One Hundred and Five - BF
"What are you doing?" Scott asked as he wandered into Virgil's room.
"Just finishing this painting off. I'll be glad to be done with it."
"Then why don't you leave it?"
"I don't know. I have a feeling that I should finish it."
"Virgil?" Scott asked. "Why did you spell danger with a lowercase d and a capital R?"
"Where?" Virgil asked absently.
"In your painting."
"I haven't." Virgil frowned in confusion.
"Yes you have."
"It's my painting. I should know what I've put in it and I haven't written danger anywhere... in anything... for days... maybe even months."
"But it's in your painting!" Scott protested. "I can see it in the mirror."
"That's quite a narcissistic tendency you've developed there, Scott. Always looking in mirrors..."
"I wasn't looking at my reflection. I was looking at your painting. You wouldn't let me otherwise."
"That's because everyone considers themselves to be a critic and always think they can improve on what I'm doing before I've finished it."
"I don't do that!"
"Are you kidding?" Virgil laughed. "You're one of the worst. You're already doing it with this painting. Face it Scott, you're a control freak!"
"That still doesn't explain why you've painted the word danger with a lowercase d and a capital R."
"I haven't!" Virgil repeated in exasperation.
"Look!" Scott grabbed him by the arm and pulled him so he could also look in the mirror. "Tell me I'm wrong."
Virgil looked at the reflection of the painting and his face sagged in disbelief. Without a word he walked back over to his easel and pushed the button that would allow it to rotate so that Scott could see it.
Scott's face looked equally bemused as he examined the painting.
Two birds of prey, one with his eyes blindfolded, the other with its ears bandaged were flying into a pit in the ground. From the pit fire and smoke billowed, obliterating the background. An arrow pointed into the pit. On the arrow was printed a single word...
Regnad.
"I never realised." Virgil stared at the word. "I never even thought..."
"Regnad is danger backwards." Scott frowned. "If I'd known I would have steered well clear."
"No you wouldn't."
"You're right." Scott gave a wry smile. "I wouldn't. Neither of us would have."
Jeff Tracy came to the door. "I'm glad you're both here. I want a word with you in my room."
"Now?" Scott asked.
"Now."
Scott and Virgil looked at each other and shrugged. Virgil slipped off his smock and hung it on its hook. He took one last wondering look at the painting and followed his brother out of his room.
Jeff was looking out the window when they got there. There was a cardboard box on his bed.
Scott recognised it.
Virgil didn't. "What's up, Father?"
"How's your hearing, Virgil? Can you hear me okay?" Jeff sat in a chair so his bed was between the three of them.
"It's fine. The tinnitus has almost gone and Brains' last test showed my hearing's nearly back to what it was before the accident."
"Good. I don't want any misunderstandings. Close the door, will you? Then you both may as well sit down."
Mystified Virgil complied.
"I owe you boys some apologies. I'll start with you, Virgil. Well, I guess it's really to both of you. The night before you started getting your hearing back I decided that I wanted a midnight snack." He gave a self-conscious smile. "I'm quite partial to your grandmother's chocolate cake myself. When I heard the piano I stopped to listen. When I realised it was you playing I had to stay and find out what was going on."
"How much did you hear?" Scott asked.
"Let's just say that I won't tell your brothers what it means when you two want chocolate cake."
"Oh." Scott said quietly. "I'd hoped you'd gone to bed when I told you to."
"You knew he was there?" Virgil was leaning forward, his forearms resting on his knees so that he was staring at the floor and not his father.
"He asked if you were okay."
"No. Actually I asked if everything was all right. Call me a nosey old man if you like, but I was worried about my sons. I wanted to be there if either of them needed my help."
"So you heard everything?" Virgil asked the floor.
Jeff nodded. "I'm sorry. I had no right to listen to your private conversation. I wished I hadn't afterwards... I didn't get any sleep that night... I was trying to decide my best course of action. Say nothing and pretend I didn't know what was going on? Talk to Brains? Talk to either or both of you?"
"What did you decide?" Scott asked.
"I chickened out. I decided to wait 24 hours and then decide. You've no idea how relieved I was that I didn't have to make that decision."
Virgil was silent.
