Britz-So it's late, so sue me this halloween ends now! Gods have mercy on my soul.
~Chapter Twenty~
All nearby creatures, large and small, living and dead had turned their gaze to Ash, "Uhh, Jake, I think I'm gonna hand the crown back to you." He slowly sheathed his shotgun
[I thought you knew what you were doing!] He yelled panicked.
"Fine be like that, I wasn't expecting quite all the zombies, you see that Visser bloke you're after?"
[Right, over, there.] Marco said.
"The centaur's pretty-boy cousin? Okay, why not? Somebody try and get him while the rest of us kill everything else."
[Good plan.] Rachel drawled, it was tricky to tell wether she was being sarcastic or not.
"Go!"
All four burst towards the milling crowds of aliens, zombies and alien zombies. Rachel barrelled through them like they were bowling pins, railroad spike claws shredding dead men left and right, Marco began pounding cinderblock fists with little regard of what was on the receiving end, Ash jumped into the fray punching and kicking, pulling his chainsaw out as he went, Jake pounced knocking a Hork-Bajir to the ground and made for the Visser.
A group of zombies surrounded a group of Taxxons, tearing them apart like wet bags of garbage, steaming alien blood and guts washing over the rocky ground till one final living one was left buried in the burst bodies of his brethren going mad with fear and overpowering hunger.
"Can't we jussst sssssplit it?" He asked the human zombie looming over him, it reached for him just as an enormous mountain of fur grew up behind him, casting both him and his hapless victim in shadow, the zombie began to turn when a swinging paw knocked him flying into a broken and busted heap of bones, Rachel tore apart the other zombies surrounding the gore, making short work of the living dead.
"Thankssss much, I thought I wasssss a goner." The Taxxon grinned its toothy circular mouth (don't ask how.) Rachel's eyes narrowed, two seconds later the Taxxon's head tore from it's body, flew through the air and splatted to the rocky ground not far from the reinfestation wharf "Sssshould have ssssseen that one coming."
Zombies flew left and right [This one's for the title!] Marco yelled and he swung a left hook into the side of a human zombies face, the creature's head spun about like a top till it reached up and grabbed it, [Wow, that was so cool.] Marco remarked.
"Yeah, but what a crick in the neck." The zombie said and its head dropped off its neck backwards. Marco began to giggle girlishly when the air was cut by a screaming "Rrrrrreeeek!!!" He turned about, a mutant Taxxon with wings sprouting from its slimey centipede sides slapped wetly into him and knocked him on his ass.
[Wha?] Little mutant Taxxons, like leeches with wings fluttered around his "Reek, reek, reek, reek..." Marco waved them away and got back to his feet, the flying monstrosity came for another pass, Marco's fist whistled through the air...
The flying freak hit the ground and rolled, squelching in all sorts of unpleasant ways. It steadied itself and came again, this time scuttling along the ground, it reared up, bloated and huge as the Goodyear blimp to body slam him Marco's meaty cinderblock fist lashed out, the force of the punch tore through the Taxxon's skin and buried his hand past the furry wrist in bug flesh
[Ewww.] He groaned as black blood flowed out of the wound matting down his black hair, He pulled it out, his hand was holding something, a blackish-purple alien heart.
He held his blood dripping hand out, palm up to the Taxxon "Lose something?" The big Taxxon whimpered and cocked it's head like a quizzical dog then lowered it's mouth and gobbled up the still beating heart, Marco turned his head, grimacing in disgust, then giggled [Heheh, his tongue tickles.] He drew back his arm and saw his middle finger was missing, just a stub of bone squirting blood remained, Marco paled.
The zombie Taxxon's red jelly eyes had gone wide "Haaack, haaack!" it gestured wildly with it's little lobster claws and flapped it's wings but to no avail, it gave one final groan and thudded to the rocky ground, Marco looked down at it cautiously.
[Well whaddaya know? We've burned 'em, we've shot 'em, we've sliced them into itty bitty pieces but in the end all you need to do kill the bastards is to give them the finger!]
Metal hit bone and the zombie's head went up in a puff of bust and bone, Ash drew back, swung around and high kicked another, ribs caved in it stumbled back and fell into the murky water of the Yeerk pool.
"I'll ssssswallow your ssssoul! I'll ssssswallow your ssssoul!" Hissed a fast approaching zombie Taxxon, backing him up another human zombie was coming fast, Ash whipped around with his boomstick.
He jammed the barrel into the creature's gullet till its shape could be made poking out the back of the bug's head "Swallow this." He pulled the trigger and the back of the Taxxons head exploded into mush, the shot continued on and took off the other zombies head, both dropped.
Ash sheathed the gun as he turned to a living Hork-Bajir's approach, he pounded it's abs with his left hand and laid it out with a right uppercut, it fell with a clatter of blades, another Hork-Bajir controller approached and Ash swatted him away with a fearsome right, behind him the ground seemed to shake, He turned, Three bulging, cut Hork-Bajir with blue armbands stood there bladed arms folded.
'Whick! Whick! Whick!' their blades cut the air, narrowly missing one another, they swept out with their tails and kicked in the air in perfect succession then stopped and crossed their bulging arms again, the middle one laughed, growling and deep.
"Ahh, Fuck." Ash grabbed his shotgun. Chik, BOOM! Chik, BOOM! Chik, BOOM! He sheathed it and turned away, dusting his hands and whistling, the elite Hork-Bajir warriors stood there in shock for a moment, then simultaneously dropped down dead.
Jake's tiger morph zigged and the Visser zagged, his tail blade sparked off the rocky ground, they circled each other, Jake taking a half hearted swipe at the air and growling deep in his throat.
