© March 2003
DISCLAIMER (which I know no one ever reads anymore): I don't own Esca. Read on.
All I Need
By Youjibaracuda
~*~FOURTEEN~*~
"Hitomi…?"
Her breath caught in her chest for a second, but her eyes hardened and narrowed at him.
"Don't call me by a name that is not my own," she said, side stepping him.
He caught her elbow to stop her from walking away.
"I suggest you let go of me," she said flatly.
"Is it really you?" he asked her.
"I'm afraid you've mistaken me for some one else," she said, her voice slightly shaking, unwilling to face him, but breaking from his grasp.
Van quickly reacted, grabbing both her wrists and turned her to face him, trying to catch her gaze, but she kept her eyes to the floor.
"Hitomi," he said in a raspy voice. "Why are you being this way? Do you really think I could confuse someone else for the only woman I love?"
A tear slipped from beneath her lashes and she moved her eyes focus on his chest, her hands lightly leaning against him. By the look on her face, she was having in inner battle with herself.
"You're the one person that completes my soul," he whispered to her softly.
She let out a choked sob and flung herself at Van's neck, her tears quickly soaking through his shirt. He wrapped his arms around her, then feeling unexpectedly complete, as if something that had been missing for so long was now once again where it belonged.
Suddenly it registered in his mind what had happened earlier with that man in the stable.
"He could have killed you," Van said out loud, "What's worse, he was trying to—"
She shook her head to interrupt him.
"It's over now. Please don't ever mention it again," she whispered.
"But Hitomi—"
"Just hold me, Van," she requested, her voice breaking, "Please, just hold me."
His anger disappeared at her words and Van couldn't be more pleased to comply, tightening his hold on her and stroking her hair gently while feelings of confusion, shock and elation filled him all at once. Van drank in the feel of her after so many years, remembering how he had wanted to hold her forever.
For a long time they stood in each other's arms, the only sound being the creaking of the wood and her soft sobbing. Eventually, that died down, and Van looked at her, only to find that she was asleep. He obviously wasn't going to get any answers to the zillion questions running through his mind. Not tonight, anyway.
He moved his arm underneath her knees and made his way out back up to the next deck.
Van walked to her room, gently placing her on her bed. Removing her boots and laying her sword next to the bed, he placed her on it and pulled the sheets over her gently.
He stared down at her for a moment, gazing at her sleeping face. The face he had etched into his heart wasn't different at all, with the exception of a diagonal scar that ran from her right eyebrow to the middle of her hairline. Her golden honey colored hair had turned into a dark chocolate brown that cascaded over her pillow and beautifully framed her face. He leaned down to place a kiss on her forehead and softly wished her goodnight.
~*~*~
TBC…
J/K!!!! do you think I would do that to you??? This was just a breather, so that you could recover from the previous scene.
Okay, on with the show!!!
~*~*~
Van opened his eyes the following morning to find sunlight streaming through the small window of his room.
That was funny. He didn't remember his room having a window.
His mind sluggishly waded through the fog of drowsiness as he moved to get up.
However, when he found that he couldn't move, he looked down to find someone was clinging to him. He looked upon the head of brown hair when his slow mind recalled the events of the previous night.
~*flashback*~
Van leaned down to kiss her forehead and quietly wish her good night.
Suddenly, her eyes slid open and she reached to hang on to his shirt, keeping his face close to hers.
"Don't go, Van," she pleaded softly, "Stay with me."
Van looked into her deep green eyes, a loving gaze in them that he had missed for so long…
He couldn't refuse her anything.
Removing his boots and his sword, he slid into the bed beside her, wrapping his arms around her smaller frame, enjoying the way she nuzzled into his chest, heaving a deep content sigh.
Her rhythmic breathing was in time with his heartbeat, and they both surrendered to the bonds of sleep, each in the loving embrace of their soul mate.
~*end flashback*~
Van still couldn't fathom that he had Hitomi in his arms and that she had been so near him all this time.
She stirred slightly and moved her head so that her face was between his neck and shoulder, her left hand resting on his chest.
A small surge of heartache ran through Van when he saw the golden band that encircled her third finger.
Of course.
Hitomi had told him that she had gotten married. It had been only natural that she would. He recalled that she had told him about a year after his first son was born. But since she never mentioned it again, Van had forgotten about it.
He glanced at the golden ring that was placed on his own hand.
