Pokemon X: Desires of Fate

by BlizzardBuffalo

The world is being consumed by darkness...but who is the only likely nominee that'll save it? Why, your friendly neighborhood pokemon trainer! Join destined hero and half-phoenix Skye Grendhert, as he embarks upon the ultimate pokemon journey...

6. Pokemon Epics Gone Wrong

Disclaimer: I don't own Pokemon. Period.

Obstructed from the outside world, Skye has plunged into a role playing nightmare acted out by four of the strangest kids around. As he goes on his 'pretend' pokemon journey, Skye hopes that he will someday he will experience the real thing! Meanwhile, Dan finds out the hard way that nobody accepts him there.unless he puckers up to them!

Just when will the two hopeless youths leave on their adventure? Now, onto the story!

Pokemon Epics Gone Wrong

"Oh, boy," I grumbled, regretting our new surroundings,"Here we are in the dank, damp, grungy, shady, crappy, mildew-ridden basement of Mewtwo's Dungeon. Whoopity, doo."
Being the only ones down in the small, rectangular subterranean room, we viewed the piles of trading card advertisements, superhero poster boards and hobby promotions that have long witnessed their final days. The floor itself was adhesive with the aging soda pop and sewer water that had long seized control of it. Holes were punched in the dusty plaster, and I shivered as a Spinarak, a spider pokemon about the size of my head, skittered for a pile of garbage bags piled in the corner with the promotions. The only way we were able to daze endlessly at this sooty room was by a flickering, florescent tube-shaped bulb hanging from a rusty shade.
".What are you being so cynical for, Skye!?" Dylan shaped up,"With a little fix-me-up, we can make this place our own, pimpin' super-secret club in no time! Look, we can jam a sound system back there.
"With the moldy life-size Captain Kirk replica?" Jill remarked.
".And man, we can put my Tv and NexBox in that little shelf."
"Packed with that accumulated, five years worth of White Dwarf magazines?"
".And wow.we can put a fridge over there for all those.uh.um."
"All of those 2 liters with the inscrutable labels? We'll pass."
"Why waste em?" Dylan shrugged, looking up at the ceiling,"With a proper electrician, we can jimmy-rig some serious RCS into this pad so we can watch the Pokemon League on my kick-ass big screen.and we can fit a disco ball up there too."
"And wow, dude," Jeff approached the sea-green plastic table and chairs in the middle of the room,"Free chairs and stuff.uh, dude."
Jeff withdrew his hand as he went to lean on the tables, and I watched in surprise that his hand SUNK a little ways right through the plastic material, leaving a handprint where we could see a harder material under it. All of us smelled the green powder that had smothered Jeff's hand, and immediately we fled for the opposite wall.except Dylan, who didn't give off a reaction since he was still pondering on and in about our secret base.
"DAMN!!" I whined.
"What is that crap on your fingers!?" Jill shouted.
"Wow," Jeff smiled stupidly,"Feels like Silly Putty."
"Jeff, you just left your handprint in a three-inch layer of accumulated mold," I gripped my stomach, which was churning at the thought,"See how the table LOOKS green!?"
"Uh, dude," Jeff wiped his hands on his pants, leaving a moldy residue on them, then turned to a mound of mold that seemed bigger than the rest of the table,"I wonder what's in here.like woah, furry pizza."
"Don't touch that Jeff. My god," I gasped.
"It's not like I want to," Jeff left the smelly pizza box as it was, then scooped up a janitor's mop that was on the floor and commenced to scrubbing the table off. The rest of us found smaller brushes and contributed to Jeff's work.
Meanwhile through our coughing and sputtering, Dylan continually expressed every single trail of his interior decoration ideas,"Ah, the lava lamp goes there.but.wait! Where are we gonna put the couch?"
".WHAT!?" all of us screamed out in surprise.
"While we have just discovered that the only purpose for a room like this is to establish a meeting place for the people from the Matrix to jack into." I joked,".Dylan over here is considering a job at Seaman's."
The only reaction I got to that was a gallery of astonished faces, which were not having to do with me, but with Burger.who had just lifted a slice of the 'furry' pizza out of it's box.and put it right into his mouth. He licked his lips in delight as if nothing happened.
"Like, dude.he ate the furry pizza!" Jeff choked.
For five minutes straight: Stiff, astonished faces.
".Gee, I wonder what happened to Dan?" I pondered.

Upstairs.
The playing table in the back of the store with the replica of a mountain range and a forest was in fact under siege at the moment by two advancing armies made up of futuristic space warriors, tanks and artillery and a wave of alien creatures.well, model armies.
"For this turn." the real-life general of the space marine army whipped out a tape measure and laid it across the table,".I'm gonna have my foot units charge.and for the assault tank, I am going to move as normal speed and shoot at the stupid Lictor."
"You can't see the Lictor!" the other kid laughed,"The Lictor is invisible! The Lictor is awesome! He owns the table!" "Oh yeah!? We'll see about that when I let loose a volley of super-awesome flesh-melting Plasma missiles!! Take this, Lictor!"
"How many times did I tell you!? The Lictor's bio-ability lets him hide in the trees so you can't see him! But he can see you!"
"Sure!" the other kid poked at the six-inch alien model sticking out of the undersized shrubbery,"I can see him perfectly fine!"
"But he's camouflaged! It says in the rule book!"
"Bio abilities only work on the turn that you declare them active! You already used the invisibility power!"
Through the whole conflict, unaware to them was an unexpected visitor, who was kneeling right beside the table. The alien-controlling kid leered at the boy who was peering just over the surface of the table.
"HI!" Dan replied in his hyper-annoying kid voice,"Whatcha DOIN!?"
"Playing Blood-Gush-Die 4002!" the first kid replied happily.
"Sounds like a great one for the kids," Dan laughed,"How do ya play!?"
"I don't have time!"
"You don't?" Dan fidgeted with the table,"Hey, where are the chance cards? Is there a free space on here? The spin dial, the spin dial!! Where do ya pass GO!?"
"Hey, let that go!" the first kid wrenched a tank model out of Dan's quick little hands.
"I wanted to use this one!"
"What the, I'm in the middle of a GAME here!!" he clubbed Dan over the head with his fist rapidly until he went away.but before he could breathe a sigh of relief, Dan showed up on his opponent's side.
"Shoo! Beat it!" he complained.
"Wow! Have I seen these before?" Dan toyed with the alien models,"I thought Sigourney Weaver killed these guys off years ago!"
"Wrong movie."
"I'm wonderin: do they put little alien babies in people's stomachs? How do they reproduce? Do they pop out of the intestines, take over the brain, or do they prefer the Gremlin approach?"
"You're spoiling my train of thought." he gripped his forehead,"You're plotting to overthrow my developing, winning strategy! You're gonna cast me into the poverty of loser-ness! Now, scram before I kill someone!"
"Ok, ok." Dan sighed.

".Whatever," I sighed,"I'm guessing he's harassing small children or something."
"So." Dylan yanked out the character sheets,"Let's freakin' start already! How are you guys doing on that table?"
"Ah, we're already on the chairs." Jeff and Jill were brushing the mold off of their seats, turning their faces away from the wafts of mildew dust that flew up from their cleaning. Burger stood in the corner, dropping rule books onto the clean areas of the table between picking his nose.
"Dude, don't touch those with your booger-snot fingers, you slob! WHEEH!!" Dylan complained,"How about I take that furry pizza and put your face n it, huh!?"
"Just how long can I stand it for." I hummed.

".Hey, look!" Dan grinned up at the space marine kid,"I think I can help ya."
"Yeah, sure," he looked up and away from him,"Just let me re-think my plan here."
"I know!" Dan rose up and pointed at the tall model,"Kill that stupid Licker thing!"
"It's LICTOR!!" their opponent corrected him.
"Why does that make all of the difference!?" Dan complained,"Licker, Liquor, whatever. Just shoot at it or something!"
"Uh."
"In order to hit a camouflaged unit, you have to roll a D20 to hit, minus 15 for the visibility check, then minus 3 for the armor bonus.and minus one for the forest terrain!" their opponent shrugged,"Which means that you'd have to roll a natural twenty if you actually wanted to hit the Lictor! And I'd like to see you do that, chump!"
"That Lictor's gonna kick my ass next turn.so."
"Never play defensive!" Dan urged,"Defense is for pussies! Take a chance and roll it. Exit your comfort zone!"
"But." the boy jiggled the dice in one hand.
"Yeah!" Dan got worked up,"Show him your dice-rolling skill-age! Get the leprechaun to cream his pants! Step out there in the world and show all our forefathers and corporate people that you, as a free man, can kick some ass just by picking up that dice right there and scoring the big time!"
"Ok." the opposing kid let his mouth hang open.
"You have a 19 in twenty chance of making yourself look like a loser before dozens of lazy card-throwing kids (as if they care right now.) but with a one in twenty chance of erecting yourself in the Parthenon of Mewtwo's Dungeon lords and gods of awesome-ness, why give a flying poo about the nineteen and twenty?"
".Alright! I'll do it!" he released the dice in a combination of determination and aggravation,"For awesomeness!"
The dice deflected off of a fake mountain, rolling desperately for a place to rest. All three of it's onlookers peered at the surface for any signs of failure or success, mattering on who was considering the results. Dan's ally worked himself up when the dice tumbled into a fake tree, sending it crashing down upon one of their opponent's units.
"C'mon."
Gaining momentum off of a small hill, the dice soared up an inch off of the table's surface like a dirt bike on ESPN, scratching the surface of a tank so that it finally came to a solitary spot where it continued to frolic in a lengthily rotation. The whole table seemed to exhale with the breaths of the players as the number twenty showed it's face for them to see.
".Wow." the roller of the dice breathed a sigh of relief.
"See? What did I tell ya?" Dan elbowed him.
"Wow." he repeated,"Natural twenty."
".WHAT!? NOOO!!" their opponent cursed, defending the Lictor,"You weren't supposed to roll a twenty!! I can't let you do that!"
"Sorry, bud," Dan joked,"The Lictor's DEAD; police autopsies reveal that the foreign being was filled to the top with sensationally toasty plasma shell flak."
".Yeah! I killed him!"
"No.NO! The Lictor OWNED!!"
"Well, do you want me to break him so that I can convince you forcefully to make it mine?" Dan bragged, awaiting a response,".Nah, didn't think so."
".Grr."
Dan kept his arms folded for a few seconds, at last replying,"Are you gonna play fair and kick the Lictor over or do ya want me to do it for ya?"

