrown carelessly around his effeminate face and fallen over the white pillow, created an illusion of halo for him. Drowned in his sleep, the youth looked almost like a sleeping beauty.
Almost.
Because, as beautiful as he was, the image was broken with the sounds of his shallow breathings, the weak beeping sounds from the life supporting machine, the perfect stillness of the body, and the IV tube tangled around his arms.
The youth was not asleep, never was asleep. He was lost in his unconsciousness, drowned in the state of a coma and looked so fragile in his sleep. Alone that he was, wandering on his dreams. Sometimes some people visited him, they talked to him. Sometimes they wondered if he was able to hear them in his sleep. But that didn't stop them from talking. And right now the room was empty, thus it became so silent.
But the silence was lost when a soft knock was heard and soon it followed by the creaking sound of an opened door. Someone was there to visit the youth and maybe he would stay for a while to read him something from his favorite poetry book.
The visitor's face was welcomed by the soft gust of the wind came through the opened window. He was a man with a handsome face, beautiful in some intriguing way. His expression was soft and yet unreadable with his glassy brown eyes covered by a silver frame spectacle. His tall frame was clad with a black suit and a neat black tie. With an armful of flowers, sunflowers to be exact, the black coat rested gently in his other arm. He smiled slightly as he saw the figure sleeping on the bed.
Slowly, he walked to the windowsill, emptied the vase from the roses and filled it with all the sunflowers in his arm before sitting gently in the edge of the bed. The coat was rested somewhere on the nightstand. Bending his back to lean closer to the youth, he gave the youth a gentle kiss in his forehead.
"I'm sorry I haven't visited you for a while. There are a lot of things to handle." His hands were holding the youth's hand, interlacing their finger with his and brushing his hand to his cheek. "Oh, I hope you don't mind I changed the roses she gave you with these sunflowers." His eyes softened as he gently wipe the bangs from the youth's face. "But I guess you wouldn't be mind, would you? After all, in the language of flower, the sunflowers mean that 'I'm always watching you'. They would be a good company in your solitude. It must be so lonely to be stranded here all alone."
Loneliness caught in his eyes. The man, just like the youth, was alone all the time, lonely and lost with no one to hold. For a while the eyes looked so distance, as if they were trying to pull something from the past. There were times when things weren't this complicated, there were times when he could laugh without lying to himself. That he was laughing for the happiness that he truly had.
But he didn't live in the past. He shook his head to clear off his mind.
"Believe me, I know the feeling too well… Kakyou."
Sakurazuka Seishirou smiled gently as he kissed the other's hand softly.
***
Subaru stood in the middle of the park, under the midst of the falling leaves, with his head tilted up to see the early night sky and the newly awaken moon. Its silvery glow started to light up the night. He had always fascinated by the moon. Fascinated of how its pearly white surface always reminded him to a certain someone. So far away and always out of reach.
And yet it looked so beautiful, he couldn't help himself not to fall into the mystery.
He shivered from the cold gust of the winds, hands on his pocket sought for warmth. In times like these his sister used to make him a hot chocolate to give him some warmth. He felt so cold and lonely by standing there, reminiscing to the past that always haunt him.
If only… if only he could forgot the past and moved on. But he couldn't. That's why he felt so cold and distant.
Something pulled him out of his reverie as warm breaths ghosted around his cheek bones. "Subaru, why did you always daydreaming every time I see you?" Fuuma breathed slowly as he wrapped his arms around Subaru's smaller frame. "You're cold. I'm sorry for making you waiting. Kotori just finished her weekly meeting with the doctor a few minutes ago."
He smiled slightly at the sudden warmth that was covering him. "Ne Fuuma, it's okay."
Fuuma lose his arms around Subaru and smiled. "Baka. You could've waited for me some place warmer than standing here."
"Don't call me baka." Subaru crossed his arms and huffed.
"You're right. Baka doesn't suit you. Baka-chan would suit you perfectly." Fuuma grinned and ruffled his hair. "Hey, you better watch your manner. I'm older than you remember?" Subaru frowned at him.
"Oh yeah?" Fuuma bent his back and whispered lowly in Subaru's ear, trying to be seductive, "Well, I'm taller than you Subaru-chan."
Subaru blushed furiously and Fuuma burst out laughing.
