Hey, everybody!   (Takes deep breath.)  Okay, here goes.  I think I'm really gonna try this.  I've been arguing viciously with myself over the last few days as to whether or not I was even going to post this.  I started writing it in a notebook as soon as I got home from watching Full Throttle for the first time.  (I think I was up 'till 3 in the morning.)  I was only going to write it for me, it was just all of the things buzzing around my head after watching what is now one of my favorite movies.  I've also been reading the other stories here like crazy over the last few weeks, and loving them immensely, I started to think it might be fun to put up my own thoughts and ideas as well.  The problem is, loving these stories as I do, I have become… I don't know, slightly intimidated, I guess you could say?  Hence the self-arguing.  And the doubts.  Will it be too boring?  Will people get where I am coming from?  Will they disagree with my interpretation of things and think I'm taking people 'out of character'?  And of course – Am I overanalyzing too much?!  Probably.  So here I am, trying this story out on you all.  I decided to go ahead and post a few chapters and see what people think.  Judging on what kind of reaction I get, I may or may not go on.  So please, tell me what you honestly think.

            To open, I decided to use a song that I felt kind of fit the premise of my story.  It's more or less here to set the mood, kind of like the opening credits to a movie.  …Yeah…  Anyway, the song is by the Smashing Pumpkins, one of my all-time favorite bands.  As you'll probably be able to tell from (possible) later chapters -- I may use them frequently.  (I hereby disclaim any ownership or creative rights from all said songs and from any scene from either Charlie's Angels movie.  I own nothing, and am making no money from any of this.  I am just one sad, broke, and lonely little girl.  Wait…) I'll explain some more about those things buzzing around my head in chapter 1.  But for now, sing along if it pleases you and try and guess from this song who the story is about.  (Guess correctly, get a prize?)

The Killer In Me

Disarm you with a smile

And cut you like you want me to

Cut that little child

Inside of me and such a part of you

(…the years burn…)

I used to be a little boy

So old in my shoes

And what I choose is my choice

What's a boy supposed to do?

The killer in me is the killer in you

My love…

I send this smile over to you

Disarm you with a smile

And leave you like they left me here

To wither in denial

The bitterness of one who's left alone

(…the years burn…)

I used to be a little boy

So old in my shoes

And what I choose is my voice

What's a boy supposed to do?

The killer in me is the killer in you

I send this smile over to you

My love…

~~~Disarm

by the Smashing Pumpkins