"Braiiiins, braiiiiiins!" A rotted zombie jogging at them barked, they turned and the Visser's tail whipped out, the zombie's left arm was cleaved off at the shoulder, so old was the body the arm hit the ground without a speck of blood, "Oh no, how am I going to operate my digital watch now?" The zombie inquired before Jake knocked him to the ground and swiped his head off his shoulders.
Jake slinked back around to the Visser, he backed up as the Andalite controller approached. "I'll swallow your soul!" yelled a Hork-Bajir zombie behind him, Jake turned and with a vicious hook clawed the creatures guts out, Visser Three walked closer, looking from the wounded zombie to the tiger morph, tail twitching.
Decision made it flew out catching the Hork-Bajir in the shoulder and cutting diagonally down through it to its waist, gurgling blood it slid apart, Jake regarded the Visser with caution.
Finally Visser Three sighed, [Andalite bandit, though you and I are sworn enemies, I find myself, how you say, up shit creek without possession of a paddle, or canoe for that matter.]
Jake stayed silent but nodded his blocky tiger head.
[I suggest a truce between us.] The Visser continued, [We join forces until such point as these zombies are eradicated.]
From the nearby entrance that Ash had blown came a gentle 'clip-clop, clip-clop' as a haggard looking slight figure stepped down the stairs.
[Alright Visser.] Jake said finally, [But no killing, shake?] He offered with frying pan sized paw, the Visser accepted it with his many-figured hand and they shook.
[Am I interrupting something?] Rasped a dark, evil voice that scraped in every fighters head like sandpaper across their frontal lobe, all eyes turned.
Quietly his trotted over the rocky ground, shin bone showing through on his front right leg, flesh hanging oddly in patches.
[Ax?] Jake asked amazed, [What happened to you?]
[I died.] He answered simply, [It hurts Jake, I can feel myself rotting, but I know what will make it stop.]
[What's that?] Marco asked.
[Making you alllll dead like me, and forming a new group of fighters, where I'm in charge, not just some convenient plot piece to be used and discarded at will, not just some plucky pitiful comic relief, Ax can be the boss man.]
[He's crazy, that'll never work!] Jake lamented to the others, [He was born an awkward plot device and so he shall remain!]
Visser Three breathed deeply and exhaled [You need to find my top scientist, Steve, knowing that lush he'll be in the Pool bar right about now, you find him and find out what can stop these zombie bastards once and for all.]
[What are you going to do?] Jake asked wide-eyed.
The Visser's four eyes got steely and he cracked his many knuckles, [I'm gonna take out the trash.] And he charged, galloping towards zombie Ax, tail blades clanged together.
[Run away! Run away!] Jake yelled and the others took off through the zombie-clogged cavern.
"There's the bar!" Ash yelled, pointing to a building imbedded into the rock wall with a neon sign declaring it 'Flaming Kijet 256s' He snatched his chainsaw up from the ground where it had dropped in battle and it roared through a zombies midsection as he ran.
Their twin tails had become mere blurs of blue and bone as the Visser and the Zombie duelled, Visser Three's tail sunk into the soft dead flesh of Ax's shoulders, blood trickled from the wound as he pulled back, Ax did not slow, he flicked out and the Visser's neatly severed stalk eye twirled through the air.
Visser Three roared with pain, his remaining eyes squinting with the pain, he made a half hearted lunge with his tail and Ax struck again, catching the Visser's lower tail, it chopped in half, Visser Three's hoofs skittered on the floor as he stumbled back, lost in a haze of shock.
Ax smiled with his demonic glowing eyes, [Sorry old man, but you lose.] Ax's tail made one final arc catching the Visser just under the armpit and tearing across his torso, rips crunching and blood spurting. Ax drew back satisfied, Visser Three hit the ground like a sack of doorknobs, the light in his eyes faded and died with one final gasp.
[Rock, and roll, for.... Ever...]
~Chapter Twenty One~
Steve settled himself onto the polished barstool, "Hi Lloyd, little slow tonight isn't it?" He gestured to the otherwise empty bar.
"Yeah well there are all those zombies outside Mr Hannen." Lloyd replied drably, he didn't much care for serving the Visser brilliant but drunk top scientist.
"Don't ask, don't tell Lloyd my man." Steve attempted to tap his nose knowingly but the gesture was beyond his present motor skills and his hand instead made dizzying circles in front of his eyes.
"What'll it be?"
"Now I'm awfully glad you asked me that Lloyd." Steve admitted, "Raising the dead is thirsty work you should know so here's what you're gonna do, you slip me a bottle of Bourbon, a glass and some ice, you can do that can't you Lloyd? You're not to busy, are you?" He brayed drunken laughter and gestured to the empty bar once more.
Lloyd scowled "No sir, I'm not busy at all." He began to make the scientist's drink.
"That's swell. I like you, Lloyd, I always liked you, you were always the best of them, best goddamned bartender from Timbuktu to Portland Maine, Portland Neptune for that matter."
"So kind of you to say so."
The bar door flew open with a bang as a tiger pounced through nearly knocking it off his hinges, Lloyd stumbled back into the shelves of bottles behind him, Steve looked around slowly in delayed surprise, following up the tiger a gorilla knuckled walked through the door and stumbled about the linoleum floor, as the door began to swing shut an even bigger mound of fur, this time a grizzly bear squeezed it's mass through the door frame, the empty bar was now becoming very crowded indeed.
Finally, almost an anti climatic invader, a human, swearing and yelling madly as the zombies closed in, wielding a buzzing chainsaw stumbled backwards through the door and slammed it shut with his free hand then slid the lock and bolts into place.
