9. Cry of Confusion


I woke up with him sleeping against me. He smelled of sweat and looked like he'd just
been given the biggest piece of chocolate ever offered. I smirked and wondered if he was
sore. Okay, I have a small ego.

I woke and stretched my muscles. In all honesty, I was confused. He had just been
violated and tortured sexually and otherwise, and yet he comes to me, seeking exactly
what was used to hurt him, for comfort. That was... totally illogical.

So, was Duo.

I suppose it could have to do with... love? Did he need love? Maybe... he thought I was
incapable of that and that he'd just have to settle for sex. Did I love Duo? I didn't know. I
thought I did at one point. However, love is a definite liability for a soldier. If you love
another soldier, then you worry about keeping them and yourself alive before the mission.
Sometimes you aren't meant to stay alive. Sometimes you're just meant to accomplish the
mission.

Slipping from the bed, I heard a muttered "Stay," from the bed before Duo hugged a
pillow in replacement of me.

Losing my virginity didn't make me feel any different. Aren't I supposed to feel more...
manly or something? Hn. Irrelevant.

Slipping on a clean pair of shorts and then grabbing a tank-top, I unlocked the door and
headed into the living room. I was intending on going into the kitchen, but I was stopped
by three eyes staring gleefully at me.

"Hn," I snorted and tried to move past.

"Details?" Quatre asked tentatively. "We heard... er... noise."

"No," I said and tried to move past but I was blocked. "Move."

"What happened?" Trowa asked and I wondered how much affect Quatre was having on
his personality. Afterall, he usually never questioned like this.

"He needed something. I gave it," I said, and finally pushed them out of the way. As I
passed, I heard a sniff from Quatre. Then, I realized I still smelled of sweat and sex. I
hadn't taken a shower yet.

"I knew it! You slept together! Oh, congratulations Heero!" the pilot exclaimed. Trowa
and I looked at him like he was from another planet. He acted like he wanted to plan a
slumber-party.

"You and me, upstairs. Now," Trowa said to me, narrowing his eye, and Quatre frowned,
looking confused.

"Uh... not a happy moment?"

I followed Trowa upstairs and waited for the bathroom door to close before he looked me
up and down. I stood, closest to the door, hand on the gun hidden near me and
instinctually looking for all exits in case Trowa decided the current developement wasn't
to his liking. I wouldn't want to have to kill an ally, but I would.

"I read your original report on Duo's condition and so did Wufei. Quatre didn't, but we
read it very carefully Heero," the pilot said.

"Hn," I retorted.

"So, the fact that you just screwed a rape victim has me a little worried," Trowa finished.
He crossed his arms in front of him and then waited.

"Duo initiated the encounter, if that's what you want to know."

"Look, Heero, that's not the point. Do you even...? Had you ever...?" Trowa began,
unsure.

"No," I said, reddening. "Never."

"That explains... a lot. They took something from him that he guards with his life. Control.
It's not really my place to guess, but wouldn't you say even the hair's about control?
Calling himself Death in hopes of controlling it maybe? I don't know. What I do know is
that they took control from him when they... raped him."

"I already said he initiated the encounter. Are you accusing me of raping him? If you are,
you might want to leave," I said slowly.

"I'm just saying that even sex with someone safe right after being tortured might not be a
good idea," Trowa responded.

"Hn," I mumbled. "I already told him much of the same thing. It happened... so fast."

"Actually, it's been quite a while. We've been forced to listen to you for at least an hour
and probably more-"

"Shut up," I said, opening the door. "I'll look into it. He said he would talk to me."

"Good."

"Hn," I said as I walked away. This was getting complicated and I didn't need to think
about it right now. I didn't want to think about it ever. I felt... complicated.

[Author's Note: I'm looking for a few good betas! All my betas currently are on different
projects so chapters 9-12 are currently unrevised. If you'd be interested in checking for
grammer, plot problems, confusing dialogue etc., drop me a line at
stormwindktreva@aol.com. I'd also be posting future chapters to you first to be checked
before hitting ff.net with them. If Gundam Wing isn't your thing I have two Cardcaptor
Sakura fics needing betas as well as a ton of original fics.]