© January 2003

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Esca. Okay Go "Get over it".

~*~TEN~*~

Van gripped the edge of his bed so tightly his knuckles were white. He had one of his arms draped over his eyes, grateful that at least his stomach had settled considerably but still trying to calm the massive headache he was feeling.

They'd been traveling all day, and the sun had set behind them a couple of hours ago. After finding their rooms this morning, the group had decided to have some breakfast and then get some sleep. After that, Irishiko and Ero had gone off somewhere to check out what supplies they had and track down anything they would possibly need. Ivan and Pye disappeared at about noon and had yet to return. So Van had been left alone, something for which he was grateful for, considering how he was feeling.

'Van?'

The raven haired king perked up at the sound of that voice.

'Hi Hitomi.'

'Do you feel better today than yesterday?'

Yesterday? Van thought to himself. Had so little time passed? It seemed to him like it had been an eternity since the last time he had talked with Hitomi.

'Let's just say I've had better days,' Van responded, to which she giggled.

'You find my pain amusing do you?'

'No I don't.'

'But you're laughing.'

'Because you're seasick,' she giggled again. 'I just have a hard time imagining you turning green.'

'Yes, I'm sure my change in pigmentation is very amusing,' he said sarcastically. 'How did you know I was seasick anyway?'

Van sensed a second of alarm of her part, but it quickly passed so he hardly even noticed it.

'I can feel your dizziness,' she responded. 'And when I found your mind you were thinking that you wanted the boat to stop.'

Van couldn't help but laugh at her remark. 'You know you're not supposed to intrude on other people's thoughts.'

'Seriously, Van. Is everything okay? Why are you on a boat? Can't you tell me what's going on?'

The king sighed deeply. 'I wish I could,' he said honestly, 'But I don't even understand it very well myself, so I don't think I could explain it to you.'

'Maybe I could help you understand it, Van.'

'No, Hitomi, just…I'd rather not, alright?'

There was a weird sort of silence until Van heard Hitomi sigh.

'Alright, Van if that's what you want. But just know that I'm here if you need me.'

'I know. Thanks.'

'I got to go.'

'Bye, then.'

'Van?'

'Yeah?'

'…Nevermind. I'll talk to you soon.'

'Miss you already.'

'Cute, Van,' she replied sarcastically, 'Hey…be careful.'

'Aren't I always?'

'Shut up.'

'Go.'

'I'm going…jeez, pushy…'

Van smiled as he felt himself being left all alone once more.

"How are you feeling your Majesty?"

Van lifted his arm to see Ero standing in the doorway.

"I've been better," he answered, "And I told you to call me Van."

"Yes, maybe I should," Ero chuckled. "We wouldn't want anyone to suspect the king of Fanelia do we?"

He moved closer to Van and held up a plate of food he had in his hand. "So Van," Ero stressed his name playfully, "Are you up for some dinner?"

Van groaned. Breakfast had not been a good idea and lunch had proved equally unsuccessful. He wasn't about to bother with dinner.

"Thanks, I think I'll pass," he told the redheaded man.

"I figured," the other answered as he moved over to sit on the bed opposite Van's. "That's why this is for me. I will say that you look better than earlier."

Van merely grunted in response. "How much longer is this going to take?"

"We should arrive sometime around midday tomorrow at the latest. We're actually making excellent time, considering everything. Don't worry, Van. You'll get over the sickness in a little while. On the voyage back, I'm sure you won't even feel it."

The mere mention of another voyage made Van queasy, but he said nothing.

Ero and Van were sharing a make shift room, as were Pye and Ivan, while Irishiko got a room for herself (being the only woman of the group). All were comfortable with the arrangements, since they couldn't really complain about it even if they didn't like it.

"You haven't seen Ivan and Pye by chance have you?" Ero asked as he ate.

Van moved his head to look at the younger man. "I haven't seen anyone since after lunch."

"It figures," Ero said. "Those two are always off somewhere getting into trouble."

Van raised an eyebrow. "Ivan doesn't seem like that kind of person."

Ero snorted as he swallowed a bite of food, "You'd be surprised."

"You know there's something about those two…" Van trailed off as Ero looked at him curiously.

"What about them?"

"I just can't shake the feeling like I've met them before."

"That's because you probably have," Ero said simply.

"What?" Van asked. "I think I would have remembered meeting them."

