Author's Note: Konnichiwa minna-san!!! Sorry for the long time of updating again!!! Finally, I've realized I'm indeed a slow updater. It's just that I'm too busy. SORRY!!!! REALLY REALLY SORRY!!! I'm still glad though that you've waited patiently and you're still actually reading this. I thought you wouldn't. Being to pessimistic huh? Anyway, I've changed my pen name again. Sorry 'bout that. It just that I wasn't too comfortable with Lil V especially when people are still addressing me as Rave so I decided to return to that name but adding something more to it so that I won't have anyone with the same name. My new pen name is LUNE RAVE. I promise you guys this will be the last time I'll be changing my pen name. Promise!!! I hope you guys understand...
Btw, THANK YOU VERY MUCH to all those who reviewed. You guys don't know how you made me totally happy and inspired. Like I promised, I'll be answering your reviews from those who reviewed from Chapter 6 up to the poll. Btw, thanks also to those who replied or voted to the poll. Your ideas really helped me but like I told you, it was only a basis. I've got some plans here already. Hope you'll like them. Just read it for yourself and judge it okay. So, here are the replies:
aki: Thanks for informing me about your other email ad. Well, thanks for commenting too about the last chap's lenght. Well, I hope this one will already satisfy you. Btw, Thanks for reviewing and continue reading!
jam: Of course I won't forget you jam-san!!! I still have your cell no. in my address book. Btw, I'm sorry if it took me time to update this. Hope you like this chap! Sank Yuu!!!
Hibiki-chan: Sorry to keep you waiting for so long. You know I was very busy with my studies these past few days. Btw, thanx for emailing me. I don't know what anime you're talking 'bout really. Never watched it before. Well, thanks for the suggestion though. I hope the events here will satisfy you somehow. Sank Yuu!!! Ja!!!
eLoQueNce27: Sorry if the events made you so shocked. That was really intended to happen. Anyway, thanx for giving out your opinion, just read this chap and you'll see. Btw, I reall want to know who that person was. I thank him / her for telling you bout my fic. I'm really flattered. Sank Yuu!!! ^^
Abby: Oi!!! Thank you, Abby-chan!!! I'll already remove our fic because we both don't have time for it. Arigato for encouraging me and helping me to continue this fic. Sank Yuu!!!
Ice Queen/Raven: Wow, you've got a lot of questions. Anyway, I'll try to answer all your questions. About the poll, just read this chap to find out. Well, Sensen kissed his sister since he was drunk and he didn't know what he was doing anymore. I hope my explanation was enough. And btw, thanx for supporting me!!!
jenjen: thanks for reviewing and voting for the poll. Thank you too for supporting me and my fic. Just read this chap to see what happens okay? Sank Yuu!!!
Pure Assassin: Arigato for voting Pure Assassin-san!!! Um, I guess you're right. It's up to me. But you guys will see which choice won in the poll. Just read this chap ok? ^^ Sank Yuu!!!
yutaka: EH, sorry for updating very slow. And, btw, just read to see what happens. Another thing, please don't smirk like that, it's freaking me out!!! Ah!!! I'm scared!!! Gomen...^^ Well, then sank Yuu!!!
Ryu-chan: Wow!!! VERY SHORT review Ryu-chan!!! Arigato!!! Just read this chap k? ^^
sspanchan: Sorry for updating so slow. yeah, I know that's indeed very romantic. Well, we'll see bout that. Just read this chap and find out. Sank Yuu!!!
Foxx Chii: Arigato Foxx Chii-san!!! I really love your poem. It's really good. You know you made me so much flattered. I hope you continue reading this till the end. You know this fic can't go on forever since everything has an end. Well, hope you like this chap!!! sank Yuu!!!
just_a_stranger: Now, I think I know who you are. But of course, I won't tell. Anyway, Arigato for reviewing!!! ^^
Thank you minna-san for reviewing and still reading my fic. I hope you guys stay with me and support me till the last 2 chapters of my fic. Yes, 2 chaps to go and this will end. The next chap is the last one and after that is an epilogue. I want to take this opportunity to thank all who supported me and reviewed. You don't know how you made me happy guys, especially considering this is my first fic ever. I hope you'll continue to support me on the nxt fics I'll be writing. ARIGATO GOZAIMASU!!!
You First Believed
by: ~Lune Rave~
Standard Disclaimers Applied
Chapter 8: Tears...
