Conversations and Observations Chapter One Part 2 – The Light of the Soul
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Author Notes:
Howdy boys and girls. PitViper here - this chapter will have much more 'Meat' to it…
Rei [Impassive look]: I dislike meat.
Author [Shrugs]: Figure of speech.
Rei [Questioning look]: May I speak?
Author [Confused]: O…Ok.
Rei [Nods, Looks to audience]: Many were confused at my… dislike of the Author's action of posting before he said he would. While I realize that this is not disconcerting to you, he did not fulfill his promise. Besides, PitViper's willingness to post the interlude so quickly means he now has less buffer to prepare the rest of the chapters. I was not angry with the author; I simply dislike those who cannot maintain their word. [Looks at Author] You may speak now.
Author [blinks]: Okaaay.
The little interludes with Rei (Gosh darn it! I really like her) are meant mostly as humor. Sorry if it disturbed you.
Rei [Stern look]: I am the Ayanami Rei in the Author's mind. I was formed by his observations of me, just as I help to form his observations of self. [Pauses for a moment] Therefore, other Ayanami Rei's may differ.
Author [Shakes head]: Well, onward with the fic. Please remember to review – I'm asking for it! :)
Thanks,
PitViper
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Monday Morning - Day 1.
Ayanami's eyes shot wide open. Despite the darkness now engulfing her room, her mind told her that this was the time she needed to get up this morning. The previous evening had been… distracting. Yet, her internal clock had been accustomed to this kind of setting. Her hand instinctively reached out to attempt to shut off the impending alarm, but something was different about this morning than the others. Something impeded the motion of her hand.
Panic struck Ayanami for exactly three seconds. The first second, she realized that she was very warm - much warmer than she had ever been before. Not intimate warmth or emotional warmth, but actual, physical heat. She was practically sweating under whatever was generating this inferno.
The next second allowed her realization that this warmth was being generated by a body - a body that was pinning her arm that nominally would shut off the impending alarm clock before it could ring. During this second, she realized that she had about thirty more before the alarm clock would trigger. She heard a tick from the mechanical device, as a breath of hot air brushed over her neck.
The third second brought realization that, because of the proximity of the body, its AT-Field and hers were interacting. She could physically and mentally feel the presence of the individual. Perhaps it was this almost telepathic response that saved the life of the hapless form lying on top of her. The AT-Field was calming her; as though it had sensed her despair and suddenly wanted to do anything it could to relieve it. The calming and soothing waves being generated by this person were flooding over her at this proximity. The last part of this second allowed her to come to the realization of exactly who it was embracing her.
It was an embrace, after all. It was not the type of thing that an intruder would ever be able to do. Ayanami's senses would have immediately detected - and automatically decimated - any intruder who managed to get close enough to interact with her AT-Field. As it was, the light of this soul was invited and permitted this intimate position. She, lacking the ability to do anything else at this moment, returned the tight embrace fully, causing the individual in question, to turn slightly.
That turn, allowed Ayanami's arm a slight freedom of movement. She calculated, taking a quick glance at the mechanical alarm clock, that she had exactly six seconds left to accomplish the task. Her arm reached out, taking the final four seconds to hit the stopper on the top of the alarm.
As the clock turned to 5:00am, Rei sighed in the silent room, her breathing synchronized with the individual laying on top of her. She luxuriated in that warmth, allowing herself a few seconds to deeply observe this individual with every sense that she had.
"Complete." She whispered. This moment was what she truly sought in life. She wanted this moment to last forever, but knew that it would not and could not. But the anticipation of the next moment was already beginning to form in her mind. She forced herself not to see beyond that next moment. 'No need to jump too far into the future. Take care of the present. It is time to get up.'
She looked at Shinji's eyelids and saw the rapid movement there. Her few seconds of panic had caused some of the sleep-calm that had been on his face to disappear, but it was rapidly returning as Rei observed him sedately. 'He cares; even in his sleep he is able to sense when others are disturbed.' She noted. She sent a reassuring wave of warmth back through their touch and was rewarded with a small smile. She returned it. "A kiss," She whispered very softly. "You have given me this, and I am eternally grateful."
"Kiss…" Shinji muttered the smile still there on his face. "Like better… than… as-ka." He twitched, "Like Rei. Warm."
Rei sensed that he was beginning to come out of the dream. She immediately brought her lips to his, the delicate touch stirred him. As he eagerly entered the kiss with Rei, his eyes came open suddenly. They both ended it at the same time - fortunately without panic.
"Morning, Shin-chan…" Rei stated with a small smile.
"Morning, Rei-chan…" Shinji replied, blinking his eyes, "Must be dreaming."
"Remove the cover, and find out." Rei suggested lightly.
His eyes blinked again as he followed through with the suggestion. The cool air from the apartment suddenly reminded him of exactly how much heat could be generated by two human bodies in close proximity and how much heat the air in an apartment at 5:00am lacked. His eyes narrowed on Rei.
"It is time to get up, Shin-chan. It is Five O'clock."
"F-Five… in the morning?" He questioned. 'Just another half-hour, Please!'
Rei nodded. "Do you wish Asuka to find you like this? Or do you wish Misato-san to come looking for you?"
"Well, at least Misato-san will think that I slept in my own bed, for at least part of the night, because I must have tossed and turned for an hour before I came to see you."
"In any case, it is the time I have chosen to begin my day while rooming with Asuka." Rei replied. "Perhaps you would care to help me with breakfast?"
"H-help?" Shinji stared at her.
"Hikari-kun showed me a little while preparing dinner last night. Although dinner would be inappropriate at this time of the morning, I am sure some of the basics still apply, do they not, Shin-chan?" Rei asked a quirky smile tugging at the edge of her lips.
Shinji simply nodded.
"Good. You return to your apartment, and prepare yourself for the morning. I will prepare myself for this morning - as I assume that I should bathe before Asuka. Remember, Shinji-kun, you still have school today."
"I was hoping that you wouldn't remind me, Rei." Shinji said.
"Why?" Rei asked. "It is truth."
"Yes, it is. It is one of those truths which a person would be tempted to argue as being 'unpleasant.'"
Rei blinked at him, before smiling genuinely, "As we are a truth that you would be tempted to argue as being 'pleasant'?"
"Was not this morning, pleasant, Rei-chan?" Shinji asked quietly.
"It was very pleasant." She replied.
"I thought so too. It is what I would wish." Shinji said.
Rei smiled. "I wish for it as well. I want that moment again." She looked longingly at him.
"I wish we could… But that is not entirely up to us." Shinji said, his smile disappearing.
Rei's smile, too, vanished. "I know."
"It does not mean that it will not happen again." Shinji said.