[Steve Hannen?] Jake asked.
"That's my name Garfield, don't go wearing it out." He went to take a drink of Bourbon but Ash stepped over and knocked the glass out his hand to the floor, Ash's metal gauntlet grabbed the collar of his shirt and hauled him against the bar.
"Alright Steve, we're gonna have us a little Q&A session, and any time I don't like one of you answers." He brandished his chainsaw, "I'm gonna cut something off, do I make myself clear?"
Steve squinted, Ash could smell the fumes of alcohol on his breath but thought he had gotten through, Steve's face lit up "Anybody ever tell you ya look like that King of thieves guy from 'Xena'?"
"Oh damn." Marco laughed a little, Ash eyed him.
[Well you kinda do.]
Steve now squinted at Marco, "And you must be Magilla, y'know ya look kinda like my first wife, only petite."
The zombie crowds milling about in front of the Yeerk bar parted as zombie Ax made his way to the door, he rapped lightly on the oak.
[Little pigs, little pigs, let me come in.] He crooned.
[No. Fuck off.] Marco called from the other side.
[Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house in!] Ax taunted, he drew back his tail.
Inside all were quiet then something banged against the door, a little hole splintered and they all jumped, Ax drew back and struck again his tail blade poked through this time.
Ash turned back to Steve, "Play time's over, we need to know now, how do you stop these zombies."
"Well you, uh, destroy the brain is your best option, or fire, fire works pretty good." Steve mumbled, thinking.
[No, how do you kill them all en masse?] Rachel snarled.
"Ohh, like destroying the virus animating them maybe?" Steve asked, "Well golly that's easy, sunlight will do the job, a little daylight will knock the virus right out of 'em."
[Daylight? DAYLIGHT?] Marco exclaimed.
"Yah-huh, what do you think I am stupid? Dusk til dawn fail safe so there's none of that messy zombies taking over the world shit to deal with."
[Mess him up a little Ash.] Rachel said angrily, but they all winced as Ax's tail blade finally broke a hole completely through the door.
"What time is it?" Ash growled, shaking Steve, Steve shakily checked his wristwatch.
"Going on five-thirty." He replied, "Wow I should get back, I told my AA meeting I was just stepping out to get everyone some coffee."
[Dawn.] Jake practically whispered.
All over the little seaside town of..... Animorphs... Place, the rays of the sun swept through the zombie littered streets, they crumpled as the virus that animated them was forcibly expelled from their bodies.
Mutants fell and huddled in the gutters in pain, sneezing violently as the virus was expelled from their bodies, evidence of their mutation flaring and melting away, the Jonson sisters walked hand in hand down the pavement then shrieked as the sun hit their bodies, sneezing madly then looked up and smiled, demonic glow and deathly pallor lost.
"Guuuh." Cassie declared, nose dripping and sneezed one final time, dust particles floated in the sunlight in front of her eyes.
Tobias shook himself awake, "Oy, I'll second that." He looked down at his body, "Jesus, what the hell happened last night? My memory's shot, my entire body is bald as, well, a plucked chicken and my ass hurts like nobody's business."
"Oh, I've been there." Grunted Ben.
"Yeah well that's great for the town and the world and all." Ash said, breaking the others out of that weird cut scene and back to reality, "But it doesn't help us, how are we supposed to get sunlight down here?"
Jake's tiger eyes brightened [Fear not, for I have a cunning plan!]
[Oh Hell I think we'll take anything right about now.] Marco sighed, [What is it?]
[The Dracon cannons, serious firepower, they've got them lined all around the edges, we fight through the zombies, get a hold of one and punch a hole right through the ceiling, good morning sunshine.]
[By God I think he's got it!] Rachel exclaimed.
"It's so crazy it just might work." Ash agreed, "Stand back kids."
They watched the battered door, hearts pounding in their ears, Ax's tail flew through and smashed out a panel, he pressed his gruesome zombie face against it.
[Heeeere's...]
"Boomstick!" Ash cut in and jammed the barrel into Ax's face and pulled, Ax flew back teetering on his hind legs, a fine mist of blood wafted through the air, He regained his balance and fell back to all fours, his mouth less face was a speckled bloody ruin, anger blazing in all eyes.
The door swept open, Ash stood there defiant, his chainsaw roared into life, he raised his left hand and pointed at Ax, "It's go time."
Ash took flight towards Ax, chainsaw buzzing from left to right clearing a pathway, zombies fell and drew back, heads and limbs bounced on the rocky floor.
Ax flitted his tail in the path of the smoke belching metal blade as Ash swung to his neck, for a moment their panting faces were nose to nostrils, all eyes involved were narrowed at the opponent, Ash pulled back taking his chainsaw with him, Ax let his tail fly and this time Ash was the one to parry.
The Animorphs came barrelling out of the broken bar door and the fur did fly with fist and claw, Jake pounced on top of a wandering Hork-Bajir zombie, Rachel beat aside several and focused her grainy bear vision, there was a sea of moaning, hungry, dead flesh between her and the closest Dracon cannon.
'Well only one thing to be done.' She thought and lowered herself onto all fours, a zombie got in her way and she grabbed it with her mouth, shook it like a dog with a rag doll and let it fly.
A zombie reduced to a bare bag of bones rolled along the ground and dropped into the pool but Ash and the fearsome zombie Ax paid it no mind as their mismatched blades, one of bone and the other of buzzing steel clashed again and again.
Rachel's bear roared through the zombies, some clung to her fear, biting and scratching but she paid them no mind, an organic tank she burst through their ranks, slamming them aside and rose again to two legs.
A Hork-Bajir blade swiped out with unnatural speed and cut across her gut, she bellowed with pain and simply punched the zombie, knocking its lights well and truly out.