~Sendoh's POV~
I sigh heavily as I down the filled glass of beer before me. Yes, I've arrived in Kyoto, and upon arriving; I strolled around and ended in this bar. I couldn't help but drink. Now, I understand why some people drink themselves to sleep when they have problems, it makes someone feel better. It makes someone forget everything around him. Whatever it may be. May it be the people or the places, what matters to him is only himself. No more, No Less…
I continued drinking until I was totally drunk and really unconscious of what I was already doing. I walked myself home vomiting occasionally in the street and singing this stupid and drunken song. My head hurts so much that I can't afford to keep in a conscious state. But despite this, I was able to reach home.
Unconscious of what I was doing, I walked into my sister's room instead of my room. I fell on her bed, which made her jump in surprise. Still in a dazed state, I reach for her and pin her on the bed. My shirt was already thrown in the floor and I was kissing her nonstop while mouthing Kaede's name. I really am not aware of what I'm doing when suddenly I heard the door of the room bang. I snapped out of my reverie and even my sister stopped struggling. I turn to the direction of the door to see who it was... and… the person surprised me to the ends of my hair…the person was…Kaede…
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
~Rukawa's POV~
Upon arriving Kyoto, I hurriedly got off the train and made my way to the address Koshino gave me without even bothering to take a cab. I was walking so fast - no, I was running - like a desperate child looking for his lost parents. I didn't mind the people staring at me in awe (for seeing a very famous and talk-of-town superstar walking like a plain person on the road); in shock or in whatsoever emotions they could show. What mattered most for me was to see Akira. That was all.
I just don't understand but the faster I run, the more I feel time getting slower and longer making me even more desperate to see HIM. My mind's so much filled with him. Everything I do, I imagine Akira, everywhere I go, I see his image, whatever I do, I imagine him doing it too. Sometimes it just makes me wonder, why is Akira in everything I see? I just can't erase him out of my head. Is this the real desperation for love and the need to be held and cared for by him that I kept for so long? Are these the feelings I tried to push away that almost made my heart and soul explode? I can't take it anymore…please… I need you now Akira…like it used to be before…
I made a sudden stop as I reached a huge and old-fashioned mansion in the heart of Kyoto. The mansion was beautiful. It reminded me of Japan a long time ago, but more of a modernized type that is. The house looked very comfy and the sight was breathtaking. I took a step back to have a better view of the house. There were a lot of windows making it hard for me to figure which window belonged to Akira's room. I took a deep breath and went near the gate to ring the bell. 'Can I really do this?' I thought stopping a few inches away from the button that will ring the bell. 'I've decided about this already. Besides, its too late to turn back.' I heaved a heavy sigh before I pressed the button. I waited for a few minutes, but no one answered. I pressed the button again. This time longer and harder. Still, no answer. I repeated it one last time. This time really long like a fire bell with a tone of irritation present in the desperate sounds emitted by the bell. I still waited patiently despite the sudden darkening of the clouds. The weather was drastically changing from sunny to cloudy. Bad signs are coming...
Getting very impatient, I pry open the mansion's majestic gates. To my shock, the gates flung easily. That's when I figured, they weren't locked. When I was already inside, I observed the surroundings. It was all too quiet. No disturbing sound of any creature or human could be heard. Just the faint sounds of the earth echoed in my ears. It was soothing to the soul. I closed my eyes and thought for a while. 'Maybe Akira's sleeping. Should I disturb him? What will he say with me coming all the way here this early?[1] What if...' And then as if on cue, I heard a scream split the air. I swiftly opened my eyes and looked around trying to decipher where the sound came from. I turned my head several times trying to find the source of the scream. Tension and worry circulated allover my body and run through my veins. My heart was starting to pick up a very heavy pace. A pace telling me something was wrong...definitely...wrong...
I quickly turned to my heels to run inside the house. Finally I've figured that the voice earlier came from inside. I entered the main door in a breeze. It was left unlocked too. It made me even more worried. 'What was going on?' From the first floor where I was, nothing seems to be unusual. The lights were all off and all the things were in order. It was hard to see things and check. Thanks to my good night vision, I was able to reach out for the lights and with a click, sudden brightness filled the whole room. I observed the place. 'Nothing seems wrong. So what's with the scream?' As if answering my questions, I heard the pleas again. This time it was not more of pleas to me but orders. They were clearer yet I couldn't actually tell what the order was. But one thing's for sure. They were coming from the second floor.
Slowly, I made my way to the dimly lighted staircase and went up in a very slow rhythm. I was scared, to tell the truth. The more I inched closer to the rooms, the rapid my heartbeat goes. The tension in my blood was rising to a level I can't take. When my feet landed on the second floor, a wave of strong emotions filled my heart and my soul. Something was telling me not to move on. I guess my feelings are giving some sort of prediction. Yet, another part of me wants to move on. I need to know if everything's okay. I need to know what's going on if ever there is. I just need to know to wash away this worry I'm feeling right now. I inched closer into the room where I heard the sounds. Beads of sweat started to roll down my cheeks as I stepped one foot after the other. The feeling of something bad was getting worse. I clutched my chest in an attempt to calm my racing heart out of worry...and fear?
