Ninety Eight - BF
In the kitchen Scott found the chocolate cake and took it to the dining table. He was in the process of getting a couple of plates when he heard a sigh behind him.
Virgil was staring into the cutlery drawer.
Scott walked over so that he was able to lean against the counter beside the drawer. That way Virgil's Comm-specs could pick up his speech. "What's wrong?"
"Oh nothing." Virgil took a couple of forks out of the drawer and shut it. "It's just every now and then I remember something that I can't hear. I had a sudden wish to be able to hear the cutlery clanking together. I've never thought anything of it before and then all of a sudden I miss it!"
"I know what you mean." Scott admitted. "Years ago John had swiped Gordon's spear gun and was hiding from him in my bedroom. He managed to rip the wallpaper with the gun. It really irritated me, that rip. I'd wake up in the morning, resolve to fix it before the end of the day, leave my room, forget about it, come back in the evening, and there was that rip still in the wallpaper. Still irritating me! And then I lost my sight. And one of the things I initially missed seeing was that annoying rip in my wallpaper. It's also one of the first things I forgot. I remembered how the important things looked, like you guys, but I forgot the unimportant ones, like that rip. Now I can't decide whether to repair it or frame it!" He took the plates to the table.
Virgil followed him over and took a seat. "So it does get easier does it?"
"Easier? I don't know. You grow to accept it, and, like I said, forget the unimportant things." He cut two generous wedges of cake and placed them on the plates.
"It's not as bad for me as what you went through though is it."
"I don't know. I don't know what you are going through. You haven't said much. I'd imagine it's totally different."
"I would think so. Initially you were helpless. I'm not."
"But you've lost one of your senses. That's got to be a shock. How are you managing to keep so calm over this."
"I think it would be a bit hypocritical for me to go to pieces after I told you to get your act together."
"But that was after I'd learnt to cope, when I'd regained some control." Scott touched Virgil on the arm to ensure that he had his full attention. "It's okay to be scared, or angry. It's only natural. Remember I've been there, done that, didn't think much of the view."
"So what are you expecting me to do?"
"Yell, scream..."
"...Break the furniture."
"I don't think you'd be popular, but everyone would understand. Or there's plenty of places on the island where you could go and yell your head off and no one would need hear you."
"Including me."
There was no answer to that statement.
"What would it achieve, Scott?"
"You might feel better."
"Honestly, I don't know that it would!"
"There must be something you feel like doing."
"No."
Scott looked at his brother. "You're a worry."
"A what? Don't talk with your mouth full. The Comm-specs can't understand you. I read it as 'florry'."
Scott swallowed the mouthful of cake. "Sorry. A worry."
"Well, that's better than a florry."
"Whatever that is." Scott grinned.
"Can I ask you a hypothetical question?" Virgil looked earnestly at his brother.
"Shoot."
"If you were out on a rescue, and you had the chance to rescue one person, but in doing so you knew there was every possibility that you'd be permanently blinded again. Would you do it?"
"Possibly, probably or definitely blinded?"
"Um... probably." Virgil decided.
Scott thought about the question. "Speaking hypothetically. Yes. I think I would. I know I can cope being blind. But having said that I'd take every precaution to avoid it happening again." He waited to see if Virgil was going to comment on his answer. When it became clear he wasn't, he returned his attention to his cake.
"Do you know what I really miss hearing?" Virgil asked suddenly.
Scott looked at him. "Is this a trick question?"
"Laughter."
"Laughter?"
Virgil gave a small smile. "Yes laughter. I suddenly realised how much laughter there is in this family."
"Such as?"
"Gordon laughing to himself, and you just know that next time you put your boots on there's going to be something disgusting in there that he's swiped from the lab... Alan and Tin-Tin giggling together when they think there's no one else about... John, when he's just come home after his tour of duty in Thunderbird Five, and is trying to get used to being around people again. You..."
"Me?"
"That snort you do when something's happened that you think you should be all 'big brother serious and reproachful' over, but you really think is quite funny. And then you try to disguise it as a sneeze. That's the kind of thing I miss."
"I do that?"
"You do that!"
"Oh." Scott mused. "Laughter."
"You thought I was going to say music, didn't you."
"I did actually."
Virgil cut into his cake. "I do. I miss it terribly. I go into my bedroom and go to turn on the stereo and it's not there. And that hurts. But I miss hearing you guys more."
"I know what you mean..." Then Scott gave a chuckle. "Way back when I'd just come home from rehabilitation, I asked Father if he knew what I'd wish for if I was going to be allowed to see just one thing. I'm pretty sure he was expecting me to say Thunderbird One."
"And you weren't?" Virgil asked in surprise.
"No I wasn't."
"Well what did you wish for?"
