Author Notes: thanks go to Callie/Mikey (read her stories ^_^) for being my beta reader.
* GLOMPS Callie/Mikey *
Choice
By: Crystalin Elf
Chapter 11: Contemplations
* * Bakura's P.O.V. * *
I would never have guess that my hikari possessed such a stubborn streak, although
perhaps I should have. Saionji has accepted a permanent job position here in
Domino, and is no longer trying to obsessively control Ryou's time. Of course, I
suspect that his new position is so that he can keep an eye on me, and perhaps find a
way of convincing Ryou to let me be a 'wondrous archeological discovery' for him.
I'd wondered how many times we have to tell him no before he'll listen?
Ryou wouldn't let me use any persuasive measures on him.
I've denied Saionji's request twenty-eight times so far, and Ryou has refused his request
twenty-one times. He quit asking Ryou if he could 'borrow' me when I asked him if
he wanted to be able to borrow me. A few deliberate phone calls to Marik, which I
made sure Saionji overhead, convinced him quickly enough that he shouldn't bother
my Hikari with such idiotic questions.
You know, being evil really has its advantages at times. Or at least, having everyone
think I'm evil does have value. Really, I'm not that evil. I'm not! Really!
The kinder, gentler Bakura does not do evil things. Misunderstood acts of mischief, yes, I
do that, but I don't do evil things. That's why I'm not obsessive about my hikari…
or possessive.
Really.
Or at least I don't in my own, supremely unbiased opinion. Even Ryou will say I don't,
since I'm a kinder, more gentle Bakura! But… what my hikari knows generally
won't hurt him, and if it will, well… whatever 'it' is won't be around long enough to
testify or exact any sort of payment from my Ryou. Mwahahahahahah!
And that wasn't an evil laugh. Honestly, I promise.
But you know, there is a fun part to Saionji's obsession. Subsequently, after all those
staged 'phone conversations' with Marik, I now have the idiotic bastard known as
Saionji convinced that I and Marik have caused almost every war or violent conflict
that has occurred throughout human history. And finally, finally, he's stopped
asking me to visit the office with him.
And the peasants rejoice. Yay.
I'd still like to spend more time with Ryou than I get to, but at least things are better now.
If I want to endure his friends, I can spend even more time with my Hikari. I could
have even more of his time if I were willing to endure Saionji's presence even more
than I do now. More time with Saionji… oh, the horror…
But I keep reminding myself that things could always be much worse, and I spend time
with Ryou's friend, and more time with his father. Because they could always be
here, taking more of my Ryou's time away from me. Yes, I remind myself to be
thankful that Minako, Ooshige, and Rei are gone. They're gone, they're gone, thank
Ra they're gone!
Now if Saionji could just find himself a girlfriend that wouldn't want to spend time with
either of us, and if all of Ryou's friends would hurry up and decide that group dates
aren't the best thing in the world… I would be very happy indeed. Life would be so
much simpler, and I could spend as much time with my Ryou as I wanted.
And damn it, why am I still calling him 'my Ryou'? I definitely sound like I'm obsessed…
I don't own him, and it isn't as though we're dating or anything. He's not in love
with me, and I'm not in love with him.
No. Of course not, absolutely not… Just because I want to be loved by him, doesn't mean
I want him to love me that way. Right? Just because I think of him all the time
doesn't mean I'm in love with him. It doesn't. Just because I dream of holding him,
and kissing him, and touching him, and doing couply things with him doesn't mean that I…
That I…
Oh.
Shit.
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Bakura glared balefully at the monster on the screen, uncaring that the creature was
totally unaffected by his animosity toward it.
"Just you wait, in a couple of more levels, I'll be back for you! And a few more after that,
and your entire race will be in danger!" he said, forced to wait impatiently while the
sever reloaded his data and sent him back to the city.
This was the third time he'd been killed by a member of the orc race, and he wasn't
happy about it. Did the damn things really have to attack him while he was waiting
for his hit points to regenerate? He was certain that they did it just to mock him, and
conveniently ignored how stupid that theory sounded.
The computer was lucky it hadn't been broken yet, as frustrated as he was with the many
times he'd died. It just wasn't fair, he thought, as his character regenerated at the
Kelethin bank. He was playing to distract himself from his earlier thoughts, with
very little success. Each failure seemed like a personal affront, despite that currently
almost all the aggro monsters were at a much higher level than his ranger. They're
killing me on purpose!
Bet Ryou wouldn't die, he thought, glaring mutinously at the other players on the screen,
hoping that he would run by one of their corpses some day. He hated getting killed,
especially since he kept getting lost, and was almost at the level where he would no
longer be able to maintain his items when he respawned. This really isn't fair.
