Ninety Nine - BF
Scott flicked the switch that turned on the lights in the lounge. He walked in confidently and placed the portrait on his father's desk. "Right! Where do you think...?" He turned round. Virgil was nowhere to be seen. "Where is he?" He strode back to the doorway.
Virgil was standing just inside the room. "I'm here. Are you happy? Can we go to bed now?"
"No! Come on. There's nothing in here that's going to bite you." He returned back to where he started.
Reluctantly Virgil took two steps forward and stopped. Scott was by now back at the desk. He turned and strode back towards his brother. "Come on" he said firmly. "You can't go through life without coming in here."
"I've managed okay these last few weeks."
Scott didn't give him any further say in the matter. He dragged him to the centre of the room. "There! See! You're all right! Now where are we going to hang this painting?" He kept a firm grip on Virgil's arm.
He'd positioned Virgil so that he was facing the piano. A plain white dust cloth had been placed over it, but despite that its outline was clearly visible. He felt his brother stiffen at the sight of the instrument and felt sorry for him, but reasoned that Virgil needed to face up the realities of life in the Tracy household. If for no other reason than to release the emotions that he was trapping inside himself.
He released his grip when Virgil took a step forward.
Slowly Virgil walked towards the piano. Hesitantly he reached out towards it before finally placing a hand on the cloth. The hand clenched into a fist and he drew the cloth off gradually until the white, wooden surface was exposed. He hugged the cloth close as he stared at the instrument, before once again placing his right hand on it. His fingers traced the piano's outline until he reached the keyboard.
He sat on the piano stool.
Scott walked over so that he was able to lean on the piano, within range of Virgil's Comm-specs. "Are you okay?"
Virgil nodded numbly. He dropped the dust cloth onto the floor beside the stool and placed both hands on the keyboard lid. He held them there for a moment before he swung the lid back.
The black and white keys stared at him. Mocking him in their silence.
"You don't have to do any more." Scott stated.
Virgil removed the Comm-specs and dropped them on top of the dust cloth, effectively breaking off communication with his brother. He wanted to proceed at his own pace.
With heavy heart Scott watched him as several times he reached for a key, drawing back each time before he made contact.
Virgil steeled himself and pressed middle C with his right forefinger. Then he looked at Scott. "Did it make a sound?"
"Yes." Scott nodded.
Virgil placed his left hand on the top of the piano and pressed middle C again with his right. This time he felt the vibrations run through the instrument.
He withdrew his hands.
"Do you remember when Father bought this?" he suddenly asked.
Yes I do. You were over the moon, and the rest of us were totally unimpressed. I wondered why he'd want to waste money on a new piano, when the old upright was perfectly adequate. Then I heard you play it for the first time and realised that, while I'd always known you were good, I was now getting an idea of how good you really were.
"Do you remember what I played?"
Not really. Scott said apologetically.
"This." Virgil placed his hands on the keyboard and began to play.
He played the piece right through from beginning to end, his eyes closed as he imagined the sounds that flowed from his fingers.
To Scott, it was a poignant moment as he watched his brother play the lilting melody. He wished he had a magic wand. Something, so that he could enable Virgil to enjoy the music just as he was.
As the final notes dissipated Virgil placed his hands back in his lap. He looked at Scott. "How did it sound?"
Great. Most people would be happy to be able to play like that.
"But would I be happy?"
Scott had to be truthful. No.
Virgil slammed the keyboard lid down with an air of finality and lent on it, his chin resting on his clenched hands, staring at the white finish.
Scott wondered what he should do.
He watched in horror as Virgil started to cry.
The last time that Scott Tracy had seen any of his brothers cry, they'd all been children. They'd grown up to be strong, and in some respects hardened against the cruelties of life. You had to be hard in the rescue game or else you'd soon find yourself a cot case. Being hard didn't mean you were immune to the sorrow and fury of failures and missed opportunities, but it helped you to cope... Usually.
Each member of the household had their own mechanism when they needed to vent their emotions.
Scott realised that Virgil had lost his principal outlet.
Virgil pushed himself back on the stool, away from the piano. "This is why I didn't want to come in here," he said angrily as he vainly tried to wipe away the tears that continued to flow.