Scott looked at his brother. "I wished to see you. To show you that I didn't mean what I'd said." He looked Virgil full in the face. "I got my wish."
"Just shows you should be careful what you wish for then, doesn't it." Virgil grinned embarrassedly.
"I'm glad I got my wish... It's a bit hard getting used to seeing you behind those glasses though."
Virgil removed the Comm-specs and looked at them. "There're not exactly a fashion statement are they. Still, they work." He rubbed his eyes. "My eyes get a bit tired after reading all day though."
Can I try them? Scott took the Comm-specs and put them on his own face.
Virgil burst out laughing. "Is that what I look like?"
How do they work? Scott started to say and then stopped when he saw his words appear before his eyes. That's so weird. Doesn't it drive you crazy seeing everything you say?
"No. I'll bet you're not reading anything now. It's the way Brains has programmed them."
"Clever." Scott handed them back. A devilish look crept into his eye "So if I were to say 'the quick brown fox h..."
Virgil laughed again. "I wonder what Penny would have said if we'd explained it to her."
"She'd have probably laughed too. It's Parker would have been horrified that we'd even think of saying such a thing to 'M'lady'."
"He'd think we were a pair of uncouth Yanks."
"Ever met a 'couth' one?"
"No. I don't think there is such a thing." Virgil took off the Comm-specs again to examine them. "I wonder how these would cope with Parker's speech. All those dropped aspirates must be murder to read. I'd have to get Brains to do something about it. He reckoned he could remove his stutter."
"We're lucky we've got Brains..."
"You mean with a capital B don't you." Virgil chuckled. "I've found a glitch in the Comm-specs, they spell Brains with a lower case B. Different meaning altogether."
"Yeah." Scott grinned. "I'm not too sure if we've got the lower case B one. No, what I was saying was that the upper case one has really helped us both over the past year or so."
"And without him International Rescue would never have got off the ground. Literally."
"Yes." Scott had a mouthful of cake and took another look at the painting, which he'd placed on the table. "I can't believe that you'd be willing to give such a masterpiece to me, after what I did."
"I know you didn't mean it. The problem was that I'd only just convinced myself that no one else would think that the accident was my fault, including Ma, when you said that very thing."
"I'm sorry..."
"And then I started thinking, if Scott thinks that, maybe Ma did too. That's what really hurt."
"She wouldn't. I'm positive she wouldn't." Scott reiterated.
"I told myself that you didn't mean it. That you were just angry... But every now and then over this past year you'd say something, or do something that made me wonder..."
"I did!" Scott said, alarmed.
"Under normal circumstances I would have thought it was just normal banter, but it set me wondering..."
"Such as?"
"You hitting me!"
"But you forgave me for that!"
"I did. It was afterwards that I started wondering if maybe it was more than just frustration that caused you to lash out."
"Is that all?"
"No. I know this is going to sound soppy, but do you realise that tonight was the first time that you've given me a hug in years?"
"A hug? I gave you one before my operation."
"No. I gave it to you."
"There's a difference?"
"Yes."
"But you know I'm not into that physical affection stuff. None of us are."
"I know. But when you came home after being in rehab everyone else got one. Even Brains and Kyrano. You put me into a headlock. Normal behaviour. Just what you'd usually do. But for a moment I wondered was it because you were behaving as normal, after all it'd only been a couple of weeks since we'd last seen each other and we'd travelled home together.... Or was it because you really didn't want to get that close to me."
"Normal behaviour."
"I know. But for a moment I wondered."
Scott looked at him, a pained look on his face. "I hate the idea that I hurt you so much... so much that you couldn't believe in me. Under normal circumstances that's the last thing I would want to do. Unfortunately that day in rehab circumstances weren't normal... You disappeared for a few hours afterwards. Where'd you go?"
"I went down to the beach. You know the one that's two miles away from the facility. I don't even remember walking there."
"I'm sorry." Scott repeated.
"I know. And I forgive you."
"If you knew how I've long I've wanted to hear you say that. I thought you were still hurting, every now and then I'd sense that something was wrong, but I couldn't believe that you wouldn't say something. No one else appeared to notice anything wrong, so I thought maybe it was my imagination, that I was still feeling guilty. Until the day before my operation when Kyrano asked if we were okay... I guess it's true what they say about there being none so blind as those who won't see. That described me perfectly. That's why I wanted to talk to you. I wasn't worried about the machine. I was worried about us. You gave me a hang of a fright when you blew up at me."
"I know. I'm sorry. And I'm sorry for the way I've been behaving the last few weeks.
"You've been avoiding me."
