Authors Note: I'm sorry. You hate me, right? Of course you do. I hate myself too. It's all very sad. But I didn't know what to write! So, please, if you have any ideas for this story, please send to: billabong_913@yahoo.com.au. Thank you all so much for sticking with this story. You rule 100%!
Disclaimer: Don't make me say it. Please …
Chapter Seven: Confused With A Capital 'Huh....'
"No."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"Tongue?"
"Yes."
"Too much …"
"Just enough."
Ginny Weasley raised her eyebrows. "What has gotten into you, Hermione?"
Hermione looked at her. "What do you mean?"
"I mean … you and Malfoy. It just spells 'trouble.'"
"Actually, it spells 'youandMalfoy'."
"Hermione …"
Hermione smiled at her. "What?"
"It's just you're happy … and I don't want you to get hurt," said Ginny.
"Ginny!" Hermione exclaimed. "You should have seen the look on his face after I kissed him. It was like … confused with a capital 'huh.'" Hermione acted like she didn't even hear Ginny's last statement.
"So, that's all it is then … a game," said Ginny.
"Of course," Hermione replied. "What – did you think I was falling in love with Draco Malfoy?" She laughed heartily after she said this, and waited for Ginny to laugh with her.
She didn't.
"Oh my God … Ginny … Ginny …" But she couldn't finish the sentence because she was laughing so hard.
Ginny sighed. "Go ahead … laugh."
"I am," Hermione wheezed. "Oh … oh, God Ginny … I think those blonde highlights are seeping into your skull."
"Shut up."
"I'm sorry. You know I love you. You know if I turned-,"
"I would be the first one you turn to. Right, so I'm only your first choice if you become a lesbian. Great."
"Ginny. You know it's a joke."
"I know."
"Good. I have to go. It's called getting someone so back he'll be moping in his Daddy's mansion for years to come."
"What about the kiss?" asked Ginny.
"Oh, that was just a warm-up," said Hermione. "It's time to bring in the big guns."
"OK," said Ginny. "Have fun." But Hermione was already gone.
~*~*~*~*
"Neville," said Hermione. "What is the strangest book you have ever seen?"
"Excuse me?"
"I'm conducting a poll. You will expect Malfoy or some other chap to come by soon." Of course Malfoy was coming by at all. This was part of her plan. It was perfect. Proof-free. She knew it.
"Er – well, there was A Lesbian's Guide to Good Health." Hermione chuckled as she wrote it down. This made Neville think harder. "How to get a Clock to Tell You the Time and … Oh, yeah, Idiots Guide To Slapping the Salami."
Hermione snorted as she added it to list. "Thanks, Neville."
"No problem."
Hermione left the library with a big grin on her face that afternoon.
~*~*~*~*
Draco entered the Great Hall with an extra-large book bag the next morning. He had awoken with it in that state, and figured the spell he had cast which forced magic to do his homework and chores for him had gone the extra mile. Not that he was complaining. It was a great morning. He was happy.
~*~*~*~*
Hermione watched from behind the shadows. She was not seen by anyone, but she knew Draco would figure out the culprit. She was ready. It was perfect. She muttered a quick spell and watched with glee his bag come crashing down.
~*~*~*~*
As soon as it happened, Pansy hurried over to help put his bag together. She then noticed a book. "Bi-sexual and Gay Man Husbands?" she read aloud.
Several kids giggled, Draco's face flushed with fury and humiliation. But Pansy wasn't done. "A Lesbian's Guide to Good Health?" The Gryffindor table roared with laughter.
~*~*~*~*
From where Hermione was standing, she only heard, "Idiot's Guide to Slapping the Salami," before Draco ran out of the Great Hall.
"I'm back," she whispered happily.