She had dreamed of him again the dream was powerful and her mind was
reluctant to release her from it, but still the alarm blared she was sure
it was getting loader the dream faded and she was released from its grip.
She sighed another day to face, another day of 'just friends'.
Andromeda's hologram appeared before her "Are you ok?" she asked "I had to increase the volume of your alarm by 25% to wake you today." "I'm fine" she replied gruffly I was just tired I haven't slept so well recently." "Do you require additional sleep? I could tell the captain you are not well" replied the hologram a hint of concern showing in her voice. For a second she was tempted to say yes and surrender to the dream again, but she told herself to be strong. "No, I'll see you in command shortly" she said instead.
While she dressed she did her best to shake for the nights images, but she could still feel his hands on her holding her tight, she could still smell his sent, she hoped she would be busy today work would be a welcome distraction from thoughts of him.
Her prayers were not answered today though, and unusually the day was quite and uneventful she tried to remain focused but it was a losing battle why did he have to be in the same room as her; surly her had something better to do than distract her.
Lunch time came and she gladly left his presence today was not one of their lunches; she didn't think she could handle it if it was. Still as much as she was glad to be away from his influence she also longed for it; she liked their little discussions they would have over lunch or breakfast. When lunch was over she found her self pleased to be returning to him, but also dreading his distracting presence, the longing she would feel when she saw him. His pull over her was strong, but he had no clue.
When she returned from lunch she found he had gone and she breathed a sigh of relief she could concentrate now. Still she found her concentration slipping and almost asked Andromeda for his location, no she told herself be strong stay focused, there will be a day to hold him but that day is not today. But will the day really ever come another voice told her or is that just a story you tell your self to make the days easier. The shift ended finally and she retired to her quarters stopping only to collect a meal.
She dreamed again of him that night, but now a new face filled her dreams that of a child a girl barely four she saw her running her long hair flowing out behind her. She ran to him and he picked her up twilling her through the air, and she giggled with childish delight. The girl beckoned to her; mummy. she said then the dream vanished.
She awoke with a start she was dreaming of a child, had it really gone that far? She dressed and prepared for another day but the image of the girl would not leave her mind; she had called her mummy and it sounded beautiful she had never pictured her self as a mother but it seamed so natural and right in the dream. If that was her future she would gladly surrender to it.
He brushed past her in the corridor as she headed to work she wanted to tell him here and then confess her love, but she walked on; she had thought though that his eyes had strayed to hers, they hadn't, had they?
She met him for lunch again today as they did frequently still it meant nothing more than friendship for him 'just friends' sharing lunch as always. Her hand brushed his, and unbidden the image of the child flew into her mind her eyes sought out his of their own accord and stared deep into them she thought she saw something there, but then doubt flew into her mind and she broke the contact embarrassed at her slip. She had almost told him in those few seconds that had passed while she stared into his eyes drawn there by an intense power she could not control.
She wounded what had happened they had touched before, but never had she felt anything like that. This was getting out of control she couldn't go on like this. She berated herself something had to change she couldn't function like this, but what? She couldn't tell him he wasn't ready yet maybe he never would be, maybe it was all in her head. No she couldn't tell him; she would loose him forever that way. What else did that leave then? Change her feeling? She couldn't do that, things had gone to far, spiralled out of her control, and she hated when things were out of her control. But still she couldn't go on like this seeing him, but not having him; so what? That only left leaving and then she would never have him. No she would find another way to go on; she had to.
The end for now
Andromeda's hologram appeared before her "Are you ok?" she asked "I had to increase the volume of your alarm by 25% to wake you today." "I'm fine" she replied gruffly I was just tired I haven't slept so well recently." "Do you require additional sleep? I could tell the captain you are not well" replied the hologram a hint of concern showing in her voice. For a second she was tempted to say yes and surrender to the dream again, but she told herself to be strong. "No, I'll see you in command shortly" she said instead.
While she dressed she did her best to shake for the nights images, but she could still feel his hands on her holding her tight, she could still smell his sent, she hoped she would be busy today work would be a welcome distraction from thoughts of him.
Her prayers were not answered today though, and unusually the day was quite and uneventful she tried to remain focused but it was a losing battle why did he have to be in the same room as her; surly her had something better to do than distract her.
Lunch time came and she gladly left his presence today was not one of their lunches; she didn't think she could handle it if it was. Still as much as she was glad to be away from his influence she also longed for it; she liked their little discussions they would have over lunch or breakfast. When lunch was over she found her self pleased to be returning to him, but also dreading his distracting presence, the longing she would feel when she saw him. His pull over her was strong, but he had no clue.
When she returned from lunch she found he had gone and she breathed a sigh of relief she could concentrate now. Still she found her concentration slipping and almost asked Andromeda for his location, no she told herself be strong stay focused, there will be a day to hold him but that day is not today. But will the day really ever come another voice told her or is that just a story you tell your self to make the days easier. The shift ended finally and she retired to her quarters stopping only to collect a meal.
She dreamed again of him that night, but now a new face filled her dreams that of a child a girl barely four she saw her running her long hair flowing out behind her. She ran to him and he picked her up twilling her through the air, and she giggled with childish delight. The girl beckoned to her; mummy. she said then the dream vanished.
She awoke with a start she was dreaming of a child, had it really gone that far? She dressed and prepared for another day but the image of the girl would not leave her mind; she had called her mummy and it sounded beautiful she had never pictured her self as a mother but it seamed so natural and right in the dream. If that was her future she would gladly surrender to it.
He brushed past her in the corridor as she headed to work she wanted to tell him here and then confess her love, but she walked on; she had thought though that his eyes had strayed to hers, they hadn't, had they?
She met him for lunch again today as they did frequently still it meant nothing more than friendship for him 'just friends' sharing lunch as always. Her hand brushed his, and unbidden the image of the child flew into her mind her eyes sought out his of their own accord and stared deep into them she thought she saw something there, but then doubt flew into her mind and she broke the contact embarrassed at her slip. She had almost told him in those few seconds that had passed while she stared into his eyes drawn there by an intense power she could not control.
She wounded what had happened they had touched before, but never had she felt anything like that. This was getting out of control she couldn't go on like this. She berated herself something had to change she couldn't function like this, but what? She couldn't tell him he wasn't ready yet maybe he never would be, maybe it was all in her head. No she couldn't tell him; she would loose him forever that way. What else did that leave then? Change her feeling? She couldn't do that, things had gone to far, spiralled out of her control, and she hated when things were out of her control. But still she couldn't go on like this seeing him, but not having him; so what? That only left leaving and then she would never have him. No she would find another way to go on; she had to.
The end for now