Chapter 2: Ororo and Moose

Ororo met Logan coming in the door with some surprise. "I thought you had plans to go bar hopping with Max," she said. She never called him Moose; it seemed disrespectful somehow.

"I did," Logan grumped, heading up the steps. "He didn't want to go." He turned and continued on his way. Ororo was left standing with mixed feelings there in the kitchen.

She'd never been particularly thrilled with Logan's habit of hitting the bars and drinking. However, lately, it was the only thing that would get him out of the room he and Jubilee had shared. He had refused to change rooms; he had, in fact, kept everything exactly the way she had left it, as though Jubilee would just walk back in the front door one day and pick up where she left off.

Tears stung her eyes, and she blinked them away. It had been two weeks since Jubilee had died; and the loss was still hitting them hard. Hank hadn't been able to bring himself to disassemble the reaction chamber she had performed her experiments in; it sat, lonely and forgotten, in the corner of his lab. Xavier hadn't had the heart to reclaim the texts she'd borrowed from his library to write her papers; he'd spent a great deal of time quietly closeted in his study. Everyone else seemed at loose ends, too; she'd been the youngest of all of them, and her loss was felt deeply.

And not only by the residents of the mansion. Ororo looked outside the window toward the silent figure sitting on the snowy ground by the lake; if she squinted she could just see him. Moose, having received Xavier's permission to visit Jubilee's memorial stone whenever he wished, had taken to coming here every other day or so, just sitting by the stone. She was touched by his obvious grief; he didn't look like the type to take a loss deeply, but there was more to this man than met the eye.

She slipped on a coat and took her hot tea in her hands, slipped her feet into her shoes, and went out to where Moose was sitting. As she got closer to him, she heard him talking, and she stopped while still some distance away to listen.

* * *

Moose brushed away the snow from the tablet of stone quietly and sat back. It had already been two weeks since his little Lady had died, but it still seemed as if it had been only yesterday. He pulled his dog tags out of his shirt and studied the tiny circle of gold that he'd added to the chain that held them. Its sapphires winked back at him, bringing to his mind the bright blue eyes of its former owner. Those eyes had winked at him many times, usually right before she threw the first punch that would start a bar fight, or when she was conning the money out of some redneck's pocket in a game of pool. It had gotten to the point where no one would play against her. She'd stopped cleaning out the regulars and started to clean out the occasional visitors at Rex's, Crossroads, Harry's, and Fastlane, all the bars she'd visited on a regular basis.

That was the way he wanted to remember her; laughing, with that ready-for-anything gleam in her blue eyes. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to drive out the memory of how she looked the last time he'd seen her. She had been lying on the floor of his garage, screaming in agony as she was brutally assaulted by the mutant that Logan called Sabretooth. Poor Logan; Moose thanked God he had been spared the sight of her after she had been freed from Sabretooth's clutches. Logan had gone out with him only once in the few weeks since she'd been gone. He had gotten smashingly drunk, and when Moose brought him back to his own loft to allow him to sleep it off, Logan had broken and told him what Jubilee had looked like as she fell from the bridge. The mental picture was horrible enough; Moose didn't want to have the actual image of her like that in his mind for the rest of his life.

"I miss ya," he said, his voice rough from the tears he refused to shed. "I miss ya a lot, little Lady. All da guys at Rex's been askin' 'bout you; I ain't had the nerve ta tell them yer gone. I ain't had the nerve ta tell myself yer gone. It's as if, if I don't say it, I can make it like it ain't happened, like yer gonna walk back inta my life one day like ya never left." He paused, to swallow down the lump in his throat, and went on. "I never told ya I got my will changed. Never told ya you were gonna git everything I had when I died. I loved ya, little lady. First I wanted ta get wit' ya, 'cause ya were so much like my ol' girlfriend, but I realized yer heart was full'a somebody else, and ya ain't the type ta love anybody halfway. So ya sorta became my little sister; I wanted ta look out fer ya like ya was my sister, like the baby sister I always wanted but never had.

"I loved ya, little lady. I really did. Was surprised as hell that ya chose my old barfighting opponent Logan as yer man. I had my doubts in the beginnin', but he took care'a ya, an' ya seemed ta be real happy wit' him. An' I could see he loved ya too. An' just 'tween ya an' me, once I met him an' we got ta talkin', I woudnt'a wanted ta see ya wit' no one else.

"I ain't the religious kind, little Lady, so I don't know where ya are right now, but I hope yer in a better place than this. I'm gonna feel guilty fer the res' o' my life knowin' ya put that damn collar 'round yer neck ta save my rotten life. I wasn't worth it, little Lady. There's a whole housefulla people behind me here mournin' ya. If I died you an Logan'd be da only ones who'd'a missed me." A sob caught in his throat. "Why'd ya do it, little Lady? Dear God, why'd ya do it…" And now the tears did spill down his cheeks, hot tears that burned his wind-reddened cheeks. "I'd give anything, Lady, anything, ta be able ta go back an do that evenin' over. Then ya wouldn't'a died; then I wouldn't have the sounda yer screams echoin' in my head in my nightmares…" And he buried his face in his hands and sobbed.