Ash backed down the infestation pier, chainsaw grumbling in readiness, Ax was swinging his tail back and forth in front of him like a cane cutter as he advanced.
[Resistance is futile human.] Ax smiled coldly, [We are unstoppable, we're zombies, it's what we do. Why do you continue to fight even when it is clearly hopeless?]
"We're funny like that, we're humans, it's what we do."
Rachel stumbled on two stumpy grizzly legs towards the machine, half her intestinal track was in the process of slipping out her body and onto the cold, hard ground.
The Dracon cannon operator had died at the controls, sitting in a pool of his own blood, his throat ripped out and the top of his skull of like a flip top, slumped as he was like a big boneless meat puppet Rachel drew back when the corpses face turned to her.
"Hiya toots." It grinned.
Rachel slammed it away with a meaty paw, [Outta the way handsome I ain't got the time.]
Ax's tail blade smacked down unexpectedly on the base of the chainsaw blade and Ash dropped the weapon in surprise, it bounced once and dropped into the Yeerk Pool, reacting without thought he lashed out a right hook, the metal fist dazzling Ax momentarily but the powerful zombie came back and shoved Ash, he came down right at the end of the pier.
Ash looked the zombie from toes to tail in panic as it loomed over him, looking desperately for a weak spot, Ax smiled condescendingly above him and raised his tail.
[The party is, how you say, over human.]
"No way screw head." Ash said through gritted teeth, "The party ain't over till there's only Cinzano left to drink!" A boot lashed out and connected firmly with Ax's right foreleg, the one that looked gnawed on, held together only be interlocking bone.
It snapped apart and Ax's eyes grew wide with surprise as he lost balance, his arms windmilled wildly as he slipped forward and collapsed face first into the murky lead waters of the Pool.
"Hit it!" Ash yelled above the chaos, Rachel's ears twitched as she manipulated the controls clumsily and the cannon angled itself towards the Yeerk Pool roof, a thundering beam of light roared from the barrel and charged through the earth above the pool.
Topside confused and recovering humans watched in sudden terror as an enormous geyser of red light erupted from an empty car cluttered main road and streaked off into the atmosphere.
Ash breathed heavily eyes blurred by the beam's after flash, Ax blew out of the waters, screaming frustration and holding Ash's Excalibur in both hands above his head, he motioned to cut Ash in two when rays of sunshine peeked through the fresh hole in the ceiling and flooded the deep underground with a light it had never before seen the like of.
Marco stopped punching as the zombie in front of him sneezed several times then fell as if struck by the hand of God, all around zombies dropped like plague victims as the sunlight hit their bodies, A Hork-Bajir mutant behind him shrank back to normal, ergo huge, size, devilish goat horns shrinking back into it's head.
"What is..?" Marco slammed a fist into its beak and it fell down cold amongst the zombies.
[Ewww, bodies.] Jake spat a wriggling arm out of his muzzle as it started refusing to clench its hand in protest of being eaten.
[Oh-No!] A-CHOO! [What's] A-CHOO! [Happening to me?] A-CHOO! Ax exclaimed as the sunlight rocked his body, his fingers growing dead once more the buzzing waterlogged chainsaw slipped from his grasp and buried itself right between his stalk eyes, Ash rose and pulled it from Ax's skull before it collapsed beneath the murky grey waves.
"Party's over, asshole."
Rachel morphed back quickly as she dropped back from the controls and ran for Ash as he shoved his chainsaw back in it's scabbard, "Ash! Ash! We did it! We survived against all Vegas long odds!" Her feet seemed to barely touch the pier as she raced towards him.
"Was there ever any doubt?" He wrapped both his arms around her waist and hoisted her into the air, twirling around as he did, "Hail to the king, and his newly appointed queen, baby." He sat her back down and the two kissed, bathed in the new dawn light.
Jake and Marco stood side-by-side, humans once more outside Flaming Kijet's as Steve and Lloyd exited, blinking stupidly at the sunlight.
"Wow, what an ending." Jake commented, Marco smiled and slung an arm around Jake's shoulders.
"You know Jake?" He said as he toed his way around a slowly decomposing body, "I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship."
"What we weren't friends? Cause I.."
~The Merciful End!!.... Almost~
~Chapter Twenty-Two: The Wrap Up~
Overjoyed at discovering Cassie and Co alive and reasonably coherent Jake proposed marriage, Cassie accepted and the pair were wed, nine months later along came baby, a hideous, twisted, plant creature with a cactus for a head (It's a bitch to breast feed) and a rosebush appendix, Jake has his doubts about the baby's lineage but Cassie assures him it's his.
Tobias eventually got over it.
After a heroic twenty cones Ben was finally able to articulate one of the greatest mysteries of man, just how death felt, "Like sleeping with your dumpy secretary in a civil servant job and finding out she uses her teeth, a change of pace in a load of boring shit that you can't decide wether's for better or worse." The New England Medical Journal declined to quote him. His parents still aren't allowing any more parties.
Marco meet up with the now sober, now human Jonson sisters, and completely failed to get off with them.
Ash and Rachel lived happily every after, thank Christ someone did, they are rumoured on a double date with Indiana Jones and Xena, fighting Nazi-zombies in Bora Bora, at least that's what Ben claims Neil Diamond rang and told him right after he got off with the New England Medical Journal. Both are currently Missing In Action after a jaunt through the voodoo infested islands of South America, presumed alive, spunky and sexually compatible.
~We Got There In The Merciful End, For Real This Time~
Britz-Well I'll be damned, we did get there in the end, that was hard, I need to lie down again, and if you've come this far review! You musta gotten something to say by now.
