I.
Scott's Mazda RX-8 down the long, curved roads of the wooded area around the mansion. He was leaving...he didn't care where he went just as long as he was away. Away from all of the responsibility, away from all of the confusion, away from Emma, and most of all, away from Jean.
He wasn't sure what was wrong...everything just seemed different. His whole outlook on life had been altered since his separation from Apocalypse. Scott could feel thoughts, feelings...almost of an evil nature creeping, seeping into the core of his being. He found himself noticeably cool and short with teammates that he had known for most of his life. He kept to himself more, not wanting the company of anyone. Even Jean.
Scott sighed as he whipped around a curve in the road at about eighty miles per hour.
"What the hell was I thinking?" Scott hit the steering wheel, trying to relieve the frustration that was growing in his mind.
'What the hell was I thinking...' it seemed to be the catch-phrase of his life these days. Scott had spent many a night asking himself the same question over and over again. When Jean lay, facing the opposite way, sound asleep, Scott was wide awake.
He was growing away from Jean, but he didn't know why. Not only did he have to deal with his issues, but Scott had noticed Jean changing as well. She was avoiding him. They were hardly together anymore, using the excuse of work to separate themselves from each other.
Maybe that's why it was so easy for Scott to succumb to Emma. Even though the new feelings in Scott made him distant, there was still the longing for companionship...love.
His foot pressed harder against the pedal, hoping he could speed away from everything: the mansion, Professor Xavier, the X-Men, Logan, Emma, and most of all Jean.
How could he face her...after everything that happened? Scott sighed as he got lost in his own thoughts.
II.
What the hell was I thinking?
It's ironic...I'm running away from the one woman who I chased after most of my young adult years. I'm running away like a scared, confused little boy. But, that's what it comes down to...I'm confused, and in some ways, I'm scared. Scared of what I've become, what Jean thinks, what the Professor thinks, hell, what everyone else thinks.
It's been easy to hide my feelings from everyone, even Jean. I never could before...she was always there. She knew me sometimes better than I knew myself. But I had to be strong...strong for the team...strong for my family...and strong for Jean.
My family...that's something to think about. I have a son that's older than I am, a daughter that harnesses the same dangerous power that almost destroyed Jean, and I had yet another son that I gave my life for. Their not actually my children, but I feel a bond to them and for all of them, in one form or another, Jean is their mother. She and I seem to have had less of a strained relationship in the rest of these timelines.
Somehow, Emma Frost of all women I've had in my life found something that I thought was destroyed along with Apocalypse. She came to me in my time of need and was able to draw something from me that I thought I had lost. Emma Frost...is the woman a blessing or a curse?
Everything is so...damn complicated. Why...why can't I just be who I was before? Why is all this happening?
Jean...I can't even begin to apologize...but the ironic thing is that I can't. Was what I did really wrong? You're supposed to understand...you're supposed to care. No, she does...what am I thinking...I don't know anymore. Does Emma really care about me? Of course not...she's just trying to...I just can't figure her out either.
What the hell was I thinking?
No, no. I don't want to think about any of it anymore. Dammit.
III.
When Scott found himself in the parking lot of the Hellfire Club, his first instinct, despite everything that had happened, was to drive away. But he had already been to the dark side, what could the Hellfire Club do that was any worse?
Scott slowly climbed out of the car, looking at the sign before taking the first step toward what would become an adventurous night.