"You may notice that, despite your fears, I'm still alive, though I will admit to feeling sick when I heard what you had to say. It's true that I worry about you all. But I still wish you'd talked to me... How long did you think you could keep something like that secret?" Jeff asked them both.
Scott looked at Virgil. "As long as was necessary," he said determinedly.
"A secret like that could have done as much damage to International Rescue and this family as any of the scenarios you put forward."
"We did what we thought was best... for everyone." Scott was still the spokesman. "If we'd told you, what would you have done?"
"I haven't fully thought about it. I don't really know. At least the three of you wouldn't have had to shoulder the burden alone."
"I know Brains was relieved when I talked to him the following morning." Scott said. "He kept putting forward theories and hypotheses. I didn't understand most of it, I think he was just relieved to get it off his chest."
"I know." Jeff stated. "He told me when I went and thanked him for being loyal."
Virgil finally looked up. "You thanked him?"
Jeff nodded. "After it was apparent that you were getting your hearing back, I thanked him. I didn't want him thinking he'd been disloyal to me, or International Rescue."
Virgil sat back. "I'm sorry. It seemed to be the only course of action. I didn't like doing it, but I couldn't see any other option. I wasn't even going to tell Scott, but after we'd started talking it seemed impossible to stop."
"Good stuff that chocolate cake." Scott said ironically. "Cures all ills."
Jeff smiled and then cleared his throat. "Second apology! And this is to you Scott."
"Me!"
"You may not even remember, but I've felt guilty about this all along... Do you remember...? When you were in rehabilitation... That day..."
"Yes?" Scott prompted, confused.
"It was after..." Jeff hesitated looking at Virgil.
"What I think he's trying to say." Virgil stated. "After lunch on the day you told me you hated me, I rang home. I was talking to Father when you came into the room. We didn't tell you he was still on the line." Jeff nodded in agreement.
"And heard everything we said?" Scott hazarded.
"Yes." Jeff said. "I'm sorry."
"I remember." Scott said. "I remember everything about that day, worst luck. But I don't think we said anything too serious did we."
Virgil shook his head. "No. You apologised and asked me to forgive you. And at the time I was unable to."
"Pity we didn't have the chocolate cake then." Scott opined. "We could have saved a lot of problems if we'd talked straight away."
Jeff agreed silently, before he continued on uneasily. "Also, Scott, there's something else you're unaware of... That week I stayed with you... At night I left the door open between our suites so that I could hear you if you needed a hand..."
He paused, unsure how to proceed.
The room was quiet. Scott stared at his hands.
"I'm a terrible father!" Jeff said suddenly. "My son was going through the worst time in his life, and I couldn't even find the courage to offer him comfort. I could hear you crying and I didn't know what to do. So I ignored you! Just like I did with Virgil's problem that night!" Angrily he stood and strode back to the window to look out into the bright sunshine.
"Don't you ever say you're a terrible father!" Scott said almost as angrily. "I have never thought that, and I never will. Even if you had've come into my room I probably would have pushed you away. I didn't want to be comforted. I wanted to be cured. And no one could do that for me... I thought!"
"But perhaps I could have made those first days easier... let you know that I did care... that I did want to help, and then... then... then maybe you wouldn't have needed to... act the way you did."
"I knew you cared. But if I'd known you knew that I'd... I probably would have been that embarrassed even Butch wouldn't have got me out from under those covers."
Virgil looked at him "You can be a self conscious idiot at times, Scott," he said lightly. "I'll bet you weren't the first person in that place to feel out of control. And you certainly won't be the last."
"I know that now. But at that point my world was disintegrating and I was clinging to the one bit of self-esteem that I had left."
Virgil gave a sad smile. "I can relate to that."
Scott looked back at his father. "Sit down... please."
"Yes, relax Father. Neither of us think any less of you than we did before. If anything, Virgil added, "the fact that you are telling us this makes me think more highly of you."
Jeff eyed them both before moving from the window. But he didn't sit down. "You might change your mind in a moment. Third apology! And this one's to you again, Virgil." He indicated the cardboard box. "This is yours."
"Mine?" Virgil looked at the unfamiliar box.