"It is pain." Rei said. "I don't…"
"I know." Shinji said. "I tried to warn you…"
"Not knowing would have been worse pain. It would have been emptiness. I don't want emptiness." Rei countered. "Regret… I understand it now. I would have regretted not asking for your kiss last night. It would have paralyzed me…"
"There is more…" Shinji said, being interrupted by Rei.
"That I know as well. I will not let anything happen to you, Shin-chan."
"You can't stop it if its fate." Shinji said. "I… I… would rather you lived if it came down to it than me."
"I can be replaced…" Rei said.
'NEVER!' Shinji almost screamed, but decided that he should try to keep the conversation quiet. "I could not look at a shell that pretended to be you." Shinji stated. "She, no matter what methods my father uses, would not be you. You are unique, Rei-chan. I love only you."
Tears formed in Rei's eyes. "Again, Shin-chan, I cry." A few sobs escaped, "I cannot live without you."
"Then you must learn - Rei. You cannot simply live for me: that would be wrong."
"But…" Rei tried.
"I will not accept a doll." Shinji stated, and heard Rei's sharp inhalation. Shinji did not even flinch as Rei's hand connected with his face.
Tears were flowing even more freely now, but Shinji remained resolute. "Don't you see, Rei? I love you. I know you are not a doll. So why would I be willing to accept you as such? I would be no better than my father. Perhaps if I were to put on his glasses, and stare at you…"
At this Rei moved from the bed forcefully, and went to her dresser. She pulled out a glasses case and threw it at him. "Then put them on!" She commanded forcefully. "I do not have any LCL for you to stare at me through, though!"
"These… are… were… his?" Shinji asked incredulously.
"Yes." Rei hissed.
"Is that what you wish, Ayanami? For me to be my father?" Shinji asked, all emotion gone from his voice.
She suddenly stared at him agape. "I…"
"Do you want him to be staring at you? Whispering sweet nothings in your ear? To control you, to guide you, to manipulate you? Him? The man you told me no longer has your respect. Simply say it, and it will be as you wish. I, the puppet master, will control: I will betray him, kill him, and take his place so that you and I can play our parts. I as him, you as… the doll Ayanami." Shinji said sadly, opening the case and beginning to remove the glasses.
Rei began to cry again. "I could manipulate your genetics. Make you sick. Get you killed. Bring you back again. Over and over and over." Shinji said coldly. "I could become him in a second. After all, I am his son. Is that what you want?"
Rei collapsed to her knees.
"If I were my father… what would I do? I would need someone else - someone who was brilliant and intelligent to manipulate along with you. Someone who wouldn't mind having sex during those times you couldn't… I know!" Shinji snapped his fingers, "I could take Asuka. She would be perfect. With a little more college time, she'd be able to help me. I could soil her, and make her half insane, think that she wasn't worthy of better. Then I could have sex with her when you would be incapacitated. Yes, a perfect pawn."
"S-Stop," Ayanami stuttered, shivering at the inconceivable change in Shinji's attitude and demeanor. She suddenly realized the grotesque depth of the similarity between Shinji and Gendo. 'He is… there. I see Gendo in him - I do not wish to see this further.' "Please, Shin-chan, no."
"Shin-chan?" Shinji asked with a smirk, "Who is he? I'm Gendo now. Isn't that who you wanted?" He was mere inches from having the glasses on his face.
"I want Shinji." Rei stated, barely a whisper.
"Do you want to live?" Shinji asked, "A doll doesn't want to live. Only a doll could want my father."
"I-I want Shinji." She stated again.
"I asked you, do you wish to live?" He asked again.
"Yes." Rei replied. And suddenly she realized that she meant it.
"Don't you understand, Rei?" Shinji asked. "I need to know that if something should happen to me, that you will continue. Do you think that you could find another who you love?"
"You are the only one I could ever love" She said.
"But, if I were gone. If Ikari Shinji were no more, could you keep on going - knowing that the possibility that there was another who could make you feel like that? Could you consider the possibility of another whom you could love?"
"I do not want to find that possibility." Rei stated, shivering on the floor.
"I love you, Ayanami." Shinji said, laying the glasses back down. "But, I must know that if for some reason I should… be gone… that you would be able to continue. For if our love continues on this path, there will be more to us than just us."
Rei's exotic crimson eyes pierced him with a questioning glance.
"The mother of my children must never feel that she can simply abandon them." Shinji said. "My mother never abandoned me. Not even when she disappeared in unit one. She has tried to cling to life, and I have felt her there protecting me in Eva. I expect the same of you, if your wish is for me to be Ikari Shinji."
"Your children…" Rei said wistfully.
"Hai. That is the depth of my love for you. It is why I wish to take things slowly, carefully. For if we get caught up in it too quickly, we will let those who believe that our 'truth' is wrong know our intentions towards each other." Shinji smiled, "And… I want to know that you will not simply exist after I am gone because of a promise to live. I want you to live Ayanami. To teach our children how to live, and for you to live life to its fullest. That is what I want you to do."
"Leave me." Rei stated flatly. "Go."
"W-what?" Shinji asked aghast.
"Go. Leave. Now," She stated more forcefully.
"Why?" Confusion was evident in the younger Ikari's voice.
"Leave."
"No."
"Why?" Rei asked, unbelieving.
"Love. I love you, Rei."
"It is pointless." Rei said without emotion.
"That's not true."
"You want children?" Rei asked.
Shinji looked at her oddly, "Of course. Not right away but…"
"Then leave. I cannot give you that which you desire."
"What, Rei?"
"I will guide Asuka into my role." Rei said flatly.
"No!"
"I must - for I cannot fulfill you. I cannot make you complete."
"That isn't everything. This is mutual. I love you. You love me. There are other ways!"
Rei blinked. "I cannot bear young."
"Why?"
"That was the way I was designed. I am sterile." Rei stated sadly.
"That's impossible."
"It was the way I was designed."
"Do you have periods?"
"Yes."
"Then there's a chance. I paid some attention in Sex-ed." Shinji said.
"But, Doctor Akagi told me…"
"Did she check specifically?"
"No."
"You ovulate?"
"Obviously," Her eyes looking at him as though he were daft. 'I menstruate, therefore I ovulate.' Rei's logic echoed in her mind.
"Then there's a chance." Shinji stated flatly.
"But…"
"If not, then we adopt." Shinji smiled.
"Adopt?" Rei echoed.
"Even in this day and age, there are still families who do not expect children - who either cannot or will not support them. We can adopt a child. It may not be ours genetically, but we're capable of love just the same." Shinji stated.