It had been a cruel twist of Fate that he couldn't have wed Hitomi. He knew that he had been asking too much of her, asking her to leave her family when they needed her the most. He often cursed his position and all it entailed. To be king meant to put his people before himself, which in his case meant that he had to give up his one true love.
Hitomi's soft breathing tickled his skin and brought a smile to his face. He carefully pulled out of his pocket the ring with the Fanelian insignia that belonged to Sezarina.
Van gently removed Hitomi's own wedding ring and replaced it with the royal one. He wanted to pretend, even just for this moment in time, that his wishes had been granted and have Hitomi bear a ring that he had given to her. He wanted to believe that this was their life: waking up every morning in each other's arms. Hitomi unconsciously closed her hand over his and held on to him as he closed his eyes.
And for that glorious moment in time, Van was completely happy.
Hitomi had the rare feeling of being completely content as her mind drifted away from its unconscious state. She opened her eyes to find herself in her bed, fully dressed and leaning against someone who smelt of open fields.
She lifted her head to look into the face of Van Fanel.
Her eyes went wide and she sat up and covered her open mouth with her hand after letting out a gasp.
"I thought you had been a dream," she whispered.
Van gave her a small smile, cupping her face in his hands. "You were a dream for years. But now you're here. And I can't imagine anything else I could want."
She smiled back at him, her eyes once again filling with tears, as he squeezed her hand.
She winced in response and his eyebrows furrowed. "What's the matter?"
"My hand…" she trailed off looking down at the thin but obviously painful gash that covered the back of her right hand from her first knuckle to her wrist.
"Who did this?" he asked in concern and building anger at who would hurt her.
She giggled as she felt his thoughts. "You did," she said with a small smile.
Van's eyes went wide. "When?"
"Yesterday, remember? It doesn't hurt that much," she said with a smile. She brought her hand up to touch the back of his head, "And I hope I didn't hurt you too much."
Van narrowed his eyes, but a smile tugged at his lips. "You played dirty. You aren't supposed to knock people on the back of the head while having a sparring match."
Hitomi shrugged, "You were being stubborn, I had to do something."
"I must say you're very good," Van commented. "But you knew I was going to beat you."
"Be quiet!" she laughed lightly slapping his arm. "I could have beat you."
"No, you couldn't," he whispered to her, his expression now serious, reaching up to caress her face.
She looked into his ruby eyes and felt herself become entrapped within them. The amount of emotions flowing from him overwhelmed her, as if his soul was wordlessly reaching out to hers.
Her rational mind was screaming at her to get away from him before she gave in to her desires, before…
Their faces were so close, Hitomi could feel his breath on her cheeks. She closed her eyes as she felt his lips close in over hers. It was the most wonderful feeling that could ever exist and she promptly moved to kiss him back.
Van slid his hand behind her head and deepened the kiss. She ran her hands along his chest, sending electric shock to his system. He moved his tongue over her lips, requesting access which she gladly granted.
She was on her knees, pushing him back against the wall at the head of the bed, molding her body as closely as she could to his. She smiled lightly as she got the reaction she had expected.
As their tongues played tag with each other, Van wanted Hitomi closer to him, his arms around her keeping them locked in a tight embrace. He wasn't thinking at all, as if all normal functions of his brain had been melted away by his love's fiery touch. He couldn't get enough of her, doing what he could to make up for so many lost years of separation from her. Desire grew inside of him and soon he let his instincts take over, boldly letting his hands roam her body, to which she did not protest.
Since they both needed to surface for oxygen, Van removed his mouth from hers, breathing heavily, but he proceeded to brush his lips over her collarbone, making her shiver. As he administered to her neck and shoulders, she weaved her fingers in his hair, relishing in his touch.
Hitomi was taking rapid intakes of air as she looked up to the ceiling. In her head a thousands of thoughts were running a million miles per hour so that she couldn't register anything but the feel and the taste of Van.
He brought his lips upon hers once again, this time ravenously taking her in.
She unconsciously slid her hands over his chest, feeling him react to her touch. They were lost in one another, each their worlds and their problems obliterated from existence by the mere presence of the other. This was the effect of their deep affection and love.
Van broke from her lips, but continued administering attention to her neck and collarbone, enjoying her reaction to it. He had already been hard at work, his hands had sliding beneath her shirt and he was pushing both of them down on the bed. She could feel his body telling her he was ready to go much further and she couldn't have been more willing to comply…
But as soon as her head touched the bed, everything stopped.
