I was sinking, slowly being devoured by hot water that began a numb tingling at my feet and rose up, up, until I was spellbound and drowning. Suffocating with the sheer pleasure of it, the sensation of not being able to breathe or think or hardly move, only succumb to the warmth that enveloped me. Succumb to the burning cravings shooting throughout my body, the utter lack of strength to pull back and stop what would always be in motion. No, don't stop. Kiss her, hold her, cling to her... love her now if only for the night.
Heaven pulled back, breaking the kiss I wished could last forever. But her hands did not leave me, nor did her eyes, and still I could feel the heat radiating from her to burn me, consume me.
"If I thought it were possible Troy," she whispered desperately, tears in her voice, "I would want us to be together like this forever..."
Oh, but it was possible! Possible to escape the knowing eyes of those who were aware our love was sinful. Possible to leave behind all we know and begin anew with only each other. Possible to put aside all guilt we might feel, and remember only our eternal love, the passion that will never be sated, the pure ecstasy we find in each other. We could do that, we could...
But could Heaven bear to break Logan's heart, to desert the husband she claims to love, who loves her? And could she leave Annie motherless in a broken home, or take her away from her roots to live with a new family, the true father who's still a stranger to her? So many others would feel betrayed, disappointed, angered. Oh, there was too much at stake, too many people to be hurt in too many ways. Too many reasons why the only love I've ever known must always be denied.
I knew she was thinking of all this, too, for I could see the desperate melancholy painted all over her face, all in dark colors, indigo blue for sadness, scarlet red for the passion we had to ignore, the blackest of black for the looming void that would always live in our hearts.
"Heaven." Her name burst from my mouth in a throaty whisper as I clutched her head to my cheek and let my lips tremble against her warm ear. "You know it is not possible. It never truly has been. Leave this place now," I begged even as I held her tightly against me, "turn away from me and don't look back. Save us both from what always ends in inevitable heartache..."
"I can't leave you now."
Her gentle hand reached out to stroke my cheek and I sighed and quivered under the soft pressure of her skin. Oh, how could one person set me ablaze with the fire of a million suns? How could she have such a profound affect on me, stealing all reason from me until I was but a shadow moving silently, stealthily, towards the light I forever craved, the light of her love?
My heart seized in my chest until I could barely breathe and I choked out a frustrated sob, a desperate, gasping cry as a tear slipped down my cheek. "Heaven..."
"Let's have our last night together again, my darling," she pleaded, coaxing me, drawing me further and further from the sanity I clung too. "It's what we both want... what we both need to have..."
I buried my face in her hair, crying softly, forcing back the sobs that threatened to erupt and break me completely. My emotions gripped me with an icy hand and all I could do to escape was let Heaven's warmth melt through the chill, peel those constricting fingers of control away from me until the tears were no more and my head was caught in a cloud of numbness. I lost myself in her eyes, those deep, hypnotizing eyes, until I felt nothing but piercing heat traveling throughout me, boiling the blood in my veins, flushing my face and tensing all the muscles in my body.
Slowly, slowly I brought my trembling lips again towards hers, letting her taste the salt of the tears that had trickled to my mouth, so she would not forget, as I could never forget, the pain that would always come hand in hand with this ultimate ecstasy.
"Oh, Heaven," I breathed, near to panting, as my hands trailed over her back, her arms, her hips, feeling every sensual curve of her. "Let's not think of this as one night that will be over when we wake in the morning. Let us believe this is only a dream, a magical, perfect dream we will never wake from..."
And, as if in a dream, where I forgot who I was and who she was and knew only the passion that was controlling me now, my hands sought out the zipper in the back of her sapphire dress and pulled it down, slowly down, until my fingers were shivering at the touch of the bare skin of her back. My lips trailed from her neck across each of her shoulders, kisses to slowly nudge away the dress until it fell like a feather down her arms.
Gripping her hips firmly, I pulled her fast against me and crushed my mouth over hers. Like hungry animals my hands tugged and pulled on her dress until it fluttered to the floor and she was almost naked in my arms. Fervently, desperately, not wanting a second to be wasted and interrupt this furious ardor, I pushed Heaven down to the floor so she lay upon her crumpled dress in front of the fireplace. The first still blazed inside, flickering to throw soft illuminations and shadows over Heaven's bare skin. My kisses followed the firelight, roaming all over, seeking out the places that made us both shudder with thrilling bliss.