The door I was walking to was only a few inches away. The door was slightly open and the muffled sounds continued to come out of the door. What bothered me was that they were...they were...a...woman's voice...I walked a few more steps when finally I was directly in front of the door. All the feelings I got a while ago were getting worse. They were already to my limit. After heaving a heavy sigh, inhaling deeply to calm all my worries and fear away, and gathering up my courage I fixed myself and prepared to see what was bound behind the door. With trembling hands, I slowly opened the door, and the sight I saw made my heart break...to pieces...to fragments...and...to totally...disappear...
Akira was in bed with someone I definitely don't know. They were in a very embarassing position. Akira...was right on top of her...with nothing on except for his pants. The girl...she was in her nightgown...struggling beneath him. Realization hit him. Akira was having...having...an affair with someone...and worse he forced her...I can't believe this...I must be dreaming... How could this be?! No...
"This...can't...be..."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
~Sendoh's POV~
"This...can't...be..."
I swiftly turned around as I heard that very familiar voice of the beholder of my heart, Kaede Rukawa, standing at my doorway carrying a very shocked expression on his face. I quickly got off the bed realizing the situation I was in. 'OH...MY...GOD...'
I knew that very moment I was in big danger. I didn't mean to do that. I was drunk, DAMNIT! I looked at Kaede, he still had that expression. I got very worried and fear and realization started to hit me hard. Kaede thought I was fucking some other girl here after the proposal where he rejected me. He thinks I'm just really playing with his feelings after all. He thinks I'm a big playboy who does this and that out of mere fun. DAMNIT! I quickly fixed myself and walked slowly over him. I noticed the swift change of his expression and he started to back off as I came in closer. It pained me. He doesn't believe me anymore...
"Kaede, allow me to explain." I said my voice wavering.
Kaede looked up at me in disbelief. Tears were starting to form in the corner of his eyes but he didn't cry. A piercing pain stabbed my chest. Kaede shook his head nonstop whilst backing off. "Please Kaede, allow me to explain. You've thought it all wrong!" I said my voice quivering even more as my eyes felt watery.
Kaede just stared at me and cupped his ears. "I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT ANYMORE!!!" he shouted turning to his heels and fleeing out of the house. It took me a few seconds to register what actually happened. "Fuck!" I cursed running down the stairs and out of the house after him. He was running very fast and I was having a hard time in catching up. Finally, I was able to reach him when we were already in the backyard. I grabbed his wrist and spun him around to face me. I spoke as fast as I could as the winds outside started to pick up speed and black clouds were coloring the sky in darkness and grief.
"Kaede, you thought it all wrong! Listen to me. I was drunk! I wasn't conscious of what I was doing anymore! Please Kaede listen to me! Believe me please!" I said tightening my grip on his wrists; afraid to let go. I don't want to lose him. I don't want to. I've lost him once; I will never take it if it happens again. Never...so please...just...
"I DON'T NEED YOUR EXPLANATIONS ANYMORE!!! I SAW EVERYTHING WITH MY VERY OWN EYES!!! LET ME GO!!!" Kaede said trying to pull his wrist away from my strong grip.
"NO KAEDE! LISTEN TO ME FIRST!!! PLEASE!!! I BEG YOU!!!"
Some steps back and more struggling. "NO!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!! YOU'RE JUST PLAYING WITH MY FEELINGS!!! I KNEW IT ALL ALONG! I THOUGHT YOU REALLY LOVED ME, BUT I WAS WRONG, TOTALLY WRONG!!! YOU WEREN'T SERIOUS IN THE FIRST PLACE!!! I knew I shouldn't have left Ania..." Kaede paused before smirking sarcastically. "Come to think of it! I came here to FINALLY, FINALLY ACCEPT YOUR LOVE! And THIS, THIS IS WHAT I SEE...I'm SO STUPID!!! Now, LET ME GO, YOU BASTARD!!!"
And those painful words pierced through my heart like a sword ripping a heart into two and creating a big hole. I lost his love...and trust again. It was my fault...
My hands dropped lifeless beside me after those words came out. I was hurt deeply. I never knew that I would be the reason behind the pain now. I never knew... Kaede looked up one last time at me still with that same cold expression he had a while ago before turning to his heels again and running away under the dark sky...