"Yes I have. I was that embarrassed over what I said to you that night, I didn't think I could face you. "
"You were embarrassed!" Scott was amazed. "I thought you still hadn't forgiven me. "
"You did!? No, my talk with Father sorted me out on that score. I thought maybe you wouldn't like me anymore. "
"Not like you! Is your self esteem that low that you'd think that I could ever not like you?"
"But I've always looked up to you. And then I go and tell you that I hate you. I know how much those words hurt me... and I didn't like the idea that I'd done the same to you."
"Virgil...!" Scott sighed. "Why didn't we talk earlier? "
"I tried. A couple of times I tried. But something always happened. Tin-Tin would fall into the ocean or I'd manage to get myself blown up." Virgil gave a wry grin.
"I tried to talk to you too. I even got Father to help. He got everyone out of our hair so that we wouldn't be interrupted, and I locked the door behind you so you'd have to stay and listen."
"And I wanted to apologise then, for the way I was behaving. I was sitting there thinking 'come on Virgil, say it', you'd stop talking and I'd go to open my mouth, and you'd start off again!"
"And then the alarm went off."
"And then the alarm went off."
They were silent for a moment.
"You know the last thing you said to me after you'd 'kidnapped' me... You didn't mean that did you." Virgil said hesitantly, toying with his slice of cake.
"That you hadn't... that I hadn't said all I wanted to say?"
"No, before the alarm went off."
"Um... what did I say?" Scott frowned as he tried to remember.
"Don't worry about it. It doesn't matter." Virgil said hastily.
"No... what did I say." Scott was still frowning.
"That... when you look at me you don't see Ma..." Virgil began reluctantly.
"Oh that!" Scott's face cleared. "It's true. I don't see Ma. I see you. I see my hero."
"You were only saying that weren't you?"
"No I wasn't! That's the truth! I don't tell lies."
"Do you want to amend that comment?" Virgil asked wryly as he helped himself to some more cake.
"Uh, yeah, I guess I'd better. I don't tell lies unless under extreme provocation when everything is out of my control."
"But why me. I thought maybe Father, or someone in the Air Force, or someone else. Anyone but me. I'm not heroic!"
"You're a member of International Rescue! Of course you're heroic! Why are you MY hero? Because of the way you don't give up. Because of the numerous times we've been out on a rescue and things have seemed hopeless and you've still been willing to risk your neck and get stuck in. Because of the way whenever things have been hard for me you've been there to support me. Everyone else seems to lean on me, and there's been times I've needed to be able to lean on someone else. Because of the way you helped me through Regnad and later in rehab. Because, no matter what I've done to you, you've still been there for me. Because you've got talents that I'd kill to possess."
"Talents?"
"I'm jealous of your skill with your painting and drawing, and... forgive me for saying this... playing the piano. I'm proud to call you my brother!"
"Oh." Virgil said quietly. "Thank you."
Scott felt the need to fill in the silence that followed and helped himself to the last of the cake.
"I guess I don't need to give up totally on International Rescue do I." Virgil said quietly.
"No of course not."
"But I can't help with rescues anymore."
"Not necessarily!"
"Face it, Scott. If I can't hear I'm useless! Take yesterday... When I think how easily I could have walked right past you and not even realised you were in trouble. You could have died and I wouldn't have known."
"But I didn't die. You saved my life!"
"No, I'll have to accept that can't take part in rescues anymore. But I can help Brains and Tin-Tin with research and development. Or I can take charge of the maintenance. That way when you guys come home from a rescue, you can relax and get in your debriefing, and I can check over your craft and prepare them for the next call out."
"That's a good idea!"
"And perhaps... sometimes... if it's a simple transportation job... I could still fly Thunderbird Two?"
"It's a thought."
"Or, outside of International Rescue, I could be personal pilot to Mr Jeff Tracy."
"You'd spend more time in the passenger seat. You know he likes to fly himself."
"Yes. I guess that's not an option."
"I don't know. Talk it over with him. There might be times when he'd like to be able to concentrate on work, or he might appreciate the company."
"I'm going to miss being out there on rescues with you guys."
"And we'll miss you." Scott sat back. "You've been really thinking about your future haven't you?"
"Yes."
"That's what you need to do. Think about what you can do, we'll help with what you can't and don't sweat the small stuff."
"Then I shouldn't worry about losing my music..."
"I didn't say that..."
Virgil dropped his fork on the plate. "Why do I feel as though someone's died?"
"Come on, Virgil. There's not a person in this place who doesn't know how important your music is to you. I remember being dragged along kicking and screaming to piano lessons. You went willingly. Were all making excuses why we shouldn't go and you're sitting in the car yelling at us to hurry up so you wouldn't be late. I'm surprised we didn't send Father totally crackers... not to mention what the neighbours must have thought with all that yelling."
Virgil groaned. "What was that epitaph about us eating too much cake? I think it's about to come true." He looked at the platter that now held nothing but crumbs. "Grandma's going to be annoyed with us tomorrow."