"You really are cute."
Subaru secretly smiled, he'd gotten used with his best friend's teasing. It's sort of reminded him of the past actually. It's comforting in a strange way. Fuuma's teasing always gave him that warm feeling inside his heart.
The slight tugging on his shirt snapped Subaru out of his little trance. "Come on, we'd better get you something to make you warm or else your grand mother will kill me for making you sick."
"A cup of coffee sounds like a good idea."
"Coffee?" Fuuma's brow started to knit together, "I think there's a coffee shop nearby the hospital maybe we could try some. Okay. Let's go." Fuuma pulled Subaru's hand and lead their way to the coffee shop.
After 10 minutes of walking, and some childish teasing from Fuuma, they finally found themselves sitting in a cozy corner inside the coffee shop just beside the glassy window. "This is a nice place." Subaru smiled and started to check the menu. "Well, I hope the coffee's great." Fuuma had already decided that he wanted to try the mocha latte. "What are you going to order, Subaru?"
"I think I'll try the cappuccino."
"Your wish is my command, my dear Sumeragi-sama." The younger boy grinned at him and waved his hand to call the waitress. A woman, in her late twenties, was approaching their table. She was a beautiful woman with gorgeous wavy red hairs and a body that could made every men turned their eyes on her. From the way she dressed, it appeared that she was not a waitress maybe she's the owner of the café.
"I'm sorry for the inconvenience. Our employee is taking a day off due to her sickness. I am Kasumi Karen at your service." The woman winked at them, making Subaru's face tainted with a faint shade of red. "Such a sweet couple you are."
Fuuma almost choked when he saw Subaru's expression. The older boy's face had turned so red he could matched a tomato.
"Why, thank you Kasumi-san," Fuuma grinned and decided to test if Subaru's face could turn any redder than a tomato, "I think my dear Subaru-kun wanted to try the cappuccino, as for me, I'd like to try the mocha latte please."
Karen giggled softly and Subaru's face was beating a tomato.
"Your orders will be served in 5 minutes, I hope you enjoy our specially blended coffee." Karen smiled seductively, winked at Subaru before she left the table and spoke, "You got a charming boyfriend Subaru-san."
Fuuma nearly burst out laughing when he saw all the colors faded away from Subaru's face. The boy had turned so pale when he heard Karen's statement.
"Fuuuuumaaaa….." Subaru hissed under his breath. "Why, I'm hurt Subaru. Don't you want to be my boyfriend?" Dramatically Fuuma wiped his tears -from laughing too hard- and clutched his heart in a pained expression.
Subaru sighed in defeat and muttered, "Baka."
Fuuma just grinned and said, "You just can't resist my charm."
When their coffee served, Subaru was lucky enough to survive all the teasing without having his head blasted due to all the blood rushes to his head.
The smell of freshly brewed coffee invaded all his senses. They gave him a pleasant feeling inside his heart. He shook his head and started to stir the cappuccino calmly.
"My grand mother is pleased with your academic achievement. She wanted to prolong the scholarship until you finished your degree in the university."
"She did?" Fuuma asked incredulously while sipping his coffee, "Why?"
The Monou's was not a poor family but after his father's death Fuuma had to deal with some financial difficulty. Mainly it's because of Kotori's treatment due to her health problems. Fuuma wasn't even sure that he could continue his education to the university degree. Fortunately, Lady Sumeragi had known their father for a long time and soon all of their 'little financial problems' was taken care by the infamous Sumeragi corp. Lady Sumeragi also seemed to be quite fond to him. Maybe it's because he was Subaru's best friend.
"I don't know." Subaru shrugged and sipped the coffee silently, "The coffee is nice. My grand mother also wanted to see you as soon as possible."
"I can't leave Kotori all alone." Fuuma frowned. "Do I really have to go Subaru?"
"Apparently my grand mother wanted you to go to Kyoto University. Maybe she wanted to convince you. I think she wanted you to stay in Kyoto so that I would never go to Tokyo again just to see you." There's a serious look on Subaru's face. "She always wanted to control my life."
"She wanted what is best for you." Fuuma replied calmly. "She thinks that it would be best for you to stay in Kyoto. But I guess the reason you went to Tokyo all the time is not only to see me."
For a while there's a glint of something in those deep emerald eyes. "I hate your mind reading capability."