That's why I dragged you in here now, when there's no one else about, Scott said helplessly, so you'd get it out of your system. But I didn't think that you'd...
Virgil leant forward, so his forearms were resting on the closed keyboard and his forehead was on his arms. His sobs became louder.
Scott moved towards him tentatively. "I'm sorry." He touched his brother on the back.
"Leave me alone!" Virgil sat up and pushed Scott away.
"Don't push me away... Let me help." Scott pleaded. He placed his arm about Virgil's shoulders. "Please let me help you!"
This time Virgil allowed Scott to draw him into a comforting embrace. Although uncomfortable with the physical contact, Scott held him close.
"I'm scared." Virgil managed to say.
"I know. It's okay. It's okay to be scared..."
"I'm really scared!"
"I know."
"Is everything all right, Scott?" He heard a deep voice come from the shadows behind them.
"Everything's fine, Father. Go back to bed." Scott replied, trying not to change his tone or manner.
There was silence from the shadows.
Finally Virgil felt that he'd got it together enough to push Scott away again. "I'm sorry." He wiped his eyes.
That phrase is getting a real work out tonight. Scott smiled. It's not necessary this time. You said yourself it felt as if someone had died. You're grieving.
"Where's my Comm-specs?" Virgil asked looking about.
Scott retrieved them from the top of the dust cloth.
Virgil wiped his eyes with his handkerchief before he put them on. "Don't want them going rusty," he joked weakly.
Scott smiled again and waited till the glasses were operational. "Do you feel better now?"
"No." Virgil said truthfully. He looked downwards. "I'm scared, Scott."
"I know. It's okay to be scared."
"Send me into a collapsing building. Not a problem. Shoot Thunderbird Two out from under me. No worries." Scott gave a little grin. "But this!" Virgil continued on... "This... I feel as if I'm being attacked from inside my head. As if there's someone inside my brain chipping away at my sanity. I don't know that I can cope..." He whispered something that Scott couldn't hear.
"What was that Virg.?"
"I think I'm going crazy, Scott." Virgil repeated softly.
"Will we ever notice the difference?" Scott joked, trying to lighten the mood.
Virgil's expression didn't change.
"Are you serious?"
Virgil nodded.
"Why!"
"Lots of reasons."
"Such as?"
"Look at me! I'm falling to pieces! I've suddenly turned into a big baby? I haven't cried like this since... since... the avalanche, and here I am bawling my eyes out twice in as many months."
"I know. But you've had your reasons. That doesn't make you crazy."
"And..." Then Virgil looked at his brother. "How do you know?"
"That night... I... I wanted to talk to you... so I went to your room... but I could hear you... so I came back out here." Scott said hesitantly.
"Oh." Virgil said quietly. Then he stood abruptly and walked over to the window so he was looking out over the beach and the black ocean. He turned back so he was leaning against the glass, facing Scott. "What's happening to me?"
"You're not crazy. You're only human. At least you're brave enough to let someone else see you cry. Not like me..."
"You!? I don't remember ever seeing you break down. Well not like this. You got angry."
"And took it out on everyone else. That's because I pushed everyone away. I didn't let anyone see me cry."
"When did you...?" Virgil was confused by this admission.
"That first month in rehab. There wasn't a night when I didn't have a soggy pillow. I was lucky it didn't go mouldy on me..."
"I didn't realise."
"No. I couldn't risk anyone thinking I wasn't big, and tough, and in control. That I was scared, and confused, and wanted to go home to where everything was safe and familiar. I wanted to be protected by my family. I was away from you guys... I felt isolated..."
"I feel that now, and you're all here."
"I know. We don't make it easy for you do we."
Virgil turned back to the window and looked out at the stars.
Scott went and stood beside him so that they could talk. "Believe me. You are not going crazy."
Virgil opened his mouth as if to speak, but closed it again.
"You've got other reasons for thinking that haven't you." Scott pressed him.
Virgil nodded and took a breath. "Brains and the Professor can't find a reason for my hearing loss."
"I know. It's got us all beat."
"They think it might be something psychological."