"A chance," Rei said. "I would stare… I visited the base infirmary often. I would go to the nursery. There were not many ever there, two or three, but so full of life! I enjoyed it, until Commander Ikari forbade me from going there."
"My father, forbade you from going to the nursery?" Shinji asked, aghast.
Rei nodded, "'Children are not for those who are not meant to bear them,' He told me."
A low growl erupted from Shinji, "I'll kill him." It wasn't the first time the thought had crossed his mind.
"Shinji…" Rei admonished. 'I believe he would.'
"He had no right. To a young girl, no less - one just coming into her own as a woman… to tell that… to destroy a dream before it began. I don't know how my father can be so evil." Shinji stated. 'Father, why are you this way? Could my mother have actually loved such a beast? Mother… help me to see him as you do… to understand.' His thoughts trailed off as Ayanami spoke.
"It was true." Rei said.
"A lie!" Shinji countered, "Designed you to be sterile? HA! They can't control life to that level, Ayanami. If they could, Eva wouldn't be what Eva is! They would have designed Eva differently. I know what they did there, its impossible not to realize it: A fifty foot -human- god."
"Then you realize. Eva and I. At least Unit 01 and I, we come from the same place." She said softly. "We are both of the flesh of that which is Lilith."
"Lilith, the first Angel," Shinji said. "They… they thought that it was Adam at first, didn't they?" He watched as Rei nodded in assent.
"Imagine his surprise when his clones came out to be female, instead of male." Ayanami said softly. "It wasn't until I was created that he realized. I am of the Mother."
"And you believe that they could engineer life to that degree, Rei-chan?" He nodded his head back and forth, "There is only one way they could make you sterile, and be sure of it - to do a tubal ligation or hysterectomy. Then they could be sure." Shinji said, "No recent surgeries, other than to repair battle damage, right?"
"I would remember." Ayanami stated confidently.
"Then…" Shinji started.
"Then I might…" Rei said with hope in her eyes.
"You might - We might. Nothing is certain. If not, there are alternatives." Shinji muttered.
Rei looked at the clock in the corner of the room. "We have spent ten minutes on this alone. We should not waste so much time."
"Was it a waste? Do you understand what I want, and what you want? And what that means to us?" Shinji asked.
"I will learn to live." Rei said.
"I will help you learn, Rei-chan." Shinji said. "I don't plan on leaving so soon."
"Will we share another moment?" Rei asked hopefully.
Shinji smiled, "Yes. That much I do know, unless something happens to one of us before the sun rises again tomorrow."
"One promise, Shin-chan?" Rei asked.
"Yes?"
"Never become… him." She asked. "For my sake, this I beg of you."
"I am not my father. He is here, though," Shinji held his hand to his heart, "I cannot avoid that. Part of what makes him, makes me. It cannot be avoided."
"Truth." Rei said sadly.
"But, there is another here," Shinji kept his hand on his heart. "She also makes me. My mother is here. I keep her close to my heart. My father's heart is cold, frozen. My mother's heart is fire and heat. I am the balance. Her flame burns beside my heart and keeps it warm. His calmness and intelligence tempers the burning will my mother gave me, stopping me from lashing out and hurting others. Although, I still hurt others… it is not my intention…"
"I believe that is not true, Shin-chan." She said, moving to him, and placing her hand on his heart, "Your mother gave you her heart, which burns like fire. You feel others through her eyes that she gave you, and see others suffering. You are that which gives warmth, that which is life. I… I love your mother for that. No part of him." She pointed to his heart, "Is here. I… I know he is a part of you, but this heart will keep him at bay."
"I… It… was painful to do that to you, Ayanami. But I had to make you see. You are more than just a friend. I love you, Rei-chan."
"I know." She said, moving to the door. "Let us begin the day."
-
Shinji walked purposefully back into Misato's apartment, and quickly went to the kitchen to grab some things that he knew Rei didn't have. As he rounded the corner to enter the kitchen, however, he saw a most unusual sight - Misato staring at an unopened can of beer.
"M-Misato-san?" Shinji ventured, earning the gaze of his superior and guardian.
"Morning, Shin-chan. Sleep well? Or at all?" She asked.
'She's sober,' was the thought that went through Shinji's mind. "I did sleep. I had to give Rei her necklace first."
"I know. I was up when you left at midnight." She replied. "I've been staring at this beer since fifteen minutes after you left. Waiting."
"Uh. I did stay with Rei…"
"I know." Misato sighed.
"Nothing happened, I swear it."
"I know that too. Otherwise I would have killed you myself." She replied evenly.
"She's alone, Misato." Shinji said. "She was afraid."
"So was Asuka." Misato countered. 'I understand it, though.'
"I have made my choice." Shinji stated boldly.
"I think I knew that too." Misato said, looking at the beer.
"I love her." Shinji declared.
"You love them both. You just have to decide when and how the other gets hurt. Asuka won't stop until she's been defeated."
"I know that as well." Shinji said.
"It will destroy her." Misato looked into his eyes.
"It would destroy them both. Either one. One will be complete, the other, hurt. I cannot escape the pain I cause. I will not run from this. That would only hurt them both."
"I know." Misato said.
"Misato-san. Thank you, for last night. For not doing anything."
"I was waiting, Shinji, to hear the sound of you falling from the balcony at Asuka's hand. Don't you know what a dangerous position you've put yourself in?" She looked at the beer. "Then I got into a staring match with this can. You know what, I think it won. I don't want to look at it anymore."
"Misato-san?"
"I'm done drinking, Shinji. The only thought that ran through my head last night was, 'I have to stay sober in case anything happens.'" She looked down at her steady hand, "I… I don't know how… I was never able to do it before… but tonight… waiting for what I thought was inevitable… I stayed completely sober. I… I… I never made it through a night before without this crutch, especially a night alone."
"I use my feet, you use that can… we both run away when the pain becomes too great. I have chosen to stop running, Misato. Have you stopped running as well?" He asked.
"When did you become so wise?" She asked him, looking at him.
"Since I started sleeping with Angels," He said sheepishly.
Misato smirked. "So how was it? Sleeping with Ayanami?"
"Warm." Shinji smiled. "I could wake up every day in her embrace. I did not wish to leave. I'm certain that she felt the same."
Misato looked at him, "I am… glad… no… happy… yes. You deserve warmth, Shinji-kun."
"Uh… thanks…"
"That said I have to play the role of guardian now." She said with a perfectly calm voice, and then burst out in anger, "WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING YOUNG MAN!"
Shinji backed away, wide eyed, "M-mi-Misato-saa…"
"I ASKED YOU A DIRECT QUESTION. DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED I WAS? HUH? DO YOU THINK THAT I LIKE STAYING UP ALL HOURS OF THE NIGHT!!!"
