Title: Divine Interruption (5/6)
Author: Cyclone
Feedback: Please be gentle.
Distribution: Gimme credit and a link. Plus, archived at http://fanfiction.net/profile.php?userid=62966 or http://fanfiction.net/~cyclone
Rating: I'm gonna go say PG.
Spoilers: Up to season two of Buffy and anything in the Herc/Xenaverse.
Disclaimer: The characters depicted herein belong to the other people. I'm just borrowing them for a while.
Summary: Xander gets some "help" from a goddess. Sequel to Reminiscence.
Author's Note: I _was_ planning on skipping to the Judge story arc, but...
* * *
"Hello, Cupid," Xander said. He glanced at the others and said, "Let me handle this, okay?"
"Xander," Giles protested, "I hardly think..."
"I mean it, Giles," Xander growled. He looked at Cupid and nodded to Giles's office, "What say we take this somewhere private, Cupid, hmm?"
The god glanced down at the diagram marked on the floor, and Xander nodded, reaching out with his foot and scrubbing away part of the binding pattern.
Cupid entered Giles's office, Xander a step behind. Xander closed the door behind them and turned.
"Okay, Cupid, just _what_ did your mother do?" Xander asked, aggravated.
Cupid scowled, "She stole my bow. She doesn't know how to use it, and she fired off four of my arrows before giving up."
Xander closed his eyes and groaned, "And when we thought it was a spell and tried to reverse it, that just tangled it up even more."
"Yeah, that's about the size of it."
"Can you still reverse it?"
"I think so."
Xander's face split into a grin, "Great!"
"But I won't."
"What?" Xander sputtered. "Why not? Do you have any idea what kinda nightmare my life's been since this happened?"
Cupid whirled on him, "Because Mom needs to learn some responsibility, to face the consequences of her actions."
"That's great," Xander hissed, "but _she's_ not facing them. _I_ am!"
"Then _you_ talk to her," Cupid snapped. Looking up, he called, "MOM!"
In a shower of pink and gold light, Aphrodite appeared, hands on her hips and what passed for a stern expression on her face as she looked at Cupid.
"What?"
Cupid pointed wordlessly at Xander, and 'Dite's gaze tracked over, then she grinned, "Hey, kiddo, how you doin'?"
"My life is a nightmare, thanks to you," Xander said with obviously false cheer, "and your son refuses to fix it."
"Yes, well," 'Dite stalled, "we'll fix that, won't we, sweetie?"
Cupid merely folded his arms.
'Dite let out a small growl.
Xander sighed, "You know what, Cupid? You want your mother to learn some responsibility, right?"
"Yeah."
He looked at Aphrodite as an idea occurred to him, and he nodded slowly. "Okay, you're gods, right? Well, Cupid, could you, say, create a simulated world, with its own population?"
"Yeah," Cupid said hesitantly, "but it would take me forever to populate a world like that."
"Could you use a template?"
Cupid nodded and asked, "Where are you going with this?"
"Well, I heard about this comic series. Japanese comics, actually. In it, the characters have their love lives all screwed up. I figure, if your mother can fix _their_ problems, then she's learned something, right?"
"Hey, wait a minute..." 'Dite frowned.
Xander looked at her, "C'mon, 'Dite, a little matchmaking should be a piece of cake for the goddess of love, right?"
Cupid and 'Dite looked at each other for a long moment, then turned to look at him.
"So what's this comic series called?" Cupid asked.
"It's called Ranma One-Half."
* * *
Xander listened as the phone on the other end rang.
Click.
//Hello?//
"Hey, Herc, you were right."
//Xander! Uh, right about what?//
Xander grinned, "The Earth _is_ round."
Hercules laughed.
//Took you long enough to admit it. It's good to hear your voice again.//
"Yeah," Xander shrugged, forgetting for a moment that the demigod couldn't see him. "I just felt kinda leery, y'know? I mean, I've _got_ a new life now, Herc. I'm not... I'm not Iolaus anymore."
//Yes, you are, Xander,// Hercules replied. //New friends, new family, but when I see you, I still see my friend.//
"And _that's_ why I never called," Xander said softly. "You've got to stop seeing me as Iolaus. Things are different now, Herc."
//All right. I guess I understand,// the demigod said. //Does this mean you'll keep in touch?//
"Yeah," Xander said. "Yeah, I think I will. Kinda hard not to with your relatives dropping by."
//_What_?//
"Hey, kiddo."
Xander looked up, "Uh, hold on, Herc. 'Dite just dropped by."
//_WHAT_?!?//
"What is it, 'Dite? How's the little game going?"
"Frustrating," she growled, then calmed herself. "I'm here to talk about you, Curly. I did this for a reason."
"And that reason is...?"
"Didn't you wonder why Willow wasn't affected?"
Xander blinked. "Huh. Now that you mention it, yeah. Same with Cordy."
'Dite waved that off. "_That_ one has some serious emotional repression issues. She hid it, but good. Willow, now _that_ girl... she wasn't affected 'cause she already loves you."
Xander blinked again.
She leaned over and whispered in his ear, "And here's a little secret. Remember Xena's little buddy, Gabby? She's her reincarnation."
With a grin, the goddess of love straightened up, winked, and teleported away.
//Xander! Xander, are you there?//
He numbly brought the phone to his ear, "Yeah, Herc, I'm here. I'll, uh, I'll call ya back. I've got some... thinking to do."
* * *
Author's Postscript:
_Finally_, I'll be able to get to the W/X I've been working towards, come next part.