~Chapter Twenty~
All nearby creatures, large and small, living and dead had turned their gaze to Ash, "Uhh, Jake, I think I'm gonna hand the crown back to you." He slowly sheathed his shotgun
[I thought you knew what you were doing!] He yelled panicked.
"Fine be like that, I wasn't expecting quite all the zombies, you see that Visser bloke you're after?"
[Right, over, there.] Marco said.
"The centaur's pretty-boy cousin? Okay, why not? Somebody try and get him while the rest of us kill everything else."
[Good plan.] Rachel drawled, it was tricky to tell wether she was being sarcastic or not.
"Go!"
All four burst towards the milling crowds of aliens, zombies and alien zombies. Rachel barrelled through them like they were bowling pins, railroad spike claws shredding dead men left and right, Marco began pounding cinderblock fists with little regard of what was on the receiving end, Ash jumped into the fray punching and kicking, pulling his chainsaw out as he went, Jake pounced knocking a Hork-Bajir to the ground and made for the Visser.
A group of zombies surrounded a group of Taxxons, tearing them apart like wet bags of garbage, steaming alien blood and guts washing over the rocky ground till one final living one was left buried in the burst bodies of his brethren going mad with fear and overpowering hunger.
"Can't we jussst sssssplit it?" He asked the human zombie looming over him, it reached for him just as an enormous mountain of fur grew up behind him, casting both him and his hapless victim in shadow, the zombie began to turn when a swinging paw knocked him flying into a broken and busted heap of bones, Rachel tore apart the other zombies surrounding the gore, making short work of the living dead.
"Thankssss much, I thought I wasssss a goner." The Taxxon grinned its toothy circular mouth (don't ask how.) Rachel's eyes narrowed, two seconds later the Taxxon's head tore from it's body, flew through the air and splatted to the rocky ground not far from the reinfestation wharf "Sssshould have ssssseen that one coming."
Zombies flew left and right [This one's for the title!] Marco yelled and he swung a left hook into the side of a human zombies face, the creature's head spun about like a top till it reached up and grabbed it, [Wow, that was so cool.] Marco remarked.
"Yeah, but what a crick in the neck." The zombie said and its head dropped off its neck backwards. Marco began to giggle girlishly when the air was cut by a screaming "Rrrrrreeeek!!!" He turned about, a mutant Taxxon with wings sprouting from its slimey centipede sides slapped wetly into him and knocked him on his ass.
[Wha?] Little mutant Taxxons, like leeches with wings fluttered around his "Reek, reek, reek, reek..." Marco waved them away and got back to his feet, the flying monstrosity came for another pass, Marco's fist whistled through the air...
The flying freak hit the ground and rolled, squelching in all sorts of unpleasant ways. It steadied itself and came again, this time scuttling along the ground, it reared up, bloated and huge as the Goodyear blimp to body slam him Marco's meaty cinderblock fist lashed out, the force of the punch tore through the Taxxon's skin and buried his hand past the furry wrist in bug flesh
[Ewww.] He groaned as black blood flowed out of the wound matting down his black hair, He pulled it out, his hand was holding something, a blackish-purple alien heart.
He held his blood dripping hand out, palm up to the Taxxon "Lose something?" The big Taxxon whimpered and cocked it's head like a quizzical dog then lowered it's mouth and gobbled up the still beating heart, Marco turned his head, grimacing in disgust, then giggled [Heheh, his tongue tickles.] He drew back his arm and saw his middle finger was missing, just a stub of bone squirting blood remained, Marco paled.
The zombie Taxxon's red jelly eyes had gone wide "Haaack, haaack!" it gestured wildly with it's little lobster claws and flapped it's wings but to no avail, it gave one final groan and thudded to the rocky ground, Marco looked down at it cautiously.
[Well whaddaya know? We've burned 'em, we've shot 'em, we've sliced them into itty bitty pieces but in the end all you need to do kill the bastards is to give them the finger!]
Metal hit bone and the zombie's head went up in a puff of bust and bone, Ash drew back, swung around and high kicked another, ribs caved in it stumbled back and fell into the murky water of the Yeerk pool.
"I'll ssssswallow your ssssoul! I'll ssssswallow your ssssoul!" Hissed a fast approaching zombie Taxxon, backing him up another human zombie was coming fast, Ash whipped around with his boomstick.
He jammed the barrel into the creature's gullet till its shape could be made poking out the back of the bug's head "Swallow this." He pulled the trigger and the back of the Taxxons head exploded into mush, the shot continued on and took off the other zombies head, both dropped.
Ash sheathed the gun as he turned to a living Hork-Bajir's approach, he pounded it's abs with his left hand and laid it out with a right uppercut, it fell with a clatter of blades, another Hork-Bajir controller approached and Ash swatted him away with a fearsome right, behind him the ground seemed to shake, He turned, Three bulging, cut Hork-Bajir with blue armbands stood there bladed arms folded.
'Whick! Whick! Whick!' their blades cut the air, narrowly missing one another, they swept out with their tails and kicked in the air in perfect succession then stopped and crossed their bulging arms again, the middle one laughed, growling and deep.
"Ahh, Fuck." Ash grabbed his shotgun. Chik, BOOM! Chik, BOOM! Chik, BOOM! He sheathed it and turned away, dusting his hands and whistling, the elite Hork-Bajir warriors stood there in shock for a moment, then simultaneously dropped down dead.
Jake's tiger morph zigged and the Visser zagged, his tail blade sparked off the rocky ground, they circled each other, Jake taking a half hearted swipe at the air and growling deep in his throat.