Scott stared at his brother. Then a smile slowly formed on his lips. "But that's great! There could be a cure after all..."
"NO!" Virgil exclaimed. "Don't you understand? We can't do anything!"
"But why?"
"I'd have to tell someone about International Rescue."
"I'm sure Father wouldn't mind. Not in this instance..."
"And it could destroy all our hard work!"
"Not necessarily! Maybe one of our agents is a psychologist?"
"Who'd have to keep records. Okay, we find someone who is loyal to International Rescue and our ideals. But what if someone finds out they're helping me, someone out to get International Rescue's secrets..."
"Now you're being silly. How could anyone find out?"
"A burglary, a computer hacker, a fire and some innocent person helps to save the records and just happens to mention what they inadvertently glanced at to someone not so innocent. It's a weak link, Scott. I'm the weak link."
"And if that happens we'll just shut down International Rescue."
"And how many lives could be lost because we're not there to save them. And it's not only that, is it? Someone finds out that we're International Rescue. We may be isolated on this island, but we're not completely out of reach of the outside world. A plane, a fast boat, and we could have trouble..."
"We can take them."
"Here we can. But do you want to be locked away here for the rest of your life? And it's not us they'd be after would it. They'd want Brains, since he designed the technology. They'd want Father who had the money..."
"They wouldn't help them." Scott stated confidently.
"So they'd look for leverage. Some way to force them into doing what they don't want to. They'd work on us five..."
"And wouldn't get anywhere!"
"I agree. But would you want Tin-Tin and Kyrano to go through that? And what about Grandma?! If anything happened to her it would be my fault!"
"You've really thought about this haven't you?" Scott said quietly.
"You're not to tell Father, Scott! He goes through enough guilt every time one of us gets injured. This'd kill him. And destroy International Rescue. You said yourself that you'd risk being blinded again if it meant saving a life. That's just what I'm doing now!"
"Oh, Virgil..." Scott hoped his father had taken his advice and gone to bed. He didn't want him to have heard this exchange. "I'm sorry."
Virgil gave a grim smile. "Who's wearing out that phrase now? Look forget all this. Maybe I'll get lucky." He looked desolate.
On impulse Scott pulled him into a hug before releasing him. "I promise I won't say anything. But I will talk to Brains. The poor guy's been on edge for days and now I know why. But I want you to promise to talk to me if you ever need to, okay? Don't hide away or bottle it up. Talk to me!"
"You know how hard that can be." Virgil said ironically. "How long have we been trying to talk to each other? It's been months!"
"Yes." Scott sighed. "We could have some secret phrase that only us two will know. So then we can make time together."
"Something that would sound innocent to everyone else."
"I know!" Scott snapped his fingers. "You could say that you feel like having some chocolate cake!"
"And if I really do?"
"Tell Grandma."
Virgil smiled. "Don't you ever be afraid to ask me for 'chocolate cake' either. I think we've both needed tonight's talk."
Scott agreed. Then he yawned. "What's the time?" He looked at his watch. "Three twenty! No wonder I'm tired. It's been a big day."
They wandered back down the hallway. Scott eyed the shadows and listened for any sound from his father. He heard nothing.
When they got to Virgil's bedroom door, he stopped Scott from entering by signing without speaking. I'm not that big a baby that I need you to tuck me in. he grinned sheepishly.
Mindful of the others in the household, Scott signed silently too. I haven't thought of you as a baby since you were five... he smiled.
Five?
Up till then you were definitely an annoying little baby, always pestering your big brother. Until you got stuck in, helping to dig the snow away... his face pained at the memory. That was when you grew up in my eyes. That's when I began to see you as an equal. He looked at his painting for a moment. Do you know what I've had to live with since Ma died? That she only knew me as a bratty kid who was always in trouble.
I don't think so. Virgil replied. I think she knew your true nature. And... this is going to sound silly, but I think she's keeping an eye on us. I think she's proud of you.
No. Scott said thoughtfully. I don't think that's silly. I think you're right. Except she's proud of all of us.
Thank you for talking, and listening. Virgil opened his door. I'll talk to you in the morning. Good night.