"I.won't!"
"Why not, huh?"
"There's.there's.!!" he frantically searched through a concealed rule book to try to come up with an excuse, however it being clear that he was fibbing,"There's a rule here!! It says that.Lictors have super carapace armor! It gives them a plus twenty defense bonus to artillery fire! It."
"Plus twenty." Dan's friend pondered.
".It." Dan frowned,".It does have super armor, doesn't it?"
"Yeah! So you'd have to roll a forty, which is in this plane impossible to roll on a single D-20! So you LOSE!"
"No I don't!" Dan got clever,"Well, if your stupid Lictor can withstand about ten gallons of liquidized photon energy, let's see how it can take the power of God's Finger Flick of Divine Proportions! Hi-YA!!"
Suddenly, Dan ended his sentence by reaching across the table and slapping his index finger into the rob cage of the Lictor figurine, toppling onto a grave of fizzy model trees. The owner flipped.
"HEY!!" he screamed,"I paid for that!!"
"With your mom's money," Dan laughed,"OOOOH!! What did I tell ya?"
"That the Lictor had super carapace armor!"
"But didn't you see that I was JOKING?"
"You can't just flick super carapace armor! Would you go up to a Lictor and shoot it with anti plasma? Or would you FLICK it!?"
"REALITY CHECK," Dan put a finger into the air,"I'd flick it if it were an action figure just obeying the rules."
"That was NOT in the rulebook!!"
"IT DIED. GET OVER IT."
"But."
"."
".But."
Dan cut him off with a swish of his finger, patting his friend of the back,"Congrats on your roll, kid. Now, my undesired work here is done; I shall declare the outcome of the battle in your hands, and that the business of this pewter-man slaughterhouse is none of my damn business whatsoever.chow!"
Once Dan walked away, the two boys peered at the back of his head with a pallid, disconcerted feeling overtaking them.
"Weird." the both of them choked.

"Ok." Dylan crossed his fingers, sitting at the end of the table as he prepared to start the game,"Jill, you're walking through the forest with your roster of pokemon at your side. It is about one, two o'clock in the afternoon, and the sun is beating over your head. You are sweating bullets, so you decide to look for some shade to cool off under."
"HEEEY!!" Jeff shouted, digging through all of our backpacks in the background,"Where's the cherry soda!?"
"It's in there," Dylan sighed off the distraction,"Anyway Jill, make a spot check."
Jill rolled a dice in order to confirm that her character would notice something going on in the imaginary world that would eventually have to do with the plot. ".While you are reclining, another pokemon trainer shows up just a couple of feet from the tree. Take actions."
"Ok," Jill replied in a corny voice,"DUUU-DE!! What cha doin'?"
"Where's the cherry SODA!?" "Dude, you're a trainer! Let's fight!" Dylan acted the trainer's part out.
"DYLLL-AN!!?"
"Dude, quiet," Dylan argued,"The battle begins, Jill. Choose a pokemon to send out and roll initiative."
"I'm gonna send out."
"Do you guys want a SODA!?" Jeff shouted.
"No." Dylan answered,"I'm DM-ming."
"DM-ming?" I asked.
"Skye, you and your amnesia, dammit.DM stands for Dungeon Master: I'm running the whole game here."
"Oh yeah."
"I didn't give you permission to talk yet, so wait your turn. Now, back to Jill."
"Whatever. I'm sending out Grass-Type Shroomish."
"You also rolled a 15," Dylan added,"So, you beat the trainer's pokemon seven since Shroomish has a +1 speed bonus. He has sent forth a ground-type Sandshrew. Take actions."
"I'm going to attack with." Jill raised her fingers, peering through a rulebook,".Stun Spore."
Jill rolled a 6-sided dice, landing on a four. Dylan rolled another dice and explained,"So, Shroomish does a J-Lo style hula dance, throwing a cloud of spores over the Sandshrew. Since he failed the Paralysis check, he is pretty much immobilized like an L.A rush hour. Now.he attempts to attack with scratch.fail! It's your turn, Jill."
"I'd like a soda.but.!" Jeff kept screaming,"I can't find the SODA!! Where's the DAMN CHERRY SODA!!? It would help if you'd.!"
"Zip it Jeff, I'm about to get to you," Dylan answered,"Now, for you Jill."
".I'm gonna use.ABSORB."
"Absorb is an accurate grass attack," Dylan answered,"It deals about thirty Grass-type damage and siphons 15 damage off of your HP. But in this case, the attack does double the amount that it would normally do since Sandshrew is a Ground Type, and that Ground types are weak to grass attacks.in that case, you suck Sandshrew dry of his vitality like a Wall Street journalist does to a Coffee Coolatta."
"Did I win yet, did I win yet!?" Jill got excited.
"Well."
".Hey, I got the SODAS!" Jeff screamed,"Want a SODA!? DYLAN!? DYLAN!!"
"Shut up dude, I'm trying to DM."
"Can I take that as a YES!?"
Without turning his head to Jeff in the background, Dylan continued to put him off until Jeff screamed,"Here's a SODA!!" pitching the can from under the table. Missing Dylan entirely, it struck me in the head and threw me off of my chair! Dylan still hadn't looked up yet.

Dave was indulging himself on a meatball grinder while turning up the volume on his radio, which was playing Bare Naked Ladies music. Just as he lowered his can of soda, a male teenager with multicolored hair in gothic garb intercepted his line of sight. Dave remained frozen in place peering around the can with his eyes dimly locked on his new subject.
"."
".Like, dude, I can't PLAY cards," the kid complained in a somewhat British accent.
"." Dave remains in place with no words to speak.
"Dude, the music."
".Hm?" Dave asked with a hum emitted from his lips, which were still glued to the aluminum so that it hummed.
".It sucks. Change the station."
"I'm not listening to the radio," Dave finally lowered the soda.but not his defenses.
"Yeah you are."
"If I were listening to the radio, it would me alive with the sounds of Pokemon battles, football games, all 90's weekends and fat radio talk show hosts farting on their girlfriends.but I'm listening to Bare Naked Ladies."
"."
".On a CD."
"."
"That's not radio now, is it?"
"You want us to play pokemon card games here, but that unbelievably horrid music is making me not want to play pokemon card games."
".Do ya? Well, there's an easy way to do it: How about you play pokemon card games and IGNORE the music."
"But I can't do that.I have EARS."
"Well, use em."
"But I can't with these sucky beats."
".Look. Who's store is it?"
"It's ours. It's the people's power."
"Look tie-dye head, it's mine. We are manipulating your spent funds in order to keep a roof over your head."
"But who PAYS for the merchandise anyway? It's all OURS, you fool."
"Want to play fool with me now, huh?" Dave got angry,"Well, fine then. I can fool around with you all day like that fruity hairdo of yours that you put so much time into."
"You think you can beat the people!?"
".Yeah! If I fooled the heck out of these pestering geeks, collectors and Jehovah's Witnesses, I think I can fool your Todd McFarlane- based generation. Any of you."
"Shut up! Todd McFarlane is COOL!"
"I know he is!" Dave added,"Spawn kicks so much butt.as much as you kick Bed Head gel in that overwhelmingly goofy hair of yours."
"Goofy!?."
"Yeah, like you referred to my music."
"Play some SevenDust for crying out loud."
"."
".OR some NIN, Fear Factory or something. Something COOL. Not this bull."
"Why should I?"
"Because the people declare it."
"Alright," Dave got worked up as he edged the radio closer,"If that's how you want to play, let's see if you can take as much of THESE beats as the amount of dog collars your family is wearing."
For a minute Dave switched the radio to a heavy metal station, but just out of reach of pure reception. But just as the boy went to fix it, Dave swiped the radio and switched the station to a Polka.
"Hey, do you like Polka? Huh?"
"No.no.stop."
"Hey, doesn't it give you the desire to wear checkered suspenders? Aren't you hungry for a fat kielbasa?"
".No."
"Wanna sing Polish bar songs?"
"No.!!"
"Hey now, try singing to this.(Dave switches to Spanish Tango.).ARIBA!! Hey amigo, it takes dos-e to tango."
"Argh!"
"Hey, senior lack big cahones to tango.cha cha, let's see big grande cahones cha cha to 'theeze' (Hip Hop music.) Yo homie, put yo hands up and yo' pants down!!"
"Stop it.!!"
".You in da' hood, homie, and yo gotsa watch yo' back, G., cuz X gonna bring it to ya."
".I can't.let it.play!"
The kid struggled over the counter in vain, just out of reach of the radio. Dave shoved him back and resumed the rap music,".C'mon, let's get it on.it's yo' birthday.let's get it on.it's yo' birthday."
"No it ISN'T!!"
".You look like a candy bar.looking like a movie star."
".Grr."
"Many men.many, many, many men."
".!!"
"Many men.like a change of music!" Dave spun around and switched the station to religious music,".And God sent Moses to find.the Promised Land."
".WHAT!!?"
".Flowing with milk and honey."
"NOOOO!! TURN IT OFF!!"
"God reaches out to those who reject Christian radio," Dave imitated a bishop of some kind,".And delivers them.to the Promised Land."
"I don't want.the people don't.!!"
".Like it when you curse God because nobody likes your hair!?"
"Hey, when did this debate's subject become my."
"And God said.let there be Pantene Plus for healthy hair treatment."
"Stop it with the hair!!"
".God made us free to do whatever.to train our pokemon and to tend our fields and harvests.to attend church on the Sabbath day.play with little kids.and to change the color of our hair."
".I swear, one more thing about the."
"Oh, the HEAVENS BE PRAISED!! HALLEUJAH!!! THANK YOU, A-LORD-A!! HALLELJAH!! IN GOD'S NAME, AMEN!!"
"."
".Mass involving the change in music is dismissed," Dave concluded,"And so is your lame hair style, you persistent anarchist."
"The people.argh.the people demand that you change that music..right now!!"
"You still rally the people, don't you?" Dave switched the radio off,"Ok then, let's see who has people power."
Dave slowly rose from his stool and stood before the entire store, who had their eyes on the whole conflict.
".How many of you lonely, thirty-year olds and younger like bare, naked ladies?"
With that, all of the male population in the store lifted their hands up into the air to approve. Some guys had their tongues out of their mouths, others howled, and even some boys dropped their cards just to vote.