"Braiiiins, braiiiiiins!" A rotted zombie jogging at them barked, they turned and the Visser's tail whipped out, the zombie's left arm was cleaved off at the shoulder, so old was the body the arm hit the ground without a speck of blood, "Oh no, how am I going to operate my digital watch now?" The zombie inquired before Jake knocked him to the ground and swiped his head off his shoulders.
Jake slinked back around to the Visser, he backed up as the Andalite controller approached. "I'll swallow your soul!" yelled a Hork-Bajir zombie behind him, Jake turned and with a vicious hook clawed the creatures guts out, Visser Three walked closer, looking from the wounded zombie to the tiger morph, tail twitching.
Decision made it flew out catching the Hork-Bajir in the shoulder and cutting diagonally down through it to its waist, gurgling blood it slid apart, Jake regarded the Visser with caution.
Finally Visser Three sighed, [Andalite bandit, though you and I are sworn enemies, I find myself, how you say, up shit creek without possession of a paddle, or canoe for that matter.]
Jake stayed silent but nodded his blocky tiger head.
[I suggest a truce between us.] The Visser continued, [We join forces until such point as these zombies are eradicated.]
From the nearby entrance that Ash had blown came a gentle 'clip-clop, clip-clop' as a haggard looking slight figure stepped down the stairs.
[Alright Visser.] Jake said finally, [But no killing, shake?] He offered with frying pan sized paw, the Visser accepted it with his many-figured hand and they shook.
[Am I interrupting something?] Rasped a dark, evil voice that scraped in every fighters head like sandpaper across their frontal lobe, all eyes turned.
Quietly his trotted over the rocky ground, shin bone showing through on his front right leg, flesh hanging oddly in patches.
[Ax?] Jake asked amazed, [What happened to you?]
[I died.] He answered simply, [It hurts Jake, I can feel myself rotting, but I know what will make it stop.]
[What's that?] Marco asked.
[Making you alllll dead like me, and forming a new group of fighters, where I'm in charge, not just some convenient plot piece to be used and discarded at will, not just some plucky pitiful comic relief, Ax can be the boss man.]
[He's crazy, that'll never work!] Jake lamented to the others, [He was born an awkward plot device and so he shall remain!]
Visser Three breathed deeply and exhaled [You need to find my top scientist, Steve, knowing that lush he'll be in the Pool bar right about now, you find him and find out what can stop these zombie bastards once and for all.]
[What are you going to do?] Jake asked wide-eyed.
The Visser's four eyes got steely and he cracked his many knuckles, [I'm gonna take out the trash.] And he charged, galloping towards zombie Ax, tail blades clanged together.
[Run away! Run away!] Jake yelled and the others took off through the zombie-clogged cavern.
"There's the bar!" Ash yelled, pointing to a building imbedded into the rock wall with a neon sign declaring it 'Flaming Kijet 256s' He snatched his chainsaw up from the ground where it had dropped in battle and it roared through a zombies midsection as he ran.
Their twin tails had become mere blurs of blue and bone as the Visser and the Zombie duelled, Visser Three's tail sunk into the soft dead flesh of Ax's shoulders, blood trickled from the wound as he pulled back, Ax did not slow, he flicked out and the Visser's neatly severed stalk eye twirled through the air.
Visser Three roared with pain, his remaining eyes squinting with the pain, he made a half hearted lunge with his tail and Ax struck again, catching the Visser's lower tail, it chopped in half, Visser Three's hoofs skittered on the floor as he stumbled back, lost in a haze of shock.
Ax smiled with his demonic glowing eyes, [Sorry old man, but you lose.] Ax's tail made one final arc catching the Visser just under the armpit and tearing across his torso, rips crunching and blood spurting. Ax drew back satisfied, Visser Three hit the ground like a sack of doorknobs, the light in his eyes faded and died with one final gasp.
[Rock, and roll, for.... Ever...]
~Chapter Twenty One~
Steve settled himself onto the polished barstool, "Hi Lloyd, little slow tonight isn't it?" He gestured to the otherwise empty bar.
"Yeah well there are all those zombies outside Mr Hannen." Lloyd replied drably, he didn't much care for serving the Visser brilliant but drunk top scientist.
"Don't ask, don't tell Lloyd my man." Steve attempted to tap his nose knowingly but the gesture was beyond his present motor skills and his hand instead made dizzying circles in front of his eyes.
"What'll it be?"
"Now I'm awfully glad you asked me that Lloyd." Steve admitted, "Raising the dead is thirsty work you should know so here's what you're gonna do, you slip me a bottle of Bourbon, a glass and some ice, you can do that can't you Lloyd? You're not to busy, are you?" He brayed drunken laughter and gestured to the empty bar once more.
Lloyd scowled "No sir, I'm not busy at all." He began to make the scientist's drink.
"That's swell. I like you, Lloyd, I always liked you, you were always the best of them, best goddamned bartender from Timbuktu to Portland Maine, Portland Neptune for that matter."
"So kind of you to say so."
The bar door flew open with a bang as a tiger pounced through nearly knocking it off his hinges, Lloyd stumbled back into the shelves of bottles behind him, Steve looked around slowly in delayed surprise, following up the tiger a gorilla knuckled walked through the door and stumbled about the linoleum floor, as the door began to swing shut an even bigger mound of fur, this time a grizzly bear squeezed it's mass through the door frame, the empty bar was now becoming very crowded indeed.
Finally, almost an anti climatic invader, a human, swearing and yelling madly as the zombies closed in, wielding a buzzing chainsaw stumbled backwards through the door and slammed it shut with his free hand then slid the lock and bolts into place.
[Steve Hannen?] Jake asked.