Somehow, Hitomi's thoughts had come to a screeching halt on a single thought: marriage.
What she wouldn't give to be married to Van.
But she wasn't.
Hitomi abruptly pushed him away and slipped out from under him, letting him fall face first into the sheets.
She had to get away from him, so she walked across the room, near the door, running her hands through her hair. She took deep breaths, attempting to bring down the rush of her hormones and to shut up her body that screamed for the touch of love. She readjusted her pants and haphazardly closed her shirt, hoping that the movements would help her regain control of herself.
A startled Van pushed himself up to give Hitomi a look of confusion. He could hear her heavy breathing, and silently wondered what had happened. He tried to enter her mind, but found that she had blocked him off. He was confused…until his brain finally began to function properly once again. He finally realized the situation in which they found themselves in and what could have happened if Hitomi had not reacted first and stopped him. He was ashamed of himself for letting his feelings run away with him without taking in consideration in what position both he and Hitomi were in. They both had spouses, and even though Sezarina had often told Van that he did not have to be faithful to her, Van didn't want to put Hitomi in the situation in which she would be unfaithful to her husband. His mind was screaming for him to leave the room before he did something stupid, but his heart wanted to stay near Hitomi and never let her out of his sight ever again. So it was that this debate simply made him remain petrified where he was.
The door of the room suddenly burst open, startling the couple as they looked to their intruder.
"Iri-sama! I can't find—'' Ero stopped in mid-sentence as he took in what he had just stumbled into.
"Nevermind… I found him," he said as his eyes fell upon the King of Fanelia who was sitting on Irishiko's bed, disheveled and silent.
Ero focused his gaze on Irishiko who was in a similar state of disarray. His mind calmed his raging heart as it registered that they were both fully clothed and separate from each other.
"I hope I wasn't interrupting anything," Ero said rather bitterly as he noticed Irishiko's lips were slightly swollen and something he'd never seen on her before…a light blush covering her cheeks that matched Van's.
Realizing that this situation was becoming more and more compromising by the minute, Irishiko squared her shoulders and did her best to hold Ero's gaze with her green eyes.
"It's not to say that an interruption would be unwelcome," she said in a steady voice. She knew that Ero had supposed the situation and, even though he was only half wrong, she was still aware that she had hurt him badly.
Ero, who still had his hand on the doorknob, nodded.
"I'm still sorry I intruded," he said in the same bitter tone. He formally bowed to Van, saying, "It won't happen again. I was merely coming to say that we should reach shore by this afternoon."
With that he exited, closing the door firmly behind him.
Irishiko shut her eyes and released a frustrated sigh. Things were not going the way she would have wanted.
There was an uncomfortable silence that hung in the air. Neither of the occupants of the room said anything, and didn't even move from their positions.
Then Van saw her straighten out her appearance and quickly pull on her boots.
"I have to go," she said, picking up her sword and quickly leaving the room.
The silence Van was left in was excruciating. As his mind slowly came back to life, questions began to form. How was it possible that Hitomi could be on Gaea without his knowledge of it? On top of that, why had she kept it concealed from him for so long?
The more he thought about it, the angrier he got. First he was angry at himself for not being able to recognize her even after three days of being very close to her. But moreover, he was angry at her. She had lied to him, and she'd been doing it for years with no apparent remorse. Was that the way to treat someone you claimed to love?
He wanted some answers, and he wasn't going to wait any more for them.
Van pulled his appearance together and left the room in search of Hitomi or Irishiko or whoever the hell she was.
~*~
TBC…
Okay…so it was what you thought it was. I just wanted to build the suspense. ^_^; please don't kill me. I find that I like living very much.
Baracuda here. What did you guys think?
Yeah, yeah, I know that most of you guessed that Irishiko was Hitomi way back in chapter one or two, and therefore making me wonder if I had made it too obvious…but now there's the difficult task of explaining why Irishiko is Hitomi. *sigh* got to get to work…..
Well, this fic is nearly over….only two or three chappies left. The end is near! I can't believe it! This will be the first time I've actually finished a series before! WOW!
CECE! BE PROUD OF ME….well not just yet…wait till I'm actually done…..^_^;
I want to thank all you wonderful reviewers! (your numbers are diminishing, but that's okay)
::huggle::
This was for you!
Tootles.
--Youjibaracuda
" ::Westley and Buttercup are surrounded by Prince Humperdink's soldiers::
Humperdink: Surrender!
Westley: You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept."
---The Princess Bride