But then, another feeling filled me within. I know I just can't stand seeing him leave like that. I just can't. I don't want to lose him truly...Being with him has given me eternal happiness...Happiness I know no one can ever give. With him, I felt so much saved and so much loves. And with him, I felt so much whole, so much being me and not pretending. He taught me how to be me...I need him...He is my life...
I want you to stay,
Never go away from me.
Stay forever...
And before I knew it, I was on my feet...running after my one true love...
It was a chase. We ran after each other passing corners, streets, dark alleyways, restaurants, and houses. I was hot on his heels like we were when our teams are fighting against each other in court. My eyes never left his trail. But then, fate seemed to have been hard to both of us. I saw him not far away, stopping in a shop renting cars. By instinct, I knew exactly what he was planning to do. I ran faster. No... I can't let him walk out of my life truly. I'll surely die if he leaves me...I will...
But before I even reached the shop, I saw a car emerge from the shop's gate and sped off in a rapid speed. Right then and there I knew who was in the car. I knew it was hopeless but I ran after the car. I ran giving up all my energy just to reach the car. "KAEDE!!! KAEDE WAIT!!!" I shouted running faster. I was able to reach the car but only the back part. I was tapping on the side hard whilst shouting for him to stop and listen to me first. I knew I was making a big fuss now but I didn't care. I didn't mind if people would shout at me and tell me to keep quiet or look at me as if I was crazy, all that mattered was for Kaede to listen to me, hear me out, and trust me again. The sound of thunder was already filling the air, covering my shouts and making it into silent whispers in the air. Everything was starting to vanish...to fade... And as seconds passed, the car moved farther and farther before it fully disappeared from my sight. I noticed my pace slowing down too before I tripped and fell on the ground...that's when tears started coming out of my eyes and staining my cheeks. The rain started pouring too... hard...the sky was crying and grieving for our excruciating fate... Not only were my cheeks stained but my heart as well. My eyes weren't the only one crying but my soul and heart...they were bleeding...crying for my love...which now I lost...
And now, now that you're gone,
All I can do is pray for you,
To be here beside me.
Why did you have to leave me?
When you said that love will conquer all.
Why did you have to leave me?
When you said that dreaming was as good as reality...
...a broken destiny...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
~Rukawa's POV~
My heart is bleeding now. Bleeding to a point I'll die anytime soon. I can't accept the reality I've seen a while ago. I never thought that all along what I thought were real were in fact lies. I've learned to love Akira with all my heart. I never found a person whom I shared my feelings with. I never found someone like him who understood me inside out. Who took me in as who I really am. He never judged me. He thought me how it was to believe in myself. He showed me the truth about what I really wanted. He opened my heart. But what I didn't know, he will also be the one to let me feel pain. He will also be the one who will show me lies. And... he will also be the one who will close my heart once more...and this time...I know I can never open it to anybody again...even to him...
And now I must move on
Trying to forget all the memories
Of you near me
But I can't let go of your love
That has taught me to hold on...
I stopped the car by the sidewalk as these thoughts flowed endlessly all throughout my head. Outside, the rain was pouring hard and wild. It was like the heavens were also crying for me. Crying from someone who now felt so alone, so much hurt, and dying inside. Yes, I was indeed crying. Tears flowed endlessly like rain down my face. I cupped my face with my hands. I really can't stop the pain. I'll cry and cry for Akira now, only now...and next time, I promise never to shed a single tear for him anymore. Never...
If loving someone is feeling pain similar to death, then it is better that I would never love anymore... I can't afford to love anymore after this...I won't. Akira, you'll be the last...I'll forget for my sake and for your sake as well.
I want you to stay
Never go away from me
Stay forever...
But now,now that you're gone
All I can do is pray for you
To be here beside me again
And so, The rain continued pouring outside as I sat here in a car crying my heart out. Crying till my tears run dry for the only man I loved and will ever love...the same man who carved a deep wound in my heart that will never heal...the same man I'm shedding my tears only for...Akira Sendoh...
I want you to stay never go away
from me, stay forever
I want to stay but I have to go my way...
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
- 3 days later in Ryonan High-
"What d'you think is wrong with Akira? He hasn't been attending practice for 3 days now."
Ikegami sighed. "I don't know Hikoichi. But whatever it is, I'm sure it's bothering him. Don't you know anything Koshino?" he asked turning to the said person.
Koshino shook his head. "I'm afraid not. I'm trying to contact him at home but no one's answering the phone. I'm getting worried. He might do something crazy."
"Why don't you try to drop by later?"