Night.
Scott flicked the switch that turned on the lights in the lounge. He walked in confidently and placed the portrait on his father's desk. "Right! Where do you think...?" He turned round. Virgil was nowhere to be seen. "Where is he?" He strode back to the doorway.
Virgil was standing just inside the room. "I'm here. Are you happy? Can we go to bed now?"
"No! Come on. There's nothing in here that's going to bite you." He returned back to where he started.
Reluctantly Virgil took two steps forward and stopped. Scott was by now back at the desk. He turned and strode back towards his brother. "Come on" he said firmly. "You can't go through life without coming in here."
"I've managed okay these last few weeks."
Scott didn't give him any further say in the matter. He dragged him to the centre of the room. "There! See! You're all right! Now where are we going to hang this painting?" He kept a firm grip on Virgil's arm.
He'd positioned Virgil so that he was facing the piano. A plain white dust cloth had been placed over it, but despite that its outline was clearly visible. He felt his brother stiffen at the sight of the instrument and felt sorry for him, but reasoned that Virgil needed to face up the realities of life in the Tracy household. If for no other reason than to release the emotions that he was trapping inside himself.
He released his grip when Virgil took a step forward.
Slowly Virgil walked towards the piano. Hesitantly he reached out towards it before finally placing a hand on the cloth. The hand clenched into a fist and he drew the cloth off gradually until the white, wooden surface was exposed. He hugged the cloth close as he stared at the instrument, before once again placing his right hand on it. His fingers traced the piano's outline until he reached the keyboard.
He sat on the piano stool.
Scott walked over so that he was able to lean on the piano, within range of Virgil's Comm-specs. "Are you okay?"
Virgil nodded numbly. He dropped the dust cloth onto the floor beside the stool and placed both hands on the keyboard lid. He held them there for a moment before he swung the lid back.
The black and white keys stared at him. Mocking him in their silence.
"You don't have to do any more." Scott stated.
Virgil removed the Comm-specs and dropped them on top of the dust cloth, effectively breaking off communication with his brother. He wanted to proceed at his own pace.
With heavy heart Scott watched him as several times he reached for a key, drawing back each time before he made contact.
Virgil steeled himself and pressed middle C with his right forefinger. Then he looked at Scott. "Did it make a sound?"
"Yes." Scott nodded.
Virgil placed his left hand on the top of the piano and pressed middle C again with his right. This time he felt the vibrations run through the instrument.
He withdrew his hands.
"Do you remember when Father bought this?" he suddenly asked.
Yes I do. You were over the moon, and the rest of us were totally unimpressed. I wondered why he'd want to waste money on a new piano, when the old upright was perfectly adequate. Then I heard you play it for the first time and realised that, while I'd always known you were good, I was now getting an idea of how good you really were.
"Do you remember what I played?"
Not really. Scott said apologetically.
"This." Virgil placed his hands on the keyboard and began to play.
He played the piece right through from beginning to end, his eyes closed as he imagined the sounds that flowed from his fingers.
To Scott, it was a poignant moment as he watched his brother play the lilting melody. He wished he had a magic wand. Something, so that he could enable Virgil to enjoy the music just as he was.
As the final notes dissipated Virgil placed his hands back in his lap. He looked at Scott. "How did it sound?"
Great. Most people would be happy to be able to play like that.
"But would I be happy?"
Scott had to be truthful. No.
Virgil slammed the keyboard lid down with an air of finality and lent on it, his chin resting on his clenched hands, staring at the white finish.
Scott wondered what he should do.
He watched in horror as Virgil started to cry.
The last time that Scott Tracy had seen any of his brothers cry, they'd all been children. They'd grown up to be strong, and in some respects hardened against the cruelties of life. You had to be hard in the rescue game or else you'd soon find yourself a cot case. Being hard didn't mean you were immune to the sorrow and fury of failures and missed opportunities, but it helped you to cope... Usually.
Each member of the household had their own mechanism when they needed to vent their emotions.
Scott realised that Virgil had lost his principal outlet.
Virgil pushed himself back on the stool, away from the piano. "This is why I didn't want to come in here," he said angrily as he vainly tried to wipe away the tears that continued to flow.