A slim figure was suddenly in front of him, wrapping arms around him, and he smelled cinnamon and earth as his face was pressed into the warm shoulder. He knew who it was; that warm scent could only come from Jubilee's friend Ororo. And she didn't care that he was supposed to be a big, tough guy who was made of stone and shouldn't cry. His shoulders shook with his sobs as he cried.

Ororo held him in her arms as he cried. It was a terrible image for anyone to carry in their minds; she didn't envy him or Logan one bit, even though she had wished with all her heart when it happened that she had been there too. She could have maybe caught Jubilee before she hit the ice. Jean had been beating herself up over that; if she had been just the tiniest bit faster, she could have caught Jubilee…

But that was then, this was now. They couldn't go back and change anything. She leaned back on her heels and contemplated the man sitting in front of her. "Come inside," she said, tugging him to his feet. "Have a cup of tea with me." She picked up her now-cold cup, sitting forgotten in the snow, and walked back to the house with him.

He sat silently at the kitchen table, watching as she boiled some more water and dropped two tea bags into cups. "I'm sorry," he said finally.

"For what?" She said as she brought the cup over to him.

"F'r…well…cryin' all over ya, an' makin' a scene out there…" he gestured toward the kitchen door.

Ororo laid a hand on his arm. "Do not be sorry," she said. "Everyone deals with grief in their own way, but it helps if you have someone to share it with. We all have each other, here…but you do not, and grief becomes much harder to bear alone. I was wondering when you would come to seek one of us out; Logan told us you have not been yourself of late. We have been worried about you…" she trailed off. "I have been worried about you. You tried so hard not to let me know that day in the hospital room how much her death hurt you, and at the time I was too wrapped up in my own sorrow to pay much attention to yours. Max, if you need to talk, I am here. Please feel free to talk to me." She poured the boiling water into the two mugs and dropped a little silver spoon into his. Grabbing another spoon for herself, she sat down at the table and stirred hers as she asked, "How did you meet her?"

Moose chuckled a bit and stirred his tea. He wasn't usually the tea kind of guy, but the warmth thawed out his chilled hands, and the lovely smile of the silver-haired woman in front of him warmed his heart. "I was at Rex's about a year and a half ago," he said. "She came in lookin' f'r the French dude she hung around with. He was playin' a game'a pool wit' me when his partner bowed out, an' she offered ta play. He was a little concerned; it wasn't till later that I realized he wasn't so much concerned for her losing everything as he was worried that I was gonna beat her up when she won."

Ororo chuckled as she sipped her tea. "Jubilee was good at pool," she said. "She hung around Logan all the time when she was younger; it was to be expected."

"Yeah," Moose grinned ruefully. "I didn' know that when she picked up the stick. She started off with real easy shots, at first, missed some'a them, made herself look like an amateur. I cleaned her and the Cajun boy out--"

"Who you callin' boy, eh, homme?" Remy growled as he came into the kitchen. Ororo turned as he settled into a chair beside her.

"Ah, cool yer jets," Moose waved a hand at him. "Jus' tellin' Ororo here how the little Lady an' I first met."

"Ah," Remy said, sitting back in his chair, a smile settling on his lips. "Go right on 'head, den." He got up and got a glass of water from the sink.

"So anyway," Moose said after a slant-eyed look at the Cajun, "He an' the little Lady played a coupla games, an' I cleaned the both'a 'em out. She asked me fer one more game. I was gonna decline; but she challenged me, an' there wasn't no way I was gonna let a little thing like her challenge me in front'a my friends an' not take her up. She put her little gold necklace down on the edge of the table an' talked me inta the game. Big mistake. I shoulda quit while I was ahead." He took a sip of the beverage in front if him, and said, "She cleaned me out. Started off with a coupla trick shots I'd only seen professionals do; an' it all went downhill from there. I lost everythin' I won that night in one game."

"Well, I got mad. Really mad. Y'know, I'd always promised myself I'd never hit a woman, but I was so mad I don' think I know what I was doin'. I think I was madder at myself for gettin' fleeced than I was 'bout losin' my money. I wasn't really thinkin' clearly when I hauled off an swung at her. I ain't never hit a woman before, an' I never will. Lucky me, she ducked quick enough to slip under my arm. My punch hit the guy standin' right behind her, an' he got mad. "'Hit a woman, will ya?' he says. 'I'll teach ya.' I was so stunned at what I did that he got in a few good punches 'fore I got myself free o' him. I looked aroun' fer her, but she'd gathered up the money she won an' hightailed it outta there."