"All of the other members smiled at the suggestion. "Okay. I'll drop by them then I'll inform you if I learned anything."
"Sure." everyone answered before returning to resume their afternoon practice.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
~Sendoh's POV~
This is the third day that I didn't attend practice and go to school. I didn't even eat since that day. I didn't do anything but to lie here in my bed and stare at the ceiling. I know I'll starve myself to death if I continue this but if that was to be then all the better. Cause now I've already died inside. My reason for living has left me. He walked out of my life with me doing nothing but to stare. I've been crying now, for 3 days in a row. I've been crying even though my tears have already dried up. I'll cry until I'll die...Kaede...please come back...
*Knock. Knock.*
The faint knocking on my door startled me. I growled slightly before saying coldly, "Leave me alone!!! How many times do I have to tell you not to bother me!!!" But then, the knocking went on, this time louder. "Can't you understand what I said a while ago!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" I said raising my voice even more. But still, whoever was behind the door was still persistent. He / She continued knocking nonstop. My patience reached its limit. I quickly stood up and angrily flung the door open. " I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE!!! CAN'T YOU SEE —" But then the person standing by my door made me stop shouting for he shouted back at me.
"What's wrong with you Akira?! Why are you so hot-tempered anyway! And why didn't you go to school?! You've been away for 3 days! And I even heard from the maids you weren't eating anything! What's wrong with you, huh?! Tell me! Spit it out!!!" Koshino said placing a foot inside and walking slowly into my room as I started to step backwards as well.
But, I was just not in the best mood today. In fact, my mood today is worse. You'll never imagine me in this mood, ever. I shouted back at him. I just wasn't in the mood to talk nor see anyone for all I wanted to see was him...only HIM. "IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!!!"
"NONE OF MY BUSINESS?! Why, Akira, it IS!!! I'm your best friend!!!" Koshino paused before an idea popped out from his head. He sighed and walked over the bed to sit on it. Silence. He slowly looked up to stare at me. I, on the other hand, was looking out the window with a sullen expression etched on my face. I still can't stop thinking and recalling everything that happened. It was definitely the most painful day in my life. Then finally, he chose that moment to speak. "It has something to do with Rukawa right?"
My head immediately shot up at the mention of the name. 'How did he know? Did news spread that fast? I know I never told anyone and I know Kaede would never tell anyone as well. But, how come?' Koshino just sighed. "It's about HIM isn't it? So, what happened?" I just continued staring at my best friend in disbelief before asking the question that's been bothering me all the while. "How did you know?"
"Duh~. You know Akira, it's too obvious. No one can make you so happy and so sad like he does. Remember when you cried just because you were jealous, huh? I was the one there so I knew what feelings he could bring out in you that others can't. Can't you even see and realize that?"
I finally smiled after 3 days although the smile was a sad one. "No. I guess I was stupid then."
Koshino smiled. "Good thing you know. So, what're you going to do?"
"Huh? What d'you mean?"
"Duh~ Don't tell me you're planning to lock yourself here for days and just cry and cry till you can."
"What the— How'd you knew I was...crying...these days?"
"Duh~ Uh...I'm tired of saying that word all the time. Anyway, you're eyes are swollen, baka!"
I laughed before walking to the bed and sitting beside him. "Thank you for coming Kosh. You don't know how lonely I've been these past days." I started playing with my fingers before looking up to stare at the wall. Then I started telling him what exactly happened. When I was finished, my eyes were even puffy and red than before. My cheeks were stained wet while my hands were clasped tightly together. Yes, while telling Kosh everything, I couldn't help but cry. Every time I remember those events I can't help but shed a single tear. It was so painful that I always feel the wound bleeding every now and then, hurting my soul and my heart.
After wiping my tears using the back of my hand, I looked up at Koshino and smiled. "I'm sorry Kosh. I just can't help it." Koshino looked at me sadly. "Sorry. I didn't know. Besides it can't be helped."
After that silence ensued. I guess both of us were thinking. In my part, I was indeed thinking. I loved the silence. It made me feel so much comfortable. Because of the silence I was able to think and to ponder on certain things. I'd also want to thank Kosh for being silent. I knew he understood me and he wanted to give me time and space to think somehow. He's really a good friend. But then, I must concentrate on what to do, on what to tell Kaede to win his heart back. Then suddenly an idea popped from my head.
"Kosh." I started breaking the silence. My best friend looked up at me questioningly. "What?" he answered.
"I've thought about everything and I finally realized I need to do something. If I don't I'll really lose Kaede. I realized that I shouldn't just be sitting here and crying all day because if I do, it's like I'm finally giving up to my fate. I think it's about time I do what I really want and not let destiny dictate everything for me."