On and on I kissed, stroked, caressed, utterly lost to the world and all it denied me. I would not be denied tonight. The dream that haunted me night after night was now a reality. The wish I made on endless stars was coming true. The love I needed to survive was here before me for the taking. Heaven was the lifeblood my heart never pumped, the breath of fresh air my lungs were always sealed to, the cool water to quench the thirst that forever frustrated me. And I would not be denied tonight...
Heaven pulled back, breaking the kiss I wished could last forever. But her hands did not leave me, nor did her eyes, and still I could feel the heat radiating from her to burn me, consume me.
"If I thought it were possible Troy," she whispered desperately, tears in her voice, "I would want us to be together like this forever..."
Oh, but it was possible! Possible to escape the knowing eyes of those who were aware our love was sinful. Possible to leave behind all we know and begin anew with only each other. Possible to put aside all guilt we might feel, and remember only our eternal love, the passion that will never be sated, the pure ecstasy we find in each other. We could do that, we could...
But could Heaven bear to break Logan's heart, to desert the husband she claims to love, who loves her? And could she leave Annie motherless in a broken home, or take her away from her roots to live with a new family, the true father who's still a stranger to her? So many others would feel betrayed, disappointed, angered. Oh, there was too much at stake, too many people to be hurt in too many ways. Too many reasons why the only love I've ever known must always be denied.
I knew she was thinking of all this, too, for I could see the desperate melancholy painted all over her face, all in dark colors, indigo blue for sadness, scarlet red for the passion we had to ignore, the blackest of black for the looming void that would always live in our hearts.
"Heaven." Her name burst from my mouth in a throaty whisper as I clutched her head to my cheek and let my lips tremble against her warm ear. "You know it is not possible. It never truly has been. Leave this place now," I begged even as I held her tightly against me, "turn away from me and don't look back. Save us both from what always ends in inevitable heartache..."
"I can't leave you now."
Her gentle hand reached out to stroke my cheek and I sighed and quivered under the soft pressure of her skin. Oh, how could one person set me ablaze with the fire of a million suns? How could she have such a profound affect on me, stealing all reason from me until I was but a shadow moving silently, stealthily, towards the light I forever craved, the light of her love?
My heart seized in my chest until I could barely breathe and I choked out a frustrated sob, a desperate, gasping cry as a tear slipped down my cheek. "Heaven..."
"Let's have our last night together again, my darling," she pleaded, coaxing me, drawing me further and further from the sanity I clung too. "It's what we both want... what we both need to have..."
I buried my face in her hair, crying softly, forcing back the sobs that threatened to erupt and break me completely. My emotions gripped me with an icy hand and all I could do to escape was let Heaven's warmth melt through the chill, peel those constricting fingers of control away from me until the tears were no more and my head was caught in a cloud of numbness. I lost myself in her eyes, those deep, hypnotizing eyes, until I felt nothing but piercing heat traveling throughout me, boiling the blood in my veins, flushing my face and tensing all the muscles in my body.
Slowly, slowly I brought my trembling lips again towards hers, letting her taste the salt of the tears that had trickled to my mouth, so she would not forget, as I could never forget, the pain that would always come hand in hand with this ultimate ecstasy.
"Oh, Heaven," I breathed, near to panting, as my hands trailed over her back, her arms, her hips, feeling every sensual curve of her. "Let's not think of this as one night that will be over when we wake in the morning. Let us believe this is only a dream, a magical, perfect dream we will never wake from..."
And, as if in a dream, where I forgot who I was and who she was and knew only the passion that was controlling me now, my hands sought out the zipper in the back of her sapphire dress and pulled it down, slowly down, until my fingers were shivering at the touch of the bare skin of her back. My lips trailed from her neck across each of her shoulders, kisses to slowly nudge away the dress until it fell like a feather down her arms.
Gripping her hips firmly, I pulled her fast against me and crushed my mouth over hers. Like hungry animals my hands tugged and pulled on her dress until it fluttered to the floor and she was almost naked in my arms. Fervently, desperately, not wanting a second to be wasted and interrupt this furious ardor, I pushed Heaven down to the floor so she lay upon her crumpled dress in front of the fireplace. The first still blazed inside, flickering to throw soft illuminations and shadows over Heaven's bare skin. My kisses followed the firelight, roaming all over, seeking out the places that made us both shudder with thrilling bliss.
On and on I kissed, stroked, caressed, utterly lost to the world and all it denied me. I would not be denied tonight. The dream that haunted me night after night was now a reality. The wish I made on endless stars was coming true. The love I needed to survive was here before me for the taking. Heaven was the lifeblood my heart never pumped, the breath of fresh air my lungs were always sealed to, the cool water to quench the thirst that forever frustrated me. And I would not be denied tonight...