Dan, who was in the back, grabbed the hand of one child who was oblivious to what Dave was coaxing them to vote on and lifted him high into the air. Though on the way down, his elbow caught on a Pokemon Model, making one of it's arms fall off. Dan fled the scene and hid under a nearby table.
Realizing that he had been defeated, the rebellious boy backed off,"You fools! You turn traitorous to the people!!"
"Guys like Bare Naked Ladies. End of story. Shut up and go away."
"The revolution is HEAH!! Rally against the oppressive adults!!"
"The adults that make you buy this stuff and keep you happy?"
"NO!! You rule with an iron fist! You smite freedom!! YOU."
Dave clapped his hands, and in seconds, A.J and Bobby got ahold of the boy and commenced to dragging him for the door.
"You don't do anything wild, do YOU!?"
"Well." Dave joked cleverly,".My dad went straight with a parrot for a while back in the day. I was wondering if you were my long, lost brother."
"The hair jokes!! Enough!!"
"Oh, sorry. Had to say it." "The revolution will overthrow you!"
"With heavy British accents and Metallica music? Yeah, really."
"Shut up! St. Anger is COOL!"

"GOD SMITE THEE UNFORGIVEN!" Dave shouted with an outstretched finger.
"No government! Destroy the political figure!" the twosome had his lower body out the door, and were slowly showing the resistor out to where he belonged,"Protest the fate of our nation!"
".That's great; Alex Berkman loves you.now get out."
"NOOOOOO!!"
"Bye, bye." Dave laughed, switching the radio on,"And here's some Pokemon March music to get you all worked up.duh.duh duh duh DUHT!! Duh dee-dee-da-dee."
The door slammed shut once he was pitched out onto the front walk.
"Dude.you better.!!"

"Dude you better.WAKE UP!" Dylan smacked Jeff with the soda can that had hit me before, making the dreary boy raise his head,"It your turn, retard."
"Skye, are you OK?" Jill asked me.
"Uh." I put one hand on my forehead, shrugging off a searing headache,".The music inspired by the cold impact of aluminum."
".Dude, who's turn?"
"What do you mean,'Dude, who's turn!? You think that I was talking to BURGER, you you dumb-as-a-D-10 piece of crap!?"
Dylan belted Jeff with another empty soda can, making him whine helplessly. When he was finally coaxed into taking his turn, Dylan carried out the campaign again.
"Now, let's see.here.ah, Jeff: you're in the middle of a pokemon battle yourself. You and another trainer managed to establish a meeting place somewhere in the outskirts of the same town that Jill and the others are heading. Now, his Murkrow just pecked your Gligar for ten damage. Currently, he has 94 hit points.choose an attack to hit him with."
"Hmm.." Jeff sighed,".Hey, I got it!"
"You finally got the fact that you are attacking this turn?" Dylan teased.
"Yeah! I'm gonna use." Jeff outstretched both hands in front of him,"HAY-DOU-KEN POWER!!"
Jeff's outbursts, although they always got our attention no doubt, this one was definitely an exception. It even got me awake for the minute: all of us threw Jeff degrading looks.
".Um, no," Dylan answered,"Haydouken power doesn't exist in Pokemon Epics."
"Yeah, I could!"
"No you can't!"
"I can use haydouken power!!"
"Dude, what rule in the book says you can cast haydouken power!?"
"You said Pokemon Epics is all about open-ended rules!!"
"Well, not to this extent."
".Yeah! That's what got me to play! Now, I'm gonna."
"Ok, fine," Dylan got clever,"So, Gligar uses his all-powerful haydouken power."
"Yayy!!" Jeff cheered, unaware of what he was about to face.
".Which does absolutely nothing to the defending pokemon since.no crap, ground-type pokemon can't summon chi and launch it from their palms because this is NOT A FIGHTING GAME!!"
"Aww.damn."
"You wasted your turn using a stupid attack, so Murkrow is going to hit Gligar with Faint Attack.which does 29 damage, plus 10 more for a critical hit."
"Haydouken power isn't stupid! Karate people can blow stuff up with it!"
"Who told you that? The Street Fighter strategy guide that you've been reading for the last ten minutes!?"
"There's a rule that'll let me do that!!" "Show me the rule then."
"Show you? OK!"
"Yeah, educate me. C'mon, I dare ya."
"Rule book fight!!" they both declared as they drew themselves into an intricate argument that involved human morals, government rights, street fighter moves, declarations of independence and shoving player's manuals into each other's faces. Meanwhile, my imagination began to draw me away from my focus upon the game.and I pictured myself as a pokemon trainer in an imaginary world..

Two kids were engaged in an intense Pokemon Card duel upstairs, unaware of the tuft of mahogany hair emerging itself from under the table as a shark's fin protrudes itself from the ocean's surface.
"I'm gonna use my Switch card to retreat my Blast-TOIISE for free, then use a SUU-per potion to restore his 40 hit points!!"
"AWW!!" his opponent cried.
".I choose you, Kabutops, to ATTACK with SHARP SCYTHE!!"
"I took thirty damage!"
"Bam! Target your creature!!"
Something about that line caught Dan's attention as he revealed himself from behind the boy that uttered it. As he eyed them stupidly, the two of them stared awkwardly back at him as this strange new boy was in some form of a stalemate.
One of the boys took the initiative,"What are YOU looking at, DORRR- ky!?"
".Oh, I was just watching.." Dan mislead the younger boys with a deceitful innocence,".Watching your card game.so how is it, cool?"
".It better be cool."
"If you say something about our cards, we're gonna get mad!"
"I think it looks OK," Dan responded.
"No, it's the coolest fad around, you dummy!"
"Whaddya mean, OK!?" one of the children complained,"You don't think it's cool!?"
"Well, it doesn't grab me, you know?"
"Why doesn't it, huh!?"
"Well, the thought of throwing pieces of expensive, sparkly cardboard with little pokemon on em' is just not my thing. And what are all those marble things you keep covering them up with!? Damage counters? C'mon, animals like being out in the sun and stuff.they like to be OUTSIDE."
"Bats like caves!" one of the kids told him,"Not all animals like the sun."
"MY point is.some guy probably got inspired to draw the picture on this card!" Dan flicked the counters off of the cards, sending them off the table and into other involved players,".You know, (flick) it's not really (flick) that cool to (flick) just plug up someone's hard work (flick) you know (flick)?"
"What are you doing!?" they shouted, clumsily trying to gather the marbles.
"You're gonna scratch em!!" ".(flick)I'm making the animals free!" Dan laughed,"You (flick) like to keep them behind cages of (flick) hurtful little pieces of glass (flick, flick)? You guys (flick) aren't nice to animals! You should be a little more (flick, flick) sympathetic.(flick)." "We're nice to our cards!"
"Yeah we are! They're our pokemon!!"
"Really? (flick) Not real ones. These things aren't worth anything compared to em."
"Yeah they are!! They're all shiny and.hey, stop flicking our cards!!"
"WHAM!!" Dan cheered,"Target your creature!!"
"HEEEY!!"
"Ok guys.roll a spot check."
Jill groaned as the dice tumbled out of our palms.
".You see a town up ahead."
"Towns are pretty big.who would I not see one?" Jill complained.
"As far as you're concerned, the four of you are meeting up in the town of Silverlake, where you'll have the honor of accepting your new assignment from the Pokemon Trainer's Society.so, all of you are together in town.you guys greet one another.now, say something," Dylan looked to us.
".Uh." the four of us moaned, trying to show enthusiasm in acting out the roles of pretend characters,"Uh."
"Hey, what up?" Jeff greeted.
"Yeah.what up," I replied back.
"Ok." Jill dragged her voice.
"Roll a spot check."
"Ok." all of us scooped up a dice and deposited onto the tabletop.
".You see that you have cash."
"I thought that we would've known that already, but ok." Jill sighed again.
".You guys have some money in your pockets for winning Pokemon Duels," Dylan carried out the story,"..Together, you total your money up to 134 dollars. Do you guys desire to spend it on anything?"
".FOOD!" Burger spoke up.
"Incense sticks!" Jill added.
".BEER!" Jeff shouted.
"Skye?" Dylan poked my elbow, snapping me out of my trance,"Skye, dropped out of orbit yet?"
"Yikes!" I gasped, trying to get back on topic,".Uh.girls."
"Ooh, Skye's a pimp," Jill remarked. ".Girls, wow," Jeff responded, tapping my elbow,"So, where's the girls?" "They're coming, now hold your damn horses," Dylan continued,"so, you guys decide that you'll split up and buy supplies for your next journey." "Dude, the girls." ".there's the Pokemon Center, the Poke Mart, and then they're the." "The bar, dude," Jeff persisted,"IF I can go to the bar, I can find some girls, and dude, I can find girls and score with em! Yeah!!" "Yeah, sure." Jill drew back sarcastically,".Jeff, back off, you perv!" "So, Jill will go to the pokemon center with all of your pokemon." "But I need my pokemon to make the girls like me." Jeff sighed. ".Dude, RELAX!" Dylan slapped him over the head with his DM Guide,"You'll get your damn girls soon enough.God, you're a little horny today, aren't you!? Thanks for telegraphing him, Skye..but anyway, let's just jump to the game and say that we got just about everything that we need. So, we decide to go trot up to the Silverlake mansion, respectively named after the Silverlakes, who run the town, woot." "The long arm of the lawless DM," I giggled. "So, guys, take action." "Uh." all of us pondered. ".Are there any bushes for me to pee on?" Jeff shouted. "(Sigh.) It's not in the rulebook, but for the sake if it, what the hell. Roll a spot check, Jeff." "Dylan, the bush is right there.why do it?" Jill argued. Completely ignoring her, Dylan continued,"So, Jeff takes a leak on the shrubbery, scaring a Poochyena out from the back of it.and it attacks.JEFF!" "AH! Don't let it bite me!" Jeff whined,"I'll make Gligar fight it!"
".Ok."
"Wait a minute.you didn't even roll to see who the Poochyena would attack!"
"So?"
"You just made it attack me for no fair reason!!"
"But dude, you peed on it's BUSH!"
"I didn't try to! And if he was there, he deserved it!!"
".You used your turn cussing at the Poochyena, so it runs right past your Gligar and headbutts you in the crotch, dealing 2D4 sub-duel critical damage.and.you lose 37 sub-duel hit points and three turns."
"What!? No dude, I need those."
"Sorry, dude."
"But.but."
"Would you prefer contending with Dave again or will you just sit there and SHUT UP!.God, dude, just play," Dylan shouted,"Perhaps something intelligent would happen if we replaced you with Dan.ok everyone, visualize it."
"Uh." Jeff spaced out.
A flashback occurred, as I envisioned a time earlier in the year when we were all circled around a table, playing an intense game of CandyLand.
".Ok, I move to the next blue space," I flipped a card up from the deck,".Oh, a free shortcut through the gumdrop path! Score!"
"Yeah, Skye's on fire!" Jill cheered,"Dylan, how are ya doing?"
"I love CandyLand!" Dylan cursed sarcastically, throwing his card across the room,"You know, the cute little place that all the world's small children dream of, where they can frolic with little peppermint elves, forget about eating their vegetables, and converse with the old grandma who makes gingerbread cookies.Why, I can't get myself out of these @#$%ing chocolate marshes!!"
"Don't fret!" Jill tried to calm him down.
"Fret? Not just was I stuck here for the last fifteen turns flipping cards, but Lord Licorice kicked my ass for half the game, and Jeff beat me to the Ice Cream Ocean and won't stop wooing the Snow Cone fairy!"
"Heh heh heh heh." Jeff stared blatantly at the board, chuckling,"Cool."
"Jeff, you little creep!" Jill screamed,"Dude, she must be 10 years younger than you!"
".Huh huh huh huh."
"It's your turn anyway.and is that why you've been skipping the last ones!?"
"." Dylan drew another card,"WHAT THE CRAP!!"
"Hey! Who said you could go twice!?" everyone demanded.
Let's just say that Dylan's 5 minute sentence was composed of improper vocabulary.
"RELAX, DUDE!" Jill screamed.
Dylan got so angry that he punched the game board right off of the table, throwing cards and pieces in random directions. Soon, everyone was frantically running around the basement, trying to recover them.
".Dylan, your sister's gonna kill us!" Jill cried,"How could you do something retarded like that!?"
"My THREE year old sister!?"
".Well, your mom would stick up for her with a rolled up newspaper! WHY!?
"Those chocolate marshes get me every single fricking time!" Dylan screamed.
"So!?" Jill explained,"The whole game I kept drawing bad cards, so my piece was sitting three spaces from the start on the plum orchards.and do you see me complaining!?"
".Hey." I informed,"Guys, we're three pieces short."
"Where are they!?" Dylan demanded.
"Well, I scanned the whole."
"Shut up! Dude, just find them!!"
".Wow!" I heard Dan laugh in the corner, as we all turned an about face. We spotted him holding one of the playing pieces, while his cheeks bulged as if something were in them.
"Dan!?"
".Why, these look so good!" Dan grinned, dangling one over his mouth,"Mmm, they're like little Pillsbury doughboys!! I think I'll let you come into my belly."
"No!" we pleaded,"Dan, NO!"
It was too late; Dan turned his head towards us so quickly, that the pieces in his mouth slipped down his throat,"Urp!"
".Crap." We all sighed.
An innocent, befuddled stare marked the start of a chaotic period; involving Dylan's mom wearing plastic gloves and Dan constantly visiting the upstairs bathroom. While Dylan's little sister was jumping on her older brother, they recovered the pieces again and cleaned them just in time before Dylan's little sister's bedtime activity.a warm, fuzzy game of Candy Land. She never and never will know. We'd never forget that day.