Koshino smiled. " I'm glad you finally realized things Akira. Who knows, he might be waiting for you. So, what're you planning to do?"
"I'm planning to explain everything to him, but I don't have the courage to do so. Besides, i don't think he'll ever want to see me. So, could you help me out? Just be like a messenger for me. Please?"
Koshino sighed. "Oh, alright. But this is just for once Akira. I'm doing this as your best friend. So tell me what do you plan to do? I'll try to do my part in the best way I could so you could stop bothering me."
I smiled. "Thank you Kosh. Thank you. So, here's the plan..."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
-The next day, Shohoku High-
"Rukawa's extremely quiet these past few days." Kogure observed.
"Isn't he ALWAYS QUIET?" Sakuragi snorted.
"Baka!" Ayako interrupted whacking the redhead with her paper fan. "What Kogure-sempai is trying to say is that he seems so sad and spaced-out all the time. He just plays and plays and he rarely rests. It's as if he's thinking deeply about something."
"Eh? And what could that be?" Mitsui asked.
"That we don't know. Of course we can't force him to tell us that. Besides —" Kogure's sentence was cut short when Yasuda came in to interrupt. "What is it Yasuda?"
"Sendoh and together with one of Ryonan's players are here. They said they wanted to talk to Rukawa."
"Huh? Why?" Miyagi asked suspiciously.
"I don't know. They said it was important."
"Okay then. I'll call him." Akagi said.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
~Rukawa's POV~
"Rukawa!!! Rukawa!!! You've got visitors!!!" I heard Akagi-san shouting at me. 'Visitors? But who could they be?' I was about to walk towards them after making a successful slam-dunk but I stopped myself from doing so. 'I think I have an idea who these visitors could be...' So, instead of walking towards them, I pretended not to hear anything. I just dribbled the ball and prepared to make another shot.
"Oi Rukawa!!! You got visitors!!!" This time it was Mitsui-san calling on me. But still I didn't walk towards them I still pretended not to hear a single word. I made a jump shot and watched it dribble back to the floor.
~Normal POV~
"What's wrong with him?" Ayako said confused. By this time, Sendoh and Koshino were already outside the gym's door. Koshino was standing outside watching Rukawa while Sendoh leaned back on the wall just outside the door listening to Rukawa' footsteps and the sound of the ball dribbling.
"Kosh. I told you so. He knows we're the ones looking for him and he won't come to see me."
Koshino sighed heavily. "Well, he has to. You're not giving up, right? "
"But I think it's—"
"Stop it, okay? I agreed on doing this for you. There's no backing of now. He has to listen to me, if he won't then I'll force him." With that said, Koshino entered the gym angrily.
"Matte Kosh!!!" Sendoh shouted back but it was too late for he was already inside.
~Rukawa's POV~
"Oi, Rukawa!!!" I was startled by the sound of someone shouting my name. I definitely know who owns that voice. I didn't have to look to know. The voice was way far familiar. It was Sendoh's best friend, Koshino Hiroaki.
"Oi! Even though you don't want to listen, I'll talk! And you have no choice left but to listen because I'm the only one speaking here. Listen, I cam here because Akira asked me to. He wanted to give you something. He simply can't do it because he's afraid to face you. He's afraid you won't listen to him. So, I'm the one doing this. I don't care if you're listening to all my babbling here but all I want you to do is to get this and read this. After that, I won't bother you anymore."
Silence followed as Kosino stood there waiting for my answer. Well, everyone was. But like I told myself and Akira before, I don't need explanation anymore. I don't want to hear anything from him again. I'm afraid he'll play with my feelings again. I don't want to get hurt anymore. I'd rather die alone and craving for his love than die having my heart bleeding all the time of pain. So, I did what I was supposed to do. I faced him but I didn't walk over. I glared hard at him before speaking. "I WON'T take that. Now, go. You're just wasting your time." Cold strings were laced in my words.
Everyone looked at me in disbelief. I just glared at them all. I didn't care what they were going to say. Besides they never felt what I did. They don't know how it is to be hurt like that. The pain was so intense. If they were in my position I guess they'd do the same. Can they stop staring at me like that? If they go on, I might not be able to take it. I might...break down...
~Sendoh's POV~
I sighed heavily as I leaned my head back the wall. My fists were secured by my sides. I was just listening to the conversation inside. I can't go there and talk to him personally. I might hurt him more and lose his trust on me more. I knew all along Rukawa wouldn't accept my explanations anymore. I knew I lost him truly. But what can I do? This is the only way I know. He just needs to listen to me. Even just once, it will be enough, If after the explanations he still won't listen to me, then I won't bother him any longer but if he changes his mind...I'll do everything to regain his trust... Everything just don't leave me...