Ero shook his head. "We don't go to Fanelia too often, but we did a couple of times last year," he looked at Van directly, "And if you don't remember them, they did their job correctly. They're recon.  Their job is to get the information we need, so they're meant to be trustworthy but easily forgettable."

Van sat up and held his head as the room spun for a second and the familiar rocking motion returned. "I see."

"Though you would think with Pye's blue hair, more people would remember him," Ero said with a laugh. "It drives Iri-sama crazy."

"How do you put up with her anyway?" Van let it slip out before he realized what he had said. He hadn't meant for it to sound so insulting.

Ero looked at him strangely for a second. "I don't let myself be intimidated by a strong woman," he said simply.

"That didn't come out the way it supposed to," Van loosely apologized. "It's just that I've never met someone so …"

"Stubborn?" Ero supplied as he finished the last of his diner.

"For lack of a better word, yes," his companion answered.

Ero leaned back and lay on his bed with his hands behind his head as he stared at the ceiling. "She isn't always like this. You've just got to cut her some slack. She's a bit tense with this whole situation."

"If anyone should be tense don't you think it should be me?" Van asked.

"You don't understand how deep this goes for her," Ero said closing his eyes, "Besides, if she's like this it has to do a lot with you."

"Me? What ….?"

"It's fairly well known that Iri-sama doesn't like nobility too much."

"Really?" Van said.

"Royalty in particular," Ero told him. "See she pities the nobles for being slaves to their positions, yet she hates them for upholding that slavery. But royalty she just hates."

"That doesn't sound very fair," Van said.

"She has her way of seeing things. She thinks that royalty has the power to break away from the slavery of the title. Yet they choose not to, even if it means the suffering of others," Ero responded. "She figures that you have the power to change who you are and what needs to be done with your life, yet you chose to continue in slavery and enslave others as well by your example."

Van frowned. Is this the idea that Irishiko had about royalty, about him? Something must have happened to her to make her think this way, since if she knew anything about his position, she would know that he as king was bound to his people first and foremost, and that he could not be selfish if he wanted to be a good leader. She should know that, being a leader herself. However, Van thought, in her line of work, she must see her fair share of corrupt politicians and puppet kings as make her think they were all alike. He would have to do what he could in this short time to convince her that he was different.

"There must have been something that happened with Iri-sama to make her think that way," Ero whispered lightly, almost to himself.

"Can you tell me anything about her?" Van asked.

Ero looked over to the king with a raised eyebrow, wondering why on in heaven's name would Van want to know about the leader of the Akan.

"Or we could talk about when you're going to tell her," Van supplied when he noticed Ero's hesitance.

The redhead shot up to a sitting position and looked intently at the king. "What are you talking about? Tell her what?"

"That you love her," Van said simply.

Ero's jaw hit the floor immediately at his companion's response.

"I-I don't know what you mean," he stammered once he found his voice.

Van looked at him skeptically. "You don't even believe that," he said, "It's not terribly obvious, but I can tell."

Ero remained speechless as Van continued, "I'll give you some advice. Don't wait too long to tell her how you feel. One day, it'll be too late and she'll be gone, leaving you alone and kicking yourself never letting her know."

Ero recovered finally and noticed the older man's slightly bitter tone. "You sound like you speak from experience."

Van met Ero's grey eyes with a sad smile, "You could say that."

The younger man swallowed loudly, extremely uncomfortable with the fact that Van had figured out how he felt about Irishiko so quickly. For goodness sake, they'd only known each other for less than a day! But he realized Van had a point. He wanted to tell Irishiko, he really did. He was just waiting for the right time to do it, but the time never seemed to come…and one day it may be too late.

He looked over to the king, "You know, things aren't that simple."

Van shrugged. "They should be."

"You don't understand," Ero said. "She's married."

Van flinched. "Oh. Sorry…she just…doesn't look it. Where's her husband?"

"Well, technically she's a widow. The situation between us is very difficult," Ero continued, now speaking his thoughts, seeming to forget Van was even there, "Her husband was already dead when I met her, and after I joined the Akan, she and I had a very professional relationship. She trusts me completely, and we're now good friends. After everything we've been through together I'm not sure I want to risk losing our friendship…"

The redhead sighed deeply, running a hand over his face.

"Besides," he continued, "I don't think she's ever really stopped mourning the death of her husband. I know she still wears her wedding ring and she always has a black sash tied around her waist. I just don't think it would be right for me to impose my feelings on her."