Shinji became a small ball, forced into a tiny corner of the Apartment.
"ANSWER ME!"
"Stop," Commanded a calm voice from the doorway.
Ikari was a nervous wreck at the corner of the hallway.
"AYANAMI!" Misato yelled, swirling on the blue haired girl who had somehow found her way into the apartment, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN HERE!"
"Protecting Shinji-kun," She stated, her eyes narrowing.
"Really? Huh! Some protector you are. Imagine if Asuka had caught you, she would have drop-kicked the both of you halfway to China!"
"She could not attack us. I would not permit it." Rei said without emotion.
"You think that you could stand up to an insane Asuka!?!" Misato asked incredulously. 'Why is she doing this? Would she…' Misato looked into the fiery orbs that were Ayanami's eyes. She saw something terrible there. 'She would. She would kill anyone… any thing that would try to harm Shinji.'
"I could stand up to an Angel, Misato-san. Yes, I could stand up to Asuka. I would not like doing it. I would attempt to do so without seriously injuring her, but I would do it." She blinked at the Major. "I have done it."
Suddenly she was aware that Ayanami was indeed telling the truth. That incident was what started this entire cascade event. "Why?"
"I love Shin-chan." Rei said calmly, but with warmth.
"You're just fifteen, Rei. What do you know about love?" Misato asked. She watched opened jaw as Rei simply walked over to the now confused Shinji and gathered him in her arms, and kissed him softly on his lips. After a few moments, he returned the embrace, resting his head on her shoulder.
"I am both younger than fifteen, and older than your history." Rei said challengingly, "I still do not know what love is, but I know that this warmth is something I want to feel. My definition of the word 'Love' is based on warmth. I will protect this feeling. It is what I want." She stroked Shinji's hair calmly. "Why did you yell at him? It was wrong, Misato-san. You have injured him."
"What?" Misato asked.
"He is in pain." Rei replied, holding his head.
"Wha… It's what parents do when their children don't do what their supposed to. He has to learn discipline."
"Perhaps you should take a course in what you teach. Then tell me if you like it." Rei said angrily.
"Now look here, young lady…" Misato started toward the blue haired girl, and was immediately thrown back by an orange hexagonal field.
The AT-Field that was externalized was extremely weak and extremely brief. It was all she could throw up without alerting the Magi. "The barrier of my soul defends both Shinji and me. He is permitted entry. You are not."
Misato shook her head, 'An AT-Field. From Rei?'
"From both of us, Misato - I am healing the damage you caused Shinji." Rei said. "His soul is very strong, and very powerful. But to those he cares for intensely, he is very vulnerable. You are someone he cares for. Your yelling frightened him."
"It was meant to!" Misato practically screamed. "He spent the night in a girl's bed, for Christ sakes. Boys his age should not be doing that." 'At least they should attempt to hide doing it!'
"I was there. And what boys his age should and should not be doing… he was a perfect gentleman all night. The suggestion was mine. If anyone will receive a lecture, it is me."
"He'll get the wrong idea about women, Ayanami. I don't want him using you for sex!"
Ayanami speared Misato with a stare, "You know Shin-chan. Be honest with yourself, for I already know the truth. Shin-chan would NEVER DO THAT! His father, perhaps, but he is not his father." She sighed, as she felt him returning to normal, "Shin-chan and I will become one. It will not happen tonight, or tomorrow. But soon. I love him, he loves me. Until we both decide on a time, he will not betray that trust."
"His word?" Misato asked. 'Its only been a few days, hasn't it?'
"I am more tempted to break our vow than he." Rei spat back.
"Now that worries me." Misato said. 'She wants him.'
"It shouldn't. You should feel happy, Misato-san. Shinji-kun has a soul-mate. I have chosen him as mine. We know together what is right for us. You are not a part of the decision." She said forcefully. 'Especially if you hurt him.'
"Now I am your commanding officer. I order you to stay away from Shinji."
Rei snapped into another mode. "I cannot comply with that order, Major."
"Insubordination?" Misato forced out.
"Mutiny," Rei stated boldly.
"You wouldn't dare. That… that's grounds for immediate termination." Misato said.
"The only ones who would be terminated would be the executioners." Rei stated coldly.
"I could send Unit 02 after you." Misato said, not really wanting to threaten the child.
"Unit 01 would protect Shinji, as I would. Asuka would not succeed."
"The JSSDF…" Misato started.
"Conventional firepower is useless against an AT-Field."
"Asuka would neutralize it." Misato countered.
"And lose all three of your pilots?"
"If necessary. Whatever it takes to defeat the enemy."
"Then the Eighteenth Angel is your enemy then?" Rei asked.
"All the angels are our enemy!"
"Then you are your own enemy. For the Eighteenth Angel is humanity."
"What?!?"
"You are the Eighteenth angel. You… humanity. Shattered from God in the First Impact. The left-over pieces. At least according to legend." Rei said calmly, Shinji almost asleep in her arms.
"Then…"
"Yes." Rei replied.
"We are fighting ourselves."
"You are being tested now. If you fail, you are destroyed. But because the only way you know to deal with Angels is to destroy them, you will destroy yourselves - through instrumentality. A vicious cycle, yes Major?" Rei said coldly.
"I… I…"
"Shinji and I know the answer. It is within us. Although I understand it more than he does - he perceives it only on a basal level, subconscious. Yet he will be the catalyst."
"And you… the Mother?"
"I am the source." Rei stated quietly, "My original intent."
"What else?"
"Asuka - She is the buffer," Rei informed the purple-haired major.
"And this means, What?"
"Trinity."
"What?"
"We can form a trinity. We can synchronize with each other. The formation of the Trinity would signal the end of the test. And the end would occur without instrumentality. Unfortunately, we would still need to find a way to prevent the Ceremony of Red Earth - the ceremony would bring the end upon us all, and reset the cycle to the beginning."
"Trinity? As in 'Holy Trinity?'"
"It is the goal of the test." Rei stated.
"You mean that you knew this the whole time, we could have ended this before a single Angel landed on this god-forsaken planet?"
"God has not forsaken this world. His stewards have. His protectors now test the stewards to see if they are worthy inheritors, or if the cycle must begin again."
"Who is God?" Misato asked.
"I do not know." Rei said. "I remember nothing from my past. This is just what I was taught by Commander Ikari."
"Why did he not choose the Trinity?" Misato mumbled.
"SEELE wishes for the Ceremony of Red Earth - to cleanse the world and bring them to instrumentality under their rule. They fail to see it will only repeat the cycle. Commander Ikari wishes for control of instrumentality so he may be united with that which he seeks."