Bakura had found playing Arcanum to be infinitely too easy (after a few modifications,
of course), and so had chosen this one as an alternative for stress relief, but it wasn't
working one bit. He'd also chosen this game, instead of some other one, because
Ryou had promised to get a second account and play with him…
On his own, Bakura really didn't have the patience for online game that he couldn't cheat
at.
What in the world does he see in this game anyway, he wondered, giving up now that he
was back in town. He sat down and selected the 'camp' command, and waited to be
logged off. For a moment, he contemplated deleting his character and shutting off
his account. Why pay a monthly fee for something he was so awful at?
But Ryou had promised to play with him…
He shook his head and exited the game fully before shutting the system down, then stood
and stretched. Ryou was already home, he knew, and waiting for him to come
downstairs.
// Welcome home Hikari. // he sent, following his light's expectations and heading down
to the kitchen.
// Do you want an after school snack? //
/ I'm not a child Yami, I don't need after school snacks. /
// I didn't say if you needed one hikari, I asked if you wanted one. There's a big
difference between the two you know. //
He resolutely shoved the image of a chocolate covered Ryou with the word 'snack' hanging above his head.
Why did he have to remember parts of that insane dream now?
/ well… actually, I was wondering if you wanted to go out and eat with me instead? I
mean, you don't have to if you don't want to of course, but I thought… /
// Hm? What do you think Ryou? //
/ I was thinking that it would be… nice. Ya know, nice to spend time with you, time that
didn't involve a computer game, or father, or our other friends… /
"You're other friends, Hikari, not mine," Bakura stated, rounding the corner to appear in
front of his light. "And yes, it would be nice to spend more time with you, just the
two of us."
"Really? You mean it Bakura?"
Bakura smiled as his hikari looked at him with wide, hopeful eyes, and gave him a short
hug. "Yes Ryou, I mean it. Now, where would you like to go?"
Ryou took a deep breath and said, "Well, there's this little place that Yugi told me
about…"
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* * Ryou's P.O.V. * *
To say that I don't know why would be a lie. Of course I know, I'm not so deceptive to
myself as to deny the truth. That is, after all, why Yugi and Malik both came to me
for advice. I don't deny the truth about what I feel, and they know that I'll give them
honest advice.
Without any speeches, I might add. Otherwise, they could have always gone to Anzu.
So of course I know why I dream about, some sweet and gentle, some very intimate
dreams. I know why he's on my mind all the time now, why I feel like I'd do anything
to get a smile from him.
And I've noticed that he only smiles for me.
A true, genuine smile, not the evil smirk he likes to give Yugi's yami. Only for me. I love
every bit of attention he gives me, and I do try to spend the most amount of time with
him that I can.
I wonder how my friends would react if they knew? How would my father feel?
Yugi and Malik know, of course. I told them how I felt about him, so they could be
reassured in their own romances. But how would the others feel? I mean, he hasn't
exactly been nice to any of them, but he hasn't been too hostile lately either.
Would they accept my feelings? Would my father?
Would they reject me?
I can't help but notice that I really don't give a damn if they do or not, and my
speculation is only idle. A real friend would support my feelings, after all. And I feel
how I feel, and no one can change that. It's a moot point really, but not yet a dead
issue… not until I find out how he feels.
And I will find out. I've promised myself not to keep my feelings bottled up inside, that I
would confess, and ask him how he feels.
I wonder what I would do if he rejected me? But I don't think he will, since we often
share our dreams. I wonder if he's realized yet that I've shared those dreams with
him as well. But since I don't know how he feels, I'll assume that my mind is the
originator of the dreams, and pray that they don't disgust him.
I'll walk carefully, and delve slowly. Blurting my feelings might drive Bakura away.
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Crys: Hehehe! I've had writers block lately, and I was sick for a bit, and then my
husband had to go out of town, but! He's back now, and my writing came back as
well ^^ And Rakka took care of me while he was gone, Lalala.
Rakka: She's like a little kid isn't she? But it's nice to see her so energetic again, and
back to a normal sleeping pattern.
Crys: Bakura's frustration at his online game was a mirror of mine. I've achieved lvl 10!
Dieing is much more risky now!
Rakka: Who can guess the game? Shouldn't be too hard…Err… a prize of some sort to
the first person who guesses the game correctly. But what in the world could we give?
Crys: the next chapter before it's posted? An event that they want to occur can be written
into the story, or, like some people do, we'll write a story based on the winners
request!
One of the three.
Rakka: Oh, alright, that sounds fair. But it might take a bit to write you know… you have
that joint project with Callie/Mikey to work on, and the Malik/Marik fic underway.
Crys: * waves hand * Yes yes, I know, but it won't be a problem.
Rakka: Thanks for reading, and please review.