"I ask that you don't blame Scott. I'm sure that he would have done what you asked, only I told him not to. If you want to get angry, get angry at me."
Virgil was beginning to get an idea of what the box contained. He stood and walked over to it. "This is a different box."
"We thought we'd play it safe and Scott destroyed the box but not the contents."
"So you've seen what was in there." Virgil said quietly.
"Yes." His father told him.
"Sorry Virg. But once I knew I couldn't destroy them."
Virgil opened the box and took out the top certificate. "Thank you." He said gratefully. "Both of you."
Scott smiled in relief.
"Do me a favour, Virgil." Jeff said. "Frame some of those and put them on your wall. Be proud of them."
"You know," Virgil took a few more out, "I might just do that." He lifted out some more and then froze. "So you've seen everything that's in here?"
"Uh, yeah." Scott said embarrassedly.
Virgil removed the paintings. "I haven't looked at most of these in years. I'd paint one, and then shove it away out of sight with the others." He screwed up his face. "Some of these are pretty terrible!"
"I don't know." Scott was looking over his shoulder. "I like that one." He pointed at the drawing Virgil had done when he was five. "You've really caught her likeness."
"The memory was freshest then." Virgil said seriously.
"So," Scott asked lightly, "are you doing one for her this year?"
"I've already finished it." Virgil admitted.
"Really? It wasn't in the box." Jeff stated.
"No. It was a bit different this time, so I decided to honour her memory by giving it to someone else." Virgil looked at Scott.
"That one you gave me?" Scott asked faintly.
Virgil nodded.
"Gosh... thanks..." was all Scott could manage.
Virgil replaced the paintings and certificates. "I guess I'll take these back to my room." He picked up the box and gave his father an ironic grin. "That's unless there's anything else you want to talk about? Any other secrets that should be out in the open?"
Jeff gave a chuckle shook his head. "Now where have I heard that before? No, that's all I have to say. Thank you both for listening and for being understanding."
They moved for the door.
"Boys!" Jeff suddenly said. "I'm calling another meeting this evening. Please, this time, don't go for a walk beforehand."
"Okay."
"Message received."
***
"What are you doing?" Scott asked as he wandered into Virgil's room.
"Just finishing this painting off. I'll be glad to be done with it."
"Then why don't you leave it?"
"I don't know. I have a feeling that I should finish it."
"Virgil?" Scott asked. "Why did you spell danger with a lowercase d and a capital R?"
"Where?" Virgil asked absently.
"In your painting."
"I haven't." Virgil frowned in confusion.
"Yes you have."
"It's my painting. I should know what I've put in it and I haven't written danger anywhere... in anything... for days... maybe even months."
"But it's in your painting!" Scott protested. "I can see it in the mirror."
"That's quite a narcissistic tendency you've developed there, Scott. Always looking in mirrors..."
"I wasn't looking at my reflection. I was looking at your painting. You wouldn't let me otherwise."
"That's because everyone considers themselves to be a critic and always think they can improve on what I'm doing before I've finished it."
"I don't do that!"
"Are you kidding?" Virgil laughed. "You're one of the worst. You're already doing it with this painting. Face it Scott, you're a control freak!"
"That still doesn't explain why you've painted the word danger with a lowercase d and a capital R."
"I haven't!" Virgil repeated in exasperation.
"Look!" Scott grabbed him by the arm and pulled him so he could also look in the mirror. "Tell me I'm wrong."
Virgil looked at the reflection of the painting and his face sagged in disbelief. Without a word he walked back over to his easel and pushed the button that would allow it to rotate so that Scott could see it.
Scott's face looked equally bemused as he examined the painting.
Two birds of prey, one with his eyes blindfolded, the other with its ears bandaged were flying into a pit in the ground. From the pit fire and smoke billowed, obliterating the background. An arrow pointed into the pit. On the arrow was printed a single word...
Regnad.
"I never realised." Virgil stared at the word. "I never even thought..."
"Regnad is danger backwards." Scott frowned. "If I'd known I would have steered well clear."
"No you wouldn't."
"You're right." Scott gave a wry smile. "I wouldn't. Neither of us would have."
Jeff Tracy came to the door. "I'm glad you're both here. I want a word with you in my room."