"We'll clean up and she won't even know it was us who did it. We can blame Alan and Gordon." Scott started clearing the table.
"That wouldn't be fair though, would it?" Virgil rose to help.
"Is it fair that they keep on calling us old?"
"No... I wouldn't mind, but I'm not that much older than those guys! How come they treat me as if I'm..." a grin formed on Virgil's face, "...as old as you?"
"Hey watch it! Or you might find yourself being labelled as the sole culprit..." Scott's grin matched Virgil's. "...Or a florry."
"Better than a worry."
They finished the washing up and guiltily replaced the dishes.
Scott picked up his picture. "What say we go and find somewhere to hang this now."
"No. It's too late. We'll wake everyone with the drill."
"We don't have to hang it now. I just want your advice as to where's the best place to put it."
"I'm sure wherever you come up with will be fine." Virgil protested.
"Come on, Virgil! It's time you started thinking about joining us in the lounge again. You can't avoid it forever."
"What do you mean?"
"Now don't go all defensive on me. It's been pretty obvious to everyone that you've been steering clear of the lounge... and what's in there."
Virgil went quiet.
"If I tell you something silly about me and my blindness, will you consider going into there now?" Scott asked quietly.
"How silly?"
"Really silly."
Virgil managed a slight grin. "You've got me curious now."
"Is it a deal?"
Virgil hesitated. "Yeah, okay," he said reluctantly.
"Okay then." Scott took a deep breath.
Virgil waited.
"I haven't looked in a mirror since I got my sight back."
Virgil stared at him. "You what?!"
"I haven't looked in a mirror."
"It's been two months! Why? How?"
"I've been blind for a year. I've seen how you've all changed in that time, maybe not a lot, but you all have. You're all that little older. It's been a hard year and I can see it in your faces..."
"And?"
"And... I don't know if I want to see it in mine."
"But how have you managed to avoid using a mirror?"
"I haven't needed one." Scott gave a slight chuckle. "Obviously I can cope without using one. Shaving's not a problem, and neither's doing my hair or anything else that you would usually use a mirror for. When I get up in the morning it's still dark, so I don't turn the light on. My bedroom mirror was plastered with Braille messages, and I haven't removed them. I look away when I go past any other mirrors."
Virgil stood for a moment in shock. "Scott." He said seriously. "That has got to be one of the most amazing things I've heard." He shook his head. "Also one of the most ridiculous. You haven't changed that much."
"Yes but any change has been gradual for you, you've had a chance to get used to it. For me... it's as if I've leapt forward a year into the future."
Virgil looked at him. "Hang on a moment." He left the room for a few minutes. When he came back he carried an envelope. He sat down in one of the chairs, opened the envelope and rifled through the contents. "Ah, just what I want." He pulled out a piece of paper and handed it over to Scott. "That's an old photo of you."
Scott took the photo and looked at it. It was a head and shoulder shot of him and Gordon. They were both laughing at something. "I don't remember this one. When was it taken?"
"Two days before your operation."
"When I was blind?"
Virgil nodded. "Any difference?"
Scott studied the photo more closely. "No... not that I can see... But then you can never tell with a photo can you."
Virgil handed over the envelope. "There's more in there. See what you think."
Tentatively Scott took the envelope. He stared at it for a moment, then his curiosity got the better of him. He placed the painting on the dining table, removed the envelope's contents and started going through the photos.
Virgil watched his face as a grin grew in size. "Who took these?"
"Grandma. Who else?"
"I should have guessed." Scott glanced at Virgil as he removed the top photo and placed it at the back of the pack. He looked back down and his grin disappeared. "You sneak!"
"So. Have you changed?"
Scott placed his hand over the paper-sized mirror and frowned at his younger brother. "What'd you do that for?"
"So that you could see that you've got nothing to fear."
"I'm not frightened... I just don't want to look..." Scott said lamely.
"Okay then," Virgil held out his hand, "give me back the mirror."
He wondered for a moment if his bluff was going to be called, before Scott looked back down at his hand hiding the glass. He shifted his grip so that the mirror was reflecting the ceiling. "There's nothing to be frightened of, is there?" he said quietly.
"Nothing!" Virgil stated firmly.
Slowly Scott rotated the mirror so that it was pointing at his face. Slowly the smile returned. "Hey! Not bad. Hello handsome!" He shifted the angle of the mirror so he could get a better look. "I guess I've still got it."
"What? That ego the size of North America?"
"No. I have very kind, supportive, thoughtful, younger brother. Thank you."
Virgil smiled. "You're welcome."
Scott had another look at the photos before he placed them back into the envelope and picked up the painting again. "So! Are you coming into the lounge now?"