"And that is?"
"His wife," Rei stated purposefully.
"How long would this Trinity thingy take?"
"I need one week to work with Asuka and Shinji. Considering who and what they are, they should be naturally inclined to accomplish this. It could be passed off as Synchronization training." Rei suggested.
"Why did you not do this sooner, Ayanami?" Misato asked the young clone.
"Before yesterday, I had no will to live."
-
Ritsuko watched Ikari as he sat with his hands steepled at his desk. "SEELE's timetable hangs over us." The Commander said softly.
"You continue to profess to Fuyutsaki that your own timetable is proceeding well." Ritsuko countered. "Unless you are just bluffing a plan."
Gendo smirked behind his hands, "I have a scenario. It is simply not the one that Yui, he, and I had originally planned. That is why I keep him in the dark."
"You are obsessed." Ritsuko challenged.
Gendo's smirk disappeared, as he lowered his hands, "And you care?"
"Not in the slightest." Ritsuko replied. 'At least not any more.'
"I could not have proceeded so far without you." Gendo added.
Ritsuko smirked, "Men don't often appreciate the women in their lives. Without us, nothing would be done."
"At least not the important things." Gendo replied. "How does the dummy system proceed?"
"Programming is… unstable." Ritsuko said. "Fully sixty percent of the emotional factor is unknown."
"How about the reaction and control factors?"
"Nominal. We have determined that the system would react at over ninety percent efficiency. Considering the source and Eva, we expect an initial synchronization of thirty to forty percent." Ritsuko reported.
"That is too low." Gendo stated coldly.
Ritsuko sighed, "The emotional factor, Commander. It will confuse the interlink. As I said, given more time, and more detailed interaction with Ayanami - perhaps a week long session in the tank - we could eliminate at least forty percent of the unknown emotional factor."
Gendo nodded. "I do not want duplicates of Ayanami, doctor. I want a useable and reliable dummy system."
"I would trust Ayanami duplicates more for the job." Ritsuko countered. "In the condition the dummy system is in now, I have no clue what the system would do upon activation. I cannot predict how the interlink would perceive the Eva - let alone the enemy."
"Given what the dummy system was taken from, I can feel quite confident that it would be able to easily and clearly identify the enemy." Gendo said, his hands once again moving to his face.
"How can you be so sure?" Ritsuko asked.
"Imagine having something nail you to a giant red cross then sealing you in an underground chamber for all eternity? Tell me you would not remember your enemies?"
"But Ayanami…"
"Ayanami was raised as a human being. She has chosen to forget what she was. Although she does remember, she holds that shame within."
"Do your scrolls tell you this?" Ritsuko asked.
Gendo pushed up his glasses, "The scrolls are stories that were passed down from the victors. Remember, History is written by the winners, not the losers."
"So, the scrolls lie?"
"Hardly, they just represent a particular viewpoint. I am sure if we were to revive Lilith herself, she would have quite a different perspective on the history." Gendo said. "Unit four will begin testing Wednesday of this week. The Second Branch will be gone shortly after."
Ritsuko shuddered.
"Then we will receive Unit 03." Gendo added.
"You want me to prepare the dummy system for unit 03?" Ritsuko asked.
"It would not work nearly as well with Unit 03 as with Unit 01. No. You will prepare the dummy system and remote interface for Unit 01." Gendo instructed.
"And what of Unit 03. It will require a pilot." Ritsuko said.
"It shall have one."
"The Marduk report has found the fourth?" Ritsuko asked.
"Hardly. I will not trust that- SEELE's hands have been too deep within it."
"Then from where?"
"We will use the 2-A pilot reserves." Gendo smirk increased to a grin, visible despite his folded hands.
"Are you mad?" Ritsuko asked, looking at him as though he were insane. "Who… which one?" She finally asked, resigned.
"I give you the honor of choosing the pilot."
"Victim, you mean?"
"Your choice. Although that would mean choosing another to pilot."
"You want me to reset its core…using a…"
"Of course. The 2-A pool is what we shall use for pilots, not cores."
"Should I choose based on the pilot or the core?"
"I do not care. None of the remaining cores hold animosity to me in specific."
"They have probably degraded to the point where they no longer care." Ritsuko challenged.
"If the cores have degraded, then I hold you responsible for it. Perform a test on them. If the cores are not viable, then… we will remove the affected candidates from the school."
"You wouldn't." Ritsuko said shocked at the implication.
"At least I am not asking you to carry out the accidents."
"They are children…"
Gendo's broad smirk became a smile yet again, "They are tools. As you are, doctor. If the child does not have a compatible core, they serve no purpose to me. Things that serve no purpose have no right to exist."
"But…"
"Never forget, Doctor, that you too, are a tool. You serve an important purpose, and are for the time being - irreplaceable." Gendo replied.
"And your son?"
"He is simply a tool. If he cannot perform the function set before him, he is no different from the rest."
Ritsuko's face became placid. "You think that you could control Unit 01 with another?"
"She still accepts Rei. Therefore she will accept the dummy system." Gendo replied.
"That will not continue for long." Ritsuko muttered.
"Perhaps. It need only continue for as long as it takes to defeat the angels, or to convince Shinji that he must pilot. If he chooses to pilot, then I have no real purpose for the dummy system."
"And you would wipe them out?"
"They are more dangerous than the Angels." Gendo replied.
"You are a bastard, you know that Gendo?"
"I am but a product of SEELE's plan."
"No. You are a product of the Devil himself." Ritsuko challenged.
"What does that make you?"
"Damned."
Gendo laughed coldly at that. "Indeed it does."
-
Asuka stared at Ayanami. "This is stupid. We should be learning how to breach NERV security. Not playing mind games with the Doll."
Rei stared at Asuka from the corner of her eyes, "What will it take to convince you that I intend to be your friend."
"Sorry." Asuka said. "It's… Nothing."
"It's everything." Ayanami countered, "Friendship is important."
"I… Suppose." Asuka said, resigned to the fact.
Shinji smiled at Rei, "I guess… Misato-san thought it important enough to involve me. I am glad I don't have to listen to Sensei rant about second impact."
"We will have more work to do. Class Representative Hokari will be brining us that which we miss this week." Rei looked at him.
"And it won't be as bad as having to sit through it, though." Shinji muttered. "And you should call her 'Hikari', if you are friends."
"Concentrate, Ikari-kun." Rei said, bringing their focus back to the task at hand.
Misato stood in the distance watching Rei lead the other two Children in the activity.
Rei began softly. "Concentrate." She instructed. "Your mind is afloat on a calm ocean of water. Your body gently moves with the slight ripples that exist there. These ripples are from those who float with you."