"That's a part of my charm." That seductive smile was there again. "Your grand mother wanted you to have the best. But the only person who knows what is best for you is yourself. Don't push yourself Subaru."
"What I want is something that I will never have. What I want maybe is not what is best for me." Subaru sighed. "I just wanted to be happy."
You feel lonely, the little voice inside his heart chimed, you wanted to be with him. Subaru felt a little embarrassed for saying things like that in front of Fuuma. He lifted his head to see the teasing look on his best friend's eyes but instead he found them blank and empty.
"Happy…" Fuuma's eyes seemed so lost in his own thought, lost in an illusion of a certain pair of violet eyes. Kamui.
"Everyone is looking for their happiness." Fuuma's smile couldn't conceal the sadness in his eyes. "I wanted to be happy too…" but I can't be happy if I ever hurt someone that I love. He didn't love me though. His voice was barely a whisper.
"Fuuma…" Subaru's hand reached his best friend's hand, squeezing it gently. "Fuuma… are you okay?"
A faint shade of pink tinted the younger boy's cheek. "Aa…" A sheepish smile was there to cover his embarrassment. "We all wanted to be happy, don't we Subaru?"
"My sister used to tell me to strive for my own happiness. To make my wishes come true, to reach for my dreams." Subaru smiled slightly. The mention of Subaru's sister caught Fuuma's attention. Subaru rarely talked about his past, let alone his sister. "My being in Tokyo is related to her advice. I am here to make my wishes come true."
"Whatever it takes?"
"I guess so. We have the right to be happy Fuuma."
Fuuma smiled upon hearing Subaru's answer and brushed his hands along Subaru's cheekbones, "You surely are a persistent one Subaru."
"Not really." Subaru blushed at the sudden touch, looking really cute when he's shy.
Fuuma's mouth twitched into a grin. "Then I'll just have to take my words back because I think that you're really cute right now." His words were answered by another shade of pink in Subaru's face.
He laughed and it felt really good to laugh. Subaru knew him too well. Somehow the older boy had comforted him, telling him in a strange way that it's not wrong to love Kamui.
We have the right to be happy.
***
The rain drops fell softly to the ground. He stood in the middle of the crowd. He was alone and yet not alone at the same time. Shielded by the midst of panicking people due to the rain's sudden fall, he watched all his surroundings. His eye glasses were wet with all the droplets of water flowing on its glassy surface. A few meters away from his spot stood a coffee shop. He could easily avoid the trickled rain by entering it. But he didn't. He didn't want to be seen, beside he loved the feeling of how the soft rivulet of water soaking through the fabric of his shirt, washing away whatever feeling he had inside his heart. His black coat hung loosely in his hand. A breath he didn't know he was holding escaping through his lips.
The rain started to fall more heavily. He was sure that he would get himself soaking wet if he didn't put his coat on. But he couldn't move, couldn't tear his eyes off the couple sitting nearby the café's window glasses. Two boys, in their late teen, laughed and smiled to each other. They looked so happy.
The taller boy brushed his hands along the smaller boy cheek bones, rewarded by a beautiful blush. The golden eyed boy laughed and the emerald eyed one smiled shyly. He gritted his teeth so hard, his jaw hurt. A whimper escaping his lips, "Subaru…"
Was it fate that he'd seen the boy he'd been avoided to see for these past five year? The boy had grown into a beautiful man, more beautiful than his dreams. He used to hold the boy in his arms, soothing him with soft whispers, touching him with his fingers. And now the boy was touched by someone else's fingers, smiled to another one's compliments. Subaru was his in the past. He never claimed to love the boy but Subaru was his nevertheless. And he would claim what was his back.
He stared at the couple for a quite some time before Subaru caught his eyes. Those deep emerald eyes had changed, they used to be so bright but now they were tainted with an empty hole. Subaru thinks about me. He smiled as hew took off his eye glasses, you're still mine Subaru-kun.
He smirked at the thought. He could easily snatch Subaru out of the golden eyed boy hands right now, Subaru was way too attached with his past. But he won't. His emotion had over powered him. He couldn't think clearly, all of his action could turn into a reckless move. Besides, he smirk, he didn't want to scare Subaru away.