"That's my name Garfield, don't go wearing it out." He went to take a drink of Bourbon but Ash stepped over and knocked the glass out his hand to the floor, Ash's metal gauntlet grabbed the collar of his shirt and hauled him against the bar.
"Alright Steve, we're gonna have us a little Q&A session, and any time I don't like one of you answers." He brandished his chainsaw, "I'm gonna cut something off, do I make myself clear?"
Steve squinted, Ash could smell the fumes of alcohol on his breath but thought he had gotten through, Steve's face lit up "Anybody ever tell you ya look like that King of thieves guy from 'Xena'?"
"Oh damn." Marco laughed a little, Ash eyed him.
[Well you kinda do.]
Steve now squinted at Marco, "And you must be Magilla, y'know ya look kinda like my first wife, only petite."
The zombie crowds milling about in front of the Yeerk bar parted as zombie Ax made his way to the door, he rapped lightly on the oak.
[Little pigs, little pigs, let me come in.] He crooned.
[No. Fuck off.] Marco called from the other side.
[Then I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house in!] Ax taunted, he drew back his tail.
Inside all were quiet then something banged against the door, a little hole splintered and they all jumped, Ax drew back and struck again his tail blade poked through this time.
Ash turned back to Steve, "Play time's over, we need to know now, how do you stop these zombies."
"Well you, uh, destroy the brain is your best option, or fire, fire works pretty good." Steve mumbled, thinking.
[No, how do you kill them all en masse?] Rachel snarled.
"Ohh, like destroying the virus animating them maybe?" Steve asked, "Well golly that's easy, sunlight will do the job, a little daylight will knock the virus right out of 'em."
[Daylight? DAYLIGHT?] Marco exclaimed.
"Yah-huh, what do you think I am stupid? Dusk til dawn fail safe so there's none of that messy zombies taking over the world shit to deal with."
[Mess him up a little Ash.] Rachel said angrily, but they all winced as Ax's tail blade finally broke a hole completely through the door.
"What time is it?" Ash growled, shaking Steve, Steve shakily checked his wristwatch.
"Going on five-thirty." He replied, "Wow I should get back, I told my AA meeting I was just stepping out to get everyone some coffee."
[Dawn.] Jake practically whispered.
All over the little seaside town of..... Animorphs... Place, the rays of the sun swept through the zombie littered streets, they crumpled as the virus that animated them was forcibly expelled from their bodies.
Mutants fell and huddled in the gutters in pain, sneezing violently as the virus was expelled from their bodies, evidence of their mutation flaring and melting away, the Jonson sisters walked hand in hand down the pavement then shrieked as the sun hit their bodies, sneezing madly then looked up and smiled, demonic glow and deathly pallor lost.
"Guuuh." Cassie declared, nose dripping and sneezed one final time, dust particles floated in the sunlight in front of her eyes.
Tobias shook himself awake, "Oy, I'll second that." He looked down at his body, "Jesus, what the hell happened last night? My memory's shot, my entire body is bald as, well, a plucked chicken and my ass hurts like nobody's business."
"Oh, I've been there." Grunted Ben.
"Yeah well that's great for the town and the world and all." Ash said, breaking the others out of that weird cut scene and back to reality, "But it doesn't help us, how are we supposed to get sunlight down here?"
Jake's tiger eyes brightened [Fear not, for I have a cunning plan!]
[Oh Hell I think we'll take anything right about now.] Marco sighed, [What is it?]
[The Dracon cannons, serious firepower, they've got them lined all around the edges, we fight through the zombies, get a hold of one and punch a hole right through the ceiling, good morning sunshine.]
[By God I think he's got it!] Rachel exclaimed.
"It's so crazy it just might work." Ash agreed, "Stand back kids."
They watched the battered door, hearts pounding in their ears, Ax's tail flew through and smashed out a panel, he pressed his gruesome zombie face against it.
[Heeeere's...]
"Boomstick!" Ash cut in and jammed the barrel into Ax's face and pulled, Ax flew back teetering on his hind legs, a fine mist of blood wafted through the air, He regained his balance and fell back to all fours, his mouth less face was a speckled bloody ruin, anger blazing in all eyes.
The door swept open, Ash stood there defiant, his chainsaw roared into life, he raised his left hand and pointed at Ax, "It's go time."
Ash took flight towards Ax, chainsaw buzzing from left to right clearing a pathway, zombies fell and drew back, heads and limbs bounced on the rocky floor.
Ax flitted his tail in the path of the smoke belching metal blade as Ash swung to his neck, for a moment their panting faces were nose to nostrils, all eyes involved were narrowed at the opponent, Ash pulled back taking his chainsaw with him, Ax let his tail fly and this time Ash was the one to parry.
The Animorphs came barrelling out of the broken bar door and the fur did fly with fist and claw, Jake pounced on top of a wandering Hork-Bajir zombie, Rachel beat aside several and focused her grainy bear vision, there was a sea of moaning, hungry, dead flesh between her and the closest Dracon cannon.
'Well only one thing to be done.' She thought and lowered herself onto all fours, a zombie got in her way and she grabbed it with her mouth, shook it like a dog with a rag doll and let it fly.
A zombie reduced to a bare bag of bones rolled along the ground and dropped into the pool but Ash and the fearsome zombie Ax paid it no mind as their mismatched blades, one of bone and the other of buzzing steel clashed again and again.
Rachel's bear roared through the zombies, some clung to her fear, biting and scratching but she paid them no mind, an organic tank she burst through their ranks, slamming them aside and rose again to two legs.
A Hork-Bajir blade swiped out with unnatural speed and cut across her gut, she bellowed with pain and simply punched the zombie, knocking its lights well and truly out.