Shinji had finally relaxed. "I… I feel something. Little… waves… Warm…"
"Now, send a ripple out yourself." Rei instructed, "A gentle, firm ripple."
Shinji concentrated. "I…"
Asuka's eyes popped open, "Who touched me!" She exclaimed. "I felt something on my shoulder."
Rei smiled, "Shinji-kun touched you." She had felt his ripple as well.
"BAKA!" She screamed.
"No, Asuka. It was the touch of his soul, not his physical form." Rei admonished. "Don't you realize that?"
"Huh?"
"Look at him. Misato-san, please confirm for Asuka that Shinji did not physically move to touch anyone."
"Shinji's just been sitting there, meditating," She confirmed.
"That… I felt… like a hand, a finger. It touched me…"
"Where?" Rei asked.
"I-I can't tell where, exactly. It felt like my shoulder."
"Good, Shinji. I felt it as well. I had expected just a general feeling, but you know how to focus it already." Rei said proudly.
"I don't understand." Shinji said.
"Never-the-less, you did do it, Shinji-kun."
"H-hai." Shinji looked at Asuka, "Sorry."
"I-its.. alright, Shinji. I understand. How?"
"I sort of just reached out to tap the water in the direction of the waves. I felt one wave from my right front, and one from my left front. I tapped each direction, feeling the waves spread out."
"I see." Asuka said, and closed her eyes. "I want to be able to do this as well, Ayanami-kun."
Rei, smiling at Asuka. "Very well. Calm yourself again. It cannot be done if you are nervous. Just imagine the water. It is how I do it. You are floating on the water. I will send a ripple out. Tell me if you feel it."
Rei waited a few moments, as she attempted to ascertain Asuka's level of calm, and sent a gentle wave out from her soul.
The wave passed out, and gently nudged Asuka and Shinji.
Asuka giggled, "Was that?"
Shinji had a smile, "Hai. It was Ayanami. I saw… I saw her for a second when it was… I saw her in the water!"
"Good Asuka. It is the first step. And as for seeing me, Shinji, It seems you are more attuned to your soul than I thought."
Asuka was concentrating still. She had wanted to make a small wave like Shinji and Rei were. She brought her hand up, and forced it into the water sharply.
Misato blanched as she felt a wave of nausea roll over her. "Good god…"
Both Rei and Shinji, unprepared for the onslaught, doubled over in pain.
Asuka opened her eyes and saw the two children… "REI! SHINJI-KUN."
At the sound of his name, Shinji looked up, and immediately regretted it. "God… Umph…" His breakfast was suddenly on the floor before him.
Rei, too, had her eyes squished shut, tears coming from the edges. "Too… much…"
Misato made her way to the group. "What the hell was that?" She collapsed next to the two fallen Children.
"She… sent…" Rei tried.
"She slapped the water." Shinji managed, dry heaves racking his body.
"B-but I felt it." Misato argued. Asuka simply looked concerned.
Rei recovered some of her equanimity, "I… Asuka… For future reference: An AT-Field is not something to be taken lightly. You could have killed all of us."
"What? An AT-Field?" Asuka said incredulously, "From where?"
"Y-you. Asuka." Shinji managed, more dry heaves racking him.
"I-I…"
"I know, Asuka-kun." Rei said calmly. "You didn't know. I didn't want to frighten you, because when… you externalize an AT-Field, it drains your essence. We can do it in Eva with ease, yet from ourselves…. A human being must be taught how to manipulate the Light of the Soul. Most cannot externalize an AT-Field. The children capable of piloting Eva can, but it must be carefully taught."
"How… How did you know how to do this? If a human must be taught, and only the Children can do it, then how?" Misato asked Rei.
"For an Angel, it is instinct. We are not physical beings - not anymore, anyways. We are energy. We… cannot be destroyed unless our souls are disrupted utterly."
"When we killed those angels?" Shinji asked.
"They are not dead." Rei stated.
"Then what the hell is the point to all this?" Asuka asked.
"The test," Misato said.
"God would not let his messengers die so easily. To kill an angel, you must completely disrupt its AT-Field. Since that is what an angel is, the AT-Field is jealously defended. I… I am from an Angel. I know by instinct what must be done." Rei looked at Asuka. "The AT-Field is everything you refer to as ESP. Absolute Terror is only one of its manifold functions. We are lucky you visualized the energy you sent out as a smooth wave, although it was strong, it would not cause harm… other than nausea."
"I… I'm sorry." Asuka said. "I just wanted to… you know… do what Shinji did."
"And you did - only a thousand times stronger. You felt a finger on your arm because Shinji simply dipped his finger into the water. And he did it very delicately, I might add. Had you poked a finger into the water with the same force you slapped your hand, we would be… quite injured right now."
"Yeah, rather than a sucker punch, we'd have a hole in our stomachs." Shinji finally said. Misato blanched as Rei agreed with his assessment.
"You could have warned me…" Misato said gently, although inside she was very angry that her charges could have been seriously injured.
"I did not believe that they would catch on so quickly. At this pace, in a few more hours at most, we will be prepared to attempt a Trinary Synchronization." Rei informed Misato as Shinji got up to get some water, and some towels to clean up his mess.
"I see. Is it dangerous, the Trinity?" Misato asked.
Rei looked at Misato. "It has the power to prevent Third Impact. It is the opposite of the Ceremony of Red Earth. It is the Ceremony of Green Earth." She lowered her voice to a whisper, "Done incorrectly, it has the power to create an entire universe. For it is the Ceremony of Creation. It is the power that can shatter a God. It is the energy of Genesis. If such power is released uncontrolled upon the Earth, it will re-create everything."
"But if it's uncontrolled…" Misato started.
"It will destroy everything. Forever," Rei said.
"That would be bad." Asuka agreed.
"Indeed." Rei agreed.
"Then, I recommend extreme caution, Ayanami-kun." Misato said warily.
"Always, Misato-san" Rei replied.
"Why do it, if it is so dangerous?" Asuka asked, watching Shinji return.
"If we accomplish the Trinity, then we will have let the Angels know that we humans, " Rei smiled slightly, "Know the power of creation, not just destruction. The test will be over, because we will have the power to heal the land we have destroyed in our selfish pride."
"Then a Trinity… It could reverse the damage of Second Impact?" Asuka asked.
"Easily. But… It must be controlled with caution. You understand - this is the power of God." Rei said.
"Then we would be…" Shinji muttered.
"Gods. If all three agree, the Trinity has tremendous power. But the act must be done in unison. Without consensus, we cannot accomplish anything." Rei informed them.
