Chapter 3
Yep, more to be added to the disclaimer list…
I do not own:
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Black Sabbath (It's a song by Ozzie Osborne, just so you know)
The Muppet's routine involving a lime and a coconut….
Teletubbies
Sesame Street
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Silverwane: I know…. Duke Devlin!
Joey: *pauses in trying to pulverize Kaiba* Duke Devlin isn't even here! *resumes trying to pulverize Kaiba*
Silverwane: Ah, Joey, you've forgotten the powers of the authoress…*snaps fingers* Hello Devlin….nice to see you here….
Devlin: Uh, why am I here? Who are you? Hey, its this bunch! *points at Kaiba* Who's he?
Joey: That wasn't a good thing to say, Duke…. Look at his face. It's turned all red and purple and stuff….
Silverwane: Ah yes, the egotistical Kaiba rage…
Kaiba: Who's….he?!?! Everyone knows who I am!!!! Except for lap dogs even more pathetic than Wheeler, which is obviously what you are
Devlin: Well sorry, man…. Whoa, is he okay?
Silverwane: I think he's only hyperventilating. Hey Yugi, could you pick up the telephone and dial a '9' and then two '1's?
Yugi: Sure!
Silverwane: Thank you. Now, does anyone know how to do CPR?
*silence*
Silverwane: Oh well. He'll wait. Now then…. There's a reason why I called you here, Devlin…
Devlin: Well, it better be good. I was down at the burger bar watching three morons going 'MINE!'. It was rather amusing….
Tristan: So they're STILL doing that?
Devlin: Well, duh. What did I just say?
Silverwane: Anyways, to the reason. We have been testing VirtualPets here, and you will be one of the testers.
Devlin: Really? Cool. So what new game is this?
Silverwane: *hands Devlin a pet rock VirtualPet* This game. *shoves Devlin into a broom closet and locks it* You get to remain in there for 12 hours.
Devlin: What? No! You can't do this to me! I… I have connections! I….I'll sue you!
Silverwane: Well, have a nice day to you too…
Devlin: I'll beh bahck!
Tea: -_- Arnold Schwarzenegger?
Silverwane: Gimme a break. I'm running out of ideas over here. Anyways, anyone have a proposal for what we will do for these next 12 hours?
Yami Bakura: *trudges in* Yeah, make them let go of the Millennium Rod long enough for me to establish control…
Malik: MINE!
Marik: MINE!
Malik: MINE!
Marik: MINE!
Silverwane: Er….anyone else?
Tea: We can all join in a circle and hold hands, singing a happy song of friendship! ^_^
Marik/Malik: *stop and stare at Tea* Friend…ship….?
Yami Bakura: They actually stopped going 'mine' O.O *looks at Tea* Either I should be on my knees worshipping you or laughing at your totally ludicrous idea….
Tea: Let's just be friends! ^_^
Pegasus: Oh goody. Let's all hold a retching session in the meantime…
Tea: Now that's not the way you act towards a friend
Pegasus: There's a reason for that…
Tea: No, I'm serious! We should all just be friends with each other and drop all grudges!
Malik/Yami: *give each other death looks*
Tea: Well, that's an improvement from trying to send each other to the Shadow Realm, I guess…. Anyways, lets all form a circle! ^_^
Silverwane: Anyone else have a suggestion of what we can do?
Joey: Pizza shop?
Silverwane: You've had quite enough to eat…
Joey: But I'll die of starvation if I can't eat something and soon…. The world…. Its spinning…. I can't…. control myself…. Must… Keep hold…. Of consciousness…. *falls to ground*
Silverwane: Oh dear…. Yugi, are you sure you hit two '1's when you dialed the phone?
Yugi: They're on hold right now…
Silverwane: *blink blink* Okay…. Anyways, anyone else have a suggestion?
Yugi: We could all get some more VirtualPets!
Characters: NO!
Silverwane: That's a great idea, Yugi! Here, everyone! *tosses a VirtualPet to everyone*
Malik: Now my slime mold has a slimy worm as a friend! We will take over the world together, my pets!
Pegasus: No, I will take my chicken and my new pet, an egg, and we will take over the world!
Yami Bakura: No, you fools. My turtle and my coral polyp will be by my side when I take over the world!
Marik: You're all wrong! With my tadpole and its newfound friend, a toad, I will be the one to take over the world!
Malik: Will not. I'm the one who controls the Millennium Rod
Marik: Oh yeah? Well, you're wrong. It's MINE!