The boy inside the café abruptly stood from his seat and rushed to the door. Turning his back, slowly, he walked away from the café. He didn't want to see Subaru right now, not when the golden eyed boy was with him. There would be times –oh yes, there will- when he could get Subaru all alone, he smirked once again, and he didn't have a plan to let the boy slipped away from his hands.
You are mine Subaru, Seishirou thought with an enigmatic smile in his handsome face.
***
"It's raining." Fuuma spoke in a gentle tone.
"I like the rain." Subaru stated in a low voice. Smiling at the memory of playing in the rain with his sister, Subaru sipped his cappuccino once again.
"I'm glad that Kotori had forced me to bring an umbrella. She said that summer rain is bad for your health." Fuuma laughed softly and patted his back pack, "I take it that you didn't bring any umbrella with you."
Nodding his head, Subaru smiled and answered, "I'd rather play in the rain than wearing an umbrella."
"You could be so childish some time." The golden eyed boy just smiled and turned his face to see the street. It was almost dinner time, the moon hung over the night sky with a few stars on its side. Making the night sky looked so beautiful despite the rain.
Subaru just smiled and sipped his coffee for the last time. He looked to the outside and saw people panicking and scattered due to the rain that fell heavily. Some people didn't understand the simple joy of standing in the middle of the rain. In the corner of his eye he caught a figure standing in the midst of the rain. A man stood in the middle of the rain his coat off, hair dampened by the rain, and smiling at him. He took off his eye glasses, revealing his deep brown eyes.
Seishirou!
Subaru abruptly rose from his seat, earning a look from his best friend.
"Subaru?" A tone of worry colored the Fuuma's voice. "Fuuma… I'll wait for you on the outside." Subaru answered with a shaky voice before running to the door.
He's here. He's watching me.
Seishirou…
Once he's on the outside, his eyes started to sweep all his surroundings.
The man was no where to be seen. Was it only an illusion?
"Seishirou…" a shaky breath escaped from his lips.
The rain splattered around his face, he felt so cold and empty. He wrapped his arms around his body, trying to warm himself. Did he miss Seishirou that much? Making an illusion of him in his mind? He wanted to cry.
"Subaru…"
An arm draped around his torso. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." He lied to Fuuma. He could hear the other boy sighed, warm breath caressing his skin, making them warm. "It's okay. Everything is going to be alright."
Fuuma hold him a little tighter. Subaru turned his head and whispered with a shaky breath, "Can I stay with you for the night?"
The taller boy smiled. "You didn't have to ask." Fuuma knew that right now Subaru needed a comfort. Whatever that's outside the window a few minutes ago, they had turned Subaru into this vulnerable being in his arm. Opening the umbrella with his free hand, Fuuma pulled Subaru inside the umbrella, and holding him closely.
"Saa… let's go home. I think Kotori had prepared the dinner for us."
TBC
A/N: Sorry for the long update, my computer crashed and it took quite a long time to fix it. I was also losing my will to finish the fic. It's been a difficult chapter to write, especially because Seishirou-san is here. I don't know how to write him because this is an AU fic. So I've decided to put Seishirou-san as who he is. But I won't make a bastard Seishirou, Seishirou-san is Seishirou-san *sigh*, he maybe evil but he's not a bastard.
What do you think about this chapter? Or maybe about Sei-chan? I love Sei-chan, Sei-chan is CLAMP's epitome of masculinity (I read it somewhere on the net, forgot the site…). So please review ok? And read the next chapter because this is only a half way of the story.
The last but not least, Athrun! Athrun! Athrun! Has anyone seen Gundam SEED? You have to see it!!! Athrun forever! Yay!
MoO-mOo3-san: Don't worry the fluffy moments is going to be here soon! ^__^
Aikawa Fuuko-san: Aikawa-san, sorry there's no Kamui on this chapter but I hope Sei-chan's presence pleased you. ^o^
Margaret-san: I will write that kind of 'action' again on this fic, but I'm not an expert in writing limey chapters. Wish me luck Okay? ^__^
Fara-san: I will. I'm sorry for the long update. ^__^
Cayenne-san: Gomen for the long update! I'll update the next chapter as soon as possible. ^__^
Sorcha-san: Your review is the one that made wrote this chapter. Thanks for the review ^__^ I might never wrote the chapter if I hadn't got your review.