"I see. We must be very careful. If we get control of the Trinity… We can't allow ourselves to become overwhelmed by the power of it. I don't want to be a God. That is too much power to abuse."
"And you think that I'd let you abuse it, Baka Shinji!" Asuka said with a smile. "We're going to have to agree before we do anything… I won't let you and your perverted mind go out there and change all the women's breast sizes…"
An unusually courageous Shinji asked, "Afraid I'd take you down a cup or two, Auska?"
She cringed, "You PERVERT!"
Shinji laughed.
"You'd probably inflate Rei's bust to astronomical proportions." Asuka accused.
"I revise my estimate. I'll need a thousand years before they'll be able to accomplish the Trinity." Rei stated flatly, but her eyes betrayed some of the humor she felt at the situation.
"We won't live that long." Shinji and Asuka said simultaneously.
"Are you sure?" Rei asked. "If Second Impact allowed you to be born and to accomplish synchronization, then it might have made other things… more Angel-like."
"But… you said you were mortal?"
"I am. I can die." Rei admitted. "I can be killed. I can get sick. But, will I age like a human, or will my genetic structure stabilize like an Angel's and prevent death by aging? I don't think anyone knows how long I'll live. I might have a year, I might have a billion." She looked at them, "And so may you. We don't know."
"How?" Misato asked.
"You are the Eighteenth Angel." She replied simply.
"By 'You' I assume you mean all humans are…"
"Correct, Misato-san." Rei agreed.
"I see." Misato said. "And me?"
"You were changed probably more than any of them," Rei's red eyes burrowed into Misato's.
"Could I pilot… Eva?" The major asked.
"I doubt it." Rei responded. "
"I… I would give anything to protect you kids from that, you know?" Misato said sincerely.
"We know, Misato-san. It's our burden, not yours." Shinji consoled the Major.
-
Ritsuko, contrary to popular belief, did have feelings. She was not emotionless, nor would she ever intentionally harm anyone… unless she had no choice.
So as she sat there, going over the records, she made particular note that the cores were indeed still intact - which caused her to breathe a sigh of relief.
But now, something more terrible had to be done. She had to choose a Pilot, thereby choosing a core. "Damn you, Gendo." She muttered, sitting at her console. She flipped through the student psychological profiles, looking for the type of student that would bring stability and balance to the team. Someone who would not destabilize so easily under stress. As she perused the files, she came across three potential candidates.
"Aida Kensuke." She muttered, reading his file. "He's a good friend to Shinji-kun, according to the profile." She looked at the geek, and saw many other things there than an Eva pilot. 'He would hack us out of house and home.' she thought to herself. She saw the multiple instances where Aida had actually gained access to supposedly 'Secure' documents. By looking at some of the coding styles and samples the young hacker used, she surmised that he would most certainly not do for a pilot. 'Perhaps we can bring him in as a tech, under Maya or myself… then we could keep his nose out of trouble.' She shook her head, 'The kid doesn't have a chance before the end. After that, none of this will exist anyways. Let him be free for a while longer.'
"Hokari Hikari" She looked at the strong-willed Class Rep's profile. "She's a good candidate, but would take long to get into the 'mood' to pilot. She wouldn't want to do it as much as the others. Plus, she has an abundant home life. There aren't many things that could motivate her to pilot Eva."
"But, this one… Suzhara Touji. Now he's perfect for the job. Strong willed with a sense of honor, ready to defend his sister. Became friends with Shinji; and his sister - what a ripe child she is. Perfect! I believe Mr. Suzhara, we will be trading quite soon… your sister's health for your willingness to pilot." Ritsuko smirked, grabbing a cigarette and lighting it. "Indeed, A perfect candidate. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if he was on the Marduk List anyways."
-
"Suzhara…" Commander Ikari muttered, watching the hidden security feed, "An appropriate victim for the Thirteenth Angel." He looked at the technical specifications for Unit Four and Unit Three, and smiled, "Ah yes, my American friends. So little you know."
-
Shinji collapsed on his bed, exhausted. Unfortunately, Misato had plans for Shinji other than his retreating to his room.
"Shinji?" Misato asked, opening the door to his room.
Shinji turned over to face her, "Yes, Misato-san?"
"Do you plan on visiting Rei again tonight?" She asked softly.
"Perhaps..." Shinji admitted.
Misato sighed and entered his room, "Why Rei?"
"And not Asuka?" Shinji asked, his eyebrow rising slightly on his forehead.
"And not anyone else?" Misato asked with a gleam in her eye.
"I… I guess it's because she is so different. She's so vulnerable, even with all that I know about her, she seems so unprotected."
"Believe me, Shinji-kun, if anyone were able to take care of themselves its Rei." Misato reassured the young boy.
Shinji shook his head, "I don't think so, Misato-san. Asuka is very independent - she recoils at everyone and everything that tries to get close. I know its a self-defense mechanism that allowed her to keep her sanity for a while, but what it means is that she's a poor team player. Rei, on the other hand, holds no value for her own life. I have to constantly remind her that she can only live if she chooses to live."
"Rei does have her problems." Misato admitted, "But so does Asuka. She puts up a strong front, a seemingly invincible barrier of false happiness and bravery. Not many people know it, Shinji, but she's been riding the razor's edge since she arrived in Tokyo-3. Even she doesn't know it yet."
"If she has been like that, it is most likely why father chose her for an Eva pilot. She is weakened by her mistrust of Unit 02. In addition, she weakens the team whenever she becomes over-emotional. Whatever it is that father plans, it must involve the destruction of Unit 01 - most likely during the Ceremony of Red Earth."
"You don't think that your father would intentionally kill you?" Misato asked the young boy. 'He can't be that callous, can he?'
Shinji gazed into his guardian's eyes, "Without doubt. It is his plan."
"What purpose would that accomplish? The destruction of Unit 01 would simply result in your death." Misato argued.
"It would result in the destruction of Unit 01 as well. Father knows what that means; it would be the release of Mother's soul. It is his only goal in existence - to restore my mother to life."
Misato stuttered, "B-but that makes no sense? If the ceremony were to occur and the Eva was destroyed we would all be dead anyways."
"No one said that it had to make sense, Misato-san." Shinji lamented, "Since when do matters of the heart make sense?"
"Well, at any rate, I don't think that you should go over to Rei's tonight. It would be very bad - especially with Asuka still upset over what happened earlier. She was very mad that she couldn't synchronize with you two." Misato looked down at her charge.
"It was because of her anger that she could not synchronize. But I have a feeling that the anger was a cover-up for something deeper. Perhaps some repressed memory or hidden thoughts that she does not want exposed to anyone - even if it's Rei and Me." Shinji looked at Misato, "Still, I will agree. I had no intentions of going to Rei's apartment."
