Conversations and Observations Chapter One Part 8 – Echoes of Emptiness.

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Author's Notes:

Sorry about the length of time between updates… I'm trying to keep it to a minimum. Here's the next part of Chapter One.

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Thursday Morning

The path of life is the intertwined nature of light and dark, equal and opposite. Like the sunrise and the sunset. Just as dusk falls and gives way to night; so too does the sun return. Dawn gives way to day, and brings an end to darkness. But while the sun may force a retreat of those things that live in shadow and revel in night – it does not erase all shadows from the realm of existence. In fact, there are times that the shadows cast by the morning sun are darker and more frightening than any shadow cast at night. But because the sun is there, high above us, we understand that all we need to do to be free from the shadow is to step into the light. We can face our darkest fears during the day, because of that one simple fact.

But there isn't always an escape clause. Clouds sometimes rain darkness upon the Earth. As the Eva carrier flew high through the sky, a particularly foreboding cumulous cloud found itself in its path. After a few moments deliberation, the pilot looked at the cloud as he received his orders. He didn't want to fly through the dark remnant of water vapor … but the sun was out… and it was but one cloud. And his orders were that the cloud could not be avoided without delaying the arrival… which was unacceptable.

So like most humans, he bravely glanced up at the daylight sun, and reminded himself that clouds were just clouds. The sun was dipping lower in the horizon as he made his way to Japan against the rotation of the earth. Racing at nearly the speed of sound, his goal was to deliver his cargo as fast as possible. Besides, There were things far more dangerous than clouds… he was carrying one of them. So he looked at the sun, and then stared at the cloud; facing it bravely.

The massive aircraft began to encounter the outer edge of the soupy grayness that composed the cloud's outer shell. Wisps of pearly white water vapor trailed by his window, revealing ever increasing layers of complexity as he entered the phantom zone of darkness. A sudden rumble in the superstructure of the aircraft sent a chill down the pilot's spine; and, for one brief instant, he felt that piloting through this particular cloud was a very bad idea. However, like a good soldier, he shook off his misgivings and reminded himself that the sun would be on the other side… and that would make it all right.

When the aircraft completely disappeared into the massive cloud with its cargo, a bolt of chain-lightning danced across its irregular boundaries: almost as if it had smiled in evil satisfaction after devouring a particularly juicy morsel…

-

The morning light had not yet peered over the distant vista, yet Shinji Ikari was already starting his morning routine – preparing breakfast. It didn't faze him that he was not in his own kitchen – in Misato's apartment. The layout was the same, yet mirrored slightly. But all the cabinets were in the same place relative to the layout, of course. Another matter assisted him in his familiarity with the small kitchen: He had helped stock it – so he was intimately familiar with everything there.

So without hesitation, he proceeded with his preparations. He didn't even notice that Misato had crept up behind him and was currently watching with keen interest as he prepared the morning repast.

So absorbed was Shinji that he didn't bother to look around him… He had to make Rei a breakfast. He had to make Asuka a breakfast. They both had to eat – and resume their "training". He took care to ensure that the utensils that he used to cook Asuka's sausages and eggs were kept separate from the utensils he used to make Rei's rice and a special creation… A couple fruit pancakes… He had taken several peaches and sliced them up, mixing them in with the light pancake mix he had purchased. Since this was a "Buttermilk" pancake mix, he figured that there might be some dairy product in the mix itself… since the instructions said, 'Just add water.' He remembered having these once… and they tasted good. But that was a long time ago.

He looked at the pancake batter, mixed, measured, and ready to dole out. He took the large ladle, and dipped it into the bowl. As he lifted the batter filled ladle, he caught the aroma of the fresh peaches combined with the more earthy scent of flour in the mixture. He watched as the finely mixed peach bits tumbled slowly in the batter as it made its way to the hot cooking surface below. With a satisfying sizzle, the batter gently flowed outwards, forming a perfect circle in the pan.

Misato watched diligently as the boy manipulated pan and food in a coordinated dance that combined dexterity and raw skill with some other, almost intangible element: Love. The boy loved cooking… He loved making this food. He loved the idea that he was doing something for the people he cared for. 'Maybe it tastes so good because he loves… us.' Misato thought kindly as Shinji concentrated on the preparations.

"It is." Rei said suddenly from behind the major. Her voice was at a slight whisper, but the tone was accusing, almost as though the First Child was angry that the major was there.

Misato jumped up, and nearly ran into Shinji as she whirled around. "Rei!" As she screamed the name, she heard Shinji yelp behind her.

"M…Misato-san!" Shinji exclaimed, shocked. "S…Sorry. I didn't hear you come in." Shinji apologized quickly, then turned back to his food before saying: "Rei… I'll have your breakfast done soon."