I slipped back into the present,"..I think we should just keep Jeff."
"YAY!!" Jeff cheered. ".Everyone make a spot check." "Uh.alright," we all tossed a dice.only I passed the check.
As Dylan was about to speak, Jill clearly stated her arguing for once,"What are we making a spot check for?"
"Uh."
"C'mon! Tell us!"
"Dude, I'm the DM, so sit tight and listen up, you."
".This was the 15th spot check we've had in the last five minutes.and most of them were issued just so that we could notice someone that was standing right behind us!"
"And.your point, dude!?"
"What I'm saying is that if we're professionals, why do we have to bother with it anyway? Hey, we're in a room with a switch in it.roll a spot check. I mean, it's obvious to them, isn't it? We're not stupid or anything."
All of us stared at Burger, who was making hand-prints in the moldy pizza and chuckling to himself. Once we were all finished with observing him, Jill finished her comment.
".Well.."
"I wanna do something, man," Jeff laughed,".Like, cool."
"Dude, a Chihuahua just hit you in the nuts."
"So?" "Screw you and the spot check then. While Jeff is keeled over screaming for his uncle, the Poochyena runs back to the owner.Lady Silverlake herself. She is being escorted by two angry-looking bodyguards. Take actions."
".Uh." all of us pondered.
Dylan hummed to himself while awaiting an answer.
".Uh.hey," Jill grinned.
"Wow! How'd you score that mansion from 50 cent!?" Jeff screamed frantically. Dylan responded by slapping him in the face with his book,"Ow.man, dude."
"I told you, dude!" Dylan shouted,"You got hit in the crotch, so you lose your testosterone and the ability to do anything for the next three turns.and SPEECH is right in that category, you dumb sack of hammers..!!"
While they were bickering, my mind waded itself into the imaginary world that was being unfolded before the lips of Dylan. There I was, beholding the beautiful lady Silverlake, peering into the endless, metallic pits of her eyes.while Jeff rolled around on the grass, wailing.as.
"Dude.DUDE!" Dylan struck me on the forehead with his rulebook,"YOUR TURN!"
"Wha.." I gasped.
"Must've been the soda can concussion," Jill replied,".Just do something."
"Yeah..so, we're looking for this.uh.um.this unicorn horn," I guessed,"That we were gonna.uh.kill this red dragon named Smaug with so that we could get the Sorcerer's Stone."
"More like Sorcerer's Stoner!" Dylan screamed,"God, dude, PAY ATTENTION!"
"Ok, I'm trying here."
"I MEAN IT, DUDE! I stayed up all night putting this campaign together!!"
"ALRIGHT!" I screamed.
"So.let's try this again." Dylan gave me a signal for me to take action.
".Do you know where the Dragon Fang is?"
Dylan fell off of his chair as he raised another pestered scream.

"Yee hee hee.my pool of darkness vanquishes THEE!!" a little boy wearing a black wizard cap shouted at a small boy after defeating him at a card game,"Go and cry, ye little pathetic trainer!!"
As the little boy that he defeated ran away with a sob, a dark red wall of cotton intercepted his path. The crying little boy, pulling his eyes away from the stains he put on the wall, stared up at the teenager that he had run into. A teenager wearing a dark red hoodie.
".So," Dan protected the boy,"You like to harass small children, don't ya?"
"He just got in the way of my pool of darkness deck! Hee hee hee!!" the rude boy laughed,"Care to be in the way TOO!?"
"Normally, harassing small children is what I eat for breakfast, but in this case." Dan rolled his sleeves up,"I don't like watching some Harry Potter dork do it for me. Prepare to get your cloak-wearing ass kicked!"
"My pool of darkness swallows all other pokemon!" he pulled a deck of pokemon cards from his pocket,".And my dark pokemon cards'll swallow you TOO!!"
Dan was red with shame, realizing that he wasn't challenging him to a real fight,"Oh.I see.well, your pool of darkness may be all dark and swallowing and stuff."
The kid still had that smug on his face, while he clutched the deck with an outstretched hand. Dan was getting ideas as the time passed.
".But I know the only way that it can be beaten."
"Oh, REALLY, MORTAL!?"
".Oh yeah," Dan chuckled,"Don't get me wrong, anyone can do it!"
"Why don't ya show me!? The gods of darkness demand that you make your SACRIFICE!! HEE hee hee."
"Taken some religion pills lately?" Dan joked,"Well, darkness has one weakness."
"."
"Want me to tell ya?"
".My dark pokemon cards are waiting!"
".If your super-duper dark pokemon can crush any card out there, then the only way to counter dark is with the light of God's Finger Flick of Divine Proportions! Hi-YA!!"
WHACK! Dan raised his hand and with a flick of his index finger, sent all the cards of his deck flying in random directions! Before the bewildered boy could react, Dan readied his middle finger for another flick that landed square between the two lenses of his glasses!
"You can't do that.!" he whined,"WHHHAAAH!!!"
"Well, I don't see why you have any reason to be picking on little kids, you selfish brat," Dan laughed,"See, what did I tell you? It can beat anything."
"I'm gonna make my mom beat you up!!"
".Really? Sure," Dan threw him a coin,"Here, take a quarter; have some little British girl fix those glasses with some magic spells or something.(Dan turns quickly to the boy he had defended.) Hey, you better get going before I decide to pick on you next!"
As the little boy ran off, a happy tear fell from his eye. Perhaps he found a new friend in someone.