After a bit of silence, he looked over to Van with a small chuckle. "I don't know why I'm even telling you all this."

"Sometimes it's easier to talk to strangers about personal things because you know that you probably won't ever see them again so you don't have to live with the knowledge that they might tell your secrets to the people you know," Van observed. He remembered Hitomi had mentioned something along those lines once while she was studying in school. Psychology or psy something or other.

"Hn…" was all the other man said in response.

"Hey, Ero! Van!" Pye poked his blue head through their doorway. "How are you feeling Van?"

Van rubbed his forehead, indicating he was still feeling a headache.

"Well, Irishiko-sama wants to see us all in her room right away," Pye informed them before disappearing once more.

With a deep sigh Ero stood up and walked to the door. "Coming?" he asked Van.

The raven haired man stood up and followed Ero down the hall to Irishiko's room.

Walking inside they found Ivan and Pye already there, and Irishiko was sitting in a wooden chair, as always her face unreadable because of the mask she wore. Van was beginning to wonder if she ever took the thing off.

When everyone was inside, Ero closed the door and leaned against the edge of a small table that was next to Irishiko which held her sword just at her grasp.

"When we arrive in Ezgardia, we're not going to have much time," she said matter-of-factly, "So this is how things are going to go. Ivan and Pye, as soon as we land, I want you to find out where they're keeping Lancen, and as soon as you do, find me right away. Ero will be securing supplies, and I will be speaking to the captain of the vessel where we will return as well as seeing if I can find out what CeJalii want with Lancen, and if Korin really had anything to do with this so we won't be walking into some kind of trap. At nightfall, we'll have to move quickly so that we'll be ready to leave as soon as the ship does. I assume everyone understands what is expected of them?"

"Sure thing, boss," Pye said, while Ivan simply ran a hand through his hair and gave a nod.

"No," Ero suddenly spoke up. "Let me go with Ivan instead. Pye can take care of what we need."

Irishiko raised an eyebrow at him in surprise, but gave her consent.

"What do you need me to do?" Van asked since he noticed she hadn't mentioned him at all.

Irishiko tilted her head to look at him, maybe for the first time bringing her eyes to momentarily meet his.

"You are staying out of sight," she said simply. "I don't want you doing anything."

Van's temper flared. "What?! You really expect me to come all this way just to do nothing?! I thought you were supposed to be helping me get my wife back, and now you expect me to just come along for a ride?"

"Wrong!" Irishiko yelled back at him, her own patience having reached its limit with Van, "You're here in order for you to be out of Korin's reach, which is exactly why you're going to stay out of sight! It would ruin everything if the CeJalii or one of Korin's informants got their hands on you, or worse yet, you would go and get yourself killed!"

Van walked over to where she sat and stood towering over her. "Don't you dare insult me by implying that I'm careless," he said with a sudden coolness. "And don't presume to order me to do or not do anything, since you have absolutely no right to do so."

Irishiko stood up to her full height, and (though the top of her head only reached his nose) she glared directly into his face.

"Don't you dare tell me what to do," she said in a dangerously low voice, "Your title pulls absolutely no weight here. Kindly remember that you are here out of our good graces, since we are under no obligation to help you. And since you are currently my responsibility, you will do exactly as I say, no questions asked."

Van was trying desperately hard to control himself, since he did not believe in hitting a woman, no matter how frustrated he was with this particular one. Putting his beliefs ahead of his pride, he turned on his heel and made his way towards the door.

"I didn't ask for your help," he muttered on the way out, "You came to me." With that he violently opened the door and stormed out of the room towards his own.

Ivan was staring in an uncharacteristic manner at Irishiko, who apparently was also trying to control her anger. He had never seen anyone talk to her that way to before, and although nothing had happened right then, Ivan sensed that this situation was going to get worse before it got any better. The atmosphere in the room suddenly became too uncomfortable for him, so he decided to leave to his own room and see if he could catch some sleep since he figured he wouldn't be getting much of it in the next couple of days.

After Ivan left, Pye also exited saying he was going to go find some food, and left Ero and a very frustrated Irishiko alone.

The brown haired woman fell back into her chair and let out a growl.

Ero looked down at her when he heard her mention something along the lines of "damn men and their pride".

"Don't be so hard on him, Iri-sama," Ero said softly, sitting on the table top.

She covered her face with her hands in silent response.