Rei looked at the boy oddly, then replied with a soft whisper, "Please, take your time. There is no rush." Her voice though betrayed something else – her inability to sleep calmly without Shinji's comforting presence. She was dependant on him in order to function anymore. Right now, all Rei wanted to do – more than anything else, was walk up behind Shinji, and slowly embrace him, laying her head on his shoulder as he prepared her meal. But with the Major in the room, that was an impossibility.

As the Major calmed down, she took a careful appraisal of her wards. Shinji was, as always, Shinji. But Rei looked… tired. She immediately came to a conclusion… "So you two didn't share the same bed last night, eh?"

Rei's red eyes flashed up in an almost withering glare. "We did not."

Shinji continued to cook breakfast as though nothing was wrong, but every once in a while, when his right hand was free and by his side, he would clench and unclench his fist. Still though, the boy's attention never left the food.

"So, where did Shinji-kun sleep?" The major asked, her face locked in a smile, blatantly ignoring the death glare from Ayanami.

Rei's eyes narrowed, her voice dropped to a low whisper. "With Sohryu-san."

'Oh… this is so fun.' The major thought, as she continued her game of teasing the blue haired girl. "One ethereal beauty isn't enough for our Shin-chan, eh?" Misato cringed slightly as she heard the pan slam down on the stove's heating elements. 'Maybe I've gone a bit too far…' She thought as she imagined Shinji staring laser beams into the back of her head.

"That is not why. The reason is none of your business, Major." Rei said with steel in her voice.

"What, Rei? Not even going to give me a hint?" Misato glared – her smile still present, but obviously a façade. 'After all,' Misato thought angrily, 'who does this child think she is to decide what is my business?'

"It is not for me to say." Rei said softly. Her anger with Major Katsuragi served no useful purpose. "It was important for the training… Any other reason is unimportant."

"Oh." Misato said, her head snuggling comfortably in her folded arms as she started to rest on the kitchen table. Her eyes scanned Rei almost constantly for any sign of deception or malice.

"Guten Morgen…" Asuka said lazily as she rounded the corner.

"Good Morning." Shinji replied softly, not glancing back at her. "I see everyone's awake.

Asuka made an act of sniffing the air in the kitchen. "Ah… Sausage! My favorite!" She then glared at the back of Shinji's head, "You better not ruin them, Third Child."

"Yes," was his only response.

"Guten Morgen, Sohryu-san." Rei said politely.

"Eh… Good morning." Asuka replied as she collapsed into a free chair. An instant later, Asuka's head was resting in the cusp of her right hand as her left idly drummed on the table.

"Did you have a good night's sleep, Asuka?" Misato asked, her usual devilish grin on her face.

Asuka glanced at her sidelong. "It… wasn't bad." She said unconvincingly.

"Oh, it must have been the company then." Misato smiled fully, "Rei had a terrible night's sleep."

"I could imagine that she did." Asuka said, taking a glance at the blue-haired girl. Asuka noted that while she was sitting almost at attention at the table, her eyes looked… tired. Rei's glance was fixated at the stove and upon their current chef as he performed his culinary duties. 'Did you suffer that much for letting him spend just one night with me, Rei?' The redhead thought. Soon her gaze was directed back towards Misato.

"You can tell; it's the eyes. They may already be bloodshot – but they're redder than usual this morning." Misato proclaimed.

Asuka sighed. "I understand how she feels."

This caught Rei's attention, as the blue haired girl redirected her sight to that of the Second Child.

Asuka continued on as though what she said had no importance, "After all, our time to implement a… plan is rapidly fading."

"We'll make it." Shinji proclaimed. "Faith."

Rei almost smiled at the boy's newfound optimism, "Where there is love, there is a way." She reaffirmed softly. Her next words were directed at Sohryu: "I have faith in you, Sohryu-san."

"Faith?" Asuka said, lifting her head from her hands.

"We depend on you," Shinji replied. "We trust you."

Asuka became introspective, "I… I don't deserve it."

"Asuka!" Misato exclaimed. "Don't think like that."

"I'm weak. I'm poor. I'm only good at one thing. Piloting Evangelion." She then said at a whisper, "I can't even trust myself, how can I trust my teammates with something so intimate?"

"You have to trust them, Asuka." The major said softly. "The commander put enough pressure on the Americans to get them to send over Eva 03. He's trying to push the test and activation schedule ahead by two days. He wants to perform an Activation test with the Fourth Child on Friday."

Shinji calmly brought the food to the table… After setting the food down, he walked back to the cupboards to grab some dishes… but, glared off in the distance. "That isn't enough time."

Rei, too, was sullen at the news. "It may not be enough time to stop the Unit 03 activation… That means we will have to confront the Fourteenth: Bardiel…"

Shinji closed his eyes. "That means a pilot… one of us…"

"Perhaps." Rei said.