"So, everyone is invited into the mansion of Lady Silverlake, OK? Now.everyone make spot checks."
"Again!?" we all let the dice tumble onto the surface of the table. Dylan peered over the numbers that we had rolled and turned back to his book.
".And there, you see the butler."
"OH..ok." everyone sighed as we collected our dice.
"One question, dude," Jeff butted in,"If we're meeting Lady Silverlake, wouldn't she be in a CASTLE?"
"What the hell, dude, shut up!" Dylan grumbled after a long silence,"Don't ask me anything, it was in the campaign section of the DM guide.seriously, don't ask. But what I was saying was that you see the butler, and he approaches you..take actions."
"Carry on the campaign already!" Jeff laughed,"I wanna kick someone's ASS!"
"DUDE!" Dylan shrieked,"But anyway, he offers you a cup of tea. Make spot checks."
Everyone in the room grumbled as Dylan rebuked his request.
".Ok, you all just take a cup of tea. Now, the butler explains that what you're drinking is a cup of Silverlake herbs, a rare spice that seems to grow on the Silverlake mountains of Silvershire of."
"Wow, it's just a role-playing game, dude." Jill argued,"We're not on a whale watch here."
"Jill. shut up. It was in the DM guide, so don't piss me off!" Dylan shrieked,"As you are drinking the tea, you are led upstairs by the butler to an elaborate table.where many pokemon trainers are seated here and there, some that you two (points to Jill and Jeff.) defeated in your travels yesterday. Now, as you look to the end of the table by the fireplace, roll a spot check."
"Uh.you just told us to look there." we all sighed.
".Oh, my bad. There, you see Lady Silverlake dressed in a beautiful mythril gown, her fingers, hands and breasts adorned with diamond and silver jewelry."
"." Jill shuddered as anger overtook her. This was only a side of her anger that revealed itself when this came up,".Her.BREASTS!?!?"
"WHOO-HOO!" Jeff screamed,"Breasts!! Something good happens!!"
"What?" Dylan asked.
"..Please call it chest."
"Why? Breasts are." Dylan grew afraid, as he was her boyfriend and he knew about this,".Well, technically, in tantamount have the same meaning as a chest."
"." Jill wasn't fazed.
".But breasts are what a woman has, you see."
"Call them a breast, then."
"But women have two breasts, you see." Dylan explained what was wrong,".But we refer to them as knockers, jigglers, Yoo-Hoos or melons, and bountiful cornucopias.or even better, using pokemon as slang to refer to them, should I mention Jigglypuffers and Kangasknockers.well, we men. But trust me, breasts is the least invoking of all boobular vocabulary.as you being a feminist.Jill."
"Yeah! Jill is a GIRL!!" Jeff screamed.
".Breast can also be used to refer to chest, so use that." Jill negotiated.
"Hey, Dylan!!" Jeff screamed,"Can I touch her boobs?"
"Wha.?" Dylan appeared disgruntled.
"Yeah! You said she was HOT! So I get to touch her boobs!"
"Jeff, you.!" Jill grew enraged,"Dylan, you let him roll a charm check, I'm gonna come over there and kick you in your nether regions!"
"." Dylan locked his gaze on her for a minute, then defied her entirely,".Ok Jeff, roll a charm check!"
"Yeah, baby!!" Jeff grabbed two dice and went to roll them, but apparently, he was visualizing that those two dice were something else, so the end result involved us looking at him annoyingly while he fidgeted the dice in his palm. Unnerving, it was.
Dylan finally swiped them from his unaware hands and declared,"If you can't stop visualizing it, I think I'm gonna have to do it for you.you bony little pervert."
"Heh heh heh." Jeff giggled.
".Uh..no," Dylan replied,"So, you flex your muscles, but see that there is only flab.so you sit down with the rest of the trainers feeling ashamed."
"But dude, I didn't get to touch her boobs." Jeff whined as Jill traded her boyfriend a wink of approval.
".Now, roll a spot check.(Dice roll, grumbles.).You see that some food has been served under your chins (More grumbles.) as you consume this quality delicacy.tender steak and corn drenched in sugar and butter."
"Is it Green Giant corn!?" Jeff screamed,"Where's the Green Giant!?"
"Dude."
"You shouldn't buy non-Green Giant corn because those other guys want to be like it!" Jeff ranted on pointlessly,"It tastes like Styrofoam!!.Hey, can I try to touch her boobs again!?"
"Roll a charm check then, you moron (Jeff rolls dice, Jill growls.) Obviously, your charisma doesn't make the check, so you fail miserably and lose a turn!"
"But the rulebook doesn't say that!!"
"Yes it does."
"No!!! I won't stand for it!!"
"Do you want to be kindly escorted upstairs?" Dylan asked,".Or I can get Dave to beat you senseless with a meatball grinder!"
"." Jeff sighed, wiping away a tear.
".I knew it. But the Lady brings up your next assignment; strange pokemon have been appearing all over Silverdale, leaving towns and cities in ruins and terrorizing countless people."
"Wow.I've never heard of a pokemon that could do that!" I gasped,"IT sounds pretty dysfunctional."
"They're called the Unown!" Dylan grinned,"They can recreate people's wishes into monstrous beings, and turn them against humanity."
"The Unown don't do that." I scratched my head,"From those stories I heard about that girl Molly, totally not."
"That's the thing, Skye," Dylan replied,".The Lady believes that even though the brutality displayed by the creatures seems to choose it's targets almost randomly, she thinks that someone could be responsible for the pokemon attacks." "But pokemon aren't naturally evil." Jill asked,"People make them that way, mattering how you train them." ".But that would apply and contradict naturally good as well," Dylan explained,"Whatever they are, the attacks are linked to an organization called Neo-Team Rocket.and the best trainers would have an opportunity to investigate just how well they're tied to these Unown and the creatures that they have sent upon the land." "I wanna touch her boobs, but is there anything in it for us.?" Jeff blatantly asked. ".Yes," Dylan replied. ".That involves touching her boobs?" Dylan paid no attention to him,".Now, she says that she would be in your debt if you brought whoever organized these strange incidents to their knees.and apparently, all of the best pokemon trainers have been gathered here on order to fulfill this task.but wait!" "Yes!" Jill got excited,"We.we.played a successful five minutes of Pokemon Epics.without any interruptions! Now, all we need to do is keep it up, and." ".Hold up! I wanna feel her rack!" Jeff blatantly screamed. ".Then roll a charm check!!" Dylan laughed, finding it rather entertaining for once. "ARGH!" Jill growled,"You horrible." "Alright!!" The dice landed face up, but with unexpected results, and Jeff winced. "Again, the check fails, proving once again that directing animal noises at women was never successful in the first place!" Dylan laughed,"So, you lose again." ".Aww." ".Another turn," Dylan smiled,"An assassin.I mean, suddenly, the chandelier rattles and everyone shoots their gaze up into the rafters of the hall.roll a spot check." "Wow, I totally saw that one coming," Jill sighed, releasing her dice. ".The Lady is the last to look upwards, backing up from her seat in such a sudden way that her boobs jiggle a bitsy." "We were doing so good, until this!!" Jill almost pounced onto her boyfriend, if it weren't for the soda can on her lap,".Until you and Jeff blew the morals of the game.!!" "Yeah!" Jeff cheered,"Shake, rattle or roll, I'm IN, BABY!! Charm CHECK!" "What did I just say!?" Dylan screamed,"Lossage of turns for YOU!" "I don't wanna miss any turns! I just want to touch her boobs!" "Not while I, as a woman, remain here.you will never get what you want!" Jill argued. ".Just one little touch." "Did everyone roll a spot check!?" Dylan asked,"If you did, or haven't, SHUT UP!" "Why do we if we know that the assassin is already up there!?" Jill turned away from arguing with Jeff for a moment. ".But those are the rules.he is up there, but you need to roll a spot check in order to actually see him." "You mentioned that an assassin was up there!" "Is the assassin a chick!?" Jeff screamed. "What's your point!?" "My point is that everything that you say applies to our existence in the Pokemon Epics world," Jill explained,".If you say that there is a trainer waiting before us, then we know. If you say that there is a city before us, or a marketplace, or a bush that Jeff can urinate on, it is all part of the plot to carry on the course of things. Your words are our awareness. But if you haven't told us, then obviously we haven't brought our attention to it yet. To not explain what is going on is to reveal that we are oblivious to what is going on behind the scenes. Hence, the DM." "." the only response that Jill received from her speech was a galley of astonished, confused faces and minds that were rarely exposed to interesting explanations. Burger, who had thrown a slice of moldy pizza onto the ceiling, looked up just in time as it fell onto his head. The slapping noise of the pizza hitting his forehead broke us out of the trance. ".Does she have boobs!?" Jeff asked out obscenely. "Uh." I moaned obliviously, trapped within my own trance. A tedious drop of drool edged itself just around the corner of my mouth.
"The assassin grabs Lady Silverlake by the neck and threatens to cut her throat with a dagger that he had concealed up his sleeve! As all of the guests back away from the perpetrator, all of you rise from your seats as the Golbat swoops down upon..(dice roll.) the bat attacks JEFF! Golbat attacks with Spiral Dive.(dice roll.).Jeff takes 18 damage and.(rolls dice again.).Jeff is stunned for 2 rounds!"
"What!? Dude, you're so abusing me!" Jeff protested.
Dylan continued,"Everyone roll initiative.(everyone but I decides to roll.) Dude, wake up!"
"That is so sexist, you pigs!" Jill screamed,"You had to make our contact some Bootylicious elf chick just so that you can squeeze her butt cheeks.you perverts!!"
"HEY! I WANNA KICK THE GOLBAT'S ASS!!" Jeff screamed.
"You lost your turn!"
"I demand a plot change!!" Jill added.
"Jill, you see here.JEFF!! Hey, I told you that."
"I wanna roll a charm check!!"
"Ok, here." Dylan tossed the dice while pushing a wind-milling Jill off of his shoulder,".No, that action counts as your loss of rounds, so you don't charm her.ok, Jill, back off."
"You're not going to harass that poor lady!"
"Why not!?" Jeff asked.
"Because you are just adding to the perverted psyche of each and every fat guy present in this card store!! Eew, Burger, that's so gross!!"
"Huh huh," neglected in the corner, Burger was throwing slices of the moldy pizza at the life-size Captain Kirk replica. Meanwhile, Dylan was throwing a fit trying to retain the order.
Jill added,"I am going to attack the assassin with my Shroomish's Stun Spore ability.(rolls dice.)"
"Success!" Dylan slapped the surface of his DM Guide,"The pollen flutters just over the head of the assailant, sending a shock through all of his nerves.(rolls dice.) he drops the knife and releases the Lady.."
"He let her go!?" Jeff laughed,"Yeah, I wanna make out with her! Charm check!!"
".God, stop making charm checks!" Dylan shouted.
"Yeah, you sicko!" Jill responded,"I am going to smack him!!"
"Really?" Dylan laughed so hard that the dice fell from his fingers,"Jill succeeds in landing a pimp slap right into Jeff's face.minus two hit points."
"You hit me!?" Jeff argued back,"I'm gonna hit her back! I wanna hit Jill and make out with Lady Silverlake!! And kick something's ASS!!"
"You're still disabled, you fool!" Dylan argued, frantically flipping through the pages when his eyes lit up with a brilliant plan,".But as the conflict goes on, the assassin retaliates by calling forth his Golbat's Supersonic attack.(rolls dice.) it succeeds upon each one of you except Skye."
".Uh.." I sighed as I visualized the battle going on in the dining room, flinching as the imaginary Golbat drew closer with it's gaping jaws.suddenly, I sent forth a pokemon that appeared as a ghost type.which reflected the sound waves back at the creature.
I gasped as Dylan recited everything that had just occurred; did I just express myself out loud?
Forgetting that I had spoken of my actions that turn, Dylan replied,"Hey, did you hear that!? Skye's gonna use his ghost pokemon's psychic abilities to reflect the sonic waves back at the Golbat."
"Huh?" I gasped, seeing that my unintentional plan had earned me some credited oohs and aahs. Awe directed towards me was few and far between during our get-togethers, but hey, it was well earned and it felt pretty good.