"Now?" Scott asked.
"Now."
Scott and Virgil looked at each other and shrugged. Virgil slipped off his smock and hung it on its hook. He took one last wondering look at the painting and followed his brother out of his room.
Jeff was looking out the window when they got there. There was a cardboard box on his bed.
Scott recognised it.
Virgil didn't. "What's up, Father?"
"How's your hearing, Virgil? Can you hear me okay?" Jeff sat in a chair so his bed was between the three of them.
"It's fine. The tinnitus has almost gone and Brains' last test showed my hearing's nearly back to what it was before the accident."
"Good. I don't want any misunderstandings. Close the door, will you? Then you both may as well sit down."
Mystified Virgil complied.
"I owe you boys some apologies. I'll start with you, Virgil. Well, I guess it's really to both of you. The night before you started getting your hearing back I decided that I wanted a midnight snack." He gave a self-conscious smile. "I'm quite partial to your grandmother's chocolate cake myself. When I heard the piano I stopped to listen. When I realised it was you playing I had to stay and find out what was going on."
"How much did you hear?" Scott asked.
"Let's just say that I won't tell your brothers what it means when you two want chocolate cake."
"Oh." Scott said quietly. "I'd hoped you'd gone to bed when I told you to."
"You knew he was there?" Virgil was leaning forward, his forearms resting on his knees so that he was staring at the floor and not his father.
"He asked if you were okay."
"No. Actually I asked if everything was all right. Call me a nosey old man if you like, but I was worried about my sons. I wanted to be there if either of them needed my help."
"So you heard everything?" Virgil asked the floor.
Jeff nodded. "I'm sorry. I had no right to listen to your private conversation. I wished I hadn't afterwards... I didn't get any sleep that night... I was trying to decide my best course of action. Say nothing and pretend I didn't know what was going on? Talk to Brains? Talk to either or both of you?"
"What did you decide?" Scott asked.
"I chickened out. I decided to wait 24 hours and then decide. You've no idea how relieved I was that I didn't have to make that decision."
Virgil was silent.
"You may notice that, despite your fears, I'm still alive, though I will admit to feeling sick when I heard what you had to say. It's true that I worry about you all. But I still wish you'd talked to me... How long did you think you could keep something like that secret?" Jeff asked them both.
Scott looked at Virgil. "As long as was necessary," he said determinedly.
"A secret like that could have done as much damage to International Rescue and this family as any of the scenarios you put forward."
"We did what we thought was best... for everyone." Scott was still the spokesman. "If we'd told you, what would you have done?"
"I haven't fully thought about it. I don't really know. At least the three of you wouldn't have had to shoulder the burden alone."
"I know Brains was relieved when I talked to him the following morning." Scott said. "He kept putting forward theories and hypotheses. I didn't understand most of it, I think he was just relieved to get it off his chest."
"I know." Jeff stated. "He told me when I went and thanked him for being loyal."
Virgil finally looked up. "You thanked him?"
Jeff nodded. "After it was apparent that you were getting your hearing back, I thanked him. I didn't want him thinking he'd been disloyal to me, or International Rescue."
Virgil sat back. "I'm sorry. It seemed to be the only course of action. I didn't like doing it, but I couldn't see any other option. I wasn't even going to tell Scott, but after we'd started talking it seemed impossible to stop."
"Good stuff that chocolate cake." Scott said ironically. "Cures all ills."
Jeff smiled and then cleared his throat. "Second apology! And this is to you Scott."
"Me!"
"You may not even remember, but I've felt guilty about this all along... Do you remember...? When you were in rehabilitation... That day..."
"Yes?" Scott prompted, confused.
"It was after..." Jeff hesitated looking at Virgil.
"What I think he's trying to say." Virgil stated. "After lunch on the day you told me you hated me, I rang home. I was talking to Father when you came into the room. We didn't tell you he was still on the line." Jeff nodded in agreement.
"And heard everything we said?" Scott hazarded.
"Yes." Jeff said. "I'm sorry."
"I remember." Scott said. "I remember everything about that day, worst luck. But I don't think we said anything too serious did we."