***
In the kitchen Scott found the chocolate cake and took it to the dining table. He was in the process of getting a couple of plates when he heard a sigh behind him.
Virgil was staring into the cutlery drawer.
Scott walked over so that he was able to lean against the counter beside the drawer. That way Virgil's Comm-specs could pick up his speech. "What's wrong?"
"Oh nothing." Virgil took a couple of forks out of the drawer and shut it. "It's just every now and then I remember something that I can't hear. I had a sudden wish to be able to hear the cutlery clanking together. I've never thought anything of it before and then all of a sudden I miss it!"
"I know what you mean." Scott admitted. "Years ago John had swiped Gordon's spear gun and was hiding from him in my bedroom. He managed to rip the wallpaper with the gun. It really irritated me, that rip. I'd wake up in the morning, resolve to fix it before the end of the day, leave my room, forget about it, come back in the evening, and there was that rip still in the wallpaper. Still irritating me! And then I lost my sight. And one of the things I initially missed seeing was that annoying rip in my wallpaper. It's also one of the first things I forgot. I remembered how the important things looked, like you guys, but I forgot the unimportant ones, like that rip. Now I can't decide whether to repair it or frame it!" He took the plates to the table.
Virgil followed him over and took a seat. "So it does get easier does it?"
"Easier? I don't know. You grow to accept it, and, like I said, forget the unimportant things." He cut two generous wedges of cake and placed them on the plates.
"It's not as bad for me as what you went through though is it."
"I don't know. I don't know what you are going through. You haven't said much. I'd imagine it's totally different."
"I would think so. Initially you were helpless. I'm not."
"But you've lost one of your senses. That's got to be a shock. How are you managing to keep so calm over this."
"I think it would be a bit hypocritical for me to go to pieces after I told you to get your act together."
"But that was after I'd learnt to cope, when I'd regained some control." Scott touched Virgil on the arm to ensure that he had his full attention. "It's okay to be scared, or angry. It's only natural. Remember I've been there, done that, didn't think much of the view."
"So what are you expecting me to do?"
"Yell, scream..."
"...Break the furniture."
"I don't think you'd be popular, but everyone would understand. Or there's plenty of places on the island where you could go and yell your head off and no one would need hear you."
"Including me."
There was no answer to that statement.
"What would it achieve, Scott?"
"You might feel better."
"Honestly, I don't know that it would!"
"There must be something you feel like doing."
"No."
Scott looked at his brother. "You're a worry."
"A what? Don't talk with your mouth full. The Comm-specs can't understand you. I read it as 'florry'."
Scott swallowed the mouthful of cake. "Sorry. A worry."
"Well, that's better than a florry."
"Whatever that is." Scott grinned.
"Can I ask you a hypothetical question?" Virgil looked earnestly at his brother.
"Shoot."
"If you were out on a rescue, and you had the chance to rescue one person, but in doing so you knew there was every possibility that you'd be permanently blinded again. Would you do it?"
"Possibly, probably or definitely blinded?"
"Um... probably." Virgil decided.
Scott thought about the question. "Speaking hypothetically. Yes. I think I would. I know I can cope being blind. But having said that I'd take every precaution to avoid it happening again." He waited to see if Virgil was going to comment on his answer. When it became clear he wasn't, he returned his attention to his cake.
"Do you know what I really miss hearing?" Virgil asked suddenly.
Scott looked at him. "Is this a trick question?"
"Laughter."
"Laughter?"
Virgil gave a small smile. "Yes laughter. I suddenly realised how much laughter there is in this family."
"Such as?"
"Gordon laughing to himself, and you just know that next time you put your boots on there's going to be something disgusting in there that he's swiped from the lab... Alan and Tin-Tin giggling together when they think there's no one else about... John, when he's just come home after his tour of duty in Thunderbird Five, and is trying to get used to being around people again. You..."
"Me?"
"That snort you do when something's happened that you think you should be all 'big brother serious and reproachful' over, but you really think is quite funny. And then you try to disguise it as a sneeze. That's the kind of thing I miss."
"I do that?"
"You do that!"
"Oh." Scott mused. "Laughter."
"You thought I was going to say music, didn't you."
"I did actually."
Virgil cut into his cake. "I do. I miss it terribly. I go into my bedroom and go to turn on the stereo and it's not there. And that hurts. But I miss hearing you guys more."
"I know what you mean..." Then Scott gave a chuckle. "Way back when I'd just come home from rehabilitation, I asked Father if he knew what I'd wish for if I was going to be allowed to see just one thing. I'm pretty sure he was expecting me to say Thunderbird One."
"And you weren't?" Virgil asked in surprise.
"No I wasn't."
"Well what did you wish for?"