Dylan rolled some dice to see if my plan would work. As they showed their faces, Dylan frowned shortly, shrugged, then announced with denial,".You didn't.it.well, the thing was, the plan was so cool, and now would be a good time for something exciting and awesome and all John Woo to happen."
"Wow, really?" I asked.
"Heck, we needed the charisma."
"Hey! Dude, where's my charisma!?" Jeff shouted.
"You still lost it trying to make Miss Silvie horny."
"Aww."
"Why would she flirt with a fat teenager anyway!? She's royalty, for crying out loud." Jill joked,"And look at his pimples."
Dylan gave her an approving nod, although not leaving her a direct answer.
The game continued,"Dudes, Skye's awesome pokemon skills bring order back to the skirmish, as Skye's Misdreavus reflects the sonic waves right back at the assassin and his Golbat.and the pokemon experiences a confusion check for the sonic waves.and, score! The assassin is frazzled by Golbat's unusual flying patterns.and the guests gasp and marvel the one and only Skye Grendhert, the awesome-ist pokemon trainer.."
".Hey, I want to do something cool too!" Jeff added.
"Too bad!" Dylan cut him off,"If you think that I'm gonna believe you, knowing that you just want to handle the lady's packages again, you must assume that I am an idiot. Hence, that won't be the case, and you can just sit down, shut up and take your lost turn like a man should!"
"What happens next, Dylan!?" Jill cheered,"Wow, this game's gettin fun!"
"Oh, believe me.it is," Dylan smirked,".Now, he cannot tell friend from foe here, so I have to give you all a number, including the lady and the assassin, to who the Golbat lunges for. Now, Jeff's 1."
"Yeah!! Number one!" Jeff laughed.
"Jill, you're two," Dylan continued,"Skye, you'll be three."
"OK."
".Jeff will be four.heh heh.." Dylan laughed slyly,"Burger will be five."
"Huh huh huh.." The secluded Burger, remaining an overlooked mystery throughout the game, chuckled to himself while he flicked pizza crumbs at a Spinarak that had ascended onto the far end of the table. The spider pokemon leapt onto each crumb that Burger flicked at it, seemingly irritated.
".The lady will be six. Seven can be the assassin, and eight and nine are two of the guests..and I might as well assign Jeff the remaining nine, ten, eleven and twelve on the dice.."
"Wait a minute.." Jeff plotted to himself.
"Hmm, so this is a D-20." Dylan scratched his chin,"OH well, let's give Jeff all the other numbers!!"
".Aren't my chances of getting attacked by the bat a bit high?" Jeff wondered.
"Oh, you didn't hear me say anything. Let's just assume that there is a slim chance that anything'll attack you. Now, the dice falls from the hands of the DM, the one and only god of tabletop games."
".Oh." we all gasped, watching the dice fall to the table, teetering on one of it's edges before it came to a complete stop.
".Golbat dives for the Lady!" Dylan screamed,"Skye thinks what has he done!?"
"Out of all the people, the LADY!?" Jill screamed,"You.YOU SEXIST!! You benefit from the pain of GIRLS!?"
"No.Jill," Dylan grinned,".Don't forget, because you're a girl, too."
".Yeah.I guess.but still."
"What you done made us a bunch of merry men!" Dylan shouted,"The Golbat latches onto the Lady, biting down on her."
"No." we all gasped. Jill grew steadily more upset.
".Her.her.whatever holds her gown together!!" Dylan laughed, fighting off a cussing Jill,"Now, we roll a stability check.and.and..Yes, YES!! Finally.!"
"What!?" I shouted, realizing that the game was about to turn an awry corner.
"A tearing sound is heard as one of the shoulder straps comes apart, revealing one of her.her, yes.yes.yes." Dylan shuddered,"Her fresh, ripe."
"How.how." Jill pummeled Dylan senselessly,"YOU TRAITOR!! YOU chauvinistic little turncoat! YOU.YOU HORRIBLE..!!"
"Wheee! Grocery shopping!!" Jeff laughed.
I was utterly breathless. Was I imagining what was going on? Yes, but it was garbled and difficult to interpret, and I fell into a haze.I zoned out again amongst the confusion.
"Can I roll a charm check!? Can I roll a charm check!?"
"No, rolling fortitude saves.now!" Dylan threw everyone a dice, but I was the only one with whom the dice just deflected off of my forehead, but nobody really cared to notice. Jill refused the dice, continuing to pummel her boyfriend.
"What are those for!?" Jeff asked.
"You roll one when you encounter an intimidating pokemon." Dylan explained with a shaky voice,"Or you witness a pile of treasure.or.stunning beauty.yes."
"."
"It's how well you can hold yourself together.but the chances of you resisting it are entirely nil."
"." Jeff was still fazed.
".Let's say it'll be the only perfect circle you see in your lifetime!"
"YAYY!!"
".OR the hardest fist that'll ever be propelled at high, record speeds into one's face.!" Jill wound her arm back to strike Dylan with all of her force, but instead, she fell off of her chair face-first. She never rose after that.
".My god.all of you failed the check." Dylan laughed,"Hee hee.while all of you are stunned by the sight of freshly exposed grapefruit, we can roll fortitude saves for the guests.and your pokemon."
"Uh." Jill got to her feet, dazed.
".Misdreavus is now foaming from the mouth." Dylan informed,"Ooh."
"Why does this have to happen?" Jill simply stated out,"Why, the misery."
"There's no pain in touching boobs!" Jeff laughed,"It's fun! You should try it!"
"Heh," Dylan laughed back,"Yeah, sure.like a loser like you who sits in a card store all day playing imaginary role-playing games is gonna get it on with anyone!"
"Hey.that sounds like someone I know." Jeff scratched his head.
"Uh." Jill put her head onto the table. Burger lazily threw a ball of mold that landed right inside of her hood with a smile.
".CHARM CHECK, NOW!!" Jeff screamed, throwing a dice. Instead of landing on the table, it struck me right in the naked eye.
"Ahh!" I shouted just as Dylan's dice hit the table.
"Why, Lady Silverlake is mine."
"What.!" Jeff and Jill gasped.
Jill intervened,".That was your plan all along, wasn't it!? To make out with an imaginary girl."
"With power?" I asked out.
".Hell yeah!" Dylan cheered,"If she was hot, and she was there, she was mine!"
"No.she is not!" Jeff stood up against him.
"Who says?"
"ME!!"
"I am the DM." Dylan stuck his chin out,"So far, that means that you are all inferior beings that are only pawns to the true story. The story was destined for me to grope Lady Silverlake."
".Perv!" Jill went to choke Dylan, but he backhanded her off of the chair.
".I'm.I'm." Jeff sobbed,"Gonna win Lady Silverlake!"
"By what? Making pointless insults?" Dylan replied,"Because of my high charisma ratings, I get to roll three D20, while you get a measly one D4. There is no way you can beat me in a duel of wit and charm!"
"Yeah! I can do it!"
"With what odds against you?"
".You're odd!"
"I can say the same for you."
"Then.I challenge you to a." Jeff got to his feet and put his fists up. Meanwhile, Dylan stood up and did the same, as the both of them shouted,"D10 BATTLE!!!"
".Oh god, somebody save me." I sighed.
"I'll roll for you!" Jill grabbed a dice off of the table,".But I'm rooting for Jeff!"
"Yeah! I'm gonna kick his perverted ass!" Jeff laughed stupidly.
"Try as you might.Lady Silverlake's pretty pink pearls for me to handle!"
"But I'm gonna win em back and look cool!"
"You couldn't even beat Halo on Legendary Mode, loser!!"
"Two angry combatants in hoodies and poor come-on lines make up most of the composition of a D10 fight!!" Jill issued commentary,"In the left corner, you have Dylan, the master of role play and Mug root beer bonging! And in this corner is another table shark loser.JEFF!! Poor use of pokemon and making irrelevant sexual comments, not to mention the one that always catches it in the crotch!"
"YAAY!!" Jeff cheered.
"Roll for initiative.Dylan moves first with a quick jab." Jill rolled the dice,".And connects! Minus 10 of Jeff's HP!"
"OW!" Jeff whined, returning a hook.
".She rolls.and he misses!" Jill shouted,"Jeff's already missed his first shot, and with Dylan in the lead..he hits with a straight punch.minus 12 of Jeff's HP.just how can we count on the Jeff-ster for victory!?"
"Take this!" Jeff kicked Dylan in the stomach.
"Wheh!" Dylan squeaked.
"Minus 15 HP fro Dylan! Could he be making a comeback!?"
"You're supposed to get to a girl from the heart!" Jeff responded,"Not make vulgar remarks and slap her in the face for fun! I know yer gonna do that, and that's wrong!!"
"An imaginary girl!?" I thought,"Now this is where they get their practices in.."
".Wham! Dylan kicks Jeff in the stomach back.but he misses!" Jill continued,"Jeff steps backwards, performing a dodge check.he evades a hook from Dylan! The dice crashes down as Jeff comes back up for a counterblow..ooh! Minus 9 of Dylan's dwindling HP!"
".You..you diprod!" Dylan complained.
"Heh heh heh.yeah! Take it!"
".My character is 10 levels higher than yours!"
"That doesn't mean anything to me!"
"That's why my punches hurt more! They're leveled up!"
"Yeah, sure they are!"
"Take this!"
"I can take anything!!"
"Can you, carrot top!?"
"Yikes!" Jeff fled from the blow.
"Could it be!?" Jill leaned forwards with a surprised look on her face,"Could he have been throwing the fight!? No, it couldn't be! Jeff failed the fortitude check.and now he hides behind someone that sticks up for him.Burger!?"
"WHEEH!!" Dylan whined as Burger scooped him up by his hood and outstretched his arm so that he dangled uselessly as he flailed his arms and legs around in an attempt to be released.
".No more," Burger sighed.
"WHEEEH!! Behalf of the DM, I order you to let me go!"
"Burger never lets go of a hot dog!" Jeff laughed,".Since he cares so much about food, he wouldn't put you down either!"
"WHEEEH!! WHEEEEH!!"
".Say you're sorry!"
"WHEEH! NO!!"
"Say it, now!"
".Sorry," Burger scratched his head as if Dylan was weightless.
"Wh.EEEEH!!"
Jill rolled a dice,"Dylan manages to wriggle free from Burger's grasp!" "GRR! WHEH! WHEH!" Dylan threw aimless punches, but Burger leaned out of the way of all of them. "He's totally missing his target." " And as a retaliation action for his turn, he runs into Burger head first with his fists flying! Little by little, Burger's resilient fat repels most of the damage to a mere 2 points." Jill raised her arm to throw a dice, but once Dylan had shoved Burger into the wall, the impact of it made it fly out of her hand without her realizing it! Instead, it flew into my mouth and tumbled down my throat! Jill hadn't noticed, though, and picked up a new one.
"Ow.!" Burger gasped as Dylan pinned him against the wall, his fists burying themselves into his stomach.
"You never interfere within the DM's affairs, rules, games, or conflicts alone!" Dylan whined, syncopating each punch with a word".You.shall.not..defy.me!"
"Yup," Burger nodded sleepily, I desperately tried to free the plastic object from my throat, but it was no use. No matter how much I writhed and groped, the effort was futile and it ended up somewhere in my stomach. ".Don't make me," Burger remained unaffected. ".Take this, you clumsy Big and Tall shopper!!" Dylan screamed. "Dylan jumps straight up with an uppercut.but wait!" Jill grew more and more excited,".Burger goes for the counter check.he succeeds! Dylan's little girl slaps are no match for the hulking Burger, as he plucks his victim up by the hoodie." "Wheeeh!!" Dylan shrieked childishly, flailing his arms and slapping Burger's cheeks at almost breakneck speed, the sounds of the impacts echoing off the cold, cement walls. Burger then put another hand under his stomach, raising Dylan over his head! Shifting his hands quickly enough, he then gradually began to spin him around in circles. "Could it be!? Burger's gonna throw Dylan like a pizza pie!" Jill joked in an Italian accent. "Dude! DUDE!!" Dylan screamed,"WHEEEEH!!"
I coughed endlessly, still not believing the fact that I swallowed a dice.
"Speaking in his Dylanic language, we can thoroughly translate that as." Jill imitated his facial expression as Burger whirled him around even faster,"Get me the hell off this thing.!!"
"WHEEEH!!"
".I think.we'll never know." Jill continued to comment,"Burger has enough momentum to propel him across the room! But which continent on the opposite hemisphere will he end up in!? We hope to God that he isn't directed into the country of Solid Brick Wall."
"Ulp." I sighed, feeling the dice in my aching stomach.
"Now, the dice roll.the one dice roll to rule them all." Jill grew suspenseful.