Malik: No, it's MINE!
Marik: MINE!
Malik: MINE!
Marik: MINE!
Malik: MINE!
Yami Bakura: *makes a moaning noise reminiscent of a sick cow*
Pegasus: You two are annoying….
Silverwane: Well you sure don't have to be a rocket scientist to figure THAT out….
Marik: MINE!
Malik: MINE!
*************************************************
Six hours later…Marik: MINE!
Malik: MINE!
Marik: MINE!
Malik: MINE!
Tristan: Hmm…what's this thing…? I think its called a stereo…. *presses a few buttons and causes Black Sabbath to be played full blast*
Silverwane: AGH! My teeth are ringing in their sockets! TURN IT OFF!
Tristan: *presses a button and merely makes it louder* Oooo… cool! Heavy metal music!
Yami: Amazing! The song has drowned out the unceasing beeping in Yugi's Soul Room from the VirtualPet! I have been saved!
Yugi: But how will you know when it is hungry…?
Yami: Ahhgh…nooooo…not…the…puppy eyes…. I cannot…. stand…. the puppy eyes…. Noooo….
Silverwane: My brain…reeling…. Must…be saved….
Tea: I can't find any way to turn it off O.O
Yami Bakura: Hey, wait! I can't hear Malik and Marik anymore!
Silverwane: That's because they're not quarreling anymore.…
Marik: *Millennium Rod raised over his head* I must rescue our ears!!
Silverwane: No! That cost me-
*CRASH*
Silverwane: …money….
Yami: Nooo! The beeping has returned!
Marik: Finally… I have destroyed an evil unlike any other we have seen before…. *collapses*
Malik: Now I can take his Millennium Rod!
Yami Bakura: No you don't! *grabs it*
Malik: *tries to grab it back* MINE!
Yami Bakura: MINE!
Malik: MINE!
Yami Bakura: MINE!
Silverwane: *sighs and starts walking away* I'm going back to bed….
Malik: MINE!
Yami Bakura: MINE!
Malik: I deserve it because I'm supposed to have it!
Yami Bakura: I deserve it because I'm going to take over the world with the Millennium Items!
Malik: Well so am I!
Yami Bakura: I deserve it more!
Malik: You have one all ready! I'd have none!
Yami Bakura: The point
Marik: *wakes up* Huh…? O.o MINE! *grabs onto Millennium Rod*
Yugi: Oh well… at least my Puzzle is going to be safe from them for now…
Marik/Malik/Yami Bakura: *heads snap to look at Yugi* Did you say Millennium Puzzle?
Yami: Oh great…. Yugi. I think it is now a wise time to run
Marik/Malik/Yami Bakura: *start chasing Yugi* MINE!
Silverwane: *calls the doctor* I've got a throbbing headache…
Doctor: Put a lime in a coconut and drink it all up, then call me in the morning
Silverwane: Now it's a reference to the Muppets. Will this situation get any worse?!
Tristan: Oh look! The Teletubbies are on!
Silverwane: I should never have asked…
*************************************************
The 12 hours are up…Silverwane: Okay, now we'll go see how Duke Devlin is doing! *opens the door* Hello there, Duke! Uhh…what are you doing?
Devlin: This will open up a whole new game market! Not only with Dungeon Dice monsters, but these things called VirtualPets, I will become rich!
Silverwane: Devlin…
Devlin: Yes?
Silverwane: They've all ready been out on the market
Devlin: They…have?
Silverwane: Yes
Devlin: Oh. *pauses* I HATE VIRTUALPETS! They made me spend all that time for nothing! And I totally missed Watching Grass Grow and Watching Ice Melt on TV! I never miss that show! At least I taped Watching Glue Dry, Watching Paint Peal, Watching Leaves Turn, and Watching an Oil Painting Dry.
Silverwane: You must have a very exciting and busy life…
Devlin: *beams* You noticed
Silverwane: Did you miss Teletubbies too?
Devlin: Teletubbies is for babies
Tristan: IS NOT!
Devlin: You watch Teletubbies?
Yami Bakura: So do I. I find it a very interesting and educational show. It is very fascinating….
Silverwane: So this is why I try not to get involved with you people. Anyways, who to torture next….
