Ch. 2: Leaving
Walking outside to give the dreadful news to the children Maria was convinced she was calm. Well as calm as you can be after a catastrophe has happened. She got a strange feeling in her stomach as she watched the children play ball happily. She wondered to herself if this is what Georg felt when he had to tell the children about Agathe. She remembered their conversations about Agathe vividly as if it were yesterday. Maria got chills when she thought about having to tell the children that there Father was now dead as well. This had to be worse than the first time. The children were pretty much orphans in a way now. That was a scary thought. When Maria had found out her Father had died she felt so utterly alone in the world, even when she did not really know him. Now these poor children were about to find out their beloved Father had died.
"Children can I please talk to you for a minute?" Maria yelled. The children stopped and looked at the seriousness in her face. They all stood in front of her. She had never been that completely nervous in her life.
"Children I am so sorry to tell you this, but your Father died yesterday." Her words hung on her tongue. She could not bear to look at the children's faces. The girls instantly began to cry. The two boys just stood there in shock and utter disbelief. Maria felt tears brimming in her eyes. She tried to stop them for a moment, but then remembered that Georg had tried to handle it that way also and he had not succeeded at all. Letting the tears fall she scooped the little ones into a big hug.
"So we are orphans?" Kurt asked in disbelief.
"Of course we are not orphans, we still have Mother." A teary eyed Brigitta said.
"Why would she want to stay with just us? Father is not here anymore." Kurt told her. The others eyes got even sadder at the thought of me leaving. I quickly jumped in.
"That is nonsense Kurt, of course I am going to stay with my children. I love you guys." Maria told them. She put an emphasis on "my" then she read them the letters. The one from the children's Father made them ball the most.
"Mother it is not fair that you two never got to get married. You really loved each other and you barley got to spend time together." Liesl said.
"I know Liesl, but sometimes the will of God is different from what you want. God gave me a few months to know your Father. I treasure those few months I knew him and thank God for making me so happy…even if it was to be short lived. I wouldn't change those months for anything." Maria stated. Liesl gave her a big hug.
For about a week things were like this around the house. The children were grateful to have Maria there. Then one night it was announced over the radio that Austria had finally surrendered to the Nazis. Maria clung to the children closely while they whimpered that they were scared.
"Mother? These are the same people that killed Father. Huh?" Gretl asked while climbing up on Maria's lap. Maria's heart broke as she nodded her head. Liesl started to sing Gretl the song about her Favorite Things to make her stop crying. "I miss him." Gretl told Maria.
"I know my darling, so do I…so do I." Maria told her.
The next day Max marched into the villa.
"Maria how are you doing my dear?" He asked.
"Well about as good as I could be in a time like this." Maria gave him a wistful smile as she let him in the door.
"I am so sorry about all of this Maria. I suppose I should get right to the point. Because of Georg's death they know that this family is trying to flee and is against the Nazis." Maria cringed. Max continued. "So for the past couple of days I have been searching for a way to get you all out of here. It was very dangerous, but I managed to get eight train tickets that will take you Switzerland. So if you would like to go on a train tomorrow I have got tickets and have also reserved a house for you. Not quite as big as this one, but it will do."
"Oh Max how can I thank you enough? You did not have to do this." Maria told him. "Wait, what about you? Aren't you going to be in trouble?"
"Oh I don't know but Maria you really must not worry about me." He told her.
"Max if they find you, you will be killed. Look I want you to go in the train with the children tomorrow…"
"But Maria…" Maria interrupted.
"No Max, you have done far to much for us to let me get you killed. If Georg were here he would help you too. So they don't know about me. I can just go to the Abbey and get the next train out of here and meet you all." Maria explained.
"Maria it may not be that easy to get out." He supplied.
"Well if I can't I will just have to wait until the end of the war. I'm sure I can get out of here. Please Max…this is what God wants." Maria told him. Max smiled up at her eyes and he noticed what had made Georg fall madly in love with this woman.
"Alright I will go Maria as long as you get over there as fast as you can. Keep yourself safe." He told her.
"I will." She said. Max had to smile at her. She was saving his life. He would surly be killed if he stayed in Austria.
"Maria?" Max asked. Maria turned and looked at him.
"Yes?"
"Did Georg ever tell you that you are a saint?" He asked. Maria smiled.
"Yes and he told me that the candle I carry in my soul is lit and illuminates the rest of the world." She told him basking in the memory of Georg.
"He was right." Max said smiling. Tears came to Maria's eyes.
"Thanks." Was all she could manage.
The bright sun rose over the Alps and gazed in Maria's window. The day had come. This day was when her children would leave and she would stay behind. She got out of bed surprised to find the weather did not match her mood at all.
The children had been upset about Maria not going with them, but she had promised them she would be there as soon as possible. They understood how dangerous it was for Max to stay; yet they still did not want to leave Maria. They felt that in a way it was like leaving the only family they still had left. Yet there they were standing at the train station-bidding farewell to Maria. As they waved goodbye to Maria she felt a strange feeling come over her. She felt as if she was just a postulant again alone in the world. If she never were to leave Austria she would never see these children again. It made Maria feel so odd. Just a month ago everything had seemed so perfect. Everything just perfect. She would have a large family. The children would be hers and most important she would have Georg. Georg…just that very name made Maria swoon. What she would do just to be in his wonderful arms one more time. All she could do now was remember the wonderful times she had, had with him.
The tower of the Abbey wall popped into her view. Maria sighed deeply. She was back to being a nun. A widowed nun nonetheless. Maria thought to herself trying to make humor out of it. She was not, however finding it in the least bit funny. She rang the Abbey bell and saw the Reverend Mother approach her.