"What about Kaworu? Wouldn't they choose him?" Shinji wondered aloud.

"No." Rei looked thoughtfully at her Shinji, as he started to pick out the plates for breakfast. "They would not use him as cannon fodder."

Misato looked oddly at the children, "Kaworu?"

"A friend Shinji made yesterday…" Rei said softly.

"He was that boy that was here, eh?" Asuka said. "He looks kind of like you."

"We are…" Rei said softly, "similar." The stress that Ayanami put on the last word left no doubts in anyone's mind of what she felt about the concept.

"Oh." Asuka said, immediately understanding what the blue haired girl meant.

"I wonder who they will choose as the fourth." Shinji said.

"The fourth…" Misato muttered. "He has already been chosen. I was told this morning."

The children stared at their guardian.

Misato eyed each one of them, looking into their eyes. "It's… classified."

"Really?" Asuka asked; sarcasm all over her facial expressions. "Perhaps you'd like to tell that to the pilot yourself then… 'Oh by the way we have an Eva for you. Model 03… just one slight problem… it has an Angel in it that's going to go rampaging all over the City… but other than that, its all yours."

"How did you discover this information Major Katsuragi?" Rei inquired. "You are not one of the ones who would normally be notified."

"Ritsuko told me." Misato muttered. "We're going to have the test in Matsushiro. She didn't mention anything about an Angel though..."

"Who is the pilot?" Shinji asked.

"Suzuhara… Touji is the Fourth."

"Hasn't his family suffered enough at the hands of Eva?" Shinji suddenly asked, remembering his own addition to the Suzuhara family's suffering. "Why him?"

Misato smiled, "He was willing. We're going to help his sister… best care… every resource of NERV to ensure that she is healed."

"You blackmailed him." Rei accused, vaporizing the smile that was on the Major's lips.

Misato became contemplative of the exact manipulation used to acquire the agreement of the Fourth Child's services. "I didn't do it. Ritsuko did. She approached him on Tuesday. He agreed yesterday."

Rei nodded, sensing the truth in Misato's words. "Perhaps… But it does not change the fact that they blackmailed him into piloting. Then again, they don't need him to do much – simply synchronize with the Evangelion to awaken the Angel hiding inside."

"What will happen if the Angel awakens?" Shinji asked, looking absently at the table and the food.

"We will have to stop the Angel." Rei said softly.

Shinji looked up, "What about Touji?"

Rei continued to stare. Her eyes closed slowly, as she bowed her head down.

Asuka looked at her food, suddenly not feeling very hungry. "Don't worry about that…"

"Misato-san!" Shinji suddenly shouted, "Why?"

"I'll do what I can, Shinji…" Misato said. "Maybe if I talk with the commander…"

"He already knows." Rei admitted, her eyes still closed as if contemplating her level of guilt and shame. "He engineered everything to proceed precisely in this fashion."

"But…" Shinji started, looking back at Misato… "Why Touji?"

"Because he can," Rei said. "But he is not the only one. They all can."

"C…Can what?"

"Pilot Eva," Rei snapped open her eyes. "The 2-A class is where they have gathered all the Fourth Level Pilot Candidates in Japan. It is the reason that I am there, that you are there, and that Sohryu is there as well."

Misato looked away, as Shinji redirected his stare towards her. "You knew?" He asked, trying to see her face and eyes.

"I knew." Misato said, "But only recently."

"I understand." Shinji said, suddenly looking at Rei, "The web?"

Rei nodded slightly. "It was spun long ago. Little snippets here and there… all to protect them… and at the center of them, of everything…"

"You," Shinji affirmed. "I see… If I didn't see before, I see now."

Rei nodded softly, and began to eat her food. She took several small bites, before a tear formed at the edge of her eye. She ignored the tear as it escaped down the side of her cheek and fell upon the soft, perfect pancake.

-

"You're asking the impossible," Ritsuko complained, momentarily forgetting her place in the grand scheme of things. "Impossible!"

Gendo Ikari glared at the Doctor from behind his usual position. "The impossible is why we are still here. The activation test will occur on Friday, and the Dummy System will be prepared by that time."

Ritsuko huffed, "For God's Sake!"

"God has no dominion in this room." Gendo peered from behind his famous pose to let Ritsuko see his eyes, "And you should do well to remember that you have no dominion here either."

Ritsuko blinked.

"If you cannot have the Evangelion and the Dummy System ready by that time, then your purpose to the project is… lessened."

"You wouldn't have me killed."

Gendo smiled, and sent shivers of terror down Ritsuko's spine. "Need I remind you doctor there are fates worse than death?"

Ritsuko Akagi twitched slightly, "What?"

Gendo's smile broadened, "You should do well to remember what the dummy system's true purpose is…" From nowhere, Gendo produced a small dart gun. Before Ritsuko could even blink, she was struck by a small black feathered dart. Moment's later, she was unconscious on the floor. "Yes. Perhaps a reminder of what the dummy system can really do…" Gendo mused as he pressed a button on his desk to summon security.