Now spinning him so quickly to that as a blur, Burger finally released Dylan, sending him squealing through the air.face first into the pile of old, cardboard boxes in the corner! Jill ducked behind a chair as smaller boxes and Styrofoam chunks rained down on us. Whine I was keeled over feeling my stomach process the dice, a box nailed me in the back of the head,".Ow."
"Yeah." Jeff emerged from under the table,".I.won.I WON!!"
"But who did!?" Jill announced,"Burger did all of the work for you.."
"But I won Lady Silverlake back!" Jeff grabbed the collar of Burger's hoodie,"I get to be a cool pokemon trainer.all to the thanks of my 'Summon Burger' ability!"
Amidst the excitement, nobody but the reader heard Dylan utter,".That's.wheh.not in.the rulebook.wheh."
"I can't believe it! I'm the awesomest pokemon trainer in the world!"
"That's great that he persevered, but you didn't even use any pokemon during that fight.Jeff, you're not even a registered trainer."
"Yeah.I am."
"In the real world, we're still a bunch of losers."
".But Lady Silverlake loves me.that's so great."
".Getting a mouthful.of." Dylan arose from the crates, brushing off the dust and cobwebs,".old, processed, recycled Chinese newspapers.is so great! Isn't it!?"
His sarcasm seemed garbled, but we figured that out once he spit out all of the Styrofoam bits that filled his mouth. Then, he pushed Burger aside to get to Jeff.
"That's it." Dylan rolled his sleeves up,"It's your turn." ".But I deleted your life points!" Jeff replied. "But.you ostracized me of my DM rank!" Dylan grabbed the collar of his hoodie,"You demerited me to private peon-with-the-slice-of-pizza-with-the- level-one-character!!" "What are you talking about!?" Jill shrugged. "Hey! HEY!" Jeff congratulated him to get off topic,"You said a fancy vocabulary word!" "So!? What's so fascinating about that when I can see how you talk with your jaw in three pieces!?" As we wound his fist back, Jill caught sight of three Spinaraks that had clung to the back of his sweater, making her jump out of her chair,"Dylan! Eek! Spiders!!" "What.WHEEEEEH!!" he screamed, along with everyone as he ran frantically around the room in an attempt to shake the pokemon off. Circling the room, he bumped into Burger and reversed his direction. "EEEEEK!!" Jill screamed as Dylan approached her.
"Get em off! Wheeh!!" Dylan whined, almost sitting on her lap,"Get em off!!"
"EEEEK!!" Jill kicked him in the rear, throwing her boyfriend into the crate pile again. As he fell into the boxes, the spiders scurried off.all of us laughed playfully as Dylan recovered, nodding.
".What time is it?" I blatantly asked.
"I've got a watch, so let me see." Jill peered at her wrist, then her eyes shot open,"Wow! We've been down here for three hours!! That's a campaign record! We just beat our previous time!"
"Really?" I asked,"What was the last record?"
".Six and a half." "No.I meant how long the chairs that we've been sitting in have remained at a constant temperature!" Jill removed a thermometer from under her chair,".And that constant degree has risen by 6 and a half Fahrenheit.oh, these things are steaming!"
"So that's how long we've been down here." I sighed out the expected answer,".Yeah.it's been an interesting experience.all of you.but."
Dylan shouted to Burger, who obstructed him from getting to Jeff,"Burger, if you don't move aside the way of the DM, I'm gonna choke you with a double cheeseburger!"
It seemed that Burger liked the sound of that.
".No.with a condiment-free Boca burger!" Dylan finally succeeded in removing Burger from his path, sending him whining for the corner,"Now, for you, Jeff.I finally get to kick your."
"Dude! Spider!" Jeff pointed to his shoulder.
"Wha." Dylan turned around, only to find that he had been tricked. It was such a quick reflex that he spun off of his feet and smacked his forehead into a chair on the way down,"OW!!"
"I should get going now.I have things to carry out in order to get my ACTUAL license.and Dan.I have no clue what he's doing."
"So," Jill raised a dice and droped it onto the table,".Skye rolls a listen check."
Suddenly, I heard a crashing noise and the slam of a door from the top of the stairwell, and I ran over wito everyone else to investigate. As on cue, I spotted Dan, pushing himself against the door as hard as he could while the shouts of angry people on the other side struck against it, trying to get to him.
"Dude, you gotta help me," Dan said rapidly in one breath.
"What did you get yourself into this time!?"
"I.I made remarks about the Star Wars kid, and now hear those unhappy campers?" Dan panicked,"They're trying to beat me senseless with replica light sabers."
"This is bad." I sighed,"This is all turning out bad."
"I'm rolling a fortitude save for Dan!" Jill shouted,".Crap.he failed it!"
"OW!!" Dan grunted as the door burst open, sending him tumbling down the stairs! Just as he was about to hit the wall head first, his head expanded like a balloon! The bouncy latex surface took the absorption of the impact against the wall.
"What the."
"DAN!" I screamed,"You're.
"He's an alien!" Jeff screamed.
"No I'm not!" Dan laughed after he landed safely onto his butt, removing the balloon that was shaped like his head and exposing his true face,"Gee, what did ya think of my Airbag Dan? Creepy, huh? Saves a life or two, you know."
Unfortunately, the angry crowd had gotten halfway down the stairway, making my friends withdraw, while I stood there and watched with confused horror. "That kid!"
"Hey! Why don't you try talking smack about Glenn now!?"
"HA HA HA!!" Dan back defiantly.
"He thinks that he's a loser!"
"What should we do!? He thinks that his parents have no right to sue!"
"He made jokes about his weapon too."
"What do we do.you know what to do! Kill him!!"
Dan was then bombarded by salvos of plastic spaceships,"Aah! Tie Fighters!!"
Just as things seemed desperate, the scream of children came from upstairs,"EEEK!! My cards!"
"That sounds like.." Dan scratched his head.
"An excuse to get out of here and become a real pokemon trainer!" I laughed.
"But how can we get through those people!?" Dylan pleaded.
"They've got no right to obstruct us from something desperately.more important!" I replied,"Someone's in trouble, now, c'mon!"
Allowing us to go through, the other card store inhabitants only left their last insults with Dan, as we emerged onto the main floor, we ran around hectically until we ran into three little kids, whom Dan had encountered earlier.
"What? Who cried wolf here?" I asked. "They.they.!" one of them sobbed excessively, while the other completed his sentence.
"Who!?" Jill added.
"They took our cards!!"
"My pool of darkness.!" the third kid complained over sopping eyes,".Has been taken by infidels!!"
"!" Dan joked.
"How could you say something like that!?" Jill growled,"Not just are they animals to us, but you men are a bunch of selfish cowards!"
"Hey, quit it with the feminist acts of violence here!!" Dylan shouted.
"Why should I!? I am SPEAKING OUT FOR THE WORLD HERE!!"
"Then audition for the damn Flamingo Freedom Band or something.I'm sure they've got lots of open spaces for people like you."
"WHY YOU.!!"
"It's kinda funny watching you people argue about female pride, but doesn't the matter concern the cards!?" I broke up the fight,"And haven't you noticed the little hoodlum making for the door that we gave so much valuable time to!?"
"That's it!" Dan threw his arms to his sides,"I've had enough of these dorks!"
"Dan.I wouldn't." I gasped, peering at the angry mob that had chased him before. They extended the toy light sabers as a warning.
".Thinking that they can get in with the world by confiscating valuable things from other dorks!!" Dan shouted,"Dorks like that kid who will eventually come out worshipping some pagan cult, and seizing the minds of small children! Dorks like that kid who would don a black robe and sing atheistic hymns and light red candles! Dorks like that kid who, like him, drained some poor snakes's vital fluids all over the forehead of a little boy before attempting to sacrifice him to some demonic superior being..!"
"You watch too much DARK ANGEL!!" I screamed,"Now go get him already!!"
"Hit it!" Dan snapped his finger, cuing Dave to pull out a boom box from behind the counter. As he hit a button on its surface, the Mentos jingle began to play.
"Doo doo doo doo, doo-doo, do-WAHH!!"
The boy in the hoodie looked over his shoulder and gasped as Dan did a front flip over a table where two kids were playing with miniatures.
"It doesn't matter what comes, fresh goes better in life, and Mentos is fresh and full of life."
"Go, DAN!!" Dylan cheered,"Kick his ass!"
Ignoring us, Dan rolled under another table stood up so that he could pop a mint inot his mouth and smile. Everyone in the area though scolded him and pointed at the perpetrator getting away. With a surprised expression on his face, he lost his distraction and continued the chase.
".Nothing gets to you, staying fresh, staying cool.with Mentos fresh and full of life!"
The two old ladies, the British Goth kid and A.J randomly pointed at Dan with huge smiles stretched across their faces, while a man dropped a pizza on a little boy's head in order to do the same thing.
"Fresh goes better, Mentos freshness."
Dan wasn't running fast enough, so he deposited even more mints into his mouth and picked up speed. Meanwhile, the other boy was fumbling with the hefty door that led out of Mewtwo's Dungeon. It was all going in slow mo..
".Dan!" all of us screamed,"The pokeball!! The pokeball!!"
Turning around, Dan swiped a stray pokeball that was lying on a card table and faced his quarry. The door was halfway open.
"Fresh goes better with Mentos."
Winding his arm back, Dan hurled the pokeball with all of his strength; it forcefully connected against the bone that joins the skull and the top of the spine. The boy fell against the door, dropping the cards onto the doorstep.they disseminated onto the sidewalk, but they were there.
".Fresh and full of life!"
Suddenly, techno music blasted from the speakers of Dave's CD player as Dan literally emptied the entire package of mints into his mouth and slipped a pair of black shades onto his face. Someone else threw him a black overcoat.
"Wow." we were all astonished.
".He is.the One," someone replied in a deep voice. We turned around and saw that those words came from someone what looked and dressed like Lawrence Fishbourne.
Dan scooped the ball up in a split second, while a pudgy man ran up to Dan from behind. He put his hands out, allowing Dan to put his right foot onto them. With a boost, Dan flew up into the air and retracted his legs.
WHAM!! At the same time that some children held the door open, Dan jump-kicked the hoodlum right in the chest, sending him flying out through the doorway! Everyone grouped around the entrance to Mewtwo's Dungeon to observe; Some people in the front even spotted his unconscious body lying halfway across the parking lot.
".Wow." one of the little boys commented as Dan brushed off the coat, and returned both that and the shades to their rightful owners.
"Holy smokes!" the other boy shouted.
".Heh, I targeted his creature," Dan laughed, then realizing that he had consumed an entire package of strong mints, so he gripped his throat and gasped,"Ah, cold, cold, COLD!!"
"That was the coolest pool of darkness EVER!!" the third kid laughed, retrieving his cards with the rest of the children. Meanwhile, I met up with Dan; as he went to say something, I interrupted him.
"Wait.!" I stopped him by pushing his shoulder,"We gotta pose!"
We did an about face towards the crowd of people, sticking the peace sign with our fingers as someone shouted out,".Mentos, the freshmaker!" "Anyway, that was commendable." I commented after that brief moment,"Why don't you ever pull that Matrix-crap off in Ninjitsu class?"
"Uh.I think it was the mints or something.Ow!" Dan choked up a white pellet, which tumbled onto the floor,"Skye, do you mind getting out of here now? I want to ditch this place before something else stupid happens.suppose."
"Epic games decides to schedule their next Unreal Tournament here?"
"Yeah.yeah! That's it!" I laughed stupidly,".Why don't we go outside?"
".Sure!" Dan grinned,".Until these mints rupture my stomach wall."
As we departed Mewtwo's Dungeon, we waved back to the crowd and went along on our way. The three children, who had reclaimed their cards earlier, turned away from pummeling the card-stealer. Minutes after our departure, the customers and employees turned their gazes over their shoulders, where a lone man with a machine gun had crashed through the roof. Others followed.