~Rukawa's POV~
The events seemed to have happened so fast. First thing I knew, I was arguing with Koshino through words. he was forcing me to accept something which I on the other hand, was so stubborn to do so. Then, I guess his patience reached to the limit for before I knew it, a fist connected with my cheek and I was thrown to the other side of the room. Shrieks of surprise and disbelief filled the room. I slowly stood up to wipe the small trail of blood down the side of my mouth. In an instant Ayako and Kogure-sempai were right beside me helping me up.
"Daijobou ka, Rukawa-kun?" Our vice-captain asked.
I just nodded absentmindedly at him before looking across to see Koshino calming down. "Stop being so stubborn Rukawa!" he started waling over to our direction. " Why can't you listen to Akira's explanations?! I know that if I were in your position, seeing Akira in a room with someone, I'd be shocked too. Who wouldn't? Seeing their love in bed with someone. But the situation was different." He was halfway towards me. The gym was silent. Only Koshino's voice could be heard. "Akira got drunk that night thinking of you. You didn't know how many days he thought about the time you rejected him. Since he was drunk, he didn't know what he was doing any longer. Instead of entering his room, he got into his sister's room who happened to be present at that time. That was when you came in. Can't you see you've judged wrong?" By this time, he was already standing right in front of me. "Now, I'm sorry if I have done that. It's just that you won't listen. Here, Akira wants to give you this. I'll just leave this here." Koshino placed a big paper bag in front of me. "It's up to you if you would open it or not. But now, at least you know the truth. I'll leave now. I'm sorry 'bout the mess." Koshinp started walking away towards the gym door. My eyes were glued to his back. When he was at the door, I noticed a very familiar silhouette hidden behind the door. The silhouette of the only person who caught my heart...Akira Sendoh. I saw him make a small gesture of apology before his figure slowly disappeared before my sight.
The gym remained silent even though the heated event was done. Kogure-san stood up and picked the paper bag from the floor to hand it to me. "I think Rukawa-kun you should take this. It's not that I'm butting in your business but I guess you need to listen to him." I looked confused at the vice-captain before I nodded in gratitude. They were good friends. I just took them for granted. Ayako-san helped me to stand up. When I was already on my feet, I thanked them and excused myself to the locker room tagging the bag along with me.
I sat on one of the long benches found inside the room. Slowly and quietly, I opened the paper bag, revealing a big white teddy bear inside with a red ribbon tied around his neck. In his paws, he was holding an envelope with the words 'IM' SORRY' imprinted in big, black, and bold letters. I felt my eyes stinging but I wasn't crying. I placed the bear on my lap, its face facing me. That was when I noticed a small bottle attached to the ribbon at the side of his neck. I detached the bottle from the ribbon and found a letter inside it. I started reading its contents. It said:
Dearest Kaede,
I'm sorry for all the things I've done to you. I know you're fed up of me being so childish and stupid. I'm sorry for trying to break you and Ania up. It was just that I was jealous. You just don't know Kaede but I love you so much. I can't tell you and show you how much I do because you always turn your back on me. I tried it once but you rejected me. I was hurt, yes, indeed I was. But I can't force you to love me if you really can't right? Now, for me, seeing you happy is all that matters. When you're happy, I'm happy as well. But I couldn't take it seeing you cry and in pain because of me. I'm sure by now, Koshino explained to you what really happened. I told him not to because I want to be the one to do that but knowing him, I know he can't stop his temper. I hope you understand everything now, Kaede. I didn't mean to hurt you. If ever you cried, I'm sorry. Kaede, I just want you to know I love you so much. I don't expect you to love me back. It's your decision to do so. If you still love me, I'll be happy to accept your love. But if you don't it'll be fine. But I hope we can start allover again. Remember like we used to do before? I hope you can still be my best friend. I'm really sorry Kaede. Forgive me. Allow me please, to offer this poem for you:
I look out, but see no sun
I turn around, to see you run
Could you be flying?
Angel I see you trying
I call you down
I see you frown
I'd just hold you tight
For I wish you'd stay; strong
In what you believe, you always fight
I see you smile, light in your eyes
I dry my tears, moments pass
your light embrace my heart
Angel, I now know that fire in your eyes, never cries... never lies...
...never dies...
