6. Cry of the Hopeful


"'I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will guide you with my
eye... be glad in the Lord and rejoice, you righteous; and shout for joy all you upright in
heart,' Psalms 32:8," I whispered. I was curled against a warmth and I knew from the rise
and fall of the being, that whoever it was (most likely Heero) that they were awake.

"What does it mean?" Heero asked quietly.

"It's about how God guides us," I mumbled. "We learned it at the..."

"I'm sorry," he said in response to my empty trailing off. I knew that the pain had written
itself into my face. It always does. He touched my chin softly and forced me to look at
him. "They're nice. Give me another one now."

"No please or thank you, Heero?" I laughed.

"Hn," he snorted and I could feel him waiting. He was serious about this. Very serious.
So, I took a deep breath.

"'Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all
your ways acknowledge Him and he shall direct your paths,'" I intoned. "Proverbs 3:5 to
6."

"Why were you saying....?" he said. Wow. What a speech for ya, Hee-chan.

"I think I need a little guidance," I said slowly. "I can't even find the bathroom... without
help. Can I?"

"You will be able to," Heero said simply.

"Oh?"

"Yes. 6 steps to get to our door. Open it. Then turn to the left. 12 steps forward. Then
turn to the right. Two steps to the door. Open it. The sink is to your left. The shower is
four steps foward. The toilet is three steps forward," Heero said and I heard the sounds of
his laptop booting up and then the familiar sounds of tapping.

"How the fuck did you do that?" I demanded, memorizing the information.

"Trowa and I did it last night. Trowa and Quatre felt you needed some space and that
being able to move around independantly might help," Heero said. There echoed another,
'Hn,' and then the tapping.

"Dining room," I demanded.

"6 steps to the door. Open it. Turn to the right. Two steps. Stairs. There are 13 of them.
Turn to the left at the bottom. Sixteen steps down the hall. Turn to the right. Open the
door. That's the kitchen and dining area," Heero said clearly. I memorized it.

"And my clothes?" I asked.

"Get off the bed. Turn to the right. Dresser is one step," Heero said without hesitating.
"We took the colored clothes out. Everything is black so it shouldn't matter if you get
anything wrong."

"Heero," I began before I grabbed him. It was completely random. I don't usually do this
kind of thing. Suddenly, I wanted him. He saved me. He came after me... even when the
others knew I was dead. It wasn't about debt payment. It was about trust.

Trust is something that slowly gets chipped from you after a while. They say that soldiers
have to trust eachother. The truth is that when you're used to getting guns shoved in your
face, the trust dissipates pretty damn quick. There is no trust. Now, I wanted to show
trust.

This wasn't going to be about love. I wanted to tell the boy... the man that saved me that I
trusted him. That I wanted him. That I wanted him with me. So, I rolled him over and
straddled him quickly. I could feel the surprise radiating from him and laughed as I moved
forward to capture his lips in a kiss. The surprise faded quickly as I felt his tongue push
gently past my lips. Heero tasted like listerine and cherries. It was an odd combination that
I liked as I felt his arms encircle me.

There was momentary panic and memories of rape and torture. I shoved those away. I
needed sex. I didn't know why, but I needed it and I wasn't going to examine anything too
closely. Heero. His smell, his being and I wanted and needed him. Now!

Hands tugged gently at my shirt and I smiled slowly, showing him that it was alright.
Pausing for a moment, Heero studied me and then flipped us. I found myself on bottom
and growled in surprise.

"You're mine?" he asked and I almost whimpered as I felt the ghost kisses against my
neckline and the sucking pressure against my collarbone.

"Yours," I whispered back with a moan. Hell with it, he could fuck me. Anything. He
could have anything he wanted from me as long as he would never, ever stop.

Buttons slowly were undone and I felt tickling fingers against my chest. His tongue slowly
licked butterfly kisses into the shell of my ear as I writhed. There is no other word for it.
In under five minutes, he had me moaning on the bed. I could feel the flush on my cheeks
and could only wonder where his hands, his lips, his body would be next.

Lips pressed chastely against mine and I found him gripping my hand tightly, like it was an
anchor. I could imagine those sultry blue eyes looking at me and took a breath. "Duo, are
you sure? After..." he said.

"Yes," I almost yelled impatiently. "I need it. I need it. I don't know why, but I need it." I
tried to pull him back down to me, so that my mind could be back in that guessing game
of pleasure, but he escaped.

"Then I better lock the door," the perfect soldier said.