Scott looked at his brother. "I wished to see you. To show you that I didn't mean what I'd said." He looked Virgil full in the face. "I got my wish."
"Just shows you should be careful what you wish for then, doesn't it." Virgil grinned embarrassedly.
"I'm glad I got my wish... It's a bit hard getting used to seeing you behind those glasses though."
Virgil removed the Comm-specs and looked at them. "There're not exactly a fashion statement are they. Still, they work." He rubbed his eyes. "My eyes get a bit tired after reading all day though."
Can I try them? Scott took the Comm-specs and put them on his own face.
Virgil burst out laughing. "Is that what I look like?"
How do they work? Scott started to say and then stopped when he saw his words appear before his eyes. That's so weird. Doesn't it drive you crazy seeing everything you say?
"No. I'll bet you're not reading anything now. It's the way Brains has programmed them."
"Clever." Scott handed them back. A devilish look crept into his eye "So if I were to say 'the quick brown fox h..."
Virgil laughed again. "I wonder what Penny would have said if we'd explained it to her."
"She'd have probably laughed too. It's Parker would have been horrified that we'd even think of saying such a thing to 'M'lady'."
"He'd think we were a pair of uncouth Yanks."
"Ever met a 'couth' one?"
"No. I don't think there is such a thing." Virgil took off the Comm-specs again to examine them. "I wonder how these would cope with Parker's speech. All those dropped aspirates must be murder to read. I'd have to get Brains to do something about it. He reckoned he could remove his stutter."
"We're lucky we've got Brains..."
"You mean with a capital B don't you." Virgil chuckled. "I've found a glitch in the Comm-specs, they spell Brains with a lower case B. Different meaning altogether."
"Yeah." Scott grinned. "I'm not too sure if we've got the lower case B one. No, what I was saying was that the upper case one has really helped us both over the past year or so."
"And without him International Rescue would never have got off the ground. Literally."
"Yes." Scott had a mouthful of cake and took another look at the painting, which he'd placed on the table. "I can't believe that you'd be willing to give such a masterpiece to me, after what I did."
"I know you didn't mean it. The problem was that I'd only just convinced myself that no one else would think that the accident was my fault, including Ma, when you said that very thing."
"I'm sorry..."
"And then I started thinking, if Scott thinks that, maybe Ma did too. That's what really hurt."
"She wouldn't. I'm positive she wouldn't." Scott reiterated.
"I told myself that you didn't mean it. That you were just angry... But every now and then over this past year you'd say something, or do something that made me wonder..."
"I did!" Scott said, alarmed.
"Under normal circumstances I would have thought it was just normal banter, but it set me wondering..."
"Such as?"
"You hitting me!"
"But you forgave me for that!"
"I did. It was afterwards that I started wondering if maybe it was more than just frustration that caused you to lash out."
"Is that all?"
"No. I know this is going to sound soppy, but do you realise that tonight was the first time that you've given me a hug in years?"
"A hug? I gave you one before my operation."
"No. I gave it to you."
"There's a difference?"
"Yes."
"But you know I'm not into that physical affection stuff. None of us are."
"I know. But when you came home after being in rehab everyone else got one. Even Brains and Kyrano. You put me into a headlock. Normal behaviour. Just what you'd usually do. But for a moment I wondered was it because you were behaving as normal, after all it'd only been a couple of weeks since we'd last seen each other and we'd travelled home together.... Or was it because you really didn't want to get that close to me."
"Normal behaviour."
"I know. But for a moment I wondered."
Scott looked at him, a pained look on his face. "I hate the idea that I hurt you so much... so much that you couldn't believe in me. Under normal circumstances that's the last thing I would want to do. Unfortunately that day in rehab circumstances weren't normal... You disappeared for a few hours afterwards. Where'd you go?"
"I went down to the beach. You know the one that's two miles away from the facility. I don't even remember walking there."
"I'm sorry." Scott repeated.
"I know. And I forgive you."
"If you knew how I've long I've wanted to hear you say that. I thought you were still hurting, every now and then I'd sense that something was wrong, but I couldn't believe that you wouldn't say something. No one else appeared to notice anything wrong, so I thought maybe it was my imagination, that I was still feeling guilty. Until the day before my operation when Kyrano asked if we were okay... I guess it's true what they say about there being none so blind as those who won't see. That described me perfectly. That's why I wanted to talk to you. I wasn't worried about the machine. I was worried about us. You gave me a hang of a fright when you blew up at me."
"I know. I'm sorry. And I'm sorry for the way I've been behaving the last few weeks.
"You've been avoiding me."
"Yes I have. I was that embarrassed over what I said to you that night, I didn't think I could face you. "
"You were embarrassed!" Scott was amazed. "I thought you still hadn't forgiven me. "
"You did!? No, my talk with Father sorted me out on that score. I thought maybe you wouldn't like me anymore. "
"Not like you! Is your self esteem that low that you'd think that I could ever not like you?"