Author: Cyclone
Feedback: Please be gentle.
Distribution: Gimme credit and a link. Plus, archived at http://fanfiction.net/profile.php?userid=62966 or http://fanfiction.net/~cyclone
Rating: I'm gonna go say PG.
Spoilers: Up to season two of Buffy and anything in the Herc/Xenaverse.
Disclaimer: The characters depicted herein belong to the other people. I'm just borrowing them for a while.
Summary: Xander gets some "help" from a goddess. Sequel to Reminiscence.
Author's Note: I _was_ planning on skipping to the Judge story arc, but...
* * *
"Hello, Cupid," Xander said. He glanced at the others and said, "Let me handle this, okay?"
"Xander," Giles protested, "I hardly think..."
"I mean it, Giles," Xander growled. He looked at Cupid and nodded to Giles's office, "What say we take this somewhere private, Cupid, hmm?"
The god glanced down at the diagram marked on the floor, and Xander nodded, reaching out with his foot and scrubbing away part of the binding pattern.
Cupid entered Giles's office, Xander a step behind. Xander closed the door behind them and turned.
"Okay, Cupid, just _what_ did your mother do?" Xander asked, aggravated.
Cupid scowled, "She stole my bow. She doesn't know how to use it, and she fired off four of my arrows before giving up."
Xander closed his eyes and groaned, "And when we thought it was a spell and tried to reverse it, that just tangled it up even more."
"Yeah, that's about the size of it."
"Can you still reverse it?"
"I think so."
Xander's face split into a grin, "Great!"
"But I won't."
"What?" Xander sputtered. "Why not? Do you have any idea what kinda nightmare my life's been since this happened?"
Cupid whirled on him, "Because Mom needs to learn some responsibility, to face the consequences of her actions."
"That's great," Xander hissed, "but _she's_ not facing them. _I_ am!"
"Then _you_ talk to her," Cupid snapped. Looking up, he called, "MOM!"
In a shower of pink and gold light, Aphrodite appeared, hands on her hips and what passed for a stern expression on her face as she looked at Cupid.
"What?"
Cupid pointed wordlessly at Xander, and 'Dite's gaze tracked over, then she grinned, "Hey, kiddo, how you doin'?"
"My life is a nightmare, thanks to you," Xander said with obviously false cheer, "and your son refuses to fix it."
"Yes, well," 'Dite stalled, "we'll fix that, won't we, sweetie?"
Cupid merely folded his arms.
'Dite let out a small growl.
Xander sighed, "You know what, Cupid? You want your mother to learn some responsibility, right?"
"Yeah."
He looked at Aphrodite as an idea occurred to him, and he nodded slowly. "Okay, you're gods, right? Well, Cupid, could you, say, create a simulated world, with its own population?"
"Yeah," Cupid said hesitantly, "but it would take me forever to populate a world like that."
"Could you use a template?"
Cupid nodded and asked, "Where are you going with this?"
"Well, I heard about this comic series. Japanese comics, actually. In it, the characters have their love lives all screwed up. I figure, if your mother can fix _their_ problems, then she's learned something, right?"
"Hey, wait a minute..." 'Dite frowned.
Xander looked at her, "C'mon, 'Dite, a little matchmaking should be a piece of cake for the goddess of love, right?"
Cupid and 'Dite looked at each other for a long moment, then turned to look at him.
"So what's this comic series called?" Cupid asked.
"It's called Ranma One-Half."
* * *
Xander listened as the phone on the other end rang.
Click.
//Hello?//
"Hey, Herc, you were right."
//Xander! Uh, right about what?//
Xander grinned, "The Earth _is_ round."
Hercules laughed.
//Took you long enough to admit it. It's good to hear your voice again.//
"Yeah," Xander shrugged, forgetting for a moment that the demigod couldn't see him. "I just felt kinda leery, y'know? I mean, I've _got_ a new life now, Herc. I'm not... I'm not Iolaus anymore."
//Yes, you are, Xander,// Hercules replied. //New friends, new family, but when I see you, I still see my friend.//
"And _that's_ why I never called," Xander said softly. "You've got to stop seeing me as Iolaus. Things are different now, Herc."
//All right. I guess I understand,// the demigod said. //Does this mean you'll keep in touch?//
"Yeah," Xander said. "Yeah, I think I will. Kinda hard not to with your relatives dropping by."
//_What_?//
"Hey, kiddo."
Xander looked up, "Uh, hold on, Herc. 'Dite just dropped by."
//_WHAT_?!?//
"What is it, 'Dite? How's the little game going?"
"Frustrating," she growled, then calmed herself. "I'm here to talk about you, Curly. I did this for a reason."
"And that reason is...?"
"Didn't you wonder why Willow wasn't affected?"
Xander blinked. "Huh. Now that you mention it, yeah. Same with Cordy."
'Dite waved that off. "_That_ one has some serious emotional repression issues. She hid it, but good. Willow, now _that_ girl... she wasn't affected 'cause she already loves you."
Xander blinked again.
She leaned over and whispered in his ear, "And here's a little secret. Remember Xena's little buddy, Gabby? She's her reincarnation."
With a grin, the goddess of love straightened up, winked, and teleported away.
//Xander! Xander, are you there?//
He numbly brought the phone to his ear, "Yeah, Herc, I'm here. I'll, uh, I'll call ya back. I've got some... thinking to do."
* * *
Author's Postscript:
_Finally_, I'll be able to get to the W/X I've been working towards, come next part.