Virgil shook his head. "No. You apologised and asked me to forgive you. And at the time I was unable to."
"Pity we didn't have the chocolate cake then." Scott opined. "We could have saved a lot of problems if we'd talked straight away."
Jeff agreed silently, before he continued on uneasily. "Also, Scott, there's something else you're unaware of... That week I stayed with you... At night I left the door open between our suites so that I could hear you if you needed a hand..."
He paused, unsure how to proceed.
The room was quiet. Scott stared at his hands.
"I'm a terrible father!" Jeff said suddenly. "My son was going through the worst time in his life, and I couldn't even find the courage to offer him comfort. I could hear you crying and I didn't know what to do. So I ignored you! Just like I did with Virgil's problem that night!" Angrily he stood and strode back to the window to look out into the bright sunshine.
"Don't you ever say you're a terrible father!" Scott said almost as angrily. "I have never thought that, and I never will. Even if you had've come into my room I probably would have pushed you away. I didn't want to be comforted. I wanted to be cured. And no one could do that for me... I thought!"
"But perhaps I could have made those first days easier... let you know that I did care... that I did want to help, and then... then... then maybe you wouldn't have needed to... act the way you did."
"I knew you cared. But if I'd known you knew that I'd... I probably would have been that embarrassed even Butch wouldn't have got me out from under those covers."
Virgil looked at him "You can be a self conscious idiot at times, Scott," he said lightly. "I'll bet you weren't the first person in that place to feel out of control. And you certainly won't be the last."
"I know that now. But at that point my world was disintegrating and I was clinging to the one bit of self-esteem that I had left."
Virgil gave a sad smile. "I can relate to that."
Scott looked back at his father. "Sit down... please."
"Yes, relax Father. Neither of us think any less of you than we did before. If anything, Virgil added, "the fact that you are telling us this makes me think more highly of you."
Jeff eyed them both before moving from the window. But he didn't sit down. "You might change your mind in a moment. Third apology! And this one's to you again, Virgil." He indicated the cardboard box. "This is yours."
"Mine?" Virgil looked at the unfamiliar box.
"I ask that you don't blame Scott. I'm sure that he would have done what you asked, only I told him not to. If you want to get angry, get angry at me."
Virgil was beginning to get an idea of what the box contained. He stood and walked over to it. "This is a different box."
"We thought we'd play it safe and Scott destroyed the box but not the contents."
"So you've seen what was in there." Virgil said quietly.
"Yes." His father told him.
"Sorry Virg. But once I knew I couldn't destroy them."
Virgil opened the box and took out the top certificate. "Thank you." He said gratefully. "Both of you."
Scott smiled in relief.
"Do me a favour, Virgil." Jeff said. "Frame some of those and put them on your wall. Be proud of them."
"You know," Virgil took a few more out, "I might just do that." He lifted out some more and then froze. "So you've seen everything that's in here?"
"Uh, yeah." Scott said embarrassedly.
Virgil removed the paintings. "I haven't looked at most of these in years. I'd paint one, and then shove it away out of sight with the others." He screwed up his face. "Some of these are pretty terrible!"
"I don't know." Scott was looking over his shoulder. "I like that one." He pointed at the drawing Virgil had done when he was five. "You've really caught her likeness."
"The memory was freshest then." Virgil said seriously.
"So," Scott asked lightly, "are you doing one for her this year?"
"I've already finished it." Virgil admitted.
"Really? It wasn't in the box." Jeff stated.
"No. It was a bit different this time, so I decided to honour her memory by giving it to someone else." Virgil looked at Scott.
"That one you gave me?" Scott asked faintly.
Virgil nodded.
"Gosh... thanks..." was all Scott could manage.
Virgil replaced the paintings and certificates. "I guess I'll take these back to my room." He picked up the box and gave his father an ironic grin. "That's unless there's anything else you want to talk about? Any other secrets that should be out in the open?"
Jeff gave a chuckle shook his head. "Now where have I heard that before? No, that's all I have to say. Thank you both for listening and for being understanding."
They moved for the door.
"Boys!" Jeff suddenly said. "I'm calling another meeting this evening. Please, this time, don't go for a walk beforehand."
"Okay."
"Message received."
***