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Ritsuko woke in the orange haze of LCL. She forced herself not to gag as she breathed in the vile substance. "Gendo!" She shouted, but the words came out as a soft whisper in the chamber. Then she realized where she was… 'Good god, no…" She thought.

She tried to squirm around in the LCL tube, but to no avail… "Gendo!" She shouted again. She noted her state, naked, on display… every piece of her skin and hair in full view. Through the tube she could make out a distortion observing in the shadows.

Suddenly his voice filled the tube, and caused her to cease her thrashing. "You know why you're here, Akagi?" She could hear the smirk in Gendo's voice.

"No."

"Well, perhaps I expected too much of you, doctor. After all, you should have easily been able to divine Rei's purpose, and the purpose of the Dummy System. It's on display for everyone to see: Human Complementation." Ritsuko watched as Gendo's hazy form made its way around the chamber. She forced herself to remain calm, and to follow his motion with only small movements on her part.

"You're mad." Akagi accused, not really understanding what he was trying to say.

"Alas, Ritsuko…" She could make out the figure shaking its head through the distortion of the curved glass and yellow LCL. "You disappoint me." He came up close, allowing her to make out the features on his face. "My son would do better than you in your place."

Ritsuko glared, "Well, is the great Gendo Ikari going to enlighten me at any point soon?" She asked sardonically, false bravado on her face and in her voice. She knew that this was part of the dummy system, part of the whole system that created the Evangelion's and the Magi.

Gendo chuckled, "I had not thought you so arrogant and so stupid. It is obvious that you need assistance in preparing the Dummy Plug. You may be a brilliant programmer, but the impossible is what is required. You know what to do; it's just the time factor that limits you… So I've decided to eliminate the most time consuming element: The tedious manual programming.

Gendo gestured at the containment tube Doctor Akagi was in. "Your mother made this system, you know. Not for the dummies, of course, that wasn't her intention. But the chamber you were in right now was designed to interface directly with the Magi. She used this system to imprint the engramatic algorithms on the Magi's artificially engineered organic processors. However, without the dummy system buffer, the link ended up disrupting her cognitive abilities. She became addicted to being linked with the Magi, and violently unstable."

"My mother?" Akagi whispered, looking closely at the various probes in the ceiling and floor of the capsule.

"She lost herself in there. Without the buffer provided by the Dummies, she became insane. And, of course, she was of no further use to me." Gendo went over to the control panel.

"Please, Gendo…"

"Don't worry Doctor; I need you well balanced and stable. Had I been truly cruel, I'd disable the buffer. But in order to ensure you don't suffer the same fate as your mother, I will route the interface through the dummy system." Gendo stepped back in the shadows as the synchronization links began to initialize.

"Gendo! The emotional factor… the cognitive differences…" Akagi argued, beginning to feel the effects of the clone's minds.

"A bit of Rei's emotional patterns might find their way into you…" Gendo mentioned as the synchronization commenced.

"Please…" Ritsuko Akagi said as her stare became almost blank. The Rei's were synchronizing with her, forcing their thoughts into her mind, expecting her to be opened – not to resist their efforts. With the last effort of her individuality, Ritsuko asked one last question: "Why?"

"Because…" Gendo said from the shadows, "Because I can." He watched as the doctor entered a hypnotic trance like state. Then he stepped forward into view again, and allowed the scientist's eyes to focus on him. He issued his next instructions as he would issue a command to a computer. "Akagi. Reprogram the Dummy Matrix and Magi Interface for Unit 01, and perform the calculations as quickly as possible."

Ritsuko blinked once, "Timeframe?" Her voice resounded with a strange echo.

Gendo heard the voices and smiled slightly. The interface was perfect. "I need the system prepared by oh-seven hundred Friday."

The voices of the Rei clones harmonized with Doctor Akagi's voice, "Understood. Estimate that the dummy system will have an effectiveness of 59.2% by that time frame."

Gendo smiled as he stepped back into the shadows. Ritsuko's eyes stared almost unblinkingly into the distance… as a small, empty, smile formed on her face.

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Author's notes:

Well, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. It took me a while to write this, but it's quicker than my three month hiatus I took when my job was in jeopardy. As always, please read and review. :)

Tidbits to keep in mind: Shinji didn't know yet that Class 2-A was a pilot repository. (Asuka and Hikari figured it out, but didn't tell him about it) and there is a reason that Gendo used the name "Akagi" rather than her first name... :D

2/17 - replaced Karwou with Kaworu. I'm adding it to my spell check too. :) Thanks Kuracao for catching that.

Thanks for reading this,
PitViper. (pvalpha@yahoo.com)