Ash backed down the infestation pier, chainsaw grumbling in readiness, Ax was swinging his tail back and forth in front of him like a cane cutter as he advanced.
[Resistance is futile human.] Ax smiled coldly, [We are unstoppable, we're zombies, it's what we do. Why do you continue to fight even when it is clearly hopeless?]
"We're funny like that, we're humans, it's what we do."
Rachel stumbled on two stumpy grizzly legs towards the machine, half her intestinal track was in the process of slipping out her body and onto the cold, hard ground.
The Dracon cannon operator had died at the controls, sitting in a pool of his own blood, his throat ripped out and the top of his skull of like a flip top, slumped as he was like a big boneless meat puppet Rachel drew back when the corpses face turned to her.
"Hiya toots." It grinned.
Rachel slammed it away with a meaty paw, [Outta the way handsome I ain't got the time.]
Ax's tail blade smacked down unexpectedly on the base of the chainsaw blade and Ash dropped the weapon in surprise, it bounced once and dropped into the Yeerk Pool, reacting without thought he lashed out a right hook, the metal fist dazzling Ax momentarily but the powerful zombie came back and shoved Ash, he came down right at the end of the pier.
Ash looked the zombie from toes to tail in panic as it loomed over him, looking desperately for a weak spot, Ax smiled condescendingly above him and raised his tail.
[The party is, how you say, over human.]
"No way screw head." Ash said through gritted teeth, "The party ain't over till there's only Cinzano left to drink!" A boot lashed out and connected firmly with Ax's right foreleg, the one that looked gnawed on, held together only be interlocking bone.
It snapped apart and Ax's eyes grew wide with surprise as he lost balance, his arms windmilled wildly as he slipped forward and collapsed face first into the murky lead waters of the Pool.
"Hit it!" Ash yelled above the chaos, Rachel's ears twitched as she manipulated the controls clumsily and the cannon angled itself towards the Yeerk Pool roof, a thundering beam of light roared from the barrel and charged through the earth above the pool.
Topside confused and recovering humans watched in sudden terror as an enormous geyser of red light erupted from an empty car cluttered main road and streaked off into the atmosphere.
Ash breathed heavily eyes blurred by the beam's after flash, Ax blew out of the waters, screaming frustration and holding Ash's Excalibur in both hands above his head, he motioned to cut Ash in two when rays of sunshine peeked through the fresh hole in the ceiling and flooded the deep underground with a light it had never before seen the like of.
Marco stopped punching as the zombie in front of him sneezed several times then fell as if struck by the hand of God, all around zombies dropped like plague victims as the sunlight hit their bodies, A Hork-Bajir mutant behind him shrank back to normal, ergo huge, size, devilish goat horns shrinking back into it's head.
"What is..?" Marco slammed a fist into its beak and it fell down cold amongst the zombies.
[Ewww, bodies.] Jake spat a wriggling arm out of his muzzle as it started refusing to clench its hand in protest of being eaten.
[Oh-No!] A-CHOO! [What's] A-CHOO! [Happening to me?] A-CHOO! Ax exclaimed as the sunlight rocked his body, his fingers growing dead once more the buzzing waterlogged chainsaw slipped from his grasp and buried itself right between his stalk eyes, Ash rose and pulled it from Ax's skull before it collapsed beneath the murky grey waves.
"Party's over, asshole."
Rachel morphed back quickly as she dropped back from the controls and ran for Ash as he shoved his chainsaw back in it's scabbard, "Ash! Ash! We did it! We survived against all Vegas long odds!" Her feet seemed to barely touch the pier as she raced towards him.
"Was there ever any doubt?" He wrapped both his arms around her waist and hoisted her into the air, twirling around as he did, "Hail to the king, and his newly appointed queen, baby." He sat her back down and the two kissed, bathed in the new dawn light.
Jake and Marco stood side-by-side, humans once more outside Flaming Kijet's as Steve and Lloyd exited, blinking stupidly at the sunlight.
"Wow, what an ending." Jake commented, Marco smiled and slung an arm around Jake's shoulders.
"You know Jake?" He said as he toed his way around a slowly decomposing body, "I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship."
"What we weren't friends? Cause I.."
~The Merciful End!!.... Almost~
~Chapter Twenty-Two: The Wrap Up~
Overjoyed at discovering Cassie and Co alive and reasonably coherent Jake proposed marriage, Cassie accepted and the pair were wed, nine months later along came baby, a hideous, twisted, plant creature with a cactus for a head (It's a bitch to breast feed) and a rosebush appendix, Jake has his doubts about the baby's lineage but Cassie assures him it's his.
Tobias eventually got over it.
After a heroic twenty cones Ben was finally able to articulate one of the greatest mysteries of man, just how death felt, "Like sleeping with your dumpy secretary in a civil servant job and finding out she uses her teeth, a change of pace in a load of boring shit that you can't decide wether's for better or worse." The New England Medical Journal declined to quote him. His parents still aren't allowing any more parties.
Marco meet up with the now sober, now human Jonson sisters, and completely failed to get off with them.
Ash and Rachel lived happily every after, thank Christ someone did, they are rumoured on a double date with Indiana Jones and Xena, fighting Nazi-zombies in Bora Bora, at least that's what Ben claims Neil Diamond rang and told him right after he got off with the New England Medical Journal. Both are currently Missing In Action after a jaunt through the voodoo infested islands of South America, presumed alive, spunky and sexually compatible.
~We Got There In The Merciful End, For Real This Time~
Britz-Well I'll be damned, we did get there in the end, that was hard, I need to lie down again, and if you've come this far review! You musta gotten something to say by now.