That's why I dragged you in here now, when there's no one else about, Scott said helplessly, so you'd get it out of your system. But I didn't think that you'd...
Virgil leant forward, so his forearms were resting on the closed keyboard and his forehead was on his arms. His sobs became louder.
Scott moved towards him tentatively. "I'm sorry." He touched his brother on the back.
"Leave me alone!" Virgil sat up and pushed Scott away.
"Don't push me away... Let me help." Scott pleaded. He placed his arm about Virgil's shoulders. "Please let me help you!"
This time Virgil allowed Scott to draw him into a comforting embrace. Although uncomfortable with the physical contact, Scott held him close.
"I'm scared." Virgil managed to say.
"I know. It's okay. It's okay to be scared..."
"I'm really scared!"
"I know."
"Is everything all right, Scott?" He heard a deep voice come from the shadows behind them.
"Everything's fine, Father. Go back to bed." Scott replied, trying not to change his tone or manner.
There was silence from the shadows.
Finally Virgil felt that he'd got it together enough to push Scott away again. "I'm sorry." He wiped his eyes.
That phrase is getting a real work out tonight. Scott smiled. It's not necessary this time. You said yourself it felt as if someone had died. You're grieving.
"Where's my Comm-specs?" Virgil asked looking about.
Scott retrieved them from the top of the dust cloth.
Virgil wiped his eyes with his handkerchief before he put them on. "Don't want them going rusty," he joked weakly.
Scott smiled again and waited till the glasses were operational. "Do you feel better now?"
"No." Virgil said truthfully. He looked downwards. "I'm scared, Scott."
"I know. It's okay to be scared."
"Send me into a collapsing building. Not a problem. Shoot Thunderbird Two out from under me. No worries." Scott gave a little grin. "But this!" Virgil continued on... "This... I feel as if I'm being attacked from inside my head. As if there's someone inside my brain chipping away at my sanity. I don't know that I can cope..." He whispered something that Scott couldn't hear.
"What was that Virg.?"
"I think I'm going crazy, Scott." Virgil repeated softly.
"Will we ever notice the difference?" Scott joked, trying to lighten the mood.
Virgil's expression didn't change.
"Are you serious?"
Virgil nodded.
"Why!"
"Lots of reasons."
"Such as?"
"Look at me! I'm falling to pieces! I've suddenly turned into a big baby? I haven't cried like this since... since... the avalanche, and here I am bawling my eyes out twice in as many months."
"I know. But you've had your reasons. That doesn't make you crazy."
"And..." Then Virgil looked at his brother. "How do you know?"
"That night... I... I wanted to talk to you... so I went to your room... but I could hear you... so I came back out here." Scott said hesitantly.
"Oh." Virgil said quietly. Then he stood abruptly and walked over to the window so he was looking out over the beach and the black ocean. He turned back so he was leaning against the glass, facing Scott. "What's happening to me?"
"You're not crazy. You're only human. At least you're brave enough to let someone else see you cry. Not like me..."
"You!? I don't remember ever seeing you break down. Well not like this. You got angry."
"And took it out on everyone else. That's because I pushed everyone away. I didn't let anyone see me cry."
"When did you...?" Virgil was confused by this admission.
"That first month in rehab. There wasn't a night when I didn't have a soggy pillow. I was lucky it didn't go mouldy on me..."
"I didn't realise."
"No. I couldn't risk anyone thinking I wasn't big, and tough, and in control. That I was scared, and confused, and wanted to go home to where everything was safe and familiar. I wanted to be protected by my family. I was away from you guys... I felt isolated..."
"I feel that now, and you're all here."
"I know. We don't make it easy for you do we."
Virgil turned back to the window and looked out at the stars.
Scott went and stood beside him so that they could talk. "Believe me. You are not going crazy."
Virgil opened his mouth as if to speak, but closed it again.
"You've got other reasons for thinking that haven't you." Scott pressed him.
Virgil nodded and took a breath. "Brains and the Professor can't find a reason for my hearing loss."
"I know. It's got us all beat."
"They think it might be something psychological."