Lovingly yours,
Akira
I clutched the letter tightly to my chest as I cried hard. My tears flowed endlessly down my face wetting the paper. When I opened the letter, I noticed some parts had steaks or marks of tears that run dry. Akira was crying too when he was writing this. I don't know what to say. I'm speechless. I knew I was the one wrong. I didn't trust him, instead I judged him beforehand. But even so, he was still the one saying sorry, when I was the one who was supposed to say that. I shouldn't have said such harsh words on him. I pushed him away. Now, all I want to do is be mad at myself for acting such. I just want to shout to the world how much I love you Akira. I knew it all along but I ignored it. Now, Both of us are hurt. I'm sorry Akira. I'm sorry.
I embraced the bear tightly crying hard in its chest 'Akira, you're still my best friend. You'll always be. There was no one else who filled my heart the same way you did. No one can replace you in my heart, for you are the only reason why I'm still striving to live. If you hadn't entered in my life, I would have died a long time ago. But, you saved me. You won't only remain as my best friend but d'you know what? You're my one and only love. You're the only person I'll ever give my heart to...No one but you...'
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
~Normal POV~
"What should we do? We should comfort him." Kogure-sempai said sadly .
All of the Shohoku's team members were outside the locker room's door. Everyone saw the ace break down. They pitied him. It was the first time they ever saw Rukawa love and be loved in return. They knew that whomever Rukawa will love will be lucky for he will give his whole heart out to that person. They knew all along that Sendoh was the right person fro Rukawa. Ever since he came into Rukawa's life, the young ace has changed. he finally found happiness. He found someone whom he can show his heart to. They knew Rukawa's heart was big and filled with love, It's just that he was too afraid to release them and to show them for he was afraid to get hurt. Now, he's experienced all of the things he feared. As friends, they wanted to do something.
"But who will go?" Miyagi asked looking over the locker's door as he watched the ace from the corner of his eye. He sighed. "One of us who is close to him should go."
Everyone exchanged glances when finally Ayajko spoke up. "I'd go. I knew Rukawa since Junior High and he sees ma more of a sister than a teammate. " Everyone agreed. And so, after inhaling deeply and convincing everyone to just leave the locker room and everything in her hands, she walked in to give the ace the comfort he needed.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
~Rukawa's POV~
My head immediately shot up when I heard footsteps coming my way. I looked up to see Ayako-san walking to my direction. She sat down beside me. And without even a word, I rested my head on her shoulder and cried even more. Ayako-san patted me lightly on the the back while her other hand was on my shoulder to support me. Ayako has always been good to me. She treated me like her younger brother that was why I always looked up at her as an elder sister.
"Shh...Just cry Rukawa. Bring all of the pain out...Don't hesitate...You can cry as long as you want..."
And so, I continued crying for about 3 more minutes while Ayako kept on comforting g me. Then when I felt better, I stopped and sat back up to look at her. "Thank you, Ayako-san."
"Your welcome. So d'you feel better now?"
I nodded . "Un."
Ayako smiled. "That's good. So what are you planning to do? You're not going to leave everything like this aren't you? I'm sure you've cried long enough to think about what to do."
I nodded again averting my gaze to the bear I was clutching all the time. I embraced it tight and placed it close to my chest while resting my chin on its head. "I thought about it already. Could I ask you a favor Ayako-san?" I asked looking at her.
"Sure. What is it?"
"Could you help me in my plan to tell Akira what I truly feel?"
Ayako smiled. "My pleasure."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
~Tsuzuku~
Author's Note: At Last!!! I finished Chapter 8!!! So, how'd you guys find it? It was sad isn't it. But aren't you happy that Kae-chan has finally made up his mind to tell Aki-chan what he truly feels? I can't wait to write that! Oh, btw, THANK YOU FOXX CHII for the poem!!! D'you guys remember the poem written at the end of Akira's letter? Foxx Chii-san contributed that! Thank You!!! So, minna-san if you want to know what'll happen next, press that little button below to review. I might not update if you don't review. So, see you all on next chap! Ja!
~Lune RaVe~
Note: Hey Guys!!! I forgot to tell you! Can you give me a suggestion as to what symbol would be appropriate for Ruru and Sensen. For example, a silver ring, a black cross earring, or a meteor necklace, etc. Anything! Please give me a suggestion. I can't really think of anything really unique and cute. I'll place the person who has the best suggestion as one of the additional characters in the next chaps! So, if you have ideas, tell me! Thank You!
Next Chapter Trailer: Kaede's planning something reall y big for Akira. What could it be? Can he finally tell his feelings to him? Can he find courage? Read and find out on the LAST CHAPTER of 'YOU FIRST BELIEVED' (Don't worry guys, there's still an epilogue ^^)
Next Chapter Title: You First Believed