Remy laughed. "Yeah, she was goin' pretty fast when she left," he chuckled. "Den she be laughin' all de way back. She insist on goin' back de nex' night. We run inta you dere again t'ree nights later, an' she apologized." He grinned amiably at Moose. "Was s'prised as heck when she say she soory f'r fleecin' you. Was even more s'prised when you say it was okay. She bought all o' us drinks dat night, if I r'member correct, an' you two been frien's after dat." He sobered. "I know you don' like me, homme, so after dat when I take her to de bar I check to see if you dere. If you dere, I know you goin' to take care o' her, so dat's why I leave. She tol' me once you say you t'ink I don' like you; dat not true, mon ami. I like you fine; I jus' t'ink maybe you don' like me, an' I stay away 'cause I didn' want her to ruin her evenin' playing referee between us."

Moose looked at him as he put down his cup. "Well, this seems to be a night for revelations. It's not that I didn't like ya, it was that I didn't think ya were right fer her. Ya liked that li'l red-head, what's-her-name, Sal, back at Fastlane, an she and the little Lady were so completely different, I couldn't imagine ya an Jubilee bein' wit' each other like dat. She jus' not yer type, Cajun."

"Hey," Remy said, standing up, his muscles tensing, "You not de one to be tellin' me who I like or don' like, okay, she like me fine. An' ain't no time I ever t'ought o' her like dat. She too young, an' Logan be my bes' friend. I wouldn' take her from him, even if she'd let me. An' wasn't nice f'r you to try take her neither.""

"Easy, Remy," Ororo stood and put a hand on his arm. "Come on. Jubilee would not want the two of you fighting like this. She thought of you as her big brother, Max, she told me so once. And Remy was never anything but a very good friend."

"I always wanted a little sister like her," Moose said suddenly, so wistfully that Remy and Ororo both looked at him in surprise. "I was an only child; an' a disappointment ta my parents at that. There were times when I did treat her as my little sister; but she never seemed to min'…" his voice trailed off as he stared into his cup, thinking about the girl he'd loved.

* * *

Logan…

The voice intruded on his dreams, causing him to turn restlessly in bed. He missed the owner of that voice; missed her so much it was a real, physical pain in his chest. He knew what a broken heart felt like, now; because his was most definitely broken. He never dreamed he'd miss his little firecracker so much.

Logan…

He bit down on his fist, muffling the soft moan that threatened to escape him as he rolled over again, tangling the sheet around his legs. He hugged the pillow against him, staring at the flowered fabric. "Ah, Jubes," he whispered, his hand going to the tiny sapphire and diamond ring hanging on the chain around his neck that his dog tags clinked softly against. "Why'd ya have ta leave me? Why? I loved ya, I could have pulled ya up. I would have risked gettin' pulled inta the river ta save ya. Ya didn't have ta sacrifice yerself fer me. Oh, Jubes…" and he buried his face in the pillow again; not crying, because he'd cried so much over the last couple of weeks he felt empty. There were no tears left. "How'm I gonna live without ya?"

Logan… he suddenly heard. Her voice, as he'd been hearing in his sleep so often the last two weeks, but it was so clear that he almost felt like she was still there beside him in the bed.

"Jubes?" he sat up, staring around the room. "Jubes?"

Logan, help me, came the soft voice again, and he stared into the darkness in disbelief. The voice wasn't audible; it was coming from the place deep in his mind where the link Jubilee had planted in his mind lay. He reached inside himself for that link, as Jean had taught him to what seemed like a lifetime ago, but found it quiet. That silver thread lay limp, severed from its owner. Because she was dead. She was dead, and he would never see her again, except perhaps when spring thawed out the river and the police finally found her body.

He lay back down in bed despondently, covering himself with the blanket, and hugged her pillow to him again. He had to keep telling himself she was dead, or he would start to listen to that traitorous voice in his head that was telling him she might still be alive somewhere…

* * *

Ororo listened as Logan's breath evened out from where she stood in the bathroom across from his room door, but her mind wasn't on him. Max had just left, after a long discussion about Jubilee's friendship with both of them.

She had loved Jubilee like a little sister; she had never suspected, through all the stories Jubilee had told her about her friend, that he had felt the same thing for her. There was much more to the big man than she'd realized, and he was in desperate need of comfort. She hadn't suspected that he felt Jubilee's loss so deeply, and she felt a little guilty now. She had her friends here at the mansion; who did he have? Logan was too immersed in his own grief to pay much attention to anyone else's, and the type of friends he had weren't likely to feel a great deal of sympathy for him, or feel any deep grief for someone they hadn't known. They would say 'sorry' and keep going, leaving him alone.

Tomorrow she would ask Logan for his address. Perhaps some company would help him cheer up; and she wanted to hear more about his relationship to Jubilee. With that thought in mind, she climbed the stairs to her attic and slipped between the cool sheets of her bed. In no time at all she was asleep.