Yami: Yugi, I do not think it wise to stick a banana in your ear…
Joey: *revives* Did someone say banana? Food? *reaches hungrily for banana*
Fly: *gets caught in the wake of Joey's incoming mouth and is accidentally eaten*
Joey: O.o GACK…
*the sound of a picture being taken echoes across the room*
Weevil: Now I can show all my friends at school what Wheeler looks like when he's swallowed a fly! *demonic laughter*
Silverwane: Weevil, did you know you have all the characteristics of the bug you're named after? Including the fact you make people want to squash you underfoot?
Malik: *rides motorcycle into room* Must…squash…Weevil…
Weevil: AAAAAAGH! *runs and trips over Kaiba*
Malik: *stops* Can I run over them both?
Silverwane: Nah, let's keep the violence out of this…
Malik: *pouts* But what's the fun in that?
Silverwane: What you can do is throw Weevil in the garbage bin….
Malik: And run over the garbage bin?
Silverwane: Yes-NO!
Malik: Okay! ^_^ *grabs Weevil and hauls him outside*
Yugi: Hey! They finally got off hold on that number you told me to dial!
Silverwane: Well it's a little to late for it now….
Yugi: They say its important. There's been reports of a madman outside trying to run over a garbage bin with a steamroller…. There was talk about a lady wanting to sue for him running over her rose bushes…
Silverwane: *sighs and brings Weevil back with authoress powers*
Weevil: I don't deserve to live with potato peelings and coffee grinds! I deserve a wild and free life among the bugs- er… hello again….
Tristan: Hey, keep it quiet in there! I'm trying to watch Sesame Street!
Devlin: You do realize that Sesame Street is for really young people?
Tristan: IS NOT!
[Joey: Hey you, authoress person!]
[Silverwane: Joey, you're not supposed to talk to the authoress directly like this.]
[Joey: I know. But the jokes are getting monotonous. We need a new twist! Some new plot thing! Something else! Something that is actually interesting! Even I'm getting bored over here!]
[Tristan: Yeah. I mean, why would I like Teletubbies and stuff anyways?]
[Silverwane: You have heard of comical satire and jokes, haven't you?]
[Tristan: Well I find it insulting. You better fix it or else]
[Silverwane: You forget that I am the authoress. I am all powerful compared to a weakling like you. Now, you will either do what I say or I will give you a Super Wedge of Doom]
[Tristan: *grumbles before going back into the story*]
[Joey: I was serious….]
[Silverwane: Don't worry, I'll think of something….]
*suddenly, a one-eyed one-horned purple people eater jumps into the room*
[Joey: Not that insane!]
[Silverwane: Well, genius, do you have any better ideas?]
[Joey: Maybe something that fits with the theme… Like the Winged Donut from the Fires of Doom!]
[Silverwane: *mutters about this being the last time I take advice from Joey*]
Silverwane: Bah, pathetic *erases one-eyed one-horned purple people eater* Now… here's something that will REALLY scare you all… The Giant Boogey Monster of Death is coming!
Characters: -.- *blink* That's…lame…
Silverwane: Okay, okay…. How about-
Malik: You always want to take control over everything. How about we take a bit of control?
Yami Bakura: Yeah. I want a say too!
Tristan: I don't want to be liking Teletubbies!
Weevil: I don't want to be turned into Al la Squashed Bug!
Tea: I want people to listen to my friendship talks!
Yami: I want the VirtualPet removed from Yugi's Soul Room…
Ryou: I want to get in the story!
Mai: I was only mentioned once. No fair!
Serenity: What about me?
Mokuba: Me too!
Kaiba: And I don't want to be lying here like this until the authoress remembers about me….
Marik: Character revolt!
Silverwane: Now now…calm down…. This will all get worked out…. Er, what are you doing with that VirtualPet. No! Noooooooo! *is stuffed in the broom closet with a zombie VirtualPet* This is mutiny!
Malik: Now I can take over the world!
Marik: No, now I can take over the world!
Yami Bakura: You're both wrong! I will!
Pegasus: Fools. I will be the one who will take over the world.
Mai: I'm in the story! ^_^
Ryou: So am I!
Kaiba: And I can actually move…*sits up*
Silverwane: I'm warning you all! Let me out or else!
Characters: No!
Silverwane: Fine. You wanted a plot twist? I'm giving you a plot twist…
Now that the characters have revolted what is going to happen next? Will it involve sugar-high Yu-Gi-Oh characters and a fight over the last M&M? Or maybe some unforeseen, but rather hilarious, occurrences….?
To be continued…