"But I've always looked up to you. And then I go and tell you that I hate you. I know how much those words hurt me... and I didn't like the idea that I'd done the same to you."
"Virgil...!" Scott sighed. "Why didn't we talk earlier? "
"I tried. A couple of times I tried. But something always happened. Tin-Tin would fall into the ocean or I'd manage to get myself blown up." Virgil gave a wry grin.
"I tried to talk to you too. I even got Father to help. He got everyone out of our hair so that we wouldn't be interrupted, and I locked the door behind you so you'd have to stay and listen."
"And I wanted to apologise then, for the way I was behaving. I was sitting there thinking 'come on Virgil, say it', you'd stop talking and I'd go to open my mouth, and you'd start off again!"
"And then the alarm went off."
"And then the alarm went off."
They were silent for a moment.
"You know the last thing you said to me after you'd 'kidnapped' me... You didn't mean that did you." Virgil said hesitantly, toying with his slice of cake.
"That you hadn't... that I hadn't said all I wanted to say?"
"No, before the alarm went off."
"Um... what did I say?" Scott frowned as he tried to remember.
"Don't worry about it. It doesn't matter." Virgil said hastily.
"No... what did I say." Scott was still frowning.
"That... when you look at me you don't see Ma..." Virgil began reluctantly.
"Oh that!" Scott's face cleared. "It's true. I don't see Ma. I see you. I see my hero."
"You were only saying that weren't you?"
"No I wasn't! That's the truth! I don't tell lies."
"Do you want to amend that comment?" Virgil asked wryly as he helped himself to some more cake.
"Uh, yeah, I guess I'd better. I don't tell lies unless under extreme provocation when everything is out of my control."
"But why me. I thought maybe Father, or someone in the Air Force, or someone else. Anyone but me. I'm not heroic!"
"You're a member of International Rescue! Of course you're heroic! Why are you MY hero? Because of the way you don't give up. Because of the numerous times we've been out on a rescue and things have seemed hopeless and you've still been willing to risk your neck and get stuck in. Because of the way whenever things have been hard for me you've been there to support me. Everyone else seems to lean on me, and there's been times I've needed to be able to lean on someone else. Because of the way you helped me through Regnad and later in rehab. Because, no matter what I've done to you, you've still been there for me. Because you've got talents that I'd kill to possess."
"Talents?"
"I'm jealous of your skill with your painting and drawing, and... forgive me for saying this... playing the piano. I'm proud to call you my brother!"
"Oh." Virgil said quietly. "Thank you."
Scott felt the need to fill in the silence that followed and helped himself to the last of the cake.
"I guess I don't need to give up totally on International Rescue do I." Virgil said quietly.
"No of course not."
"But I can't help with rescues anymore."
"Not necessarily!"
"Face it, Scott. If I can't hear I'm useless! Take yesterday... When I think how easily I could have walked right past you and not even realised you were in trouble. You could have died and I wouldn't have known."
"But I didn't die. You saved my life!"
"No, I'll have to accept that can't take part in rescues anymore. But I can help Brains and Tin-Tin with research and development. Or I can take charge of the maintenance. That way when you guys come home from a rescue, you can relax and get in your debriefing, and I can check over your craft and prepare them for the next call out."
"That's a good idea!"
"And perhaps... sometimes... if it's a simple transportation job... I could still fly Thunderbird Two?"
"It's a thought."
"Or, outside of International Rescue, I could be personal pilot to Mr Jeff Tracy."
"You'd spend more time in the passenger seat. You know he likes to fly himself."
"Yes. I guess that's not an option."
"I don't know. Talk it over with him. There might be times when he'd like to be able to concentrate on work, or he might appreciate the company."
"I'm going to miss being out there on rescues with you guys."
"And we'll miss you." Scott sat back. "You've been really thinking about your future haven't you?"
"Yes."
"That's what you need to do. Think about what you can do, we'll help with what you can't and don't sweat the small stuff."
"Then I shouldn't worry about losing my music..."
"I didn't say that..."
Virgil dropped his fork on the plate. "Why do I feel as though someone's died?"
"Come on, Virgil. There's not a person in this place who doesn't know how important your music is to you. I remember being dragged along kicking and screaming to piano lessons. You went willingly. Were all making excuses why we shouldn't go and you're sitting in the car yelling at us to hurry up so you wouldn't be late. I'm surprised we didn't send Father totally crackers... not to mention what the neighbours must have thought with all that yelling."
Virgil groaned. "What was that epitaph about us eating too much cake? I think it's about to come true." He looked at the platter that now held nothing but crumbs. "Grandma's going to be annoyed with us tomorrow."