"I'm telling you, Legendary Pokemon are speaking to me." "Yeah sure, Skye," Dan laughed,"Spacing out on us like Ashton Kutcher from a stoner flick is a sure get-go excuse for making us look like a bunch of idiots." "But I'm telling you the truth!" I claimed desperately,"That game that I was playing with Dylan and his friends involved pokemon battling! Immediately, something caught me in a trance, and the next minute those pokemon were there again!" "So what are you trying to tell me, huh?" "That I'm not being telepathically contacted by accident, that's what I'm trying to say!" "Oh great Skye, you're thinking of joining the Talbot gypsies, aren't you?" "Hey, it's Tyler again," I grinned, pointing into the distance at a shopping plaza, where I spotted our friend standing right across the street from us, which was like usual, bustling with traffic. Immediately, I went for the crosswalk. Dan though, instead, just walked across the street while I wasn't looking, with little or no concern for the oncoming cars whatsoever. I realized this once a couple car horns and screeching tires caught my eye.
"C'mon, wussy!" Dan shouted after he greeted Tyler,"You gotta learn to J-Walk!"
"Sorry Dan, I'm just not the Wall Street journalist type of crosser!"
Once I safely got across, I immediately reunited myself with my pals and engaged in a usual friendly conversation.well, of their content.
"We're gonna do shopping carts for this video, man!" Tyler butted in first,"But first, I gotta wait for Kevin's slow ass."
"Why?" I asked,"He's got the camera?"
"Nah," Tyler answered,"I ain't letting him borrow this thing even if he was face to face with a legendary pokemon! My dad would definitely rip me a new one.an he's also bringing Adam along for the fun!"
"Adam's coming?" Dan cheered,"Yes, yes, YES!"
".When he gets off the Magnet Train that's coming from New Briddan, we'll start rollin this thing," Tyler grinned,"It'll be awesome."
"DKY awesome!" Dan added.
"How long ago did Kevin leave for New Briddan?" I asked.
"Ah, once you left for Mewtwo's nerd world," Tyler remarked in a naughty manner.
"So, I guess it's been an hour," I smiled,"He'd be back any minute now."
"For the time being, let's get set up," Tyler led us down a grassy hill towards a cluster of parked cars,"I ain't waiting for damn Kevin anymore. He'll just have to find us!"
I was the last one to follow Dan and Tyler, because on the way between the vast jungle of cars and the shopping carriages was a flock of Taillows. These were small bird pokemon that looked like robins with pink chests and dark blue wings. Right now, they were interacting with a rival Pidgey, another bird pokemon, though chubbier, over something hidden in the grass.
Then, I heard a bark from the distance as a trainer with a Poochyena, a gray husky-esque pokemon with a black muzzle and paws, crossed paths with a female trainer leading a pink bulldog called a Snubble. Immediately, both pokemon began to bark continuously and uncontrollably at each other, making their trainers uneasy while they struggled to get them under submission.afterwards, I saw a giant caterpillar called a Caterpie slowly edging itself up the rim of a streetlight.
My mind had trailed off again!
"Hey, he's doing it AGAIN!" Dan complained to Tyler while they watched from a distance.
"Doing what? Standing there, stoned in one spot with a stupid expression glued on his face like some secluded orgy of Goth kids?"
"Yeah." Dan answered,"Something like that. Hey, Skye! SKYE! Snap out of it, Skye!"
HONK! An SUV searching for a parking place stopped right behind me and nailed the horn. That immediately brought me back into the physical state of mind.
".Huh!?" I gasped out loud, heeding Dan's call,"Coming!"
"You know, that habit of yours is beginning to tick me off." Dan protested.
"Just some.luscious scenery," I made an excuse to side track him, but judging his facial expression, that just wasn't enough.
"Here we go," Tyler removed a lone cart that was occupying part of a parking space,"Time to raise some hell."
Once we had the cart a few feet out of the space, I looked over my shoulder and spotted a group of kids advancing down the hill energetically towards our direction! A closer observation revealed that it was Kevin, with Dylan, Jill, Jeff, and Burger.
"WHEEEH!!" Dylan made his usual throat noise from a distance as all of them came together except Burger; he accidentally tripped and found himself rolling down the entire hill! Meanwhile we greeted, Burger reached the pavement and dizzily got to his feet, stumbling nauseously headfirst into a convertible.
"Eew," Jeff gagged,"Regurgitated furry pizza." "Hey guys!" I grinned,"What's up?"
"Adam got grounded!" Kevin answered,"Again."
"Damn it!" Dan complained.
".So I ran into Dylan and his friends here on the way back from the Magnet Train station.and they wanted to volunteer and stuff."
"Dude!" Dylan begged Tyler,"Can we? Can we, dude?"
"Yeah," Jeff added,"We're so bored, that we're too bored to waste away at Mewtwo's Dungeon playing Pokemon Epics."
"Wow." Dan back talked while he nudged Tyler's ribs with his elbow,"That's a first timer!"
"Huh huh huh," Burger eavesdropped with his dopey laugh,"Huh huh, huh huh."
".Ah, what the heck," Tyler approved,"We'll need you guys."
"Hooray!" all of them cheered with pride.
".But I have a rule for newcomers!" Tyler stopped them with a raised finger,".They get the free trial privilege of being the guinea pigs!"
".Dude!" Dylan claimed,"If anything happens to me, Elmwood Healthcare is gonna be pissed!"
".Total suck-age!" Jeff added.
"You're so not putting me in that position!" Jill whined, withdrawing from the proposal,"What an idiotic waste of time!"
"C'mon, Jill!" Dylan convinced,"Dude, we're all doing this!"
"But I'm NOT!"
"Fine, you wuss," Dylan raised his chin,"Just don't run to Laura Lessinger when you find yourself not being invited to my next Pokemon Epic party."
"Alright, enough yapping!" Tyler gave orders,"In the cart, you dorks!"
"How mean." I sighed.