"That's goo…" Misato started, but was interrupted by a calm knock at Shinji's door. Misato turned around to face Rei.
"How did you get in here?" Misato questioned, more shocked than angry at the intrusion by the pale, blue-haired girl. "And come to think about it, how did you get in here earlier?"
Rei blinked a few times, "Shinji gave me a pass code to use on the lock."
Misato looked back at Shinji. The boy replied, "It was safer than trying to go over to Rei's all the time. I might have been able to sneak over one night, but showing up again would have been highly suspicious."
Misato sighed, "I don't suppose that there's any point in trying to stop you two."
"No." Rei stated flatly as she sat next to Shinji.
"You realize that if anything happens… if you two have… you know. Do 'IT'…"
At this, Rei's eyes narrowed. "Sex is sex. It is not all there is of love. We have no intention of doing 'it' tonight. When we are ready for intimacy of that level, we will find somewhere more discrete for it."
Shinji sweat dropped.
"I suppose. Still, its just plain wrong for two children your age to be sleeping together." Misato said calmly.
"It doesn't feel wrong Misato-san." Shinji stated. "I know you're worried that we'd do something we weren't supposed to. But, I need this. Rei needs this. I… I love her, Misato."
"You have little latitude for such statements, Misato-san." Rei stated next. "Your sexual habits are common gossip at Central."
"Rei!" Shinji exclaimed, "That's not nice!"
"And telling us what to do, how we should behave, is?" Rei asked him quietly.
"I… I may have no ground to stand on with you, Rei." Misato said, "But I will not see Shinji-kun hurt by this."
"Misato-san, I swear that nothing untoward will happen between Ayanami and me." Shinji defended. "But… I think I need this. I… I don't want to be alone, Misato-san."
Misato looked at the two, knowing that nothing short of death would separate them tonight. "This… I can't say much, because Ayanami is right… but - Shinji, if she gets pregnant…"
"If I were to get pregnant, Misato-san, I would be the happiest girl in existence." Rei stated boldly.
"That's what you think, Young Lady. Just remember a child has to come from there," Misato pointed at the young woman's crotch. "It is not a pleasant experience."
Rei blinked, "Anything is more pleasant than knowing that what you speak of is impossible for me."
"What?" Misato asked.
"According to Doctor Akagi and Commander Ikari, I am sterile, Misato-san." Rei admitted.
"Rei…" Shinji started, "You don't have to…"
"Yes, I do, Shin-chan." Rei replied, and then stared at Misato, "Do you know what it is like, to be a woman yet to know that you will _never_ be able to experience that completion?"
Misato's hand went to her stomach, and the jagged scar that lie below her clothes, "More than you can imagine."
"I was _made_ this way, Misato-san." Rei said sadly. "I…I hope that Doctor Akagi is wrong, and that Shin-chan is correct. But I cannot see it. With all I have experienced in my life, I cannot lay my hopes in such a tenuous thread."
"Rei…" Shinji intoned calmly, his hands around the young woman's shoulders. She sank into him, her eyes closed against the tears that ran from her eyes.
"I'm sorry Rei." Misato whispered, "I… I… Understand."
Shinji looked at his guardian, "Misato?"
"I-I'm like Rei, Shinji." She looked down, "I don't think that I can have children, either. That injury… when I was… It…"
"It's alright, Misato-san." Shinji said, knowing it wasn't. "But yours was an accident. What they did to Rei - that was intentional."
"I know. She…She can stay. For tonight, Shinji - but it doesn't stop it from being…"
"It is not wrong, Misato-san." Shinji said. "I'm not lusting over her naked body, or am I only doing this to have sex with her. If it were that, then I'd be the first to agree with you. I…I just love being near her."
"Truth?" A teary-eyed Ayanami Rei asked Shinji.
"Truth. Rei-chan." Shinji replied.
"Thank you, Shin-chan." Rei said at a whisper.
-
Author's Notes:
Well, this is a large segment. But it's only about 1/10th of chapter one. I've got chapter two in beta-condition. Chapter three is in Rough Alpha-level. Chapters four, five, and six are outlined. I've plans for at least thirteen chapters.
I'm looking forward to your reviews of this. Just to say it once, ALL REVIEWS ARE WELCOMED HERE! I am not a newbie who will say that and ignore the posts. I try (I really, really do) to read each one, carefully consider it, and decide what to do. This started out as being a Fic for me. I decided that I wanted feedback to improve my writing - so I posted it. From the moment I made the post, I realized that the fic stopped being just for me, and started being something a lot of people might read. Because of that, I take every review seriously and really read them. But just to let you know in advance, if your suggestion is something that requires me to change every fifth word in the story – be ready for a disappointment. I have a plan, and I'm sticking to it! :)
I am expecting the next segment to be in viewable condition and posted by May 6th, barring a serious case of writers block or an outbreak of double shifts at work.
Now, I'd like to plug my little side-fic. If you haven't read my little side story, Path of Tears, please do. I only had four reviews for it so far. Although the four reviews I've had so far have been positive, I'd like more feedback – especially since I'm considering doing more stories along those lines. Path of Tears is more a background story for my take of the source of Rei's soul.
My personal take is that Rei's soul is Lilith's soul. It really doesn't matter much in NGE exactly where the soul is coming from. The primary focus is that Rei is a clone of an Angel and Yui Ikari. The only thing we know with absolute certainty is that Rei doesn't have Yui's soul. Sorry if that's a spoiler for anyone out there, but I think that anyone who's watched all 26 eps of NGE knows exactly where Yui's soul is.
Second, nobody knows to what level Yui's genetics are present in Ayanami's constitution. We do know that she's at least part angel. Ritsuko said that 'Everything was left of Yui Ikari' in the plug. But that it was merged with the LCL. What affect did being merged with Lilith's blood have on Yui's genetics? She was engineered, but do we know how they put together the parts? And exactly how much of the genetics are required to make a person look like another? These are all questions I've been asking myself as I develop these fics, especially the ones where I have Shinji and Rei paired.
Now, with that said, although I will attempt to keep in the realm of cannon – I plan on stretching the Mythology a bit. You will see more in the "Tears" series, I guarantee it. And where it will go will have a decidedly SciFi flavor.
Update 4/28/2002
Ok. I've revised this section a little – in addition to converting it to html. I was a little harsh on Asuka, saying that she was on the verge of suicide since day one. I toned it down a bit, although I still say pretty much the same thing, its said in a far less callous way. I doubt that anyone would be able to argue that I've made it worse than what it was before… At least I hope they can't :)
Thanks again for the reviews, and keep them coming.
Just trying to make a good fic,
P.V