"We'll clean up and she won't even know it was us who did it. We can blame Alan and Gordon." Scott started clearing the table.
"That wouldn't be fair though, would it?" Virgil rose to help.
"Is it fair that they keep on calling us old?"
"No... I wouldn't mind, but I'm not that much older than those guys! How come they treat me as if I'm..." a grin formed on Virgil's face, "...as old as you?"
"Hey watch it! Or you might find yourself being labelled as the sole culprit..." Scott's grin matched Virgil's. "...Or a florry."
"Better than a worry."
They finished the washing up and guiltily replaced the dishes.
Scott picked up his picture. "What say we go and find somewhere to hang this now."
"No. It's too late. We'll wake everyone with the drill."
"We don't have to hang it now. I just want your advice as to where's the best place to put it."
"I'm sure wherever you come up with will be fine." Virgil protested.
"Come on, Virgil! It's time you started thinking about joining us in the lounge again. You can't avoid it forever."
"What do you mean?"
"Now don't go all defensive on me. It's been pretty obvious to everyone that you've been steering clear of the lounge... and what's in there."
Virgil went quiet.
"If I tell you something silly about me and my blindness, will you consider going into there now?" Scott asked quietly.
"How silly?"
"Really silly."
Virgil managed a slight grin. "You've got me curious now."
"Is it a deal?"
Virgil hesitated. "Yeah, okay," he said reluctantly.
"Okay then." Scott took a deep breath.
Virgil waited.
"I haven't looked in a mirror since I got my sight back."
Virgil stared at him. "You what?!"
"I haven't looked in a mirror."
"It's been two months! Why? How?"
"I've been blind for a year. I've seen how you've all changed in that time, maybe not a lot, but you all have. You're all that little older. It's been a hard year and I can see it in your faces..."
"And?"
"And... I don't know if I want to see it in mine."
"But how have you managed to avoid using a mirror?"
"I haven't needed one." Scott gave a slight chuckle. "Obviously I can cope without using one. Shaving's not a problem, and neither's doing my hair or anything else that you would usually use a mirror for. When I get up in the morning it's still dark, so I don't turn the light on. My bedroom mirror was plastered with Braille messages, and I haven't removed them. I look away when I go past any other mirrors."
Virgil stood for a moment in shock. "Scott." He said seriously. "That has got to be one of the most amazing things I've heard." He shook his head. "Also one of the most ridiculous. You haven't changed that much."
"Yes but any change has been gradual for you, you've had a chance to get used to it. For me... it's as if I've leapt forward a year into the future."
Virgil looked at him. "Hang on a moment." He left the room for a few minutes. When he came back he carried an envelope. He sat down in one of the chairs, opened the envelope and rifled through the contents. "Ah, just what I want." He pulled out a piece of paper and handed it over to Scott. "That's an old photo of you."
Scott took the photo and looked at it. It was a head and shoulder shot of him and Gordon. They were both laughing at something. "I don't remember this one. When was it taken?"
"Two days before your operation."
"When I was blind?"
Virgil nodded. "Any difference?"
Scott studied the photo more closely. "No... not that I can see... But then you can never tell with a photo can you."
Virgil handed over the envelope. "There's more in there. See what you think."
Tentatively Scott took the envelope. He stared at it for a moment, then his curiosity got the better of him. He placed the painting on the dining table, removed the envelope's contents and started going through the photos.
Virgil watched his face as a grin grew in size. "Who took these?"
"Grandma. Who else?"
"I should have guessed." Scott glanced at Virgil as he removed the top photo and placed it at the back of the pack. He looked back down and his grin disappeared. "You sneak!"
"So. Have you changed?"
Scott placed his hand over the paper-sized mirror and frowned at his younger brother. "What'd you do that for?"
"So that you could see that you've got nothing to fear."
"I'm not frightened... I just don't want to look..." Scott said lamely.
"Okay then," Virgil held out his hand, "give me back the mirror."
He wondered for a moment if his bluff was going to be called, before Scott looked back down at his hand hiding the glass. He shifted his grip so that the mirror was reflecting the ceiling. "There's nothing to be frightened of, is there?" he said quietly.
"Nothing!" Virgil stated firmly.
Slowly Scott rotated the mirror so that it was pointing at his face. Slowly the smile returned. "Hey! Not bad. Hello handsome!" He shifted the angle of the mirror so he could get a better look. "I guess I've still got it."
"What? That ego the size of North America?"
"No. I have very kind, supportive, thoughtful, younger brother. Thank you."
Virgil smiled. "You're welcome."
Scott had another look at the photos before he placed them back into the envelope and picked up the painting again. "So! Are you coming into the lounge now?"
***