Scott stared at his brother. Then a smile slowly formed on his lips. "But that's great! There could be a cure after all..."
"NO!" Virgil exclaimed. "Don't you understand? We can't do anything!"
"But why?"
"I'd have to tell someone about International Rescue."
"I'm sure Father wouldn't mind. Not in this instance..."
"And it could destroy all our hard work!"
"Not necessarily! Maybe one of our agents is a psychologist?"
"Who'd have to keep records. Okay, we find someone who is loyal to International Rescue and our ideals. But what if someone finds out they're helping me, someone out to get International Rescue's secrets..."
"Now you're being silly. How could anyone find out?"
"A burglary, a computer hacker, a fire and some innocent person helps to save the records and just happens to mention what they inadvertently glanced at to someone not so innocent. It's a weak link, Scott. I'm the weak link."
"And if that happens we'll just shut down International Rescue."
"And how many lives could be lost because we're not there to save them. And it's not only that, is it? Someone finds out that we're International Rescue. We may be isolated on this island, but we're not completely out of reach of the outside world. A plane, a fast boat, and we could have trouble..."
"We can take them."
"Here we can. But do you want to be locked away here for the rest of your life? And it's not us they'd be after would it. They'd want Brains, since he designed the technology. They'd want Father who had the money..."
"They wouldn't help them." Scott stated confidently.
"So they'd look for leverage. Some way to force them into doing what they don't want to. They'd work on us five..."
"And wouldn't get anywhere!"
"I agree. But would you want Tin-Tin and Kyrano to go through that? And what about Grandma?! If anything happened to her it would be my fault!"
"You've really thought about this haven't you?" Scott said quietly.
"You're not to tell Father, Scott! He goes through enough guilt every time one of us gets injured. This'd kill him. And destroy International Rescue. You said yourself that you'd risk being blinded again if it meant saving a life. That's just what I'm doing now!"
"Oh, Virgil..." Scott hoped his father had taken his advice and gone to bed. He didn't want him to have heard this exchange. "I'm sorry."
Virgil gave a grim smile. "Who's wearing out that phrase now? Look forget all this. Maybe I'll get lucky." He looked desolate.
On impulse Scott pulled him into a hug before releasing him. "I promise I won't say anything. But I will talk to Brains. The poor guy's been on edge for days and now I know why. But I want you to promise to talk to me if you ever need to, okay? Don't hide away or bottle it up. Talk to me!"
"You know how hard that can be." Virgil said ironically. "How long have we been trying to talk to each other? It's been months!"
"Yes." Scott sighed. "We could have some secret phrase that only us two will know. So then we can make time together."
"Something that would sound innocent to everyone else."
"I know!" Scott snapped his fingers. "You could say that you feel like having some chocolate cake!"
"And if I really do?"
"Tell Grandma."
Virgil smiled. "Don't you ever be afraid to ask me for 'chocolate cake' either. I think we've both needed tonight's talk."
Scott agreed. Then he yawned. "What's the time?" He looked at his watch. "Three twenty! No wonder I'm tired. It's been a big day."
They wandered back down the hallway. Scott eyed the shadows and listened for any sound from his father. He heard nothing.
When they got to Virgil's bedroom door, he stopped Scott from entering by signing without speaking. I'm not that big a baby that I need you to tuck me in. he grinned sheepishly.
Mindful of the others in the household, Scott signed silently too. I haven't thought of you as a baby since you were five... he smiled.
Five?
Up till then you were definitely an annoying little baby, always pestering your big brother. Until you got stuck in, helping to dig the snow away... his face pained at the memory. That was when you grew up in my eyes. That's when I began to see you as an equal. He looked at his painting for a moment. Do you know what I've had to live with since Ma died? That she only knew me as a bratty kid who was always in trouble.
I don't think so. Virgil replied. I think she knew your true nature. And... this is going to sound silly, but I think she's keeping an eye on us. I think she's proud of you.
No. Scott said thoughtfully. I don't think that's silly. I think you're right. Except she's proud of all of us.
Thank you for talking, and listening. Virgil opened his door. I'll talk to you in the morning. Good night.
Night.