"After all, he just wants to feel like he's contributing to getting his wife back," he continued. "Van isn't one to just sit back and wait for others to do things for him. He's different from the others."

"Doesn't he see that can't do anything?" her voice came out muffled. "That what I'm telling him to do is for his own safety? What good would it be to anyone if he got himself captured or killed? Not only would I feel responsible, but how would I explain it all to the Fanelians?"

She sighed and dropped her hands. "But he insists on having things done his way, which is so typical."

"You're not being fair to him," Ero came to Van's defense, "You've been judging him by your experiences with other royals. He's not like them."

She stood up and paced to the other side of the room, but not before Ero caught her saying, "Some things always stay the same."

"Iri-sama…"

"I'm just trying to do the right thing," she suddenly burst out, "And instead of being cooperative, he's irrational and stubborn!"

Ero stood up and moved closer to her.

"He's trying to do what he thinks is right," Ero said softly.

Irishiko turned to look at him. "Or maybe he just does it to get to me."

Ero shook his head. "He wants to do whatever he can to help get his wife back," he said, getting up off the table and taking steps towards her, "And I completely understand his sentiment. I…I would do the same for you."

Irishiko's eyes flew to his in surprise, but Ero wanted to keep going, thinking that it better to get it all out and over with.

"I care about you," he said, lightly touching her cheek, "And I would do anything to make sure you were safe, because…that's what you do when you love someone."

Ero looked into her eyes, wondering what her reaction would be, preparing himself to be slapped or worse…rejected.

"That's true," she finally said, bringing her hand up to cover his, "And I'm glad you reminded me of that fact."

She gave his hand a gentle squeeze, and with a small smile to him, she left the room.

~*~

TBC…

Okay folks. Baracuda here. Sigh another chapter! YEY! So now they have a plan…and Van and Irishiko have a…."difference of opinion"…lol…this next chapter promises to be juicy, so be on the look out for it! (I promise to go as fast as I can).

I just want to say thanks do all the wonderful people that have reviewed:

Equinox: I'm glad you like my story. I love sad romances, don't you? I'm a hopeless romantic and a huge V/H fan, but this is my first time wandering away from that subject. It's my first shot at writing dark, depressing, unconventional stuff, (I'm better at writing fluff) so I'm very glad you enjoy it.

Lady of the Ink: I love your reviews! They're always long and very helpful. LOL don't you love dark characters? But they are so hard to write! Rar! And it's extremely hard to write Van in character. The man practically says nothing if I stuck to character! (I'm pulling my hair out in frustration)…it's so much easier to write OOC….*sigh* why do I get myself into these things?

Illicit Water Dragon; RiverDolphin; Avaris Sky; Tydepul : THANK YOU *SO* much for being so nice to me! ^_^

SilverSeaStar: Don't you dare blow raspberries at me, young lady! LoL Well, my buddy, I'm glad you like this story. You know I love V/H but when this idea popped into my head (as twisted as it was) I knew I had to let you guys in on it. Don't you think it's a bit refreshing? Oh, and you can call Sezarina Rina or Zari, which ever you like best (I'll leave it up to you).

Cous-cous: I'm not totally ignoring you. I just can't tell you yet. BWAHAHA! I love writing cliffhangers, I just hate reading them, so I'm feeling very sorry for you. Haha. X-D

Maureen : I'm glad you're still reading this, and thanks for your forgiveness about no Hitomi. I won't stop writing.

Questionable Lies : I'm sorry about all the typos. That's what happens when you don't proof read.

Sailor Hope : The Princess Bride is the most quotable movie/book!(if you haven't read the book, find it NOW, I guarantee you'll love it) Please, don't be afraid to ask all the questions you want! ^_~ youjibaracuda@hotmail.com

Speaker of Spirits : Your are so gosh darn nice! You're not being obnoxious and rude with your suggestion (I think it would have been interesting) But it isn't necessary that Hitomi helps find Sezarina because Irishiko already knows where she is. And she has a plan. We've got to remember that this more about issues between Irishiko and Korin than anything else. Van and Sezarina are just caught in the crossfire for no (apparent) reason.

Lightbrown97@yahoo.com : I'll try to clear things up as soon as I can. (Within the next couple of chapters in think. I'll talk about Irishiko's past)

Cra-Z Kitty: I'm glad you're hooked!

Oh, and Cece, all I have to say is: BWHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XP

::drunken slur:: "I will not be moved! I am waiting for Vissinni…"

---The Princess Bride